Is "bottom" or "top" ONLY common?

[Gearbox]

Yes, I meant the 'giver'. I like your 'lollypop' analogy, you beautiful man. That's exactly how passive/bottom the cock owner is when being sucked, and how active/top the sucker is.
But it could all switch if the cock sucker turns passive and the cock owner starts thrusting.lol
When on my back, being sucked, I'd say I was being passive, and the other is active. But when I'm thrusting, I'd say I was being active.

It maybe just semantics, but as I've noticed with 'subs', very often it's obvious that I as a 'dom' am passive to THEIR demands, and not 'doming' anybody. Much like a dildo being controlled by the user.lol Same with m&f. They may as well tap in a list of commands in my control panel, or give me a doggy biscuit!
Passive&active can have very different meanings between the physical and psychological viewpoints.
But at the end of the day it's all fun.

[Blue-Dragon69]

im more a bottem anal and oral but will top with right people m/f

[tenni]

"Surely if the 'oral top' is the one in control of dicktating, then I'd say any guy who places his willy inside a mouth full of teeth, he is definitely not the one in ultimate control, and should be considered entirely at the mercy of the head giver, the true merciful 'top'."

Daf seems to be taking us back to how the legend that vag's have teeth began?....
Ah, I see it a bit clearer. The "dicktator" can be both passive and active. On yer back..passive bottom. Thrusting dick into mouth..active top.

[dafydd]

crikey Tenni i can't believe u brought up the toothed vaginal maw..... brings me right back to my art degree and my first 'taste' of The Vagina Dentata - rather too hardcore at the end of term 1 for a 1st year student who was still getting used to exploring vaginas with his own dentata every weekend in the halls of residence..
Were we studying film noir and the femme fatale..? I can't even remember the connection...but....yes..quite an image..
for those that don't know, about vaginal jaws, you can read briefly about the Vagina Dentata here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina_dentata
or watch any modern horror movie with a monster/alien/creature : they all take their inspiration from a seminal scenein a scifi movie in which a big penis shaped foetus with a vaginal/cock hybrid multi-snouted mouth bursts out of John Hurts chest in 1979. (concidentally that was the same year i burst out of my mothers abdomen as a rather heavy screaming bundle of fury.... ripped untimeley from the womb...slash, spurt, and my mothers belly was sliced apart much like John Hurts chest and I was pulled screaming and bitching and moaning into the urgghh.... ..World.
You know i could have done with another couple more minutes inside getting ready. I was trying to fashion my umilcale chord as rather fabulours cravate around my neck ... either that or I was already thinking about suicide before i was officially born.

So in art college tenni.....hours and hours of bloody Camilia Paglia and her insistance on "Penis Fits Vagina!"
I vividly remember the tutors putting us in a room for 2 and half hours to watch Bound. Well who here hasn't watched Bound?

If there are any women who love sex with women on this site who HAVEN'T seen it (surely not possible) go and RENT IT NOW. ]#
stop blathering daf (but im so lonely)

what was the thread about again.. sorry..? or yeah SUBway VERSus DOMinoes... which is more fattening?

[aLABiM75 & StrF51]

.

Completely Versatile here.
I get that people prefer Top or Bottom, but I want it both ways every time whether Oral or Anal.

[*pan*]

i choose to bottom but have made exceptions, depends on who i am with and the mood i'm in.

[prefer_6]

I prefer to bottom but if my partner really wants to switch I will top.

[cbb83]

I've found that all but the most hardcore tops and bottoms are willing to do either - but only if their partner really wants it and asks. There are plenty of versatile people out there, although I think they are the minority. Personally, I'm versatile. Whether I'm top or bottom depends on the signals my partner is sending - body language is huge; how they are standing, moving, what they touch of themselves and you, how they look at you, what positions they move/stand in, etc... It's an unconscious (in most cases) little display of what they want - I respond to the suggestions their body speaks. Granted flat out telling me what's wanted also works, lol.

Personally I've found age differences also play a role: men younger than I am tend to approach somewhat submissively and more bottom-like, where as men over 50 with grey hair tend to approach dominant and top-like. Also... it seems most of the men roving around looking for sex are bottoms, I think because it's easier to get it than give it. However, in the actual dating world - its FAR more balanced.

[*pan*]

my understanding of the terms are top is giver in anal sex bottom is the reciever in anal sex. someone w
<:advertising oral top would mean one who likes to perform oral and is also a top. oral bottom is one who like to perform oral and recieve anal sex. one could be top but oral versital top meaning will recieve and give oral but only top anal sex wise. hence versital versital will go either way for anal or oral giving and recieving on either. the first denoting sexual preference the second being oral preference. dam this is getting confusing. see how something so simple can be made so complicated lmao

but to answer the question yes it is very common.

[dafydd]

my understanding of the terms are top is giver in anal sex bottom is the reciever in anal sex. someone w

<:advertising oral top would mean one who likes to perform oral and is also a top. oral bottom is one who like to perform oral and recieve anal sex. one could be top but oral versital top meaning will recieve and give oral but only top anal sex wise. hence versital versital will go either way for anal or oral giving and recieving on either. the first denoting sexual preference the second being oral preference. dam this is getting confusing. see how something so simple can be made so complicated lmao

but to answer the question yes it is very common.

Pan, I've never thought sex was simple. It's always been complicated, physically/emotionally/morally etc.
2 men having sex has also the added complications of the weight of a lifetime's worth of homophobia/biphobia/gender role anxieties/misogynism/oppression/guilt ...and since 1982 the ever present thoughts of death/dying/rejection and vulnerability are now more tightly woven into sex than ever before.

I think the top/bottom template/labels/descriptions were widely used to make it less complicated, not more ...they make it easier to just to enjoy the sex because each man knows his script, when to walk on stage, what to say..and who to say it to.

But i think gay sex is now becoming over-simplified, dumbed-down, paint by numbers. I understand why: for quick NSA hook ups.., for men to enjoy sex again for its own sake.. and to have it quicker, easier, nearer and more on demand than before. They expect Google sex, where they type in what they want..and there are 10 guys offering it. With the release of Grindr, it's now even easier...y'all heard of Grindr? Blimey...it's frightening how easy it is get the sex you want, with who you want ...and Grindr now can make it happen within perhaps 20mins...you don't even have to have a profile..or a pic....

I like this quotation from Lindy West:
“I try to remember (and it is hard sometimes—real talk) that I’m an actual human being, not some math equation that can be solved by triangulating all of the nearest boners.”

d

[dafydd]

Personally I've found age differences also play a role: men younger than I am tend to approach somewhat submissively and more bottom-like, where as men over 50 with grey hair tend to approach dominant and top-like.

I had never even considered the reasons for the undeniable and well documented dominance of the Silver Fox (50+ greyed hair men with remarkable sexual prowress ). But now here are some thoughts.

Physics?
The best bottoms need flexible limbs...good when you're young As a top...it's actually possible to have sex in the same position .. ..no matter how many times the bottom changes theirs. The older you get...the more that sounds appealing.

Aesthetics?
I suppose if you asked a 50 year old man and a 25 year old man to send out their ass pics...which pics do you think might make the download onto most men's harddrive. Fuckable, scrumptious, firm, hand-slapping bottoms are notoriously difficult to maintain as one gets older. Mine's already gone at 33... I can admit that. I guess dicks age better (in terms of aesthetics), so maybe that's why men turn more 'top' as they get older, to showcase the best of what they've got (which something both men and women do at any age). The competition one faces as an aging bottom must be overwhelming.

The male ego?
With the availability of Viagra older men can also relive the fuck stamina of a virile 18 year old again... who wouldn't want to be able to fuck a 25 year old stud at 50 still? Especially if u pop the pill before the 25 yr old arrives, and then explain away your never-ending hardness as simply being one of life's naturals.

The male ego is forever stuck at 18....no matter a man's age. That's tough ladies... you have no idea.

[Gearbox]

The male ego is forever stuck at 18.

Mine's stuck on 17.

I remember the days (not that long ago) when I had no doubt that m-m sex would be the simplest sex possible for all concerned. Two horny men, what could be complicated about that? But fek me, did I get THAT wrong!
Men are so much more pickier than women IMO, and the pre-hooking up convo's with one can be like attending a job interview for Barbara Streisand's P.A.

Lists that need to be checked:
1. Top, bottom, versa?
2. Kissing?
3. Quickie or long sesh?
4. Oral, anal, both?
5. Swallow, spit, neither?
6. Rimming, fingering?
7. Rough play, sensual?
8. Underwear? Ruberwear etc?
9. Dirty talk?
10. W/s, fetish play?
11. Cum n go, chat?
12. Poppers?
* Probably some could add to that short list.lol

We lovely men NEED to know that we'll get satisfaction at all costs, and we KNOW what we need and will demand it! Not like those womenfolk who just hope for the best, and maybe 'tut' afterwards.

[Realist]

That is so true, Gear!

For as long as I can remember, I would go without, before I'd settle for less than I wanted in a lover (of either gender).

My GF mentioned that I had more specific interests, regarding what I thought was appealing, interesting, sensual, than anyone she knew.

It's obvious she's not nearly as picky...look who she's with, then look at who I'm with!

[jimisbi]

At one time I was versatile, but now I am a bottom only. I am a bottom because I like to give pleasure to my partners and I've found that the best way to do that is to give him a fantastic blowjob and then offer him my ass. I absolutely love the feel of a hard cock sliding in and out of me and I love the feeling of hot sperm squirting into me. I even love the feel of sperm leaking out of me. Another reason is that my prostate seems to be in just the right position to get constantly stimulated whenever I'm being fucked. It feels so wonderful that I've been known to orgasm while getting fucked.

[elian]

I think there are a lot of aspects that make this determination, at least initially. A person's desires, experiences, confidence, experience, whether they WANT to be dominate or submissive. I definitely used to think of myself as wanting to be submissive/bottom - but with more experience and comfort with my partner I also found it nice to be able to give pleasure in a dominate sort of role too. I think everybody has a need to be touched and held. You can be dominate and yet not demanding. If you are very good together and can get the other person to relax it doesn't seem like forcing anything at all, things just flow.

Some people really have had bad experiences in their lives, it takes a lot of love and patience sometimes.

[mas8092]

Being a bottom is easier at this point. *I'm 47. *Had my first male contact giving head when I was 45 and separated. *My 5" cock didn't always want to cooperate with women. *It likes men. *Sucked 7 cocks from 4 different men. *Received anal twice. *Loved being a bottom. *No pressure for my cock to perform. *I love cum in my mouth. *I love making a man cum. *But, I also enjoy playing with women's boobs and eating them out. *Maybe my intercourse problem stems from my ex-wife. *Will take me time to get back on that saddle. *Right now, I don't just want to blow men. *I want a man in me with a hard cock. *I am exploring a new life and sexual, I like it a lot.

[michel]

My total pleasure comes when I'm completely satisfying my lover. Hence, I'm versatile orally and anally. I love to watch my lover smile and sweat.

[cliffml]

I'm versatile but more of a bottom, being able to feel your lover deep inside as you cum is just the ultimate for me

[BiDaveDtown]

I remember being uncertain as to the top and bottom scenario. I didn't know if it only applied to anal or oral too. If I could get away with it, I'd be an oral top only. Fair seems to be fair though and I give what I get. I usually say I'm not a bottom when asked (usually they seem to want to know about anal).

Tenni let's be honest here I feel bad for anyone who has the unpleasant experience of having sex with you or let alone attempting "dating" or a "relationship". Even if I was single and not married or partnered and you were the last man on Earth I would not have sex with you.

[Tanabear]

A boy likes what a boy likes. As has been stated. I like giving pleasure. With my mouth and ass. I can't always please with my cock. But I can please by letting my lovers use me.

[upones]

Due to posstate cancer and subsequent surgery I no longer can "top" so i am totaly a bottom now and enjoy it immensely. I had "bottomed" prior to surgery so in knew tho i had lost one pleasure I still could enjoy hot mm sex

[onesucker4u]

I have never enjoyed a big dick ramming my ass. I love to ride a small-ish cock tho, and even came from it. I guess he was about 5-6" and being on top could control how deep, I'm guessing no more than 4". If I could, I would ride a small dick every day and be happy. Course I'm 49, and the one time I tried to top, I went limp. No such problem fucking women in the ass. I am just a certain kinda bi, I guess.

[bi4asplay]

When doing anal with a man I love to bottom it is a very big turn on. I enjoy taking a lady anally but a mans ass does nothing for me.

[bim49686]

Im a total bottom guy.I love a big cocked guy fucking me and knowing hes really into it is a turn on for me.Ive only topped 1 time with a guy altho I do enjoy doing a woman in the bottom.

[dafydd]

Tenni let's be honest here I feel bad for anyone who has the unpleasant experience of having sex with you or let alone attempting "dating" or a "relationship". Even if I was single and not married or partnered and you were the last man on Earth I would not have sex with you.

yeah, I guess if it was just you, BiDave and Tenni left on this planet, Tenni WOULD be the last man on earth.
and a bloody hot one at that... You must have pondered this post-apocalyptic coupling often, because your comment seems so atmospheric.. Or is that just the sulphur fumes it leaves behind when read. Tenni is a sexual beast... Much hotter than just snarling like one.

[Roxas]

Im interested in both but I think I would like bottoming better

[BiPantylover]

I am versatile in oral and love both giving and receiveing. I have not done anal...yet, but I really want to. I am much more interested in being a bottom for anal, but I do not rule out topping too. It's just right now, I fantasize and crave being the fuckee first and then later being the fucker.

[stonebow]

Yes I would agree that your experience is very limited. What you wrote in your post however is not true, and it is based on very bad homophobic and biphobic myths and stereotypes about bisexual and gay men and cultural baggage about how straight people think we have sex or how we act during sex. There are a lot of bottoms who are not passive or submissive, and who are aggressive. There are tops who are very passive and even submissive. A man's personality, appearance, body language, or character has nothing to do with if he's a top, bottom, or versatile for certain types of sex between men.

Agreed Dave; sometimes the person you'd least suspect of being submissive in a sexual context is the very one who wants, nay, needs to be domintaed during sex. The cliche of the high powered business exec who goes to a dominatrix to get his ass whacked with a riding crop springs to mind.

Often, our sexual behaviour bears very little resemblance to our day to day persona.

[stonebow]

At one time I was versatile, but now I am a bottom only. I am a bottom because I like to give pleasure to my partners and I've found that the best way to do that is to give him a fantastic blowjob and then offer him my ass. I absolutely love the feel of a hard cock sliding in and out of me and I love the feeling of hot sperm squirting into me. I even love the feel of sperm leaking out of me. Another reason is that my prostate seems to be in just the right position to get constantly stimulated whenever I'm being fucked. It feels so wonderful that I've been known to orgasm while getting fucked.

I can relate to what you said about pleasing your partner...with either mouth or ass...that is SO what it's about for me. Plus the pressure against the prostate is a unique sensation that gets me off every time. While I don't bareback, I do love the feel of a man inside me. That's why I can unequivocally say that I'm a bottom. If a guy wants me to top him I most likely will but the one time I tried it it did nothing for me.

[wifekinky4husband]

Wow very interesting topic - I would have never thought of this. I have yet to ask my husband so it will be interesting to see what his answer is but I suppose if and when this ever happens my husband would most likely be a bottom. My perspective comes from me introducing all this to him. He would most likely do what I am interested in seeing such as him getting F ed or seeing a guy cum in his mouth. I do not think he would really want to suck a guy and for certain would not be into a guy sucking him and there is no way he'd be into doing a guy. He'd probably go soft on that. However, I do think he would get into getting F ed. I know from my own experience that taking a toy anally is nice, taking a few fingers is even nicer, but none of that comes close to taking a real cock anally. I bet he will find that out as well, plus you have the added benefit of having a real one cum inside of you. Yeah, I think it'll blow his mind and he'd be a pure bottom likely to bend over for ever hard penis that'd cum in him. Okay there I go getting ahead of myself again.