When was the FIRST time you realised you were Bi?

[loopfruits]

I'm looking forward to being irritated and confused, lol. The best parts of life, I say!

Thanks for the kind welcome and understanding.

[olly_21]

Been on my mind and confusing me since i was 14 years old, in chat rooms talking to guys and got turned on by sex talk with them. Tried to fight it since then (now 22) and only fully accepted it and admitted it to myself just a week ago. I tried things with guys since i was 16, and always tried to tell myself, no i didnt enjoy it, i dont like guys. But i did enjoy it, and i do like guys sexually. I like girls, and have a gf atm, and she knows im bi and is ok with it. Just that i wasent ok with it for 8 years, even though deep down i guess i knew i was, so yhe only recently did i admit to myself, ok i know i like women, but i also like men. And do you know what, after 8 years of confusion, trying to fight it, trying not to like guys in a sexual way, i an finally happy, and i enjoy it that i am a greedy guy who likes both!

[MrDeville]

For starters, I'm a 51 yr old bi mwm. I discovered my sexuality when I turned 40, about 11 yrs ago. Up to that time, I always considered myself straight but due to circumstances beyond my control, I got bit by the "bicuriosity bug and I've been bi ever since. Being a married man and a dad, I try to conceal it whenever I can but it's always lurking out, as many of you know. So I need to be very discreet at all times.

[Lady_Passion]

I didn't know what bi was, but upon reflection first noticed it when other girls were equally and sometimes more attractive to me than boys. I remember thinking it seemed odd girls were always after boys and less each other.

And then there were the few times girls approached me directly, at which point I was sufficiently confused by religious and societal influences that I ended up pushing aside my attraction for women. That backfired for a long time. Never felt wholly committed to a man because something always seemed to be missing. Yet women annoyed me to no end with cattiness, jealousy and 3rd grade behavior among themselves and toward men, generally speaking.

I've always empathized with men about girl toys 'cause I see them as such myself. Not that women aren't people by any means and not that I don't have a close female friend to whom I am not sexually attracted at all, just that I've never had romantic inclinations towards women, only purely sexual attractions. I've never looked at a woman and thought I could have a lot of fun with one outside sex, or felt differently even if I got to know a woman I was attracted to. Just hot, sexy girl toys Is that bad?

[bemyonlyone]

I think it is. Women have more to offer than just their bodies. Women are complete people, just like men are, and have brains and emotions and likes and dislikes.

If I were you I would examine why you feel that way.

[ErosUrge]

Wow!; where to begin?....
I know for a fact that it started when I was just a boy and with other boys in the bathtub when left to bathe by our parents...the usual curiosity of seeing each others penises and then fondling one another and getting excited seeing the others get hard and then my own reacting to it.
And then as I got older into my teens I had certain encounters at age 12 and 13 with another boy my age who lived 4 houses down and would come over whenever my parents left to run errands and we'd suck each other and jack each other off...and it continued with other guys from the area who hid the fact. One encounter was particularly a turn on at the swimming pool. Again it was at about the age of 12 or 13 and he would swim under water and play with my cock through my bathing suit giving me a real stiffy where I couldn't step out of the pool without it being obvious......
All this time my fascination and interest in girls was also very intense and I also had experiences with the girls too....the girls intrigued me more because it didn't happen as easily with them. But when it did, it was like magic; I always felt like I was in a trance. So though I was interested in both sexes, something about the girls always was more intense on an emotional level. With the guys, it was always and only about the sex as it has been to this day.
In my late teens and early twenties I decided to be open about it after reading, "Stranger in a Strange Land" by Heinlein and then also the influence of David Bowie who at the time was very open about being bi. But for some reason once I reached my mid twenties I became paranoid about being bi and then didn't want to be bi anymore and went into intense denial about it. This was a struggle that continued for years and I hid my urges and desires from everyone except those guys I played with of course. But the more I tried to deny to myself that these things were real in me, the more complicated my life became and miserable too. No matter how much I adored the women in my life, I just could never shake my desire for the need for male sex from time to time. My first wife knew accepting and allowing me to play with males. And my next serious relationship with a woman after that marriage also knew and allowed it too and even encouraged it. Just as long as I never crossed the boundary to play with women besides her. Both of these women never felt threatened by my encounters but for some reason I always felt it was wrong at that time and would return back to them feeling guilty. Strange.
It wasn't until 1998 when I finally once and for all made peace with it and stopped hiding it from everyone and especially from the women in my life after the two mentioned above. Prior to 1998, it was a very miserable time as I was so much in denial but continued to act out. It became a deep dark secret and I hated myself for hiding it from those women who never knew. And the more I tried to deny it, the more I felt the urge for it. It was such a relief when I finally came to terms with it and accepted it....in fact, it was beautiful. At least now I can live with myself about it.
I don't wear my sexuality on my sleeve and there are still some who don't know. But if they were to find out, I now know I wouldn't panic as I would have 15 years ago.....
It's great to be open and accepting within yourself about your sexuality regardless of whether gay, bi, tg, or straight...
Always a lengthy reply I know, but one thing leads to another...thanks for reading.

[olly_21]

Really like ErosUrge's reply there. I can relate to that bigtym. When you are in denial about it, its so difficult. The urges are there to have sex with other men, or to look at bi porn or whatever. And you try to fight it, you try to convince yourself that these arent real, or ok this time ill think about it or do it, but thats the last time. But in actual fact, these feelings are very real. Same with me, my interest for me is purely on a sexual level,abd only recently after 8 years of confusion, denial, have i sat down and finally admitted to myself that im bi, and these urges are real. And now i feel so free, altho telling other people is something i dont want to do right now. But to admit it to myself makes me feel happy, and a feling of releif, to admit that yes i do like men sexually, i get turned on by them, and i want to have sex with them. Women for me are still the number one if you like, and my current girlfriend is ok with me bieing bi. But in the future with any girl im with, i want to be able to tell her that im bisexual, and for her to be ok with it, and for me to feel free, and not trapped. I want to continue to have relationships with women, and sexual ones with men. Long reply to!

[Lady_Passion]

I think it is. Women have more to offer than just their bodies. Women are complete people, just like men are, and have brains and emotions and likes and dislikes.

If I were you I would examine why you feel that way.

I think it's an innate physical attraction and having never been romantically inclined toward a woman.

I didn't imply women are not complete people or that we don't have brains and emotions and likes and dislikes :.) I certainly do. Would never assume that of anyone. Just not romantically inclined toward women, so I get it when other people aren't. Otherwise, I love everything about women They smell so good, soft and curvy, tasty.... *sigh*

[*Larissa*]

Hey evrybdy Before I fully realized that I was Bi, every once in awhile there would be another girl that I thought was really pretty and would think to myself, this would b really akward if I was a lesbian. And also feeling like I strangely wanted to be near her, look, and... touch?no, of course not! I really really liked guys after all. Well, not to blame my parents, but they raised me strictly as Christian and " strongly disapproved" of homosexual lifestyles- which made me ignore my feelings until I developed independent thought at age17. After I had slept with guys, I felt I was still missing something. Then I saw her. In my gym class(yes and changing in locker rooms) an innocent, shy, beautiful girl crossed my path and I couldn't get her out of my mind. She made me realize I was bi because I visualized exactly what girls can do to each other. I talked to her and was sure she was gay, but I read the signals wrong. I told her I'm bi and we're still friends today, but she'll never know she broke my heart! Sry long post but I'm a newb on this site and a newb to being bi- this was a year ago.

[bemyonlyone]

I think it's an innate physical attraction and having never been romantically inclined toward a woman.

I didn't imply women are not complete people or that we don't have brains and emotions and likes and dislikes :.) I certainly do. Would never assume that of anyone. Just not romantically inclined toward women, so I get it when other people aren't. Otherwise, I love everything about women They smell so good, soft and curvy, tasty.... *sigh*

Yeah but you referred to them (us) as toys.

I guess...as someone who is mentally and emotionally attracted to women, it's hard for me to understand only liking them physically. In fact, I am always more attracted to a person's mind than anything else.

I would not want to be involved with someone who only liked women for physical reasons, I would get pissed off. I mean, what are you supposed to do, just have sex with her and then say goodbye? What about conversation? You're honestly saying you don't want anything from women except sex? That's ...hmm. Yeah. OK then.

[loopfruits]

^I think that's one of the reasons I found my sexual orientation confusing. With women I don't find sexually attractive unless there is some type of emotional connection. Although, women on tv shows/movies are exceptions to this lol. But one could argue you do develop a sort of connection to the character. I just never had the experience of seeing a pretty lady on the street and having the urge to throw her on the ground and fool around. Obviously I think they are attractive, but wouldn't move things to another level. With men though, I don't need that emotional connection. I guess its more of an animal thing.

[Lady_Passion]

^
^

I'll go with loopfruits and concede it's my animal side with a tendency toward being more primal sexually. I see it, I want it BAD! Not that I give in to every urge, though if less evolved I might.

Honestly, I admit I am as bad as some men. When there is nice cleavage in front of me or perfectly perky breasts, I can barely talk eye-to-eye. And though I prefer men over women, I hate it when men do that to me, but love it when women stare at me. In fact, I shamelessly encourage it. There's a double standard for someone to parse *lol*

[loopfruits]

Who doesn't check out someone's cleavage?

There's this girl in one of my classes who is constantly looking over at me with what I think is "the look." Who knows if it really is though...

[Lady_Passion]

Haha! Next time you catch her watching you, smile then casually run one hand from the inside of your knee up your inner thigh toward the outside of your hip or pocket. Watch where her eyes linger :.) Unless she's a tough cookie, you'll have your answer quick enough. People have difficulty not looking when they're caught by surprise.

[loopfruits]

Thanks for the tip, lol! I think I'll give it a whirl.

[bemyonlyone]

I stared at my friend's cleavage. I find it really hard to ignore bare skin, whether it belongs to a man or a woman. But I can control myself from looking.

[loopfruits]

I have a thing for a woman's bare shoulders. Should we not talk about this in here? Its sort of off topic, and I'm just not sure what the rules about that kind of stuff are here.

[Lady_Passion]

I love bare shoulders... women or men. Not off topic at all, I think. The first time I recall being attracted to women was watching an older girl, probably 18 or 19, at a swimming pool. I still remember how her swimsuit fit, nicely rounded ass, the muscles in her back as she pulled herself out of the water on the edge of the pool, the shapeliness of long thighs, and when she turned around the smooth line of her neck gracefully stretched like a swan as she turned around.... *warm in here*

[bemyonlyone]

Yeah, I'm kind of a rubbernecker when it comes to what you just described. I know it's rude to gawk but it's hard to help it sometimes.

Yet I don't like when others look at me...such a hypocrite I am. lol.

[ErosUrge]

I'm not sure how the last entries including this one I am adding have to do with the topic actually; somewhat related but in a roundabout way. But I somehow felt compelled to add my thoughts to some of the last posts here.
I really do understand the comments made earlier about experiences where attraction for some isn't fulfilling unless it's both mental and physical as I too have had those moments as well. But they are reserved for those who I am interested in on a more emotional and deeper level.
I take odds with the comment(s) in that it sounded like anyone who is interested in the physical only is somehow inferior for admiring and indulging in that way....
It is my preference to have substance in a relationship with someone that means something to me of course like anyone else. But there's also that side of me that enjoys the moment for the moment where passion and the willing to surrender to the moment is what's important. And it is with women that I primarily seek beauty,intelligence, sexual passion, and become emotional with. With men it is primarily physical and sexual passion. Contrary to what some believe, it is possible to enjoy the physical for only the physical and be very filled with that for the moment and for what it is, whether male or female....I don't think people should try to promote that the combination of intelligence and physical attraction are superior yet I understand why people do. Like anyone else, I also enjoy beauty and intelligence...it has a certain quality that is absent from just the physical to say the least. But I don't have to have both to enjoy the moment physically with someone to take it to the level of erotic joy and ecstasy. Again, all the better if there is a mental quality with the individual which is always an added bonus...but to reach the spirit of erotic bliss can be done if we're willing to let go of certain points of view that cloud our vision...then again maybe it's me who has clouded vision here.