Input needed

[ambi53mm]

...This is a question that has plagued my thoughts for some time. I have never come across a discusion within these threads...and maybe it doesn't belong here..hell maybe I don't belong here..but I have to try to at least get some feedback with the hope of a better understanding so I ask:

If someone’s ( male) only interest in same-sex activity or attraction is oral sex the giving and receiving and nothing more…would you consider this person a bisexual..or a hetrosexual with a (cock sucking fetish) and the difference ( if any )is?

Ambi

[rupertbare]

That person is bi!!

Although sexuality is a fluid thing - it is NOT fixed. Extensive reasearch over 50years has shown, as a for instance, that the majority of men go through a purely homosexual stage of three years (which could be a few months here and there over decades). They may never actually act on those impulses of course.

This could just be a fantasy - and the reality could be devastating if the person feels regret, shame, fear of being "found out" or revulsion at their actions.

Don't know if that helps at all but it's my :2cents:

Love and Peace to you

Rupe, London, UK.

[PeterH]

Hi Ambi,

you ask an interesting question. First of all: what being bi means to someone is a personal thing. If you feel it's a label that fits you, than you're bi.
If you look at it from a definition standpoint, then being bi is about feeling an attraction. If the attraction is a desire to have oral sex with men, and a more general desires towards women, It is still a case of attraction to both men and women, so I'd say it fits the definition. Being bi doesn't mean you have to like men and women in the same degree, or even in the same way.
Apart from that, one might look at why a person only wants oral. There may be many reasons why a person doesn't want more. It may be that the attraction is limited to just oral sex, perhaps there are also hidden attraction, that the person would not like to admit to himself. These hidden attractions (let's call them hidden abilities to enjoy) may include abilities to enjoy looking at men, to enjoy other sexual activities, or to enjoy a deep level of intimacy. But even if those attractions are there, a person may desire not to act on them. One might even be bi and decide to be celibate.
In the end it's all a matter of personal choice, about finding out what suits you, what you feel comfortable with, what's OK according to your standards. It's up to each person to decide what they want, with whom and when and how much... It's where theory ends and practise begins... And where I start to run out of answers :)
Good luck!

[jo69guy]

I would consider it a fetish, unless the person has emotional feelings for both sexes. However, any kind of sexual contact, with either sex, is still sexual contact, so I guess it could be argued that they are bi, or at least extremely bi-curious. Guess I'm rambling here....... :2cents:

[huneypot]

i would concider it BI
lots of BI people have very small percentage attraction to the opposite sex.
just my :2cents:
:)

[likalotapuss]

Bi Bi BiSexual!! Most definately....

~Ang

[rumple4skin]

Just my :2cents: I think oral sex is still sex :) I know at least one former president would disagree with me on this. If my only interest or attraction to men were mutual oral I would consider myself bi. I do not think that the type of sexual activity I engage in with the same sex makes a difference as to weather I am bi or not. Most of my activity with men has been oral. I do not think that I have to jump into a “lifestyle” to be bi. I like sex with women and I like sex with men. I try to keep it simple and not worry too much about how bi I am. I do not know what makes something a fetish verses a sexual attraction. If a guy has a cock sucking fetish I guess it means he likes sucking cock. If that same guy also liked sex with women I guess that means he is bi. I think if I just wanted to give a guy a hand job once in a while I would still consider myself bi.

ambi - I am not going to say weather you are bi or not because I think that is a very individual thing. I will say that I think this is the perfect place for the post you put here and I think you belong here for what it is worth. :) I have read many of your posts and have enjoyed them.

[billy_campbell]

Here is a great article which addresses very well many of the questions I have seen about what is gay, bi, straight, etc. It is long but very interesting.

http://www.io.com/~wwwomen/queer/amigay.html

[JohnnyV]

I think the labels are all inadequate. The most important thing is what you want to call yourself. If you consider yourself a straight man who likes to suck cock once in a while, and you intend to pattern your life that way, then you're straight! If you consider yourself a bi guy who won't do anal with a man, then you're bi! Just don't give up women or do more with men than you are comfortable with. And please, if you aren't emotionally interested in men, don't tease a gay man into sharing oral sex and then pretend that you're available for a meaningful emotional attachment. That's every gay male's nightmare.

Love,
J

[Long Duck Dong]

mmmm interesting

ok curve ball, lol if you are a person that is drawn to both sexes but don't have sex with one group, are you still bisexual ?????

yesh you are.... bisexuality is not the act of having sex with both sexes, but the attraction to both sexes and a desire for intimate contact that may or may not include sexual contact

its a bit like the question... if a person is a nun/ priest... are they hetero, homo, bi, auto, amoro, asexual ????? if they don't have sexual contact to define their sexuality ????

answer, they are defined by the attraction... and not the act

[OralBradley]

"ok curve ball, lol if you are a person that is drawn to both sexes but don't have sex with one group, are you still bisexual ?????"

I have been (essentially) monogamous for over 20 years, but my longing for sex with another man has not abated. In recent months it has increased to near intolerable levels--I would say that I am still bisexual. Avoiding the issue doesn't elimiante it.

[rodrigo_fun1]

I personally think nobody is 100%straight or 100%gay. We all lay in the middle percentages, some 98, some 55, some 33, whetever. Theres even people that has been totally against homosexuaty up front, but end up being gay inside secretely and viceversa.

But what makes you gay or straight comes from emotional feelings. We all like to have fun and have many fantasies. Many people keep them to themself while others like me go out there and try on them. After all its just for fun if you know you are straight. I never felt any emotional attraction to a man, only for woman. For example i would'nt kiss a guy cuz for me its a sign of love, while sucking a cock is more an act of lust.

[Rimiada]

Rodrigo, I agree with what you said. Even another poster had a good point: you do not necessary love a man the same way as a women. I still enjoy making love with my wife, but I have this fascination for well-proportioned cocks. In my late teens, I enjoyed mutual masturbation and sucking with some caressing, but never kissing or hugging.

[ntek56]

I would have to say, "Bi" because of the following experience:
My wife was "bicurious". She pursued her curiousity, didn't get anything from the experience except satisfied curiosity and now has no desire to be with another woman.

I on the other hand enjoy the occasional cock, wife is the voyeuress, and all is good with the world. ;)

[Mimi]

My short answer is: he's bi because he has the potential for sexual and/or romantic attraction to both sexes.

My long answer is: perhaps he finds women romantically and sexually attractive, and he finds men sexually attractive with no romantic component. The interesting part is that he only wants to do oral sex with men, and nothing penetrative. Maybe he just has that preference for sexual activity with men. But I sortof agree with PeterH here, in that perhaps he is afraid to go further due to stigma about "how gay" that might make him. Some people consider penetrative sex to be more intimate than oral sex ("someone is inside me" or "I'm inside someone else"), but others might say that oral is more intimate (because you have to get close with your face). And true, he may or may not call himself "bisexual," but isn't a man who calls himself, say, "vegetarian" who eats meat and vegatables still an "omnivore"? ;)

Mimi :flag3:

[Bothbi_cpl813]

Here i thought this was an anal sex question, LOL... I would persoanly say yes, he would be bi, then again, why do we need a label for what we like..... if the was the case I would be a "shaved cock with hot fudge sundae and sprinkles" ohh sorry forgot the nuts, LOL