I see lots of men who identify themselves as bottoms. I guess I could fall into this category, but, I wouldn't hesitate to give a partner what he wanted to please him. I am just open to all pleasure between 2 men and see it as equal, not a 1 sided role thing.So, why isnt there lots of guys that are both?
It's quite common for a M to be one or the other and while many can make exceptions to any rule there are 'tops' that will never 'bottom' and vice versa. The third side to this is whats known as a 'versatile' a.k.a. 'switch' which as the name suggests is happy with either role. Personally speaking I am a switch and insist in that trait as well in those I play with.
I would consider myself bottom on both oral and anal, I do like to service male or female, make them feel good, let them relax and enjoy the session, if they wish to let me orgasm then good. but there orgasm is my first concern....
i mostly top but will switch and bottom if the guy wants too
Would be great to be versa and enjoy it both ways. But that's not how the cookie crumbles for many.
Awww poor babba Gear... don't top yasel ova it..wud h8 ya in box at bottom of a hole.. so common..Originally Posted by Gearbox
Would be great to be versa and enjoy it both ways. But that's not how the cookie crumbles for many.
Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.
Thanks sweet thing. Hope your not waving your 11" strap on around when you type that?Awww poor babba Gear... don't top yasel ova it..wud h8 ya in box at bottom of a hole.. so common..Baby steps Fran! BABY STEPS!lol
I will bottom or top ,depends on what both are wanting
Am only little gear.. wot other kind of steps can a girl take when sporting such a thing? The 11" strap on is more often waved by one who is a few inches taller and whose family nick name is not Midge...Thanks sweet thing. Hope your not waving your 11" strap on around when you type that?
Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.
You maybe too young to remember the song "Jake the peg".I think I'd have to succumb to you Fran if I saw you dragging that thing along the floor my way. I'd be too weak to move.LOL!
Your perfect as you are!
I know the song gear.. me dad used 2 sing it as a party piece.. wos always in hysterics... he made it ver suggestive n filthy... God... used 2 gimme such a red face wen me wos wee. well wee'er... tee hee.. but I reckon u have the idea..You maybe too young to remember the song "Jake the peg".
Your perfect as you are!
Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.
I remember being uncertain as to the top and bottom scenario. I didn't know if it only applied to anal or oral too. If I could get away with it, I'd be an oral top only. Fair seems to be fair though and I give what I get. I usually say I'm not a bottom when asked (usually they seem to want to know about anal).
Flippancy tenni soz... we wer in pub last weekend watchin' 2 gay guys gettin it on strong... awwww... not long b4 we left 1 pushed away the table an drinks wer sent everywer.. 'e stood up and sed ver agitated like "I dont give a toss that ur not a bottom but u are a f***in' arse!!" an stomped off.. soz can't say wy the luffers tiff.. just thought the words ver funny at the time..
Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.
Ya...I think that there is so much more fun to get into than being so focused on top/bottom.
Never in all my experience with my ties to the bi/gay scene have I ever heard the terminology top/bottom to mean anything other than anal sex positions till I read it in this thread. "oral" top or "oral" bottom makes me LOL
Someone needs to get out more. They're actual true and valid terms and lots of men use them and describe their sexuality this way for types of sex besides anal sex only. I heard about oral tops and oral bottoms when I was a teenager and looking at porn published for bisexual and gay men. I've had relationships with men who are total oral bottoms and they did not want to get sucked off at all. I'm an oral top and I like to get sucked off by men and women. I'm not that into anal sex and the only time I ever did it was with a male partner and I was a top then too. I also have topped men and women who were subs or bottoms when I consensually restrained them and whipped them.Never in all my experience with my ties to the bi/gay scene have I ever heard the terminology top/bottom to mean anything other than anal sex positions till I read it in this thread. "oral" top or "oral" bottom makes me LOL
No worries, I never said anyone was wrong for their choice in terminology only that in 25+ years never till today had I heard the terms applied to oral sex. My post was commentary in nature not critical.
I have seen it quite a bit, Bayou, as divided between oral and anal. Never anything more though.Never in all my experience with my ties to the bi/gay scene have I ever heard the terminology top/bottom to mean anything other than anal sex positions till I read it in this thread. "oral" top or "oral" bottom makes me LOL
- Falcon -
Wherever you go ... there you are.
Be yourself ... Everyone else is taken.
Any day you dont learn something new is a wasted day.
From such few as I've encountered, it seems (to me, based on limited experience) to be connected with personality. The outgoing, enterprising, and "aggressive" are the tops, and the passive and submissive are bottoms. I've got a friend who is a bottom, and when taking stock of his character, it would be no surprise.
Yes I would agree that your experience is very limited. What you wrote in your post however is not true, and it is based on very bad homophobic and biphobic myths and stereotypes about bisexual and gay men and cultural baggage about how straight people think we have sex or how we act during sex. There are a lot of bottoms who are not passive or submissive, and who are aggressive. There are tops who are very passive and even submissive. A man's personality, appearance, body language, or character has nothing to do with if he's a top, bottom, or versatile for certain types of sex between men.
Last edited by BiDaveDtown; May 12, 2012 at 5:34 PM.
I think it's fairly common for a man to be either a top, bottom, or verse. I for one am primarily a bottom when with men; it's not that I can't top, but I like to be more submissive. About the only time that's not true is if the partner is a good deal younger than I am and topping feels more natural in that case. YMMV.
I enjoy kissing, touching, licking, body contact, mutual oral, toyplay and mild kink-fetish things with men in much the same way as I enjoy them with women and in 3somes with mf couples and mm couples. Those things feel natural to me with women and men, but intercourse only feels natural to me with women. I have no desire for anal sex, giving or getting, with men. The idea of bottoming or topping or "going all the way" with a man simply does not appeal to me. I've enjoyed pleasing women anally in the past, but it really was not among the things I preferred to do sexually with women. Perhaps it carries over to men as well LOL I do enjoy doing women and men anally with toys, and I have been involved (and VERY turned on) in mmm 3somes...with 2 men having anal intercourse as I participated orally, manually and sensually.
I wonder where this leaves me in the bi spectrum? LOL.
'we'(the users of gay hook up sites) know use a more Kinsey approach on our profiles to describe the 'Lego Love Lock' or 'fucking' as it is more commonly known.
You can now choose from 5 options, these are (in order of from top to bottom)
Top
Top/vers
Vers
Btm/vers
Btm
You can also decline to state 'rather not say' or 'ask me' although interestingly there is no option to say you don't enjoy fucking at all.
This field on many gay websites is listed under 'role' which is a bit misleading primarily because it confuses sex with sensIbililty.
Does what you do during sex define who you are in general?
For men with emasculation fears it can often be a safety card to play by claiming they are 'top' as if that One word is a safety flare to prevent the loss of a link to their conditioned gender role normalacy forever. I've played it many a time... But also because some bttms can make it feel so damn good to play eg you can't have yin without yang.
Eroticisation of tops can also be linked to issues around the hierarchy of masculinity and the roles of men within the world of male sexuality.
Tops are sometimes prized as the authentic 'fuck experience' though more by demand than design - there are certainly men who have created and nutured that role to get that authentic 'fuck' experience. The problem (?) with meaningless sex is that it carries with it too much meaning these days. if you want an NSA shag it's often easier to choose a default theme rather than create a bespoke one.
very rarely do I want to give it all up and be ravaged by a guy, but if I do it's usually because they don't seem to be on an auto pilot mode and they make me laugh like a loon. Ill do anything you want if youre funny.
Also I think it's a lot less complicated to fuck then to be fucked. Sheer laziness has restricted my true versatility.
Top or bottom re: oral? makes no sense to me.. Can someone explain the differentiation here? Does it refer to where you initially place your tongue on an erect penis before you gobble it up?
Last edited by dafydd; May 17, 2012 at 12:30 AM.
"I like the pole & the hole."
Being a "total Bottom ", I can only speak for myself. My earliest encounters with guys were at an early age, with older men who only wanted to Top me. I found I really enjoyed being the one to submit myself to a man, and have only wanted to Bottom since. I can quite honestly say that I have never desired to Top anyone (guy), no more than most women would want to Top a guy(though there are exceptions to that,lol). Maybe it's a mental thing!
It's simple. For oral sex: Top=Guy getting sucked off. Bottom=cock sucker. Versatile=loves to 69 with another man.
Oh do you darkeyes, do you know the song? Well why don't you play it to him in PERSON?I know the song gear.. me dad used 2 sing it as a party piece.. wos always in hysterics... he made it ver suggestive n filthy... God... used 2 gimme such a red face wen me wos wee. well wee'er... tee hee.. but I reckon u have the idea..
You and "gear" and the song. Maybe you could have an evening of songs... Karaoke style. He knows all the lines to the greatest love songs. Off. Bi. Heart.
You could even use his microphone and just hum along if you're unable to SINg!
"I like the pole & the hole."
Now it's a little known fact that Einstein set to work on solving this confusion back in the 30's, as it was causing a kerfuffle amongst the staff at his local book store.
Einsteincock.jpg
Some would argue that the 'giver of head' was indeed the top, as they were the 'giver' and the 'blown' was the 'receiver'. Some would rebut with the theory that the 'top' is the one who uses his penis though no matter what. This caused a void specification on rimming and cunnilingus though, where a giver & receiver were present, and the tongue took the 'active tool' used.
To add to the confusion, it was noted by one staff member Joey, a rather profound observer of Human nature, that the 'receiver' of head was often heard exclaiming from the in-store cubicle to be "Fucking your face!". Therefore reversing the 'giver'&'receiver' roles.
After many hours on that wet Thursday afternoon, it was agreed that the subject is one of confusion and it should be left as that. But debates still went on for many decades none the less.
Surely if the 'oral top' is the one in control of dicktating, then I'd say any guy who places his willy inside a mouth full of teeth, he is definitely not the one in ultimate control, and should be considered entirely at the mercy of the head giver, the true merciful 'top'.
Also if you've ever had 69 where you're the one lying beneath (not sideways) it is in no way a versatile experience.
G I think you meant that the guy who is fucking face is the 'giver' not the 'receiver'-in the same sense that the lollipop doesn't suck your mouth or that an ass doesn't give you a good backing onto.
I guess this is all just semenantics though.
D
Last edited by dafydd; May 17, 2012 at 10:20 AM.
"I like the pole & the hole."
Love both ways.....
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