Why are you a top, bottom, or vers?

[DLazguy]

I say that I'm vers because I've let guys suck me and I would top another guy, but I really would prefer to bottom. My reasoning is that a man sucking my dick or me fucking him is no different than my wife sucking my dick and me fucking her in the ass. I want what I can't have/get from her. Sure, she could peg me, but I want the real deal. I want a real cock fucking me, that a man is thrusting into me and then pumping his hot cum into me. I also want to suck his dick. Why? Because I want to do what I'm not supposed to and I like knowing that I suck dick better than my wife. I also like thinking about my wife while there's a hard cock in my mouth. I love women and pussy, but there's something about sneaking around to play with another guy and having his hard cock in your mouth. Playing with men is purely sexual for me. I have no romantic feelings for, nor do I want a romantic relationship with them. I just want their dick.

Why are you a top bottom or vers?

[remington12369]

I'm 90 percent bottom. I like the submissive role in m2m play. Not BDSM or humiliation. Just giving pleasure to my man like a woman would. I want his cum in me one way or another! However I will top on occasion. It's just not my first choice!

[biguycancun]

100% bottom. Used to be vers, but getting into crossdressing and assuming the "feminine" role gave and continues to give me a release from responsibilities and a freedom to be in the moment and abandon all the daily bullshit. Now that I'm older and obviously less attractive the dressing is far less important but being on the bottom continues to fulfills all my needs including needing to give my partner a good ride.

[monaohio]

i always felt i was born with wrong body and i enjoy feeling how a woman feels having sex and being made love to is why i am a bottom only

[Footstep40]

The first time I had sex with a guy at 18, I topped him, I had had sex with my ex girlfriend before, he and I had our week of exploration with his parents in Hawaii for a week. It was ok, he was not a fan of bottoming, so our second round I tried bottoming, and once passed the initial pain, I loved it. It felt so good and finally very natural and normal to my brain. I have never topped a guy since, I became a very feminine twink in my early days and identified as gay. I don’t know that I would consider exchanging oral as being top or bottom, as my husband and I do, and I am clearly the one in our relationship that takes on the more feminine role in our relationship. I thought my days of twink behavior was in the rear view mirror, but it just works perfectly for us. I prefer it. He loves it too, we talk about it quite often, it’s very freeing to be honest. I love my masculine hairy man, he loves his hairless effeminate guy. He isn’t into bottoming, he’s tried it few times in his life, not his thing. We both love that we compliment and complete each other in our day to day stuff to. He takes care of the yard, I’ll keep the house clean and cook. I love that. He dresses and presents very straight and masculine, I get my nails done and haven’t worn any men’s clothing for almost two months now. My heart skips a beat when he calls me his wife. We get together with a vers couple, they have a completely different relationship dynamic, it’s worked for them for over 20 years, it’s beautiful as well. I think you have to do what works in and out of the bedroom.

[remington12369]

100% bottom. Used to be vers, but getting into crossdressing and assuming the "feminine" role gave and continues to give me a release from responsibilities and a freedom to be in the moment and abandon all the daily bullshit. Now that I'm older and obviously less attractive the dressing is far less important but being on the bottom continues to fulfills all my needs including needing to give my partner a good ride.

I agree 100% that a larg part of being a bottom is the release from the responsibilities of being the bread winner, business owner, and patriarch . I've taken care of myself and others all my life now my lover takes care of me. He buys me things, opens doors for me, pays for meals together. Thays why I give him my body for pleasure!

[Neonaught]

I'm a married bi top man. I tried the bottom role a few times but it really does little for me. I'd much rather fuck him than get fucked. To thine own self be true!

[needalittle05]

would have to say Top here, my reason is because haven't found anyone that I enjoyed enough to to me but will continue searching waiting to see if I will enjoy being fucked

[KDaddy23]

I've always been versatile - it's the way I grew up having sex with guys. In our crew that I call The Band of Horny Brothers, the "rule" was if I suck your dick, you suck mine; if I fuck you, you fuck me. We made an exception for the only effeminately gay - and a total bottom - guy in the crew and while he didn't mind getting his dick sucked, he always wanted to be the one getting fucked. Any guy who didn't want to comply with this rule wasn't allowed to hang with us... unless they changed their mind.

I've never seen a reason to not be versatile; without offense, I find just being a top or a bottom to be limiting and doesn't really bring the "full" M2M experience to the fore. I know that I got/get kicked to the curb because of my versatility and I've always felt that some guys don't really understand what being vers means, i.e., I can top or bottom and while I grew up doing both in the same session (most of the time), I tended to scare tops who thought that I was going to fuck them and bottoms who thought I was going to make them fuck me. After a while - and going through some shit with this whole top/bottom mess, I remain versatile, willing and able to go both ways but I am - and probably have been - more oral than that much into fucking or being fucked.

When I need to be fucked, I get fucked; when I want to stretch a guy's hole out, it's gonna happen. And, yeah, if a guy doesn't suck dick, it's a deal breaker for me because if you wanna be picky about what you want to do, I can play the game, too - and I've been playing it a very long time.

[csreef]

In my younger days I was a Top....

Now that I'm older, I'm probably more Vers than anything...

[licyou69]

I love having a cock inside me and I love making a man cum. I enjoy the feelings of submissiveness, femininity, and sexual intimacy I receive from being a bottom and providing a man with his sexual pleasure. I'm not interested in topping or vers because the feelings of submissiveness and femininity aren't a part of it for me.

[querty]

I'm Verse for sure as I have experienced both topping and bottoming and enjoyed each very much. I love being fucked by a capable experienced guy. If you said I can only pick one for the evening, that would depend on my partner's cock. If it's some sorta monster, I'll go top because even though it's an exciting erotic idea to be fucked by such a glorious cock, I know it won't be comfortable.


My current fuck buddy has the perfect sized cock for me (and I will be seeing him in a few weeks!). Interestingly, over time he has become more excited to top me vs. the other way around (though he still loves me to fuck him). Might have something to do with the outfits I wear for him. But I always return the favor.


All this after we spend a few hours sucking cock. We both prefer long slow oral, vs jacking on each other furiously.

[KDaddy23]

I'm Verse for sure as I have experienced both topping and bottoming and enjoyed each very much. I love being fucked by a capable experienced guy. If you said I can only pick one for the evening, that would depend on my partner's cock. If it's some sorta monster, I'll go top because even though it's an exciting erotic idea to be fucked by such a glorious cock, I know it won't be comfortable.


My current fuck buddy has the perfect sized cock for me (and I will be seeing him in a few weeks!). Interestingly, over time he has become more excited to top me vs. the other way around (though he still loves me to fuck him). Might have something to do with the outfits I wear for him. But I always return the favor.


All this after we spend a few hours sucking cock. We both prefer long slow oral, vs jacking on each other furiously.

A long time ago now, someone asked me how I decide to "be the man" or to "be the girl" in a sexual situation with a guy and before the Internet and WWW came along, it was me and him talking about what we liked and didn't like, what we felt like doing, and once we quickly came to an agreement on who was doing what, we'd get it on but mostly, it depended - and still depends - on how I'm feeling and with the understanding that I have been known to change my mind and learning how Mr. Murphy - of Murphy's Law infamy - could fuck things up, i.e., if I was looking to suck dick, I'd run into a guy who wanted to fuck me (and I wasn't feeling it or wasn't prepared for it) or I'd get all nice and clean and ready to be fucked silly and run into guys who weren't into fucking.

Having said that, being versatile... just works. It's like if you're gonna thumb your nose at the taboo and society's stupid attitude about men having sex, then you should experience all that's possible and being versatile will accomplish that.

I recall one of my first conversations with my protege and working through some stuff he had experienced regarding anal sex - and him telling me that (1) he was a top and (2) he would never let a guy fuck him. I laughed my ass off when he said that and told him that there will come a time and a day when he's going to want to be fucked and, of course, he didn't believe me. A week later, he's grudgingly telling me about his weekend and his experience being fucked by a guy with a big dick.

Today, he'll tell you that he's a top but he's really more versatile which he says has made him understand male bisexuality and sexuality a lot more.

[Footstep40]

Interesting points Kdaddy. I always appreciate your perspective. Giving the boot to someone for being vers is such a weird flex to me. I’ve obviously been with tops, vers and even a couple of bottoms can hook up and have an amazing time.

[DLazguy]

I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with being a top, bottom, or vers. I can appreciate a good bj from a guy. At this point in my life, I want to bottom. I want to feel the stretch from a big cock. I want him pump his load deep inside of me. I want to feel his cock in my mouth. Don't get me wrong, if I meet a guy with a smooth, firm ass and he wants me to fuck him, I'm going to fuck him. Pumping my cum into him is just as exciting as pumping my cum into a woman that isn't my wife. I love the excitement of being with someone that iI shouldn't be with and doing what I shouldn't be doing.

[chongster]

I'm versatile, most of the time I top. I love to fuck a hot smooth twink ass so tends to be the type of guys I look for and most are bottoms. I have been fucked by one guy and pegged by an old girlfriend, I did enjoy it at the time. I have also sucked cock and swallowed cum and enjoyed that. I guess it just depends on my mood at the time.

[KDaddy23]

Interesting points Kdaddy. I always appreciate your perspective. Giving the boot to someone for being vers is such a weird flex to me. I’ve obviously been with tops, vers and even a couple of bottoms can hook up and have an amazing time.

It is weird and it tells me how some guys are "institutionalized" into their role - top or bottom - and adamant about what they're 'never' going to do so when they find out that I can top and bottom - or top or bottom depending on some stuff going on with me - they get all weird and if I tell some tops that I won't be the only one sucking dick, that's a deal breaker; if I tell some bottoms that I'm going to suck them so much that they won't get hard again for a week, they get all weird and deal broken again.

I get it and it tends to result in neither of us busting a nut or two with each other and that's counterproductive. It's damned near the "prime reason" why I miss my good old days and a time where guys didn't care what they had to do to have sex with a guy as long as they were going to have sex. You should respect someone's boundaries and all that, but...

[MNBiGuy]

I say Vers but I love to bottom and give oral.

[marine20]

i do whatever gives me pleasure. i suck men , fuck men , men suck me , and sometimes men fuck me. i wish i could offer my ass to more men , but i need a small cock to fuck me. i dream of bending over and giving my slutty ass to men , but my man pussy can't take a big cock.

[fredward]

When I was starting out down the bi path, I also kept mainly to the "masculine" side of the street: I would gratefully accept sexual attention from other guys (esp. oral), but I didn't really want to reciprocate because it felt feminine and servile and submissive, and I didn't identify that way (and still don't). At the same time, I'm not into domination or any kind of aggressive play; it's just not me.

Eventually, I decided that there's a big world out there and I was probably missing out if I didn't try some of this. So I started blowing guys sometimes and I discovered I enjoyed making a guy cum and swallowing his load. And I discovered bottoming too (that took a while to get used to), but the hotness was in sharing an intimate physical act with another guy.

I'm still not into submission (or dominance). I don't want to wear women's underwear. I don't want to be humiliated or talked to that way. I find I prefer masc bi or gay men as partners. I enjoy engaging in physical acts with other like-minded guys, like some guys enjoy watching a football game together (I don't like football).

So I identify as "masc vers" except more of a bottom these days due to ED-related health issues.

[Fiddlestyx]

When I was starting out down the bi path, I also kept mainly to the "masculine" side of the street: I would gratefully accept sexual attention from other guys (esp. oral), but I didn't really want to reciprocate because it felt feminine and servile and submissive, and I didn't identify that way (and still don't). At the same time, I'm not into domination or any kind of aggressive play; it's just not me.

Eventually, I decided that there's a big world out there and I was probably missing out if I didn't try some of this. So I started blowing guys sometimes and I discovered I enjoyed making a guy cum and swallowing his load. And I discovered bottoming too (that took a while to get used to), but the hotness was in sharing an intimate physical act with another guy.

I'm still not into submission (or dominance). I don't want to wear women's underwear. I don't want to be humiliated or talked to that way. I find I prefer masc bi or gay men as partners. I enjoy engaging in physical acts with other like-minded guys, like some guys enjoy watching a football game together (I don't like football).

So I identify as "masc vers" except more of a bottom these days due to ED-related health issues.

My take is the same as yours. The one exception is I suppose that if I got involved with a guy who isn't into sucking or bottoming but could reliably fuck me to an incredible prostate orgasm I might be accepting enough about that... hah...

[Take.it.Easy]

I am vers, I love fucking and love to be fucked

[RICKCASV]

Re: Why are you a top, bottom, or vers?

I only have anal sex with another man if the chemistry is right. When I do have anal it is always as a bottom. I love the feeling of having a cock in my ass and of being fucked. I have never had any interest at all in topping another man.

[Maxxine]

I have played on both sides of the fence specially with women. However, when I am with a guy I have embraced being more on the submissive side. So much so that it has led me to crossdressing. I enjoy feeling femme and sensual and slutty all at once. I am into some aspects of kink and S&M. So I enjoy a guy being verbal and dominant with me and treat me like the slut that I can be. I get a real high out of it. For me being bottom or top is about the dynamics and not so much about the physical, meaning fucking or getting fucked. Is about who is the dominant and who is the submissive regardless of what actually happens physically.

[Johnyonenut]

I topped a guy many years ago and had anal sex with a high school girlfriend a few times so I would be very but as I am no longer capable of topping that only leaves one option. I have fantasized about being a bottom for many years and have had many enjoyable sessions with a dildo or homemade alternative but have never had the real thing. At my age and situation it will probably never happen but my dream is to be a submissive bottom for a kind and gentle man.

[Tag200]

I do struggle with these definitions and classifications of sex with men. I have never topped or bottomed and only done oral a few times. Up until very recently I never even would talk about anal sex give or take as it was of very little interest to me. However more recently as I seek out and ongoing play partner I thought having a daddy / mentor type to train me might be a good idea. And in my view thet would me submitting and having him fuck me and own me .After all my experience is minimal and in real life and also sex with women I am more neutral to dom depending the situation. So being a sub for men might be a nice way to be free from all that I carry as the family lead and career .. so I struggle with these definitions because if I am a sub for a daddy but I want my cock sicked and want to top (in theory) I guess I am Vers, but can you be sub and vers simultaneously?

[JustofromKenya]

I came to America hoping to completely embrace my identity and independence as a Black man who is homosexual and flexible. But I feel confined most of the time. I don't think the roles make any sense.They don't seem to represent true intimacy or mutuality, but rather serve as labels for others' comfort.

Sex was not taught to me in binary terms. I discovered that it should be inquisitive, sharing, and reciprocal. I'm not topping, but I can top. I'm not a "bottom," but I can bottom. Furthermore, it feels performative and limiting how those identities are firmly established here. Does my adaptability make people uncomfortable?Bottoms get defensive and tops become anxious, as though my presence contradicts the script they have internalized.

[JustofromKenya]

I really appreciate your honesty—it resonates a lot. Some of this does come down to chemistry, connection, and context. Labels like top, bottom, dom, sub, and vers can be helpful sometimes, but they can also box us in or add pressure to define ourselves in rigid ways that don’t reflect how we actually experience intimacy.

[CoupleInTheMiddle]

I do struggle with these definitions and classifications of sex with men. I have never topped or bottomed and only done oral a few times. Up until very recently I never even would talk about anal sex give or take as it was of very little interest to me. However more recently as I seek out and ongoing play partner I thought having a daddy / mentor type to train me might be a good idea. And in my view thet would me submitting and having him fuck me and own me .After all my experience is minimal and in real life and also sex with women I am more neutral to dom depending the situation. So being a sub for men might be a nice way to be free from all that I carry as the family lead and career .. so I struggle with these definitions because if I am a sub for a daddy but I want my cock sicked and want to top (in theory) I guess I am Vers, but can you be sub and vers simultaneously?

Agreed, I consider myself vers but I would consider myself 100% top or bottom in that moment.

[CoupleInTheMiddle]

I came to America hoping to completely embrace my identity and independence as a Black man who is homosexual and flexible. But I feel confined most of the time. I don't think the roles make any sense.They don't seem to represent true intimacy or mutuality, but rather serve as labels for others' comfort.

Sex was not taught to me in binary terms. I discovered that it should be inquisitive, sharing, and reciprocal. I'm not topping, but I can top. I'm not a "bottom," but I can bottom. Furthermore, it feels performative and limiting how those identities are firmly established here. Does my adaptability make people uncomfortable?Bottoms get defensive and tops become anxious, as though my presence contradicts the script they have internalized.

Yes, well said. Lately I have an incredible desire to have my legs spread and be taken as a woman. The feeling of femininity and submission would be wonderful. But I also would return the favor in a heartbeat. Does that make me vers? The term seems incomplete.