Originally Posted by
CockHummer
I find that whole issue quite confusing. When I try to figure out what it is about men that turns me on, I am more struck by what doesn't turn me on about them.
I do not find men erotically attractive. Even when I am quite convinced that I want a man, I go out into public and try to look at men in the same way that I see women, and I'm back to wondering what I was thinking about in the first place. I know when a man is handsome and well-built, but I don't find either feature to be particularly attractive to me or an erotic turn-on. If I see an athletic man, I may be impressed that he takes good care of himself, but it does not stimulate me erotically to picture him naked. I do not find that a man dressing in a particular way turns me on, in the way that a woman wearing a revealing or suggestive outfit or one that enhances some part of her anatomy will turn me on. It is quite common when I am out in public for my eyes to stray to a woman's breasts or bottom or her legs or the beautiful features of her face, but if I see an athletic man and look at his bulging arms, there is nothing erotically attractive about it for me. I similarly fail to find myself staring at a man's butt or crotch, in the way that I so readily gaze at some anatomic features of women, but if I do just by chance, it is not in any sense stimulating to me.
When I look at porn images, in terms of male:male sex, I am most interested in still images of big, hot cocks and balls. To watch men kissing and hugging or massaging each other's breasts looks downright silly to me. I find myself wondering if I might enjoy it, because it really can't feel much different than sucking face with a woman, but that really turns me on, and trying to fantasize about doing it with another man, while it doesn't turn me off, does not turn me on, either. As much as I think I'd like to be both a top and a bottom in anal sex with a male, and to fantasize doing so while jerking off can really stimulate me, to watch it in videos turns me off, and looking at the men's butts in sex videos is not a turn-on. In picturing having anal sex with a male, the concept of being passively fucked or of actively controlling a man is not part of it. I just figure either one would feel really good, sexually. While I enjoy stimulating a woman's anus with my fingers and tongue, the idea of playing with another guy's anus or licking it really turns me off. I prefer watching lesbian porn to watching gay male porn by far and find it way more stimulating. One of the most stimulating sorts of porn for me is the so-called futanari porn, where a beautiful and shapely woman has a big (and in terms of what turns me on, not ridiculously big) cock and balls. At the same time that is true, I don't get tranny porn, at all, because I know they are, in one sense, men, and I recognize how unfair it is for me to say that, but it is what I feel. I would just love to have a woman with a really nice cock!
I do not feel romantically attracted to men, either. When I am with a woman I find attractive, I feel like I want to be part of a relationship with her. Even with strange women that I run across out in public, it is common for me to think, as I talk with them, that it would be nice if we had some sort of a relationship going on. That may be sexual, but I find I more generally am attracted to women, even in non-sexual ways. When I get involved with men, there is more of a sense of convenience, as in if we find we share common interests, it can be fun to do them together as friends sharing common interests, but that is the extent of the involvement.
In the end, the only thing that I find attractive in men is the idea of sucking, fondling, and otherwise playing with their cock and balls, smelling their musk, stimulating them to the point that they cum, and having them return the favor in all of those regards. That is more erotically stimulating to me, ironically, than sexual involvement with a woman's genitals, but I am very turned on by that, as well, and given the overall sense in which I am far more attracted to women and have stronger feelings toward women, and I do not want to have sex just for the sake of sex, and do not want to be in any sense promiscuous, I have elected to be involved entirely with women, aside from passing involvement with a couple of gay and bisexual male partners when I was a teen. I have always had a strong enough sex drive, that I could enjoy taking full part in a straight sexual relationship and partnership, while enjoying masturbating with powerful fantasies of male-male sex in between. I have always been frightened of sexually acquired infections, so have always wanted to be faithfully involved with a person who I understood to be "clean". It has allowed me always to have sex without use of condoms, and for that reason, I want to be faithful both for my sake and for the sake of my partners.
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