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  1. #1
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    Red face What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Hi Everyone,

    There are two bathhouses near me in Providence RI. The odds of me actually going are quite slim but (as usual) I'm still very curious what it would be like? Of course I know what happens there, I'm not THAT naive but I'm wondering just how to behave and what to do/not do, whats expected of you, whats polite, and especially how to gracefully decline.

    Basically, I'd like to know what typically happens from the moment you walk in the front door. Is everyone naked+towel everywhere?

    Thanks everyone!

    Pang

  2. #2
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Where are these bathhouses @? Woo hoo orgy!!!

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    Thumbs down Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    An etiquette question is not something I associate with bathhouses. I use to have a couple of gay employees that frequented bathhouses here and around the country when they traveled. Granted, RI may be different, but the stories they told were of indiscriminate sex, drugs (heavy drugs) and disease. In this day and age, I am unsure why someone would want to meet random people for sex, but hey.

    Remember, people had a pretty good reason for shutting a majority of the bath houses in the early 80's when that unknown "gay disease" started spreading.

    For the record, both of the employees I spoke of earlier have HIV and one also has hepatitis...enjoy.

  4. #4
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    I guess it depends on the bathhouse. This Denver bathhouse looks good from the online decription: http://www.denverswimclub.com/dsc5.htm

    'course i can't go.
    I don't know of any heterosexual who would keep it a secret
    that they are attracted to, and date, the opposite sex
    .

    So why should I
    keep my orientation

    secret?

  5. #5
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Dear pangalactic1969:

    I would certainly heed the warnings given about the health dangers in bath houses. I have had only one experience. It was before ADIS, back in the 60's. I was in college and there was a bath house in the city where my school was located. I don't remember if I knew it was a gay bath or not. It was part of the old "Club Baths" chain. All I can do is recount my experiences. There was not forced sex and I did not see any drugs and remember, this was in the 60's. Pot was all around, but I saw none here.

    You went in, there was an attendant behind a glass and you paid you money and got a key. I think it was $5 for a small locker with a key and a towel, or if you wanted a locker room you paid $15.

    I changed, put my clothes away, wrapped the towek around my waist, put the key (attached to an elastic cord) around my ankle and walked in. I walked around to see what was going on. If I didn't know before that this was a Gay bath House it became pretty clear and I did not leave.

    I walked by the locker rooms first. There were guys in each of the rooms - if they were alone, and the door was open it was an invitation to join them. They would sit there and some would be playing with them selves, in other rooms there were pairs or threesomes engaged in sexual activities. Again if the door was open, the invitation was implied.

    Then I walked into the steamroom. There was a glass door that let in light from the corridor but inside there was no light. I sat down and as my eyes adjusted to the light, I realized there were several combinations of guys having sex on the large steps. I looked over and could see a guy on the top step getting blown by another between his legs. He was also sucking another guy off who was standing next to him. The guy between the legs of the first guy was getting fucked from behind by another.

    I was mesmerized and then I felt a hand begin to rub my thigh. I didn;t move and the hand got bolder and was replaced my a mouth. As I felt that - my first blow job by a guy - ever - I had the presence of mind to realize that if I came, I'd probably feel guilty and leave the bath house. So I pushed him away and leaned over and began to blow him. He finally came, but he must have cum before because he did not produce much. It was exciting for me, but a little anticlimatical.

    I got up and went outside to the whirlpool. There were two guys in it and they were sitting next to each other talking, but they were playing with each other below the surface. I went in adn sat down near them, but they ignored me and kept playing. I was about to leave when another guy got in and began to play with me. He was not my type - he kind of grossed me out, so I left. As I walked around I met a guy, older than I by a lot. We began to talk and he asked me to go to the playroom wit him. I had not been there yet and didn't know what it was so I followed him.

    We entered a large room, dimly lit, with red vinyl matts all over the floor. There were many guys in different pairings all around the perimeter of the room - some just talking, some kissing and many engaged in sex. There was not room for us to sit near the edge, so we sat down in the middle. He asked me to sit first and then he say in the opposite direction. He leaned over and took my cock in his mouth and I looked over to see his cock right in front of me. So we 69'ed each other and it was fantastic. We were not even noticed by anyone else in the room.

    After I came, I got up, showered, dressed and left. I never went back. I was lucky not to catch any STD. It was a very memorable experience and one that fuels my fantasies. If there were no such thing as STD's and HIV/AIDS and if I were not happily married and committed to a wonderful woman I would definiely do it again.

    But tell us, where are these bath houses in Providence? Do they have websites?

    If you go, be very careful. Don't drink before you go, refuse any drugs or even any offer of a drink, if you have sex always use a condom - one that you bought, not one offerred by another. Keep yourself safe and healthy. Better yet, don't go at all - just visit their website.

    Mike

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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Quote Originally Posted by mike9753
    Dear pangalactic1969:

    I would certainly heed the warnings given about the health dangers in bath houses. I have had only one experience. It was before ADIS, back in the 60's. I was in college and there was a bath house in the city where my school was located. I don't remember if I knew it was a gay bath or not. It was part of the old "Club Baths" chain. All I can do is recount my experiences. There was not forced sex and I did not see any drugs and remember, this was in the 60's. Pot was all around, but I saw none here.

    You went in, there was an attendant behind a glass and you paid you money and got a key. I think it was $5 for a small locker with a key and a towel, or if you wanted a locker room you paid $15.

    I changed, put my clothes away, wrapped the towek around my waist, put the key (attached to an elastic cord) around my ankle and walked in. I walked around to see what was going on. If I didn't know before that this was a Gay bath House it became pretty clear and I did not leave.

    I walked by the locker rooms first. There were guys in each of the rooms - if they were alone, and the door was open it was an invitation to join them. They would sit there and some would be playing with them selves, in other rooms there were pairs or threesomes engaged in sexual activities. Again if the door was open, the invitation was implied.

    Then I walked into the steamroom. There was a glass door that let in light from the corridor but inside there was no light. I sat down and as my eyes adjusted to the light, I realized there were several combinations of guys having sex on the large steps. I looked over and could see a guy on the top step getting blown by another between his legs. He was also sucking another guy off who was standing next to him. The guy between the legs of the first guy was getting fucked from behind by another.

    I was mesmerized and then I felt a hand begin to rub my thigh. I didn;t move and the hand got bolder and was replaced my a mouth. As I felt that - my first blow job by a guy - ever - I had the presence of mind to realize that if I came, I'd probably feel guilty and leave the bath house. So I pushed him away and leaned over and began to blow him. He finally came, but he must have cum before because he did not produce much. It was exciting for me, but a little anticlimatical.

    I got up and went outside to the whirlpool. There were two guys in it and they were sitting next to each other talking, but they were playing with each other below the surface. I went in adn sat down near them, but they ignored me and kept playing. I was about to leave when another guy got in and began to play with me. He was not my type - he kind of grossed me out, so I left. As I walked around I met a guy, older than I by a lot. We began to talk and he asked me to go to the playroom wit him. I had not been there yet and didn't know what it was so I followed him.

    We entered a large room, dimly lit, with red vinyl matts all over the floor. There were many guys in different pairings all around the perimeter of the room - some just talking, some kissing and many engaged in sex. There was not room for us to sit near the edge, so we sat down in the middle. He asked me to sit first and then he say in the opposite direction. He leaned over and took my cock in his mouth and I looked over to see his cock right in front of me. So we 69'ed each other and it was fantastic. We were not even noticed by anyone else in the room.

    After I came, I got up, showered, dressed and left. I never went back. I was lucky not to catch any STD. It was a very memorable experience and one that fuels my fantasies. If there were no such thing as STD's and HIV/AIDS and if I were not happily married and committed to a wonderful woman I would definiely do it again.

    But tell us, where are these bath houses in Providence? Do they have websites?

    If you go, be very careful. Don't drink before you go, refuse any drugs or even any offer of a drink, if you have sex always use a condom - one that you bought, not one offerred by another. Keep yourself safe and healthy. Better yet, don't go at all - just visit their website.

    Mike
    Where are these bath houses in Providence, and what is the rest of the gay/bi scene there? My lover and I want to spend a weekend there!

    Incidentally, that was a very sexxy description of the best that can go on at the baths, which my friend and I hope to recreate just with each other, but let others watch, touch.

    CAn anybody help?
    Ready, Aim ... SHOOT !!!

  7. #7
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    I go to the denver swim club when ever I am in town, and I don't go with any expectations of haveing any sex. I enjoy just hanging out and jacking off and watching others, I have given and got some blow jobs. Everyone is in a towel or naked, there are baskets of condoms in all the rooms. If you don't want to have any sex with the person just say that you are not intrested. Just go with an open mind and have some fun.

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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Quote Originally Posted by mike9753

    If you go, be very careful. Don't drink before you go, refuse any drugs or even any offer of a drink, if you have sex always use a condom - one that you bought, not one offerred by another. Keep yourself safe and healthy. Better yet, don't go at all - just visit their website.

    Mike
    Dude, have you ever thought of writing? That was a great description

    By the way, just wanted to say, extremely good advice to give! Taking your own condom, in this day and age you never know who might be malicious even when they seem so nice.
    Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive.
    Bugs Bunny

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    Post Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Quote Originally Posted by Lorcan
    I guess it depends on the bathhouse. This Denver bathhouse looks good from the online decription: http://www.denverswimclub.com/dsc5.htm

    'course i can't go.
    Oh, I'm sure it's going to sound just Peachy on their website that's trying ot get you to go with it.

    I'm a strong advocate that there is no such thing as safe sex. There is safer sex, or as I consider it, less risky sex.

    Condoms break. A condom doesn't mean you won't leave with AIDS. It just reduces the odds. Ultimately, you're still rolling dice and you can't escape that.

  10. #10
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    The bathhouse in downtown Providence is very, very clean. It is not fancy and its entrance is very obscure. Some claim the crowd is more "upscale". I haven't been there in 4 months but I used to go Tues, Wed, or Thurs around the noon hour. Older crowd - 45 to 65. Some of the guys are coming from the downtown offices for a nooner and most are married. I suspect the Saturday night crowd would be very different.
    You get a locker or room. Everybody showers first. Use the steam room for warm ups. Don't look for drugs - there aren't any.
    Playing it safe: a very, very high %age of married bi's are 100% clean, older fellows are more careful. That's why I go there when I do. Avoid anal sex w/o a condom. I have yet to experience a condom break but maybe cheapies will (good condoms are supplied). STD's are not transmitted by kissing nor by sucking.
    I'll take you there if you would like.
    Last edited by NEJack; Jan 3, 2007 at 11:08 AM.

  11. #11
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    What makes it so tough to respond to this is all the immediate judgements that take place for those of us who visit these places...and I understand of course why. But like anything else, there are misgivings about the reality of these places as well as what is known about them. I don't even want to go into the area of diseases etc., and not because of denial. Like anything else one has to use common sense. Sure passion does take over at times and can affect judgement on behavior...but that can happen with anyone and any situation. Fortunately for me, nothing has ever happened in terms of health and disease for me and I will continue to keep it that way. With that set aside I will continue...
    Some of the best sex (with males) I have ever had has been in the local bath houses here. Anything from one on one to group.....
    There's something to be said about the spontaneity and the passion....it's incredible. No inhibitions, everyone is there for only one reason and there's no BS. Of course, sometimes there is a type of cat and mouse game that is played and that gets old, but other than that, it's pretty 'straight' forward...lol...
    I realize that many of us including myself would prefer to be more social with others that we're going to share this most intimate of moments with. But there are times that it can be exciting to put all that aside and just get right into the moment without anything else attached to it. This isn't for everyone I realize and that's okay. My more loving relationships are much more fulfilling than this can ever be.....or I should say relationship as there is only one such person I love for all the many reasons we fall in love....but for just the appetite of sex and nothing else, this can be a very rewarding experience...for males at least....
    Yes, one must always use caution and excercise it...and there are ways to do this at bath houses like anywhere else and with anyone else.....if you're male and you can enjoy this experience I say go for it and enjoy!
    Thanks for taking the time to read this entry......

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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Quote Originally Posted by NEJack
    Playing it safe: a very, very high %age of married bi's are 100% clean, older fellows are more careful. That's why I go there when I do. Avoid anal sex w/o a condom. I have yet to experience a condom break but maybe cheapies will (good condoms are supplied). STD's are not transmitted by kissing nor by sucking.
    I'll take you there if you would like.
    Actually the research shows that closeted married gay/bi men on the down low are less likely to use condoms for anal intercourse and oral sex, and YES you can get STDs from giving oral sex, including HIV.

    Also, there are bathhouses for bi/lesbian women but they're in Canada for the most part.
    Last edited by DiamondDog; Jan 4, 2007 at 2:36 AM.

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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondDog
    Also, there are bathhouses for bi/lesbian women but they're in Canada for the most part.
    There's really not much to offer for bisexual women in bathhouses in Canada, as there are usually just three to six evenings a year in one of the Toronto baths that is set aside for women. Often they go by the name of "Pussy Palace". As for other Canadian cities, I understand there is a bath in each of Montreal and Winnipeg that is welcoming of bisexual male/female couples at least one day a week. Not sure if single bi women are welcome.

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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    You can get AIDS/HIV from oral sex. Don't fool yourself! The chances are less likely than with anal sex, but it is still possible.

    Mike

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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Here is goes again. Health and oral sex:
    Medical studies state there are std's that will transmit orally. Herpes for ex. HIV? no. It will not transmit through the mouth. Kissing is safe, French kissing too, Cock sucking has no more risk than french kissing. Those who advanced the contrary theory on HIV were the public health and medical researchers in the US who, unlike in any other country, made HIV a national epidemic - in order to put presure on Congress for funding (they succeeded. Before then, the disease was regarded as affecting only a small portion of the population and did not warrant research dollars). Several years ago the organizers of that effort admitted so.
    HIV is not widespread - in 1997 75% of the HIV positives in the US lived in 50 ZIP codes (if you don't live in one of those ZIP codes, it doesn't mean you can be careless). In other countries treatment and prevention is focused on the population that risks the highest exposure (same in US if we put our treatment money in those ZIP codes - that would be more cost effcetive than our present public health plan).
    Noteworthy are the reports in December 06 on 3 controlled studies in Southern Africa - that adult circumcision cut the transmission of the HIV virus by more than 50%. Exact reason is not certain. One theory is the underside of the foreskin can harbor the virus. Men do not clean themselves carefully everywhere in this world - not even in Boston, where I am. That's one reason why the Providence bathhouses is better - everybody showers first. My prediction is within 5 years there will be a national effort in the US, UK & Canada to circumcize adult gay males. Also, note the greatest amount of infection worldwide is in those countries near the equator. Reason - unprotecetd anal sex with women is the common method of birth control - a woman has 2 holes, one for babies and one for fun, and of course men do not get pregnant. Since they regard condoms as birth control devices, urging them to use a condom in anal sex has been a hard sell in Africa but there has been progress.
    Unprotected anal sex seems the only certain sex act with a clear risk of infection. Researchers still not in agreement why - maybe the anus lining is so tender that it tears easily; maybe the inner wall of the male uthrea is similarly vulnerable. maybe. Whatever the reason, it is the riskiest.
    Protection against any transmittable disease, which includes the common cold, is a matter of risk. Interested in M2M sex? Then get smart and tilt the risk factors in your favor. No needles, no infected guy, no unprotected anal sex with penile penetration (finger ok), no gay males in their 20's that you don't know, chose a bi male over a gay male. Even better, chose a guy with a wedding ring on who is 45 or more. He may not be as skilled but he's as safe as you are. Find such a person on line? Try silverdaddies.com - appeals to upper scale players most of whom are bi, or this site. For more info on health go to the gay on line sites that feature a health or safe sex sidebar.
    For me the bathhouse, which I have not been to in 6 months, is easy, everybody is squeeky clean, condoms available everywhere, nicer and less risky set of guys than a chance pickup at a bar. As for the adventure aspect, AndrogenousLuv said it best.
    Last edited by NEJack; Jan 4, 2007 at 10:02 PM.

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    Thumbs down Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Quote Originally Posted by NEJack
    Here is goes again. Health and oral sex:
    Medical studies state there are std's that will transmit orally. Herpes for ex. HIV? no. It will not transmit through the mouth. Kissing is safe, French kissing too, Cock sucking has no more risk than french kissing. Those who advanced the contrary theory on HIV were the public health and medical researchers in the US who, unlike in any other country, made HIV a national epidemic - in order to put presure on Congress for funding (they succeeded. Before then, the disease was regarded as affecting only a small portion of the population and did not warrant research dollars). Several years ago the organizers of that effort admitted so.
    HIV is not widespread - in 1997 75% of the HIV positives in the US lived in 50 ZIP codes (if you don't live in one of those ZIP codes, it doesn't mean you can be careless). In other countries treatment and prevention is focused on the population that risks the highest exposure (same in US if we put our treatment money in those ZIP codes - that would be more cost effcetive than our present public health plan).
    Noteworthy are the reports in December 06 on 3 controlled studies in Southern Africa - that adult circumcision cut the transmission of the HIV virus by more than 50%. Exact reason is not certain. One theory is the underside of the foreskin can harbor the virus. Men do not clean themselves carefully everywhere in this world - not even in Boston, where I am. That's one reason why the Providence bathhouses is better - everybody showers first. My prediction is within 5 years there will be a national effort in the US, UK & Canada to circumcize adult gay males. Also, note the greatest amount of infection worldwide is in those countries near the equator. Reason - unprotecetd anal sex with women is the common method of birth control - a woman has 2 holes, one for babies and one for fun, and of course men do not get pregnant. Since they regard condoms as birth control devices, urging them to use a condom in anal sex has been a hard sell in Africa but there has been progress.
    Unprotected anal sex seems the only certain sex act with a clear risk of infection. Researchers still not in agreement why - maybe the anus lining is so tender that it tears easily; maybe the inner wall of the male uthrea is similarly vulnerable. maybe. Whatever the reason, it is the riskiest.
    Protection against any transmittable disease, which includes the common cold, is a matter of risk. Interested in M2M sex? Then get smart and tilt the risk factors in your favor. No needles, no infected guy, no unprotected anal sex with penile penetration (finger ok), no gay males in their 20's that you don't know, chose a bi male over a gay male. Even better, chose a guy with a wedding ring on who is 45 or more. He may not be as skilled but he's as safe as you are. Find such a person on line? Try silverdaddies.com - appeals to upper scale players most of whom are bi, or this site. For more info on health go to the gay on line sites that feature a health or safe sex sidebar.
    For me the bathhouse, which I have not been to in 6 months, is easy, everybody is squeeky clean, condoms available everywhere, nicer and less risky set of guys than a chance pickup at a bar. As for the adventure aspect, AndrogenousLuv said it best.
    Don't kid yourself and live in ignorance, it's 2007 not 1977 or 1987.

    Sucking cock is as safe as kissing?
    Tell that to all the men who have gotten syphilis or HIV that way.

    Having sex with closeted men is insane. Closeted men take terrible risks, for some closeted guys, choosing to use a condom is an acknowledgement that they're having M2M sex, so those in heavy denial won't use them.

    Good luck trying to get adult men circumcised...if circumcision prevented HIV as well as latex condoms do, men that are cut wouldn't get it from other men and women.

    What's up with the zip code thing? That's just faulty logic. HIV is everywhere even from small rural areas to large cities. People thought that in the 1980s that they were safer if they weren't near/in a huge city; but trust me it's not that way.

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    Exclamation Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Can we dispell a myth right now?

    Quote Originally Posted by NEJack
    Here is goes again. Health and oral sex:
    Medical studies state there are std's that will transmit orally. Herpes for ex. HIV? no. It will not transmit through the mouth. Kissing is safe, French kissing too, Cock sucking has no more risk than french kissing.
    Fact: In an HIV-positive patient, HIV is present in all bodily fluids. This includes semen, pre-ejaculatory fluid, vaginal secretions, blood, breast milk, urine and saliva.

    I'm sorry. How many more people need to get this fucking disease and die from it before we start taking it seriously? 1,000? 1,000,000? More? Pick a number. Oh I'm sorry, you don't need one, you're clearly in line. Its misinformation like this that is the reason that AIDS still exists. Its irresponsible sexual behavoir like this that is the reason AIDS still exists. You want to be stupid and ignorant of medical facts? Fine. I'm sure that Darwinism will make us as a species collectively smarter when your sheer ignorance results in AIDS culling you from the population. Until then, please, keep your idiocy to yourself.

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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Guys I do not need large type to make my points and I do not support hysterical warnings of a dire plague. We have a serious disease that is difficult to stamp out but it is not like the common cold or the bubonic plague.
    50 ZIP codes is not faulty logic. It is a statistic. It should be no surprise to anyone who lives in a large city that gays tend to congregate into communities and thgere you will find more HIV positives than elsewhere. Are there HIV positives elsewhere? yes 25% of all HIV's live in all the the rest of the country - very spread out.

    A condom is not a one or the other choice with circumcision. Condom use has been popularized in the past 20 years here in Americas and Europe but still is a hard sell in Africa. So, circumcision will become part of the anti HIV health program there and as its successes are noted public health people here will start advocating, because condom use is not universal here either.

    It should come as no surprise that a clean penis is far cleaner than the inside of a mouth. How about secretions? The acid in the stomach does kill bacteria and viruses and spermatoza but not 100%, and its effectiveness on the HIV virus is still under study.

    Reading the 2 above replies brings the reader to the conclusion the only safe way is no M2M sexual contact. They are right. But the public health issue is some males will nevertheless want M2M sex, and I submit 98% of those on this bi site are so interested. If you are one of the 98%, my advice is to use the head on your neck before using the head on your willie. Look at all the risk factors and select a course that has the least risks yet allows you the adventure of M2M sex. The gist of my prior reply is I wa surprised how much safer bathhouse sex in Providence is than a casual pick up at a bar or on gay.com. Good luck.

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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Does anyone know of a Bathhouse in the Baltimore or D.C. area?

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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    No, sorry I don't know of any Bath Houses in that area. But try Google. If there are any you might find some there.

    I also think, for me, there are other outlets than bath hosues. I have recently heard about JO Clubs. They don't have the amenities of Sauna, Whirlpool and Steam Room and many have rules prohibiting any insertions below the belt and no BJ's but that thought of standing around naked, talking to others who are also naked is very appealing. There is another Thread about this I think and the descriptions were pretty arousing. It also seems safer. Less safe than abstinence, but a safer than a bath house.

    I know there are a few around the NE. ONe in NYC, one in CT one in Pittsburgh. Again, a Google search may find them. I also think you can find some if yu search in Yahoo Groups.

    Mike

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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    in order to find bath house near u go to squirt.org or other cruise sites and u will find listings, amenities and address. wil also be some talk of who what and when best times

  22. #22

    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    I personally was taught that HIV is not present in saliva or breast milk, but that there can be blood present in those fliuds due to mouth sores or lesions on the nipple (snyone who has breastfed knows what I'm talking about). I was also taught that even if there is no orgasm, fluids are still created, so while the odds are lessened by stopping before ejaculation, there is still a risk of contracting STDs that way.
    I'm not going to insist that anyone is right or worng, including myself, because I can't cite my sources (Though I did get this information from my local AIDS health center) I would strongly encourage anyone wishing to post statisitcs and be take seriously to cite thier research rather than making blanket assessments like "most people", etc.

  23. #23
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Hi folks. an olive branch-

    --Whenever you find yourself dishing out stern generalizations like (1) bathhouses are full of AIDS (2) closeted men are dangerous (3) Person X is clueless (4) person Y is a lunatic, etc .... check yourself. No statistic is better than simply being generous to other humans and using a little bit of common sense.

    I'm sure that Jerzy wouldn't like being told in gigantic red letters that men who dress like women are more likely to have HIV because they're more likely to be bottoms. Nor would DiamondDogg like to be told that men with ties to the leather world are more likely to have STDs because they do fisting, water sports and rimming and they share insertive sex toys. Would either of these offensive generalizations be "true"? Perhaps, if the person making them decided to combine lots of statistics into syllogisms and reach generalizations. But no, they're not "true" in everyday life because any individual who cross-dresses or hangs out with leather bear has the opportunity to be educated and make calculated risks.

    Bathhouses follow a similar rule. You could combine lots of statistics to say that bathhouses attract more promiscuous men or more married men or more closeted men, and then point to studies that show these groups to be at a greater risk, and then decide that bathhouses are risky places to go. You could also say that 2 and 2 make 22, and you'd be equally right.

    It's much easier to go to the bathhouse, having educated yourself about which activities pose a serious risk. Since HIV is incurable and fatal, and most (not all) studies show that anal sex is the prime culprit in spreading it between men, use a condom or avoid anal sex. Oral sex is lower risk but not risk-free, so it's wise to hedge your bets: use a flavored condom, or don't let the guy cum, or lick his shaft and balls but don't put his head in your mouth. Finito.

    Yes, you can get gonnorhea and syphilis from oral sex. You can also cure those. If you haven't had sex in a long time and you need the pleasure, it's probably worth the risk, quite frankly.

    I have both kinds of Herpes and HPV, which I got from my wife, not from a bathhouse. They are no big deal. 25% of the adult pop. has Herpes 2 and 50+% has Herpes 1. Any relationship you can get into, whether you meet the person at a bathhouse or at church, whether you wait 2 days or 2 years to screw, has a good chance of exposing you to those. It's worth the risk.

    At bathhouses probably one of the biggest overlooked risk is crabs. They aren't fatal, but gee, they're a pain in the ass. You can get them even with condoms, and even with minimal contact. Bring a fresh set of clothes in a plastic bag, and some TopCare anti-lice shampoo. Shower using the anti-lice shampoo at the bathhouses' showers, and the minute you're done, jump into your fresh set of clothing. Problem solved. It is worth the risk.

    I'm neither proud nor ashamed of my history at bathhouses. I estimate that over 15 years, I went about 20 times a year, which figures out to 300 visits and roughly 240 sexual encounters (sometimes I didn't do anything). Overwhelmingly, these encounters involved oral sex. I usually sucked, and almost never used a condom, though I never took cum in my mouth and never did it for very long periods of time. In those 240 encounters I got:

    ---crabs once
    ---no other STD.

    Why? Because I didn't let myself get high or drunk there, and I used protection and educated myself. Let the statistics say what they say. A little bit of info and common sense outweigh the numbers.

    J
    If sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.

  24. #24
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    In the past I have had quite a few trips the saunas (as they are called in the UK). For me, I was always instinctively careful and never caught any STD as a result. I would also say that I had some amazing sensual sexual experiences in them which really helped me define what I like with guys. Like Johnny V. - other times I'd just watch.

  25. #25
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyV
    Hi folks. an olive branch-

    --Whenever you find yourself dishing out stern generalizations like (1) bathhouses are full of AIDS (2) closeted men are dangerous (3) Person X is clueless (4) person Y is a lunatic, etc .... check yourself. No statistic is better than simply being generous to other humans and using a little bit of common sense.

    I'm sure that Jerzy wouldn't like being told in gigantic red letters that men who dress like women are more likely to have HIV because they're more likely to be bottoms. Nor would DiamondDogg like to be told that men with ties to the leather world are more likely to have STDs because they do fisting, water sports and rimming and they share insertive sex toys. Would either of these offensive generalizations be "true"? Perhaps, if the person making them decided to combine lots of statistics into syllogisms and reach generalizations. But no, they're not "true" in everyday life because any individual who cross-dresses or hangs out with leather bear has the opportunity to be educated and make calculated risks.

    Bathhouses follow a similar rule. You could combine lots of statistics to say that bathhouses attract more promiscuous men or more married men or more closeted men, and then point to studies that show these groups to be at a greater risk, and then decide that bathhouses are risky places to go. You could also say that 2 and 2 make 22, and you'd be equally right.

    It's much easier to go to the bathhouse, having educated yourself about which activities pose a serious risk. Since HIV is incurable and fatal, and most (not all) studies show that anal sex is the prime culprit in spreading it between men, use a condom or avoid anal sex. Oral sex is lower risk but not risk-free, so it's wise to hedge your bets: use a flavored condom, or don't let the guy cum, or lick his shaft and balls but don't put his head in your mouth. Finito.

    Yes, you can get gonnorhea and syphilis from oral sex. You can also cure those. If you haven't had sex in a long time and you need the pleasure, it's probably worth the risk, quite frankly.

    I have both kinds of Herpes and HPV, which I got from my wife, not from a bathhouse. They are no big deal. 25% of the adult pop. has Herpes 2 and 50+% has Herpes 1. Any relationship you can get into, whether you meet the person at a bathhouse or at church, whether you wait 2 days or 2 years to screw, has a good chance of exposing you to those. It's worth the risk.

    At bathhouses probably one of the biggest overlooked risk is crabs. They aren't fatal, but gee, they're a pain in the ass. You can get them even with condoms, and even with minimal contact. Bring a fresh set of clothes in a plastic bag, and some TopCare anti-lice shampoo. Shower using the anti-lice shampoo at the bathhouses' showers, and the minute you're done, jump into your fresh set of clothing. Problem solved. It is worth the risk.

    I'm neither proud nor ashamed of my history at bathhouses. I estimate that over 15 years, I went about 20 times a year, which figures out to 300 visits and roughly 240 sexual encounters (sometimes I didn't do anything). Overwhelmingly, these encounters involved oral sex. I usually sucked, and almost never used a condom, though I never took cum in my mouth and never did it for very long periods of time. In those 240 encounters I got:

    ---crabs once
    ---no other STD.

    Why? Because I didn't let myself get high or drunk there, and I used protection and educated myself. Let the statistics say what they say. A little bit of info and common sense outweigh the numbers.

    J

    Thankyou J. Common sense and education. Requirements for a safe, and enjoyable life. When I was 13 and very naive, my friend brought two girls to my house for a night out. He said one girl, (my date) has 'the crabs'. Well........ I asked my father "what are 'the crabs'???" He told me, I didn't have sex with my date, I didn't get the crabs. I'm now married, I don't want to infect my wife with anything, so I haven't screwed around with anyone. Yet? I'm still struggling with my own yet, but that would be another thread. Love you all, so please, no more bickering.

  26. #26
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Quote Originally Posted by NEJack
    50 ZIP codes is not faulty logic. It is a statistic. It should be no surprise to anyone who lives in a large city that gays tend to congregate into communities and thgere you will find more HIV positives than elsewhere. Are there HIV positives elsewhere? yes 25% of all HIV's live in all the the rest of the country - very spread out.

    ...How about secretions? The acid in the stomach does kill bacteria and viruses and spermatoza but not 100%, and its effectiveness on the HIV virus is still under study.
    The ZIP code statistic may be accurate, but it's irrelevant as far as judging risk from behaviors.

    Stomach acids, and possibly even the saliva found in the mouth to some extent, likely kill HIV. However, lesions or sores, even small ones, in the mouth can provide a route for HIV into the bloodstream (bypassing the acids). If you've had recent dental work, or experience any bleeding from the gums, you absolutely should be using a condom for oral sex.

  27. #27
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Our brother Pang asked what to expect at a bath house in the way of social behavior; he did not ask for a round table discussion on STDs.

    I've gone to a lot of spas in many cities over the past 25 years and I visit the local spa probably five afternoons a week (ah, yes, retired, married and in the closet, afternoons are almost "ours" at the spa!).

    Two very wonderful things have been universal in the vast majority of the spas I have visited--------cleanliness and courtesy. I have said often that if men everywhere at all times were as civil and considerate as the men in the spa, we would not need police or armies.

    Pang, you can be naked or you can keep your towel around you. Your choice. No peer pressure for one or the other.

    Sex? Your decision. If a man wants to touch you and you do not want to be touched, you simply say in a courteous tone, "no, thank you" and the man will move away. He will not pester you or beg you or harrass you------because he would be ejected instantly by the staff! Discourtesy is simply not tolerated.

    Likewise, you see a dick you want to touch? Reach for it and say, "may I?" and the other guy will either say no thanks or he will let you touch it. His choice.

    Same rules apply if you and your partner want to have sex in the sauna, the play room, wherever. No man will bother you unless you indicate you welcome a 3way.

    Same civility applies to comments, talk and chitchat. You may pass a compliment when you see a dude with a trophy rod, but you would be subject to being kicked out for any shitty negative comment or derision.

    Chitchat with the other guys? Sure. Some may be talkative, some may be reluctant. Their choice.

    Bottom line? The spas are wonderful places where all men can be honest and at ease with their bodies, their nudity, their orientation and their preferences. It is the highest ideal of the consenting adult. Sit, suck, jack, fuck; sun, steam, swim, shower; treadmill, television, chitchat; but just be your civil and considerate self and you will have a wonderful experience.

  28. #28
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Quote Originally Posted by kennan
    Our brother Pang asked what to expect at a bath house in the way of social behavior; he did not ask for a round table discussion on STDs.

    I've gone to a lot of spas in many cities over the past 25 years and I visit the local spa probably five afternoons a week (ah, yes, retired, married and in the closet, afternoons are almost "ours" at the spa!).

    Two very wonderful things have been universal in the vast majority of the spas I have visited--------cleanliness and courtesy. I have said often that if men everywhere at all times were as civil and considerate as the men in the spa, we would not need police or armies.

    Pang, you can be naked or you can keep your towel around you. Your choice. No peer pressure for one or the other.

    Sex? Your decision. If a man wants to touch you and you do not want to be touched, you simply say in a courteous tone, "no, thank you" and the man will move away. He will not pester you or beg you or harrass you------because he would be ejected instantly by the staff! Discourtesy is simply not tolerated.

    Likewise, you see a dick you want to touch? Reach for it and say, "may I?" and the other guy will either say no thanks or he will let you touch it. His choice.

    Same rules apply if you and your partner want to have sex in the sauna, the play room, wherever. No man will bother you unless you indicate you welcome a 3way.

    Same civility applies to comments, talk and chitchat. You may pass a compliment when you see a dude with a trophy rod, but you would be subject to being kicked out for any shitty negative comment or derision.

    Chitchat with the other guys? Sure. Some may be talkative, some may be reluctant. Their choice.

    Bottom line? The spas are wonderful places where all men can be honest and at ease with their bodies, their nudity, their orientation and their preferences. It is the highest ideal of the consenting adult. Sit, suck, jack, fuck; sun, steam, swim, shower; treadmill, television, chitchat; but just be your civil and considerate self and you will have a wonderful experience.
    My sentiments exactly Kennan....
    There is no doubt that the bath house is obvious for what it is. I too am tired of the negative slant placed upon it. We all understand why; but judgements must be put aside. STD's can happen anywhere and with anyone. I know the argument here is based on the idea of numbers of people and a public place. PLEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ....sexual activity with anyone is public except for someone you share your life with daily as in main person in your life. Common sense is what is required in any situation regardless of the surroundings unless it is someone you've known for life and even then, unfortunately, things happen. The odds tilt against the bath house for this argument, but that doesn't mean it is the final comment. Thanks for reading.

  29. #29
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Quote Originally Posted by kennan
    Our brother Pang asked what to expect at a bath house in the way of social behavior; he did not ask for a round table discussion on STDs.

    I've gone to a lot of spas in many cities over the past 25 years and I visit the local spa probably five afternoons a week (ah, yes, retired, married and in the closet, afternoons are almost "ours" at the spa!).

    Two very wonderful things have been universal in the vast majority of the spas I have visited--------cleanliness and courtesy. I have said often that if men everywhere at all times were as civil and considerate as the men in the spa, we would not need police or armies.

    Pang, you can be naked or you can keep your towel around you. Your choice. No peer pressure for one or the other.

    Sex? Your decision. If a man wants to touch you and you do not want to be touched, you simply say in a courteous tone, "no, thank you" and the man will move away. He will not pester you or beg you or harrass you------because he would be ejected instantly by the staff! Discourtesy is simply not tolerated.

    Likewise, you see a dick you want to touch? Reach for it and say, "may I?" and the other guy will either say no thanks or he will let you touch it. His choice.

    Same rules apply if you and your partner want to have sex in the sauna, the play room, wherever. No man will bother you unless you indicate you welcome a 3way.

    Same civility applies to comments, talk and chitchat. You may pass a compliment when you see a dude with a trophy rod, but you would be subject to being kicked out for any shitty negative comment or derision.

    Chitchat with the other guys? Sure. Some may be talkative, some may be reluctant. Their choice.

    Bottom line? The spas are wonderful places where all men can be honest and at ease with their bodies, their nudity, their orientation and their preferences. It is the highest ideal of the consenting adult. Sit, suck, jack, fuck; sun, steam, swim, shower; treadmill, television, chitchat; but just be your civil and considerate self and you will have a wonderful experience.
    Agreed Kennan, well put. A very accurate description and comments well taken.

  30. #30
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    Re: What to expect at Bathhouse??

    Pangalatic,

    I stumbled onto a site called bathhouseaddict.com while surfing one day. It has FAQ's for bathhouse virgins (like you I fall into this category), a picture tour of a typical bathhouse, reviews of bathhouses (including both bathhouses in Providence that you mention, complete with website connections to both houses), and lots of links to other gay-related topics. It's fun to look at (stimulating, even!) and has some of the info you're looking for.

    It was interesting to see your post, as your response was much like mine was after I realized that there were a couple of bathhouses in Dallas. I'm not sure I'd ever go to one, but it does simplify the process of having an actual gay sexual experience, and it has opened up a nice, new channel of fantasy and imagination for masturbatory adventures.

    Good luck, and hopefully this helps.

 

 

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