Originally Posted by
RisingBi
Hi all my fellow bisexual, bicurious, and gay readers and posters--men and women!
I'm a single, never married, 57 year old bisexual man. Other than childhood experimentation, I was totally straight in my feelings, interests, and desires until I hit 30 years of age. As a virgin, I met my first girlfriend and fell in love when I was 27! Up until then it was just rejection after rejection with girls & women. But when my first girlfriend broke up with me at 30, I had a rough time, not unlike, well, everyone else in the world that gets their heart broken!
But unlike most people perhaps, my mind within a couple months turned to fantasies about guys, perhaps as a distraction from the pain, perhaps from an underlying bisexuality that was always there unconsciously. I began indulging in a growing amount of gay porn, and eventually intense gay lust drove me out to all kinds of gay sex venues for anonymous oral sex with men--for the next couple of decades! I still dated women, because I was really attracted to them and wanted to get married someday, have children, and have a great job, a house with a white picket fence, etc. But most of the dates were only one date, a few second dates, and only a couple third dates, and then rejection, without any make out sessions or sex of any kind. I was a nice guy, good in the looks department, charming, interesting, and funny, but the lack of self-confidence probably shone through, which is never good. Every disappointment with a woman always intensified the gay porn until it drove me out again looking for more sex with guys. In 2013, my experiences with guys turned anal as well, which helped me connect with my inner bisexuality in a stronger way, and I stopped all anonymous sex and changed it to more personal get-togethers.
In 2016 I fell in love with my second girlfriend, so I stopped getting together with guys. But after a very tumultuous 3-year relationship, I ended it a couple of weeks ago. So I have come to this forum, I guess to indulge in my gay fantasies again, read about others' experiences, talk about my experiences, fantasies, and hopes, and discuss sexuality and figure myself out, and maybe help others as well. I also of course anticipate starting to get together with men again for sex sometime in the near future.
Thank you greatly,
Jack
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