Is "bottom" or "top" ONLY common?

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Originally Posted by cbb83

Personally I've found age differences also play a role: men younger than I am tend to approach somewhat submissively and more bottom-like, where as men over 50 with grey hair tend to approach dominant and top-like.

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I had never even considered the reasons for the undeniable and well documented dominance of the Silver Fox (50+ greyed hair men with remarkable sexual prowress ). But now here are some thoughts.

Physics?
The best bottoms need flexible limbs...good when you're young:) As a top...it's actually possible to have sex in the same position .. ..no matter how many times the bottom changes theirs. The older you get...the more that sounds appealing.

Aesthetics?
I suppose if you asked a 50 year old man and a 25 year old man to send out their ass pics...which pics do you think might make the download onto most men's harddrive. Fuckable, scrumptious, firm, hand-slapping bottoms are notoriously difficult to maintain as one gets older. Mine's already gone at 33... I can admit that. I guess dicks age better (in terms of aesthetics), so maybe that's why men turn more 'top' as they get older, to showcase the best of what they've got (which something both men and women do at any age). The competition one faces as an aging bottom must be overwhelming.

The male ego?
With the availability of Viagra older men can also relive the fuck stamina of a virile 18 year old again... who wouldn't want to be able to fuck a 25 year old stud at 50 still? Especially if u pop the pill before the 25 yr old arrives, and then explain away your never-ending hardness as simply being one of life's naturals.

The male ego is forever stuck at 18....no matter a man's age. That's tough ladies... you have no idea.

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Originally Posted by Dafydd

The male ego is forever stuck at 18.

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Mine's stuck on 17.:tongue:

I remember the days (not that long ago) when I had no doubt that m-m sex would be the simplest sex possible for all concerned. Two horny men, what could be complicated about that? But fek me, did I get THAT wrong!:eek2:
Men are so much more pickier than women IMO, and the pre-hooking up convo's with one can be like attending a job interview for Barbara Streisand's P.A.

Lists that need to be checked:
1. Top, bottom, versa?
2. Kissing?
3. Quickie or long sesh?
4. Oral, anal, both?
5. Swallow, spit, neither?
6. Rimming, fingering?
7. Rough play, sensual?
8. Underwear? Ruberwear etc?
9. Dirty talk?
10. W/s, fetish play?
11. Cum n go, chat?
12. Poppers?
* Probably some could add to that short list.lol

We lovely men NEED to know that we'll get satisfaction at all costs, and we KNOW what we need and will demand it! Not like those womenfolk who just hope for the best, and maybe 'tut' afterwards.:rolleyes:

That is so true, Gear!

For as long as I can remember, I would go without, before I'd settle for less than I wanted in a lover (of either gender).

My GF mentioned that I had more specific interests, regarding what I thought was appealing, interesting, sensual, than anyone she knew.

It's obvious she's not nearly as picky...look who she's with, then look at who I'm with!

At one time I was versatile, but now I am a bottom only. I am a bottom because I like to give pleasure to my partners and I've found that the best way to do that is to give him a fantastic blowjob and then offer him my ass. I absolutely love the feel of a hard cock sliding in and out of me and I love the feeling of hot sperm squirting into me. I even love the feel of sperm leaking out of me. Another reason is that my prostate seems to be in just the right position to get constantly stimulated whenever I'm being fucked. It feels so wonderful that I've been known to orgasm while getting fucked.

I think there are a lot of aspects that make this determination, at least initially. A person's desires, experiences, confidence, experience, whether they WANT to be dominate or submissive. I definitely used to think of myself as wanting to be submissive/bottom - but with more experience and comfort with my partner I also found it nice to be able to give pleasure in a dominate sort of role too. I think everybody has a need to be touched and held. You can be dominate and yet not demanding. If you are very good together and can get the other person to relax it doesn't seem like forcing anything at all, things just flow.

Some people really have had bad experiences in their lives, it takes a lot of love and patience sometimes.

Being a bottom is easier at this point. *I'm 47. *Had my first male contact giving head when I was 45 and separated. *My 5" cock didn't always want to cooperate with women. *It likes men. *Sucked 7 cocks from 4 different men. *Received anal twice. *Loved being a bottom. *No pressure for my cock to perform. *I love cum in my mouth. *I love making a man cum. *But, I also enjoy playing with women's boobs and eating them out. *Maybe my intercourse problem stems from my ex-wife. *Will take me time to get back on that saddle. *Right now, I don't just want to blow men. *I want a man in me with a hard cock. *I am exploring a new life and sexual, I like it a lot.

My total pleasure comes when I'm completely satisfying my lover. Hence, I'm versatile orally and anally. I love to watch my lover smile and sweat.

I'm versatile but more of a bottom, being able to feel your lover deep inside as you cum is just the ultimate for me

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Originally Posted by tenni

I remember being uncertain as to the top and bottom scenario. I didn't know if it only applied to anal or oral too. If I could get away with it, I'd be an oral top only. Fair seems to be fair though and I give what I get. I usually say I'm not a bottom when asked (usually they seem to want to know about anal).

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Tenni let's be honest here I feel bad for anyone who has the unpleasant experience of having sex with you or let alone attempting "dating" or a "relationship". Even if I was single and not married or partnered and you were the last man on Earth I would not have sex with you.

A boy likes what a boy likes. As has been stated. I like giving pleasure. With my mouth and ass. I can't always please with my cock. But I can please by letting my lovers use me.

Due to posstate cancer and subsequent surgery I no longer can "top" so i am totaly a bottom now and enjoy it immensely. I had "bottomed" prior to surgery so in knew tho i had lost one pleasure I still could enjoy hot mm sex

I have never enjoyed a big dick ramming my ass. I love to ride a small-ish cock tho, and even came from it. I guess he was about 5-6" and being on top could control how deep, I'm guessing no more than 4". If I could, I would ride a small dick every day and be happy. Course I'm 49, and the one time I tried to top, I went limp. No such problem fucking women in the ass. I am just a certain kinda bi, I guess.

When doing anal with a man I love to bottom it is a very big turn on. I enjoy taking a lady anally but a mans ass does nothing for me.

Im a total bottom guy.I love a big cocked guy fucking me and knowing hes really into it is a turn on for me.Ive only topped 1 time with a guy altho I do enjoy doing a woman in the bottom.

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Originally Posted by BiDaveDtown

Tenni let's be honest here I feel bad for anyone who has the unpleasant experience of having sex with you or let alone attempting "dating" or a "relationship". Even if I was single and not married or partnered and you were the last man on Earth I would not have sex with you.

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yeah, I guess if it was just you, BiDave and Tenni left on this planet, Tenni WOULD be the last man on earth.
and a bloody hot one at that... You must have pondered this post-apocalyptic coupling often, because your comment seems so atmospheric.. Or is that just the sulphur fumes it leaves behind when read. Tenni is a sexual beast... Much hotter than just snarling like one.

Im interested in both but I think I would like bottoming better

I am versatile in oral and love both giving and receiveing. I have not done anal...yet, but I really want to. I am much more interested in being a bottom for anal, but I do not rule out topping too. It's just right now, I fantasize and crave being the fuckee first and then later being the fucker.

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Originally Posted by BiDaveDtown

Yes I would agree that your experience is very limited. What you wrote in your post however is not true, and it is based on very bad homophobic and biphobic myths and stereotypes about bisexual and gay men and cultural baggage about how straight people think we have sex or how we act during sex. There are a lot of bottoms who are not passive or submissive, and who are aggressive. There are tops who are very passive and even submissive. A man's personality, appearance, body language, or character has nothing to do with if he's a top, bottom, or versatile for certain types of sex between men.

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Agreed Dave; sometimes the person you'd least suspect of being submissive in a sexual context is the very one who wants, nay, needs to be domintaed during sex. The cliche of the high powered business exec who goes to a dominatrix to get his ass whacked with a riding crop springs to mind.

Often, our sexual behaviour bears very little resemblance to our day to day persona.

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Originally Posted by jimisbi

At one time I was versatile, but now I am a bottom only. I am a bottom because I like to give pleasure to my partners and I've found that the best way to do that is to give him a fantastic blowjob and then offer him my ass. I absolutely love the feel of a hard cock sliding in and out of me and I love the feeling of hot sperm squirting into me. I even love the feel of sperm leaking out of me. Another reason is that my prostate seems to be in just the right position to get constantly stimulated whenever I'm being fucked. It feels so wonderful that I've been known to orgasm while getting fucked.

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I can relate to what you said about pleasing your partner...with either mouth or ass...that is SO what it's about for me. Plus the pressure against the prostate is a unique sensation that gets me off every time. While I don't bareback, I do love the feel of a man inside me. That's why I can unequivocally say that I'm a bottom. If a guy wants me to top him I most likely will but the one time I tried it it did nothing for me.

Wow very interesting topic - I would have never thought of this. I have yet to ask my husband so it will be interesting to see what his answer is but I suppose if and when this ever happens my husband would most likely be a bottom. My perspective comes from me introducing all this to him. He would most likely do what I am interested in seeing such as him getting F ed or seeing a guy cum in his mouth. I do not think he would really want to suck a guy and for certain would not be into a guy sucking him and there is no way he'd be into doing a guy. He'd probably go soft on that. However, I do think he would get into getting F ed. I know from my own experience that taking a toy anally is nice, taking a few fingers is even nicer, but none of that comes close to taking a real cock anally. I bet he will find that out as well, plus you have the added benefit of having a real one cum inside of you. Yeah, I think it'll blow his mind and he'd be a pure bottom likely to bend over for ever hard penis that'd cum in him. Okay there I go getting ahead of myself again.

No pun intended, but I can go either way..... :) I have topped and bottomed, even once was in the middle while screwing a gal while her husband topped me. It's all good, depending on circumstances, and (in my case) whether I can comfortably accept the size and shape of the other guys.

im totally a bottom lol my cock is saved for my gf but she doesnt like to play with my ass

I am technically a top the rare times I engage in anal sex with a male partner who I am in a relationship with or dating, and have never bottomed for anal sex and do not want to; but in reality I am neither since I am more into oral sex. There are some men who are versatile, but a lot of men are strictly a bottom or a top only for anal sex.

total vers here.. but prefer to fuck pussy, but will fuck a nice ass also.. I was with two guys one time, one was a bottom, the other a top and I was sandwiched in the middle.. it was incredible..

For those guys who are tops.. I have one word for you.. Prostate.. the male g-spot.. you don't need to get fucked by a guy to experience stimulating your prostate.. check out http://www.aneros.com/.. I use this when I fuck my female friends and it makes me have an incredible orgasm and she notices a difference when I use it.. plus.. it is recommended to stimulate your prostate to keep you nice and healthy.

BiJohn-I think that sex toys are gross and I don't like to put them up another man's ass and there's no way in hell I would put one up mine. I also do not want to have a woman or a man put a sex toy up my ass. I am a true top and I do not even enjoy having a finger inserted up my ass and when a man I was in a partnership did this to me it just feels like a prostate exam when my doctor does it to me. Rimming or having someone lick your shit hole is disgusting and there's no way in hell I am ever going to do that to someone and I have never had a man or woman rim me.

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Originally Posted by chapsmccall

im totally a bottom lol my cock is saved for my gf but she doesnt like to play with my ass

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I believe my husband would be like you if he opens up to and MMF sex, any MM would be because of me anyway, at least I believe at first. I think he will find anal with a real penis is going to blow his mind like it does me and he'll get addicted to it like I am. Oh goodness at the pictures I will get to take and the moooooovies I could make...

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Originally Posted by bijohnmpls

total vers here.. but prefer to fuck pussy, but will fuck a nice ass also.. I was with two guys one time, one was a bottom, the other a top and I was sandwiched in the middle.. it was incredible..

For those guys who are tops.. I have one word for you.. Prostate.. the male g-spot.. you don't need to get fucked by a guy to experience stimulating your prostate.. check out http://www.aneros.com/.. I use this when I fuck my female friends and it makes me have an incredible orgasm and she notices a difference when I use it.. plus.. it is recommended to stimulate your prostate to keep you nice and healthy.

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Can you explain what you mean? What do you do? How do you use this? How does it help you have incredible orgasms? What difference can you lady friends tell and how? Thanks for your reply.

I am versatile slightly leaning to the bottom side...but to answer the o.p.'s question, I would say yes. At least in my own experience, versatile people seem fewer and further between than those that are just one way or the other

BiDave I agree with you 100 %. By looking at me you would never think that I enjoy sex with men. There have been guys into play with myself and a lady that were taken aback when they found out that I do enjoy having a cock or a toy in me.Even when I am being topped I am in control of the play. That is the reason that I like it best when I am riding a cock while he is on his back. I control the tempo and the depth of penatration. I can bring him to the brink and not let him cum until I am ready.I can also use the talent that I have of being able to milk him without moving up and down.I am into anal with a lady, but have no desire to top a man.Anally I am a total bottom. With oral I would rather get than give unles I am being pegged or sharing giving head with a lady. So orally I am a top. I have been on several sites where in the ads it asks if you are a top or bottom for both oral and anal.

I have come across lots of top only, bottom only and vers. Me personally I like both.

Wow so much great insightful information - thanks so very much guys! You have helped me so much. Now I love bringing up this topic with my lady friends. Asking them if their husbands are tops or bottoms and now top or bottom orally and anally. I never processed that. My husband is currently neither with a male BUT I had him all worked up this weekend and asked him about it. We are pretty certain he will be perfectly fine being a bottom (if I am getting this correct) orally - where he is receiving oral from me and a man or a man and his wife. As for him giving head, he knows how much I desire to do this with him and he may one day do it with me but for now not happening. I did ask him, "Seriously - this husband and wife suck you off and you wouldn't return the favor with me???" When I put it that way he was more flexible. I mean, he loves cum, certainly more taps, more cum, more love, right??? Now with regards to anal, he is certainly both with regards to woman. He'll let me do practically anything to him anally and he loooooooves to do me, but has no interest what so ever in doing another guy. In the heat of the moment while I am doing him I have been able to get him to relinquish that he would love to feel a nice throbbing cock cumming in his arse. So he is clearly going to be a bottom when it comes to that. Again I posed the question, "So you are going to take, take, take, and never return the favor? He put it like this, "Honey, I'll do most anything for you and when the day comes that I give in to all your kinky little fantasies with men, why on earth would I want to do some thing I can do with you? I might be able to let you suck me off with a guy, I might even be able to let a guy cum in me anally as well as orally for you, but these are things that you and I as a couple cannot reproduce, so I get that and am okay with moving in that direction. BUT - I do mean BUTT, I love yours, an am attracted to yours, there is no way a man's butt is going to do anything for me...!" As his wife I get that, I respect that, it makes perfect sense. However, I know he would have no problem riding some other wife than me anally so why not the couple as a pair? Gotta love sex and all its intricacies.

Totally bottom here... Love to give head to a nice cock and have recently learned the pleasures of being fucked.

I have always considered myself strictly bottom...until recently. To me, being bottom is to be a bit on the submissive side...I prefer my partner to "lead the way" in a sense. Plus, I just LOVE the feeling of a cock gently slipping and gliding in and out me...feeling him pulsing deep inside me. However, I have also come to the realization that wanting to satisfy my partner as much as possible, this might mean that I would also need to be top. So, while having never done it yet, would most definitely do so if my partner wanted me to. Although, I think I would still want to remain predominantly bottom.

I think I get why some guys are top only and some are bottom only and some are versatile either because that's what turns them on most or at least because they like fucking and getting fucked too, and they like each one enough to do more than just once.

And it's not just a physical or sexual pleasure thing. There is also a non-physical component that sometimes can matter as much or even more than the physical sensations. A top is in control and he's the man who fucks his boy bitch's boy pussy. A bottom is on the other side of this mental power game.

I personally am a total bottom. For both the physical pleasure and mental vibe reasons and they're equally important factors or close to that.

If and when I'm in the mood to fuck someone in the ass I'll fuck a hot babe's hot ass. Because for me a woman's ass is hot to me sexually and very few male asses are or even could be.

I am 100% bottom, and will only "top" women :) I love being rimmed, and rimming the right women (super hot, and feels really good!). Also love my toys, and my wife has her favorites too! :)

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Originally Posted by man4girlgirl4man

I think I get why some guys are top only and some are bottom only and some are versatile either because that's what turns them on most or at least because they like fucking and getting fucked too, and they like each one enough to do more than just once.

And it's not just a physical or sexual pleasure thing. There is also a non-physical component that sometimes can matter as much or even more than the physical sensations. A top is in control and he's the man who fucks his boy bitch's boy pussy. A bottom is on the other side of this mental power game.

I personally am a total bottom. For both the physical pleasure and mental vibe reasons and they're equally important factors or close to that.

If and when I'm in the mood to fuck someone in the ass I'll fuck a hot babe's hot ass. Because for me a woman's ass is hot to me sexually and very few male asses are or even could be.

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so true! Thankfully there are men that love to fuck my ass! Yeah for tops! Without them, there would be no adventuresome MM sex!

A lot of guys writing personal ads define themselves as a top or bottom or vers. As soon as I saw the term oral bottom, I started using it as I am not an anal bottom and want to make that clear. When looking for an fwb, I think it's important for a bisexual to be specific. We have a shitload of categories and we may cross into more than one. I don't want to waste time meeting a guy to see if we get along just to find out he really likes to pound an ass hard. That said, after a relationship develops, boundaries can be moved around. It's good though, to have a common starting ground.

I have been both but my buds know I prefer to bottom. I do enjoy the feeling of a rock hard cock sliding in and out. Some times I have a couple of my friends breed me. After they pop I lay there with 2 or 3 loads leaking from my ass. My bud next door knows that no matter the time of day he can cum over and fuck the hell out of me. Its not uncommon for him to show up in my garage while I'm tinkering and want a blow job or a quick fuck. I have taken many loads bent over my tool box. Yes if you are thinking I am his whore you would be correct. He might fuck me once a week but I suck and swallow him everyday. He is 6'4 220 lbs and hairy as hell. My wife really enjoys fucking his as well. He has the best of both worlds,

as long as I have a big thick cock in me I do not care if I am on my back getting it like a woman does in which I love getting it like that or if I am riding him or if I am sleeping with my back to him and he starts to slide it in me it is all good as long as we both have orgasms at same time when he blows his hot love juices in me all day or night long

At this point of my constantly-evolving sexuality, I can't imagine myself being able to sustain an erection in order to top a hairy, masculine man. A feminine transgendered person? Yeah, could probably do that... In fact, I'd love to have the opportunity to try that!

I'd also be a willing bottom for either!