One more argument for the old miranda: "Anything you say can and will be held against you"Originally Posted by PusandCkWorshipper
That's why since I believe we don't live in a perfect world, is best to keep private about some aspects of your life
One more argument for the old miranda: "Anything you say can and will be held against you"
That's why since I believe we don't live in a perfect world, is best to keep private about some aspects of your life
Have to admit that I agree with pole_smoker in this instance. It may not work for everyone, but my way of living dictates that I'm open and honest with my wife. She has been great, and deserves my candor, fidelity and respect.
I realize that this type of disclosure may be harmful to some relationships. This is a decision that's between an individual and his/her conscience.
Ditto. Just turned away two more married guys yesterday.
FIRE IN THE BELLY
I started having struggles with an incident with an older man when I was young. I was diagnosed with ptsd. I have always had a desire that would come and go to be with older men. I acted out on it until I was into my mid 20's. Everything was hetro until I started having flashbacks. I started struggling with bi desires. I didn't know if they were mine or because of the incident. There is a lot of shame in having an orgasm when something was done against your will. I am still not sure if I really am attracted to men or if I just want a guy to abuse my throat because of what happened as a youngster. Either way told my wife of 20 years, she left, said some pretty nasty things to my friends and family. I have a new girlfriend, very understanding, I am going to tell her that I am bi, she deserves to know.
Id love to meet you in a XXX theater one day.
For me, I have changed drastically since I have married my wife of 15 years. I had absolutely zero thought about other guys before about 5 years ago. So I know for 100% certainty that she would not be OK with my having fun with another guy. She did however stick around with my one extra marital affair with a woman, she under stood where it came from, and we both moved from it. If it were another guy I was messing around with, HELL NO, she wold be gone in a second. All of this being said, if we do eventually split up, it will not be because I told her that I like other guys. And If we do go our separate ways, when I start dating again, I will definitely tell my partner what I am into sexually when the time is right.
Sorry if I repeated a lot of the other comments, but I did not read all of them...
Yes I am married ,Bi and in the closet
For the people who think it’s ok to lie to a spouse and cheat on you, let's flip it. Do you think you deserve to have your spouse lie and keep things from you, and cheat on you?
Somehow I doubt the answer will be as easy or the same because no one in their right mind wants a bunch of huge lies and secrets from a spouse, or to be cheated on by a spouse.
Last edited by pole_smoker; Aug 21, 2015 at 8:36 PM.
Typical excuse of a coward that lives in the closet and who is ashamed of being bisexual.
Typical response of someone who cannot offer proof of their authority to judge others. No, this not a judgement, only an observation.Typical excuse of a coward that lives in the closet and who is ashamed of being bisexual.
Hello, I play on the side , but I watch it very closely! I do a lot of side work so very once and a while I will pull the card (side job )
she did find my e mail once with some very incriminating stuff on it ! But I have told her that I just playing , and she know that I have some gay friends too ! Some I play with and some that don't know .
Exp1959 @ yahoo.com. , firebird19
My wife is one of the most amazing people on the planet. She knows and is fine with my bi-side.
I have had bi-desires since I was a teenager, and like many it would come and go, and then for a long time through my 30's and most of my 40's wasn't a thing at all. Then they started to come back and much stronger. I never acted on these desires because to do so I felt would be to be unfaithful. Several years ago I worked up the courage and told her one night, but I played it down as "how weird is that?". Not much was said again about for a long time. I found out only later that this had had a big impact on her, from feelings of inadequacy on her part to resentment towards me. From other experiences that would take to much to describe here, I can totally understand this reaction. Over time she became accustom to, then respecting of, then accepting of this part of me. Now, I'm just her husband, not her 'husband with some bi thing going on'. That said, it's not anything she is interested in participating in with me. Just not her thing and of course I respect that.
When got into Swinging it afforded me the opportunity to act on my desires. These desires still eb & flow. Right now, i'm all about the girls, but I am sure it will come around again. The cool thing is, I don't have to worry about it one way or another, thanks to her.
I guess I'm truly lucky. My wife and I are both bi. She started experimenting with women before I did, but I wasn't far behind her, and we are both supportive of each other's desires. She has a completely open hall pass to play with whoever she wants, whenever she wants, as long as she tells me either before or as soon as possible after. She's not quite as comfortable with me playing as I am with her, so I ask if she's OK with it if I want to play without her. Regardless, we've played with bi couples, single bi men, and single bi women together, and it's all good!
Couples who play together stay together!
That's not necessarily true that "couples who 'play' together stay together!".
I have yet to meet anyone in an open relationship who claims to "'play' together only" who has never cheated on their partner, or who have broken the rules/boundaries they set up with their partner/spouse so they could cheat on them.
Simply because you have not, does not imply, infer they do not exist. Reality still exists if you live in it, or not, believe in it or not.
I would not be surprised if both you and your "wife" have cheated on each other, since you have an open marriage.
Oh you make me laugh something terribly so. Not cheating when she has told me about it and I knew beforehand. The same as she has known. Being an open marraige, we each approve. Not cheating when there is honesty and openness. But sure, go on make me laugh some more. :-|
At times, I wonder if I wasted the better part of you by pulling out of your momma too soon, son. Other times, like now, I know I did. Sorry for that my boy. Come get you some pappa luvins, you gonna need 'em.
Last edited by void(); Aug 24, 2015 at 6:28 PM.
I agree with you, Void. It's not cheating if it's out in the open & each partner in the relationship agrees to it. Cheating involves deceit, betrayal - a grievous wound to attempt to heal.Was just approached earlier today by 2 couples looking for a 3rd male on a site I rejoined. Unfortunately, they live too far away.
FIRE IN THE BELLY
In response to the original ad................there are far more bi married guys than anyone knows.
I know all too well; I've made it known here that the majority of bi men in my immediate area are married & cheating. So, what's your point ? Are you claiming justification through " strength in numbers? "
FIRE IN THE BELLY
Nope, its the truth.
So, you're trying to announce some sort of declaration of profound truth that the rest of us that have been here for years aren't aware of ?
FIRE IN THE BELLY
i am not announcing anything. I answered a question and thats it
Alright. Now, I ask you something in that reagard. If you can see how it is not cheating, would you (specifically you) still consider it adultry? And I am only asking your best reasoned opinion, as a friend. I am curious what you think. I do not want The Law quoted but what you think. If I recall The Law says only thou shalt not covet. I do not covet. Sure I may see Joe has some things easier and think it must be nice. Yet I do not desire what Joe uses, who Joe loves. So what ya think?I agree with you, Void. It's not cheating if it's out in the open & each partner in the relationship agrees to it. Cheating involves deceit, betrayal - a grievous wound to attempt to heal.
Ok, the first thing I question in attempting to answer this is when you emphasize " ( specifically you) ." Why specifically me ?
I don't know what you mean by The Law except if I interpret your mention of covetousness as a clue, you're referring to The Ten Commandments. I'm sure that character flaw is not considered illegal.
Honestly, I've pondered this myself but never really tried to pursue it. Now that you're pressing me for an opinion, I would have to agree with the standard dictionary definition of adultery and say yes, technically, it's still adultery.
Hope that answers your question; hope you answer mine; why "specifically" me?
FIRE IN THE BELLY
Like I said, wanted a friends opinion. And yes The Law, I was considering was the Ten Commandments. In my humble opinion the New Testement of the great teacher Jesus, revised the Old Testement. Jesus was asked what the greatest part of The Law was, what to uphold. "Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Love all your brothers and sisters for you are all brothers and sisters." I now that's paraphrasing yet the gist of it is that.
Thank you for your view.
Yes, according to the dictionary definition of "Adultery," my wife and I are both adulterous... often together in the same room, and always with each others' full and enthusiastic support and encouragement. And the problem is?????
As for cheating, no. We are not cheating and we are not being unfaithful. My wife and I were married by a judge. We wrote our own vows specifically omitting the part of forsaking all others. The promise that we made to each other was that we would love, support, and cherish each other for the rest of our lives. These promises have not been broken. We are faithful and true to each other even as I watch her slide herself down on another man's cock.
And as for the statement that Pole_smoker made about not knowing anyone in the lifestyle who has stayed together, I suspect that he may have limited experience with lifestyle couples. We know many long-time swingers. My wife and I were both unfaithful in previous relationships, but when you can turn to your spouse and say, "I want to have sex with that guy," that kind of openness, honesty, and trust are exactly the kind of qualities required in a solid, stable relationship. There's no need to cheat and go behind your spouse's back when they fully support you in fulfilling a physical desire with their full knowledge. And the openness, honesty, trust, and communication required to make that work pervades our entire lives together. She and I feel that we have an amazingly rock-solid and stable relationship.
Many won't understand us. Some are disgusted and don't want to understand. Some are taught that we are wrong. Period.
This is a site for alternative sexual preferences. I suspect that many of you who consider yourselves to be bisexual or who are questioning your sexual status may initially have a negative reaction to my wife and I , but how are we different than you? Bisexuality is also not accepted by many, whether the basis be in religion, prejudicial attitudes instilled from family or society, ignorance, or simple closed minds.
Regardless, my wife and I are a very happily married bisexual non-monogomous couple. I feel badly for those of you who feel that you can't be open about your personal sexual thoughts, desires, urges, or cravings. In our personal opinion and experience, it's great to be open about it all with your partner!
Thank you for this.
I think the difference is, and I'm not judging, is that being bisexual is very different from acting on your bisexuality. I don't believe it's a sin or illegal to be bisexual, that is having attraction to either sex. I don't think it's a sin to be attracted to another woman if you're married but acting on it, according to religions, IS a sin.
People have negative reactions to all sorts of human behavior. Maybe they should just mind their own business.
You both cheated on your ex partners, so eventually you will lie and cheat on each other.
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