Originally Posted by
JohnnyV
Hi folks. an olive branch-
--Whenever you find yourself dishing out stern generalizations like (1) bathhouses are full of AIDS (2) closeted men are dangerous (3) Person X is clueless (4) person Y is a lunatic, etc .... check yourself. No statistic is better than simply being generous to other humans and using a little bit of common sense.
I'm sure that Jerzy wouldn't like being told in gigantic red letters that men who dress like women are more likely to have HIV because they're more likely to be bottoms. Nor would DiamondDogg like to be told that men with ties to the leather world are more likely to have STDs because they do fisting, water sports and rimming and they share insertive sex toys. Would either of these offensive generalizations be "true"? Perhaps, if the person making them decided to combine lots of statistics into syllogisms and reach generalizations. But no, they're not "true" in everyday life because any individual who cross-dresses or hangs out with leather bear has the opportunity to be educated and make calculated risks.
Bathhouses follow a similar rule. You could combine lots of statistics to say that bathhouses attract more promiscuous men or more married men or more closeted men, and then point to studies that show these groups to be at a greater risk, and then decide that bathhouses are risky places to go. You could also say that 2 and 2 make 22, and you'd be equally right.
It's much easier to go to the bathhouse, having educated yourself about which activities pose a serious risk. Since HIV is incurable and fatal, and most (not all) studies show that anal sex is the prime culprit in spreading it between men, use a condom or avoid anal sex. Oral sex is lower risk but not risk-free, so it's wise to hedge your bets: use a flavored condom, or don't let the guy cum, or lick his shaft and balls but don't put his head in your mouth. Finito.
Yes, you can get gonnorhea and syphilis from oral sex. You can also cure those. If you haven't had sex in a long time and you need the pleasure, it's probably worth the risk, quite frankly.
I have both kinds of Herpes and HPV, which I got from my wife, not from a bathhouse. They are no big deal. 25% of the adult pop. has Herpes 2 and 50+% has Herpes 1. Any relationship you can get into, whether you meet the person at a bathhouse or at church, whether you wait 2 days or 2 years to screw, has a good chance of exposing you to those. It's worth the risk.
At bathhouses probably one of the biggest overlooked risk is crabs. They aren't fatal, but gee, they're a pain in the ass. You can get them even with condoms, and even with minimal contact. Bring a fresh set of clothes in a plastic bag, and some TopCare anti-lice shampoo. Shower using the anti-lice shampoo at the bathhouses' showers, and the minute you're done, jump into your fresh set of clothing. Problem solved. It is worth the risk.
I'm neither proud nor ashamed of my history at bathhouses. I estimate that over 15 years, I went about 20 times a year, which figures out to 300 visits and roughly 240 sexual encounters (sometimes I didn't do anything). Overwhelmingly, these encounters involved oral sex. I usually sucked, and almost never used a condom, though I never took cum in my mouth and never did it for very long periods of time. In those 240 encounters I got:
---crabs once
---no other STD.
Why? Because I didn't let myself get high or drunk there, and I used protection and educated myself. Let the statistics say what they say. A little bit of info and common sense outweigh the numbers.
J
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