I am dealing with an issue I fear many of us are, lack of sexual opportunity leads to sexual frustration. My own frustration is integrally tied to where I live. The Midwest is not a hotbed of openminded thought, or cultural diversity. In some areas of the country you can't swing a dead cat without hitting someone at least open enough to at least entertain the idea of bi sex. Here is quite a different story. I am stuck here because of familial obligations and feel utterly stifled by the culture of conformity here. We come to places like this one here at Bisexual.com to widen the possibilities, but without the internet we are reduced to bathhouses and swing clubs, neither of which exactly fit our needs. The gay community argues whether bisexuals actually exist and chide us with accusations that we should all just come out of the closet and be gay. The swing community accepts and even reveres bisexual women ( the unicorn concept) and vilifies bisexual men as the scourge of the community. With these attitudes in place, neither community is a good fit for us. Being bisexual is no easy prospect, but straight people think we have every sexual possibility in the world. According to them we are fucking everything that walks and have twice the sexual possibilities that they do. When in reality we have a very hard time finding, contacting and having sex with those of like minds. The truth is, if not for boards like this we'd be masturbating constantly ( like some of us still aren't coming here specifically for that purpose) and about to explode from lack of an outlet. The jist of all this is that we are probably MORE. Sexually frustrated because we are all caught between communities and are forced to remain in the shadows of all of them. We all want more sex, or we wouldn't be here. But, we need healthy outlets to exercise our sexual needs. We need to be brainstorming and working together to create more ways to exercise our sexuality. This particular venue here at Bisexual.com is as close to a good example as I have found. It at least gives us a sense of community and fosters our need to feel like we are not alone in our quest for sexual satisfaction.
I guess what I am trying to express here is my frustration about how difficult it is to express our bisexuality. Acceptance is hard to find and expression is even harder to acquire. I appreciate this forum for its communal aspects, it's not exactly a personals site, although it would be better in my own opinion if it were more of one. We all want to find what we are searching for, and in the end it's about sexual satisfaction. But, who wants a life long search for it, what we want is the pot at the end of the rainbow, not the constant search for it. We need to foster more ways as a community for us to attain and end the constant quest. So many of us are stuck in sexless relationships and bad marriages, not exactly good paths to the promised land. Often enough, many of us are forced to lurk in the shadows and keep our sexuality secreted. I am lucky in that my own partner is bisexual as well and we are open with each other about it. But our own quest is only slightly less difficult because we aren't open as a community. How we resolve these issues is yet to be determined but we need to open discussion of how to gain more ways to be satisfied in our sexuality.
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