Ever had sex with your best friend and wondered what would happen to your friendship?

[NavySeaman]

I had fantasized about sex with my best friend who is 6'1" with redish grey hair 140lbs. With sexy baby blue eyes. One night he spends the night at my house after drinking a few beers too many. Later in the evening he tells me to come over to him and stick my dick in his mouth. He lives with a woman and is more or less in the closet. He spends the night again two weeks later and it's more mutual oral sex, then he asked to fuck me and I ran to get the lube. I value his friendship as I know we don't have a chance for a long term relationship while he is in the closet. Are we just FHF friends helping friends or lovers under cover?

What say yee?

[Neonaught]

I had fantasized about sex with my best friend who is 6'1" with redish grey hair 140lbs. With sexy baby blue eyes. One night he spends the night at my house after drinking a few beers too many. Later in the evening he tells me to come over to him and stick my dick in his mouth. He lives with a woman and is more or less in the closet. He spends the night again two weeks later and it's more mutual oral sex, then he asked to fuck me and I ran to get the lube. I value his friendship as I know we don't have a chance for a long term relationship while he is in the closet. Are we just FHF friends helping friends or lovers under cover?

What say yee?

He sounds like one of my roommates when I was in the Navy overseas. He as a smoking hot Twink and came off as gay to me and the one time I saw him nude, his cock was beautiful (and BIG!). I never aced on my bi desires with him as I was deeply closeted at the time. I sure wish I had though!

Your situation sounds more like the FHF variety. As long as you both enjoy it and no one gets hurt, I see no harm here. Get him while you can!

[KDaddy23]

The best friends I've had - and we'd had sex - remained best friends until their passing. More like FHF although I suspected with a couple of them that they'd always wondered if they could have sex with me since they knew I was bi but it was never confirmed because it didn't matter. I would say that our friendship was that strong that, sure, it could survive us having sex and, apparently, each of those guys thought so as well. Until we wound up having sex, there was nothing we didn't know about each other; through thick and thin; we laughed together, cried together, had each other's back and in non-sexual ways, seen each other naked many times. One had asked, one day, "If we, say, sucked each other off, that wouldn't be a bad thing, would it, you know, since we're friends?

I never believed that friends couldn't have sex with each other. I just asked him if he was sure that he wanted to do this and he said that he was... so we did. If nothing else, it deepened the bond we'd already had. They all knew that if they were in "dire straits" and needed to bust a nut or two or three, all they had to do was ask or I'd ask them... because I just wanted to have sex with them. I agree with Neonaught: As long as you both enjoy it and no one gets hurt, it's all good and, yeah, get him and enjoy each other while you can!

[Long Duck Dong]

Yes I have had sex with friends......in fact my partner is somebody I have been friends with, for around 30 years, and we are still friends as well as partners....we are also in a closed group with 2 females and another male, who are friends with benefits, and yes our friendships have grown stronger because of the continued sexual and non sexual interaction....

I have never been a person who has abided by the rule of of exes can not be friends after the relationships end.... or that flatmates / room mates can not fuck and still live seperate lives.....

[Buck Naked]

I had a friend that I definitely wanted to suck but due to losing a friend previously after mutual masturbation I was afraid to ask. What I want appears to be unobtainium, i.e. a friend I can suck with no strings, no emotions, and no complications.

[Tight1-4u]

I say yes best friends can have sex and remain friends.. I have a few times over the years had friends that I have had sex with.. we are still friends.. we still talk and give each other shit all the time.. one guy in particular was a life long friend from my teen years.. we went to school together.. he never knew that I was queer.. later on after I went through my transitioning to female and back.. i ran into him quite by chance one day.. we chatted and exchanged numbers.. he later that evening he called me and started telling me about his life and the struggles he had been through.. loosing his wife and kids do to his life style ( being bi ) I ask him why he told me about all that?? He just said that he trusted me and felt like he could talk to me.. we started hanging out and grew closer and closer.. he would come and stay at my place now and then.. the one night we were drinking and smoking weed and he got up and took off his close and said I want to have sex with you!!! How dose that make you feel?? I just looked at him and said horny!! And laughed.. he looked at me funny and said what?? I told him I had been waiting for him to ask!! I told him I was bi too but leaned pretty hard on my gay side.. that if we had sex he would have to fuck me.. and he did quite often for about 2 years.. then work took him away.. he would come see me every chance he got.. but time and distance work their magic.. I haven’t seen him in over a year.. but still hear from him now and then..

[DD788Snipe]

I lost mine because I came out to him. We had really good sex but he was more afraid of what other friends might find out than of our friendship. Those of you that know me are familiar with my story. I'll repeat it if some of you want me too. It's a precautionary true story.

[Tight1-4u]

I lost mine because I came out to him. We had really good sex but he was more afraid of what other friends might find out than of our friendship. Those of you that know me are familiar with my story. I'll repeat it if some of you want me too. It's a precautionary true story.

yes please retell!!

[bobby63114]

Would love to hear about that.

[park ave]

I had sex with my best friend, and we remained very close friends until his passing. I detailed our first time together, if anyone is interested, in another post under 'Have you ever been seduced?' (He took me by completely by surprise by seducing me one night.)

If anything, having had sex made us even closer, as we shared an intimate secret. We were two straight guys in our twenties, chasing girls and having sex with them, but also sucking each other's cock. Plus we both enjoyed it. Of course this isn't gay! we'd tell ourselves lol. After all, we don't kiss or anything like that. But I have to say it was very exciting for me to open his shirt and run my hands over his sexy chest and lick and suck his nipples before I kissed my way down to his cock. He was more of the sub in our relationship, though, and sometimes I'd tell him I was coming by his apartment just to get my cock sucked. But of course that would frequently led to 69 lol. We also shared stories of the other guys we had been with, the first time I had ever told anyone about my bi encounters (he started younger than I did, which was very hot to hear about.)

We drifted apart in our thirties through marriage and distance, etc., and we never got together again, although we remained friends until his passing.

[KDaddy23]

I lost mine because I came out to him. We had really good sex but he was more afraid of what other friends might find out than of our friendship. Those of you that know me are familiar with my story. I'll repeat it if some of you want me too. It's a precautionary true story.

Yeah, a few of the friends I had sex with were more worried about everyone else finding out that we did than any damage to our friendship... but I understood that since one of the things to be worried about was someone else finding out and all kinds of shit happening. Still, I lost friends and usually without us having sex. My sexuality shocked them, probably offended them, and for the longest time, no guy wanted to be associated with a guy who was presumed to be gay. I learned that... this is life. Move on.

With the guys I had sex with but they were pretty paranoid about it, the sex was good but it made the friendship edgy because they remained paranoid that what we were doing was something everybody knew and I had to tell them that when I promised not to tell, I wasn't telling so if someone found out, it wouldn't be due to them finding out from me. I'd say that the friendships with these guys, on the whole, took a tiny step backward but, yeah, if they needed to bust a nut, they didn't have a problem coming to me for it and as long as they weren't acting like idiots, I didn't have a problem accommodating them. Families moving broke up a lot of the friendships I had with guys who didn't mind that we would have sex but I learned that if they were going to be paranoid about it, it's not my problem.

[KDaddy23]

park ave said, "If anything, having had sex made us even closer, as we shared an intimate secret."

This was pretty much how it went with the male friends I had sex with between the ages of 14 and, oh, 25 or so. We became closer because we shared that secret. And, yeah, some of them would be eager to have sex but saying that it's not really gay. A lot of those guys were, in today's terms, bottoms. "Is it weird that I want you to fuck me?" No, I didn't find it weird at all but if that's what you want to do, okay. Some were more versatile and like I was so we "basked" in our shared secret and there was comfort in knowing that, sure, we loved the shit out of girls but we had an intimacy that was special to us. Oddly, I wasn't friends with many tops; maybe one or two when I was in my 20s but we had an understanding: I wasn't going to be the only one sucking dick and getting fucked so if that bothers you, then maybe we shouldn't have sex - but we can still be friends.

[darkeyes]

My best friend and I did in December after quarter of a century.. Things are not as either of us imagined them since we have learned so much about each other we never knew and believed there were no secrets. Trust me.. Between us at least there were many...We have become more close as friends, and are finding out why we always have been besties!. There was a price to pay, but we paid our dues with sadness. What will happen in future who can tell. There is so much can and will happen and we can't know with certainty what until life passes us by... It is an adventure and I look forward to how that adventure pans out for better or worse!!

[BiProbeBabe]

I’ve had sex with a few close friends, one in high school we remain close friends today. Two from college, but I have not kept in touch. I had great relationship with a coworker, we are still friends. They all remain in my fantasy rotations. Good times.

[BackyardShaman]

I can’t say best but I’ve had bi sex with a few good friends over the years and wondered if it was going to cause problems. So far it was not ever a problem for any of them and made us closer as friends.

[DD788Snipe]

yes please retell!!

Well to those of you that are Navy, you've already figured out by my screen name I'm a vet. My best buddy that I met, worked and shared an apt with when I came onboard my first ship of 40 years. I'll try to keep this short. Like I said some of you know this story so I don't want to bore you with a repeat. We were tight. After we both got out we went separate ways for a while but stayed in touch. He got married while we were still in and I got married about 10 years after. When I enlisted I shoved my bi side so deep in the closet no one could find it. Back in those days you were walked out the back door with a D.D. if command found out. I got hit on every so often but politely said no.
Fast fwd 35 years and now we're both in our late 50s. He and his wife divorce (btw I've known her for just as long and we're still friends). He grew up in Cape Cod. Always wanted to live on a boat so his wife buys him out of their house and he purchases a 42? trawler and moves onboard in Southern California. I'm jazzed. He gives me the keys to the marina and his boat. I'm going down at least once a month. Hangin out drinking beer and just enjoying his man cave and giving me a break from my job and the wife. This was about the time my bi urges started to awaken but I suppressed them and I hadn't ever thought about hitting on him and he's a good looking guy but I guess at the time I just didn't see him in that way.
One night we'd been out to our favorite bar with friends. Got back to the boat I was so horny that night. We smoked some pot. I turned to him and said just that and to my amazement he said he was too. So I said where's your porn. Figuring we could at least do a mutual jack off session but my true intentions was to see how far he'd go with me.
So that worked out and we started talking. Found out he'd had a room mate at his first duty station that was gay. Things progressed to where he was fucking me everytime I would go to his boat. I loved it. For a short guy he has a huge cock. I learned how to relax and let him pound my ass.
We had great FWB thing going on and none of our friends had a clue. Well a couple of them did but they never asked. He was always worried that someone would find out. The only one I was worried about was my wife but she never went there with me or hung with our friends so I wasn't too concerned. All of a sudden the dynamic seemed to change. I just thought he was in one of his moods so I didn't worry too much about it.
Then I went to his boat one weekend. We went to dinner just the two of us. When we got back to his boat smoked some pot. All of a sudden he turn into this asshole that I'd never seen. Well l'd seen him act like that to other people but not me. He just lit into me like I was this terrible person and we couldn't do this anymore. I was in shock so I just clammed up. I was destroyed. I went to bed. I got up the next morning before him packed all my stuff I had on his boat and left. I think one of our friends in the marina said something that he took the wrong way and he became paranoid. I thought that things would settle out and maybe we could talk it out but every time I would contact him he was just plain nasty. We really were best friends. I would have taken a bullet for that guy and I mean that. I signed my half of the boat back over to him and we haven't talked since that night 6 years ago. I still miss him.
Now I've had sex a couple of times with another friend but he knows this story and he was friends with him too but we've set boundaries and he's married. But that's another story.
A 40 year friendship just thrown away. It still boggles my mind because those are far and few in-between especially a FWB.

Sorry this is so long and it's too late to proof read so sorry for the mistake.

[Jozyxt]

I fairly recently acknowledged my bi side as being integral and started having sex with men.

I have two friends that I would enjoy having sex with but am unsure if they would be receptive or how it would damage the relationships. When you have a decades long shared hetero identity in a relationship, it is hard to change roles. I make what I call "self-inclusive homo jokes" with them but neither has responded to them in a way that I consider to be an invitation to move on.

[KDaddy23]

Most of the male friends I've had sex with handled it well; some couldn't - guilt, shame, and very worried about others finding out. You just can't know what's going to happen in these things. One such friend and I were talking and he was throwing hints at me and I said, "If you want us to blow each other, just say so - damn, we've been friends too long to be playing games." We did. The next day, he said we couldn't be friends anymore. I got miffed and said, "So you're going to throw our friendship away because you couldn't handle something that you wanted to do? I thought you were better than that but if this is your decision, just go; maybe one day, after you finish growing up, you'll realize the mistake you made."

He didn't and we talked about it... but I knew why he'd had this change of heart; he couldn't handle the change in his sexuality. It happens; it doesn't always go well which is why I am often amazed that when a guy wants to get into having sex with men, the first person many look to is... a friend. But it makes sense: If you can't have sex with a friend and someone who knows you well, who are you supposed to have sex with?

[csreef]

I've never had sex with my best friend.

[SilkyHoseLover]

I've never had any type of sex with someone who was a real-life friend first. That's only happened with 'lifestyle' friends that we've met since we started experimenting with various kinks.

If my actual best friend knew of my proclivities, it would probably be disastrous. I'd love to be able to blow him while we hang out to watch football, because -- well, he's a great guy and I like to suck cock. Probably not a good idea, though... He's a typical 'guy' and talks about naked women and getting his cock sucked. But I know he wouldn't want to be blown by another male.

[DD788Snipe]

Most of the male friends I've had sex with handled it well; some couldn't - guilt, shame, and very worried about others finding out. You just can't know what's going to happen in these things. One such friend and I were talking and he was throwing hints at me and I said, "If you want us to blow each other, just say so - damn, we've been friends too long to be playing games." We did. The next day, he said we couldn't be friends anymore. I got miffed and said, "So you're going to throw our friendship away because you couldn't handle something that you wanted to do? I thought you were better than that but if this is your decision, just go; maybe one day, after you finish growing up, you'll realize the mistake you made."

He didn't and we talked about it... but I knew why he'd had this change of heart; he couldn't handle the change in his sexuality. It happens; it doesn't always go well which is why I am often amazed that when a guy wants to get into having sex with men, the first person many look to is... a friend. But it makes sense: If you can't have sex with a friend and someone who knows you well, who are you supposed to have sex with?

You know KDaddy you never fail to amaze me. I think you hit the proverbial nail squarely on the head. That makes perfect sense. Looking back at that long friendship and some of the things that I witnessed in his working relationships and friendships. Now one thing or really a couple of things that I'll add to it. I had friends when we were in the Navy that knew him to. They would ask me how I could be good friends and share an apartment with "that asshole". I have friends now that ask the same question. I understand why. One other thing is the day this happened I called his ex-wife to let her know what had transpired the night before. As far as I know, she didn't know about the sex between us but who knows? She says to me "well I'm sorry and that's why we're not together anymore". So there it is.
As far as that so called friend that did that to you he's not worthy of your friendship. That's my take. I did give my buddy the chance to explain and maybe repair the relationship but when he rebuffed me I washed my hands and walked.
Thank you my friend. Your knowledge and experience is always welcome.
To the OP, just be careful is all I can say brother.

[KDaddy23]

DD788Snipe, that he did that didn't hurt my feelings; it just pissed me off. By the time this happened, I'd had a few male friends do this 180 on me; the first time, it hurt badly but as it kept happening, it stopped hurting and I became... indifferent. You asked for this; practically begged for it. Told you what you were asking for and you went for it anyway. Not my fault you had a crisis over it (but I told you that might happen). Just go. In this situation, what I said - and the tone of my voice - must've got through to him and he needed to talk about it. This episode with him had me changing what I said to a guy - friend or not - who wanted to experience this: If this fucks with you, come talk to me. This guy was afraid that now he's gay. Pretty much the same as the other friends I had sex with and they bailed. We're adults - act like one. You didn't think about being gay as we slurped on each other's dicks; you swallowed cum just like I did.

It's all fun and games until someone busts a nut. Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it. Many guys think they can handle this and a lot of friends are sure that their friendship is strong enough to do this and survive it... then they find out otherwise. I wanted to know why; then I found out some stuff that's related to the dreaded blow and go and the psychological impact that says, "My god... what did I just do and why did I do it? Am I gonna be gay now?" Brains ditch logic and common sense and emotions take over. Bad juju.

Being sexual with a friend makes sense; he's the devil you know but what you won't know is how it affects him after the fact - and a lot of guys hide it and if you notice it (and you should), you gotta drag it out of them. Look, bottom line is... it's just sex. I'd rather have sex with a friend I know that someone I have to learn some shit about. But, be an adult about this. Some friends didn't handle their first time all that well. We talked. The friendship and sex continued. Some couldn't handle it and bye-bye friendship. It sucks... but I live in the real world and I can't have a friend who can't live in the real world with me.

[DD788Snipe]

Yep, those funny little things like emotions and perception. When I was young dumb and stupid those were issues but I'm a senior adult now and so are my friends. Just goes to show that not everyone grows up if you know what I mean.

[Tinydinkle1970]

I’ve sucked off a few of my friends, all married and said they are straight.

[pete7]

in my case everything changed and we went our own ways

[KDaddy23]

I once had a friend who was literally begging me to have sex with him. I knew his situation and knew him very well but he was one of those friends who "didn't qualify" as someone I'd have sex with. I kept putting him off; I used every "scare tactic" I knew of to dissuade him; I told him that it was my firm belief that if we did this, our friendship would be over - and he'd be the one to kill it - because he couldn't convince me otherwise. He was in very dire straits, though; a series of unfortunate events freight-trained him: His mom died; he lost his job; his woman dumped him, his car got repossessed and he was headed deep into bad places. I had asked him, "Why me?" and he said that, one, he knew that I was into sucking dick and, two, since most of the other friends he had were turning their backs on him, I was the only one he could trust. I'd asked him why he thought having sex with me would set him right and he said, "It's all I have left to hang onto, man."

What are friends for? This kept echoing in my head; he was in great distress and some people make mistakes in this condition but what do I do? Turn my back on him and like others had or... do this and hope that it gets him back in a good space? Well, I don't leave my friends in a lurch if there's something I can do. We did it. All of it despite him being new to this. Honestly, he was... amazing. Responsive. Took to it all and, I felt, out of a great sense of desperation. I saw him the next day and he was so different and upbeat. And ended our friendship and as I knew he would. His "excuse" was pretty lame; he was leaving the state to seek his fortunes elsewhere. I said fine; it was nice knowing him. He never left the state but he would say that he couldn't be friends with me because of the way I made him feel that day; he said it did make him feel better but now his feelings were confused, he had a thing for me now, and it was better to not be friends.

I was okay with it. Better that than to see him going down a path that he wouldn't have been able to recover from. Sometimes, I've lost a friend like this but it turned out for the better for them.

[papasmurph]

some men just can't separate what feels good, as it is supposed to feel, otherwise why would we want to have sex with someone - it does things to us in so many ways... they enjoy the moment, then they let all the other stuff roll over them. They start playing the negative tapes in their head - it's too bad, really.
I guess I am made up differently than some guys.
If I have sex with you, I've made a connection with you. I've shared a piece of myself with you and you've shared a piece of yourself with me. In my opinion you can't get much closer to another person - even if you don't say a damn word - than when you have sex with them.
Some guys get all up and bothered over it afterward. They start worrying about god knows what and then they let something beautiful become ruined by their own silly view on things.
A best friend is the last person on earth that ought to respond that way to you after you have broken that barrier and become that intimate together - but what do I know? Seriously.

[csreef]

I've never had sex with my best friend.

Also my best friend's sister once made not so subtle hints how unsatisfied her husband was making her. . . .I didn't peruse it because if found out, a lot of people would be hurt.

[DMercator]

When I went to my 25th high school reunion I found out that one of my oldest friends and past roommates was gay. Over the next couple of years we reconnected and renewed our friendship. He made it clear he would love to get with me, but I was married and wouldn't play without a greenlight from my wife. Long story short, my wife and I went through a bad patch and she gave me a pass to take care of my sexual needs (she just didn't want to hear about it). For me it was a chance to go balls deep into man-on-man sex.

At the time, I just thought of gay sex in terms of sex. I took it as a given that a heterosexual affair with a woman had a potential to get emotional and complicated. I foolishly didn't consider the same would apply to a gay relationship. In my mind, gay men were horn dogs just looking for cock. It was a simple, uncomplicated equation. But that's not how it played out.

What was sex for me, was something more for my friend. In the end, he had romantic feelings toward me that I could not reciprocate. I should have recognized what was happening, but I was enjoying the sex and it just didn't occur to me that he was reading more into the relationship than I was. While I'm not responsible for his feelings, if I hadn't been so focused on the sex, I would have seen it coming. I think that's the first time I really understood being gay wasn't just about sex and just how shallow my my stereo typed view of gay men really was.

We remained close friends up to the day he passed away last year, but it was a painful scar that didn't ever quite heal between us. I don't regret our playing together, but I do regret being so thoughtless in regards to the emotional consequences of my actions. If you play with a friend, go into it knowing that it may have unintended consequences for better or worse.

[tommyswing]

i tried this with a friend when I was 19. I wasn't attracted to him, but i was curious, because I did have the desire from time to time. We ended up super drunk and sucked each others cock. it killed our friendship, I found i loved to suck cock, I found it so erotic and beautiful. At the time I could not handle it. If that came up today I could handle ti and enjoy it.