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  1. #1
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    Red face my husband likes to be fucked

    okay, so very new to this forum, but not new to enjoying my husband of 22 years ass. He loves for me to play with his ass, tongue, fingers, plugs, dildos. You name it. I don't mind most times as I like to see him "loose" it. Which he does quite frequently. What I don't want or like, is a "real" guy with me invovled. It really bothers me when he brings up watching me suck him off while he is getting fucked, or me getting fucked by another guy while he fucks him. It really bothers me. I wouldn't mind watching him with another guy, but I don't want to be invovled and he seems to think it should be a 3 way thing. We haven't strayed outside our marriage, but this fantasy of his keeps coming up. I wouldn't mind another woman, actually would LOVE another woman, us taking turns on hubby, with each other. We haven't gotten to the point of actually doing anything with someone, cause we can't agree. So, opinions on this, what to do, how to do it, are totally welcome.
    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Honesty and open communication. Tell him these things you just posted here. My wife also loves to fuck me and to see how turned on I become. We have talked about her watching me with another guy and she has said she would really love to do that. She has also stated that she isn't sure she would like to participate. She knows that I would love to have another man have sex with her, but she has made it clear that she is not ready for that. We fantasize about, sometimes during sex, but I don't push the issue. If she isn't ready, she isn't ready. Just like me, I want her first experience with another woman to be just her and the other woman. I want her first experience to be as less awkward as possible, and I feel having me there would make her not as open to enjoy it. Would I love to see her with another woman? Does a bear crap in the woods and wipe it's ass with a white bunny? HELL YEA I would love to watch, but at another time. What I am trying to say, mainly, is we always communicate openly and honestly. This of course is my opinion, so take it for what it's worth. Good luck.
    Last edited by Cowboy51; Oct 26, 2010 at 12:01 PM.
    “One who is too insistent on his own views, finds few to agree with him.” -Lao Tzu

  3. #3
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    My wife and I would like to be with a couple where the women are together and the men are together. That could be an option. I can see your husbands view though....I like to think of my wife and I sharing another man. but just remember there are other options. Just talk it through until you both agree!

  4. #4

    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    You sound a LOT like us. My wife & I are both bi, and while I enjoy being around her & other women (voyeurism is a big turn on for me), she has no interest in being with me when I'm with another guy. That MIGHT change if she would be interested in the other guy, but to date that has not happened. I also totally agree with Cowboy -- honest & open communication is key. Its taken us a good number of years to get to were we are currently & it is continually changing.

    Hope this helps & good luck.

  5. #5
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    And maybe just tell him you'd get off more just watching the two of them doing it and not getting involved?

  6. #6
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    tell him he can get fucked by a guy and you will just watch better yet get 2 guys and a girl with a strapon and gangbang him if he liked to be fucked he will love a good gangbanging

  7. #7
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Like others have said: It's a matter of finding your personal balance as a couple.
    Obviously, you have found common ground with the anal sex part, and he's confident that your relationship is open enough to tell you he wants another man involved too.

    You both have to decide whether you want to go to that next level. Perhaps once you guys get together with another guy (within whatever limits you decide work for you), you may feel more inclined to participate with whatever comes up.

    Having enjoyed some great (dare I say amazing) threesomes with MF couples, I can tell you it can be an awesome thing, but everyone has to know what they are getting into or there can be problems as well. It's good that you're discussing it, that's a great start.

  8. #8

    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Why is it okay for you to have a threesome with a woman, yet the threesome with a man is repulsive? If you two are just talking about the fantasy of a threesome, wouldn't it be fair to let him enjoy his fantasy? Reciprocation??

    I am not advocating you being pressured into an uncomfortable situation. I know for myself, I never wanted more than two women. When I had a girlfriend want two guys, I was sickened at the prospect. It took a long time, and a lot to talking to give in and let her have her fantasy. Eventually it got to the point of preferring another guy with me in the room... the two of us focused on one woman's body, bringing her to new levels of pleasure. After several MFMs, the idea of sucking cock didn't seem so repulsive, and, as they say, the rest is history.

    (I hope I don't need to don a flam suit! LOL)
    Still A Little Hazy... Got A Little Crazy!


  9. #9
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Not to stir the pot but if he's been so insistent about it, then you can probably count on the fact that he's been with or seeing other guys. Obviously he loves you and is just trying to get you on board w/it. He wants permission and acceptance from you.

    I hate to see you "give in" and feel like you've lost something but at least try and open your mind to it. You can always say you tried. Like the first responder suggested, communication is the key. Sex is obviously an important part of your relationship right now but don't confuse sex with love. Too many marriages end up in divorce from these "phases". Always remember the reasons you two love each other.

    Good luck. I wish I could hear how things went or are going.

  10. #10
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Quote Originally Posted by xxxbicuriouswoman View Post
    okay, so very new to this forum, but not new to enjoying my husband of 22 years ass. He loves for me to play with his ass, tongue, fingers, plugs, dildos. You name it. I don't mind most times as I like to see him "loose" it. Which he does quite frequently. What I don't want or like, is a "real" guy with me invovled. It really bothers me when he brings up watching me suck him off while he is getting fucked, or me getting fucked by another guy while he fucks him. It really bothers me. I wouldn't mind watching him with another guy, but I don't want to be invovled and he seems to think it should be a 3 way thing. We haven't strayed outside our marriage, but this fantasy of his keeps coming up. I wouldn't mind another woman, actually would LOVE another woman, us taking turns on hubby, with each other. We haven't gotten to the point of actually doing anything with someone, cause we can't agree. So, opinions on this, what to do, how to do it, are totally welcome.
    Thanks
    I'm just guessing, but it seems to me that you would welcome the attention of another woman, even sharing her with your husband, but you have no desire to share your husband with another man but would watch him with another man. After 22 years of marriage and not having strayed, I find your attitude understandable.

    Taking your statement of monogamy at face value, It's a very big step to bring in a third party this late in the relationship. Your willingness to she your husband receive pleasure from someone else is understandable, but you don't seem to be particularly excited about it; it's not your fantasy. You seem even less inclined to be intimate with another man. There is nothing wrong with these feelings.

    You don't say what your husband's reaction is to your desire to be with and possibly share him with another woman. Is it possible that he has the same attitude about your desire that you do about his?

    I have had the pleasure of having been married to two wonderful bi ladies and have shared many male and female lovers with both, but that type of sharing is not for everyone. Actually, I would say that I am probably in the minority. NjbiGuy01 is correct, a 3some can be an awesome thing, but everyone involved has to know what is expected and that should be decided ahead of time.

    You say you haven't gotten to the point of doing anything yet because you can't agree. Perhaps you both have some apprehension about having what tequilafan described take place. That there will become a future preference for having a third party involved. For 22 years you have satisfied each other's needs and it is reasonable to be apprehensive about taking a step that might jeopardize your relationship.

    I would advise you not to do anything that you fear will spoil the relationship you presently have unless it is thoroughly discussed ahead of time and you both actually agree to it without any feeling of coercion or "giving in." Do only that which will enhance your relationship, and nothing that will detract from it.

    If you want to go forward, how about considering acting on what you agree on? The suggestion of bicurcple of meeting with another couple and only having FF and MM intimacy is certainly an option. I'm not sure that you are ready for cornholejoe's gang bang idea.

    Another option is your watching him with another man and not being involved. You are certainly aware of his enjoyment of the anal activities, but you say you "don't mind it most times." That doesn't really seem to be an expression of excitement, but rather acceptance and tolerance. If, however, you are excited or turned on by the prospect of observing him with another man, there is always the possibility that you could change your mind during the playtime because the man is not producing the reactions in your husband that you like to see, i.e., seeing "him loose it." Don't be surprised if you find yourself giving directions or actually stepping in to give the other guy some guidance.

    The best 3some experiences occur when each party seeks to ensure that the other two are having the best time of their life and care little about their own pleasure. Also, everyone involved has to be uninhibited in both giving and receiving pleasure from the other two, regardless of gender.

    Whatever you do, please make sure your take time to discuss it, not only between you and your husband, but also with the third party. And never loose sight of the fact that you have a long and loving relationship that is more important that some experiment or fleeting fancy.
    The hardest part is not finding out who we need to be, it is being content with who we are.

  11. #11
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    One question, you didn't mention using a strapon with your husband. Have you actually taken him anally?

    You say you wouldn't mind your husband with another guy but you want no part of it. You wouldn't mind another woman. You expect him to participate when it's another woman but you want nothing to do with it if it's another man. That is the way the post reads to me. Sounds like you need to think long and hard before bringing anyone of any sex into your play until a compromise is reached and exact ground rules set.
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  12. #12
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    wow, you guys and gals are full of advice

    Let me clarify a few things, I have taken my husband with a strap on many, many times, he loves it, I love it.
    When I say "I don't mind it, most times" I refer to my selfish side, in which I want all the attention and to to be made love to endlessly. I am a selfish woman.
    I have told my husband all my reservations concerning myself with him and another man, and he understands perfectly, and bless his heart, thinks I am beautiful and that any man would think so.
    He also knows about my preference to have a woman with 'us' instead of a man.
    I also think that if and when my husband is with a man, he would be more concerned with my reactions and it would reduce his pleasure in the situation. I am very content with hearing all about it afterward, or even being in the room, directing (that would be a great idea, if comfort level allowed)
    I talk pretty big here but to be totally honest, I have never been with anyone but my husband, been with him since I was 15 and though the fantasy of another woman appeals to me, with or without my husband, another man touching me DOES NOT appeal. We are now talking about all of this because opportunities for us are coming up. We are going to be empty nesters soon. with our house to ourselves and finally an opportunity to have privacy without worrying about kiddos hearing, seeing, something they should not.
    I do appreciate all your thoughts. Thanks

  13. #13
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Then maybe the idea some one had of a full same-sex swap would be ideal for y'all? (MM FF). Of course the honesty and open communication route is also key. And as a few people have stated, discussing ground rules and comfort levels.
    “One who is too insistent on his own views, finds few to agree with him.” -Lao Tzu

  14. #14
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Lots of good advice here sister. My partner talks like you type about watching me lose it. We share our bed with men. The last thing I want in any of this is for either one of us to compromise ourselves in any way. I sure do like anal attention and love the way men feel, smell and move. I love the strength and assertiveness a man can deliver. (Women can be strong and assertive too, just differently). I love the way a man feels all over and there is nothing quite like a shiny hard cock that is not my own. My partner is very pragmatic about it all saying, "I can't give you what a man can so I am absolutley ok with and a you and a man sharing each other's body". She tells me she gets very turned on too. Which brings me to my poiint. When we first started to expore the notion of my bisexuality and what it meant to her, she wondered if the fluid nature of my desires would one day have me turning from her to men. I cited my long term (12 yr) relationships with two women in my life that ended for reasons other than sexuality. She continued the dialogue with me until she suggested that I get laid man style and come back to tell her what it was all like. I told her I could not do that. Some are comfortable with polyamory. I thought I was until confronted with more than the mere idea of it. Did a few fantasies roll through my mind? Yes. Fleetingly. Sex is an ultimate intimacy and, consequently, a level of intimacy I want my partner to share with me always. Is what I'm talking about possibly what your husband expresses when he says he wants you there? I want her to be involved too, partly because I don't want her to be left out even though she is an avid voyeur. I also want her to be involved because I find it very erotic and exciting. Finally, I believe compersion has a lot to do with how I feel about her involvement: the same desire she has to see me experience the joy of being sexual with a man.
    My partner and I are new to this and have not had many shared experiences. When we have, she has said she wants to watch. Like any good plan though, practice is often different than theory. She always gets too turned on to stay by the side and merely watch. I wouldn't be too worried about you being a distraction for him if you are involved. A great part of my arousal has to do with her being there, looking over at her to see the lust in her eyes as I mash my nose into a pubic mound while completely taking a man into my mouth, hearing her moans, seeing her bite her lip and watching her squirm in rapturous delight while another man takes her to ecstacy. (One must be secure in him or herself and their relationship to be able to enjoy such a thing though).
    Of course, this is only our story. Yours may well be very different and only you can really know what is appropriate for both of you. I wish you good fortune in whatever path you choose to take here at this particular crossroad of your life.
    Pay attention darlin'; life doesn't have a pause button.

  15. #15
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Answer: This is easy, "do as I say, don't do as I do" is the operation meaning here. Extreme jealousy and female "entitlement"* is in full force.


    *applical in this situation.

    Quote Originally Posted by tequilafan View Post
    Why is it okay for you to have a threesome with a woman, yet the threesome with a man is repulsive? If you two are just talking about the fantasy of a threesome, wouldn't it be fair to let him enjoy his fantasy? Reciprocation??

    I am not advocating you being pressured into an uncomfortable situation. I know for myself, I never wanted more than two women. When I had a girlfriend want two guys, I was sickened at the prospect. It took a long time, and a lot to talking to give in and let her have her fantasy. Eventually it got to the point of preferring another guy with me in the room... the two of us focused on one woman's body, bringing her to new levels of pleasure. After several MFMs, the idea of sucking cock didn't seem so repulsive, and, as they say, the rest is history.

    (I hope I don't need to don a flam suit! LOL)

  16. #16
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Quote Originally Posted by xxxbicuriouswoman View Post
    wow, you guys and gals are full of advice

    Let me clarify a few things, I have taken my husband with a strap on many, many times, he loves it, I love it.
    When I say "I don't mind it, most times" I refer to my selfish side, in which I want all the attention and to to be made love to endlessly. I am a selfish woman.
    I have told my husband all my reservations concerning myself with him and another man, and he understands perfectly, and bless his heart, thinks I am beautiful and that any man would think so.
    He also knows about my preference to have a woman with 'us' instead of a man.
    I also think that if and when my husband is with a man, he would be more concerned with my reactions and it would reduce his pleasure in the situation. I am very content with hearing all about it afterward, or even being in the room, directing (that would be a great idea, if comfort level allowed)
    I talk pretty big here but to be totally honest, I have never been with anyone but my husband, been with him since I was 15 and though the fantasy of another woman appeals to me, with or without my husband, another man touching me DOES NOT appeal. We are now talking about all of this because opportunities for us are coming up. We are going to be empty nesters soon. with our house to ourselves and finally an opportunity to have privacy without worrying about kiddos hearing, seeing, something they should not.
    I do appreciate all your thoughts. Thanks
    Wife here...I think it is absolutely wonderful that the two of you are entering a new stage of you lives: kids out of the house, exploring new heights in you marriage and sex life! Congrats!!! Just like everything else in your life, marrige and child rearing, you have met with differences in views and opinions thusly causing both of you to compromise. When you have been with the same person for so long, you learn that compromise is inevitable, if you love your mate.

    You are so very fortunate that you two are able to be so open and accepting of eachothers desire and wants. It seem that you truely want eachother to be happy. So I suggust you really think about what it is going to take to make eachother happy in your sexual endeavors. Really think about it and continue to talk because once you've invited someone else in, you can not undo it. Once you have decided that you are going to do "it," plan how you will fulfil those desires. This is were the compromise comes in. Why not take turns fulfilling eachothers fantasies.

    Daddy and I had different ideas, simular to your present situation. As we continued to TALK (communicate) and love eachother, his fantasies became mine and vice versa. Because seeing him enjoy himself makes me hot I am down, up, and open for almost anything and I do not feel abused, guilty, etc. The same goes for him. There is a steady stream of reciprocity!!!! There are way more possibilties now and I enjoy things I never though I would. Life is good.

  17. #17
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Quote Originally Posted by azirish View Post
    Answer: This is easy, "do as I say, don't do as I do" is the operation meaning here. Extreme jealousy and female "entitlement"* is in full force.


    *applical in this situation.

    You may be right, maybe jealousy has something to do with it. I do wonder if he would enjoy another man more than me, but I also wonder if he would enjoy another woman more than me. And he wonders the same thing. We have been married for almost 23 years, have a good life together and I think we would be extremely niave if WE didn't think these things. The difference is we talk about them. For myself, I don't want another man, I actually grimace at the thought of fooling around with another man (could be the catholic guilt here The thought of another man does not do anything for me, the thought of my husband with another man does, the thought of me and my husband with another woman, driving him crazy, does. The thought of watching my husband with another man certainly does as well.
    So, if it's jealousy, it doesn't really matter. I own it.

  18. #18
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    my husband also likes to be fucked.
    he has told me about his first man to man sexual experiance when he was 18 years old, his old landlord took him out and gave him some drinks, he got drunk and turned up the heat and they were watching some gay porn.
    then one thing lead to another, my husband then started sucking this dick to get it very hard, then he got his cherry poped.

    now that we are married, my husband loves to get fucked by men and women, i love to see my husband sucking another man get fucked it is really hot to see.
    when he first told me i was really up set about it. i did not want anything to do with him ar first. then i slowly gave in to him.
    i wish you the best of luck

  19. #19
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Been with my wife since 1990. When we were dating told her I was bi curious. (I didn't tell her that I was bisexual and been with lots of guys.) She thanked me for telling her. We started having anal her doing me. Then she would hold my legs over my head use a vibrator and watch as I jerked-off shooting my load in my open mouth. Then she threw a bomb on me. She said it's nice to be bicurious but she wouldn't want to see me with a guy. I started pushing a little in bed. I would grab her 8 in dildo and suck on it asking her if she wouldn't like to watch me suck. She said no fucking way. I said lets have a 3 way with another guy. She tells me it's not going to happen. She dose use all kinds of toys on me. So I don't push it anymore. She dose roll play in bed and dominates me because she knows thats what I like. I respect her wishes of not wanting to have a 3 way or watch me suck or get fucked. I tell her anytime she changes her mind I'll be ready. It's not everyone's cup of tea

  20. #20
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    After reading all or the answers that you have gotten here let me repate to things in my life.
    A lady that I lived with for a couple of years knew from the first evening that we met that I was bi.We had talked about it a lot and she got to love using a strapon on me. She ask me one night if I would like to bring a guy into our bed room.Hell Ya was my reply. She said that she did not want to do more than watch us together. She only watchedand got off to our play. In a couple of days she asked if we could do it again. She only watched and played wih herself. After that she would bring it up almost daily. About the third of fourth time that we had someone over I was on hands and knees waiting on him to enter me.When his head started pushing against me I also felt a hand on him. It was her guiding him in. She got under me and she came harder that in her life according to her as we 69 while I was being topped.After that she looked forward to it even more than I did.
    What I am saying is if you feel comfortable watching him taking it, set it up. Do what you are comfortable with.You comfort zone may widen. It may not, but you will not know until you live it. It may turn you off totally. It may turn you on more than you could know, with out going there.
    Good luck and happy playtime.

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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    It took seven responses before somebody brought up -- gently -- your double standard. You'd love to have a mww threesome with play between the other woman and your husband and between her and you; yet you're revolted by the idea of a second man being as free with him and you.

    We all are where we are with bisexual impulses and desires, and we all have a right to be whereever we are so long as we don't harm someone else; but you should realize and admit you will allow yourself more pleasure and diversity that you want him to enjoy.

    "Just saying."

  22. #22
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Got that right JoeGetting it from a lady and a couple of guys is very nice.

  23. #23

    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    i have found a dildo just doesnt satisfy that urge to be fucked. right now i am playing with my dildo and i wish it was a real penis

  24. #24
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    You have that right Chaps. I am riding one of my toys now. Sure wish it was real or a lady was wearing it.

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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    Had an ex girlfriend that loved anal sex. Always said she preferred me in her as while she worked a vibrator on her clit. Waiting for her to get off the phone & back into bed I found an erotica book with many pages folded over. They were all ones of 2 men together. When she found me with her book (and a raging hardon) she asked if it interested me. We wound up getting her a strapon and each time she pegged me she'd say "You've got to feel the real thing, its so much better." Damned if she wasn't right! She loved watching 2 men together but didn't want to participate. At least at first.

  26. #26
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    blusky55, that sounds very similar to my ex gf and to a certain degree my current wife...both are amazingly accomplished fuckers with their strap ons but the real thing is better. My ex got to watch me with another guy on several occasions, my wife has yet to but she is very interested in the idea.

  27. #27
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    Re: my husband likes to be fucked

    BICURIOUS It could well be that that he fears that you may think him QUEER if you do not play as well. He may even feel like he is Queer instead of being BI. Before you procede make sure that all feeling are understood. It could be a beautiful thing and enhance your relationship. It also could be a relationship killer. I have seen it work both ways. Talk, understand, love.

 

 

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