How does it make you feel when people say that bisexuals don't exist?

**transcendMental** · Jan 30, 2010, 3:34 PM

Originally Posted by fred fencesitter

The only people who say this on a regular basis (beyond the occasional quack scientist) are catty gay men and women who have been married to gay men. But, boy, does it get under my skin when they do. And I know how much damage it's done to me in my life. I had years as a "straight" man trying to deny my feelings for men. Then I had years as a "gay" man trying to deny my feeling for women.

When people say that bisexuals don't really exist, it makes me feel about the same as when people say that transsexualism doesn't really exist: invalidated and misunderstood, like people are ignorant of biological reality, and like people cannot respect another person's subjective experience of reality if it differs from theirs.

Unfortunately, such people aren't limited to just catty gay men and women.

And yeah it gets under my skin too.

**djones** · Jan 30, 2010, 4:00 PM

How does it make me feel ?

Makes me feel like they are ignorant - that's for sure !

I also think they are jealous !

I try not to get too wrapped up in other people's ignorance, but it can get a little annoying after dealing with it so much. I never tell any of my friends in the gay community that I'm Bi - they seem to have the more restrictive view on the subject (not all, but a great many).

On the whole, I just shrug my shoulders and ignore the fools who doubt I exist as I am !

**thatcher29** · Jan 30, 2010, 4:07 PM

Sounds like the person quoted in #31 is someone with a bit of baggage from a past relationship. I'm guessing her boyfriend left her for a man. I doubt too many guys here would be accused of sex "in a purely mechanical way" with anybody. Well, I've always been attracted to underdogs and here I am in the "Underdog Sexuality"(TM pending). We get hit from both sides. But if I was concerned about what other people thought, I'd probably be in an entirely different (and much more boring) lifestyle. Idiots are everywhere. Don't let them bother you.

**Giggles100** · Jan 30, 2010, 4:13 PM

Well it looks like iv joined the club.....

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showt...d=1#post154128

**bistraightpat** · Jan 30, 2010, 4:34 PM

It bothers me a lot. I had a close friend ask me if I was really gay but just afraid to admit it. That kind of got to me. But then I remembered that I tried to bone that girl a week earlier so I realized I was bi haha

**void()** · Jan 30, 2010, 7:41 PM

Not to get psychological or philosophical but there might be a better question.

How is it supposed to make me feel?

And you might add:

Why should I feel anything over their opinion?

Point blank I can't waste time lost in throes of anxiety over someone's ignorance. I'm ignorant enough to occupy that time, thanks.

Besides I haven't any right to expect anything from anyone save for me. So why care if they agree or disagree?

But yes, I can understand getting irked about it. I can't get irked now, though. I've got better things in life more important than anger. A short list for you.

1. A wife that loves me.
2. A boyfriend that loves me. (These two are not in any particular order.)
3. Possibility of attending college for a two year degree in information tech systems.
4. A lovely houseboat on a vast lake somewhere awaiting for me.
5. The rivers.
6. The stars.

I could keep going but the idea is stated. Thanks for reading and run it slow.