Being honest

[andeep]

(First of all - HELLO!)

You've read this story a hundred times already...

I'm a "straight" guy who has always had sexual thoughts towards men, but never really acted on those impulses due to social pressures. It started mainly in my early teens, me and a friend would fool around - we both now pretend those experiences never even happened.

I've had many girlfriends over the years, and I am definitely sexually attracted to women - and still have female fantasies. As I've gotten older I feel like I'm embracing these bisexual feelings more positively and recently (drunkenly) opened up to a gay friend that I am - or at least think I am - bisexual. It was a great feeling to say the words out loud to someone. (He actually recently contacted me on Facebook to hang out more).

I think my view on sexuality is that I've never really felt the need to put a label on what I'm interested in. There's so much stigma and taboo still surrounding the LGBT community, that I personally have never understood.

I mean - I get it - but my ethos is mainly "who are you to tell me what to do?"

Now I'm approaching 30, I feel like it's time to be fully true to myself and explore these feelings more, even if it means shocking a few people.

[Coastocoast]

There are a few things you might want to consider here. First if you are single and not with a woman the situation is straightforward, do you want to venture into a situation to find out or not. If you are partnered you need to consider your partner and the risks to her before you act on it and might need to tell her this is something you need to explore before hand. If you are single and want to give it a try just be careful and safe as you can be especially if you have penetrative sex. Many people who have been curious about the same sex very quickly in their first attempt find the fantasy either does or does not live up to reality for them, others find out over a few tries. You may instantly say why did I wait or what was I thinking. You might want hold off on the anouncement to your personal world until you are sure this is what you are after acting on it. Telling everyone I am bisexual or gay will not be something you can undo even if you find you are in fact straight after trying. Think carefully go ahead and be true to yourself if this real for you. Good luck with your ventures.

[Realist]

First of all, welcome to the site.

Secondly, we all grow and learn about life and ourselves, as we move though this world. You're going at a pace that's comfortable for you....and there's more to come!

There are some brilliant people here, who may have interesting interactions with you. There's a few antagonists, too, but you can banter with them, if you want, or ignore them.

You may learn a lot about yourself and others, here. I hope you find what you're looking for, I know I did!

Good luck and keep in touch as your adventure unfolds!

[andeep]

Hi Coast, thanks for the reply

I am currently single - not related to the context posted here. But being single at the moment has revived these thoughts.

I totally agree with what you're saying - I think I just need to have an 'experience' and see if it lives up to the feelings I have. I will always play safe.

As for telling friends/family, I don't regret opening up to my friend about my feelings, and I hope they would respect me enough not to spread gossip - even if it was a drunken conversation. I would never put myself in a situation revealing too much if I wasn't 100% sure.

[andeep]

First of all, welcome to the site.

Secondly, we all grow and learn about life and ourselves, as we move though this world. You're going at a pace that's comfortable for you....and there's more to come!

There are some brilliant people here, who may have interesting interactions with you. There's a few antagonists, too, but you can banter with them, if you want, or ignore them.

You may learn a lot about yourself and others, here. I hope you find what you're looking for, I know I did!

Good luck and keep in touch as your adventure unfolds!

Thanks Realist!

[elian]

I find that having at least one other person who you can talk to openly about your feelings helps. There are some folks who feel as though bisexuality does not exist, they are wrong..and being bisexual does not automatically make you a more promiscuous person - I struggled a lot early on because I thought that I -had- to be one way -or- the other. There are many things in nature that are not exclusively black or white, but somewhere in between.

[sysper]

sounds like u have decided u need to give urself an opportunity to explore this which is very good. u have never really had this before except maybe what u experianced in ur early teens. u will probably shock a few people but u have gotta be true to urself & give urself the means & the space to explore urself & see the real u. i wish u alot of goodluck in ur journey. it's a journey i know i have gotta be on too.

[HappyHedonic]

Hi andeep,

I've not only read this story, I've lived it...

When I was a horny teenaged virgin who was too awkward to convince girls to have sex with me, I had the opportunity to trade blow jobs with an older man who I had just met. I was terrified of being found out and labeled as a "faggot" but I was horny enough and curious enough to take him up on it. We got together just once and I was so nervous that I wasn't able to bring him to completion. He gave me a wonderful blow job and then I went home and never saw him again. A year later I finally had a girlfriend who started my heterosexual life, and I thought that the "gay thing" was just a passing phase because I was so horny. Yup, from here on out it was going to be women, women, women...

Several years later I was between girlfriends and playing on this new invention called the Internet and I stumbled into the chat room scene. I found bisexual chat rooms for local people and one thing led to another and then here I am in this guys apartment. The very moment that his cock was in my mouth I had an epiphany that this was right, this was good, and that I liked having sex with men. I knew I wasn't done with women but rather I was adding men to my palette. I knew then that I was bisexual. Since then I have been with a few other guys and a few other women, and while I am careful of who I come out to for professional reasons I fully embrace my sexuality and enjoy my life as a bisexual.

[pole_smoker]

Just be honest with whatever women or men you date, wind up in a relationship with, or even marry.

Also come out to your family and friends as life isn't lived within a closet, and you'll be happier. Plus it's 2015 and being bisexual or LGBT in the Western world is no big deal.

[Alex2200]

unlike others that responded, i not find bi so bad. I like people, sex/race/whatever be damned. If u hit it off with someone, anyone, go for it and not worry about labels, just connect with people u like and are attracted to. In other words, just relax and be yourself.