Questions about Men and Women - Masculine versus Feminine

[dowmass]

Hello folks

I have been meaning to ask these questions for quite some time. Many of us are bisexual ? So this might be the right place to get answers.

1. What is this thing calld ? MASCULINE or FEMININE, AKA FEM between two men? I have come across men say ?I don?t like fem? ? only interested in MASCULINE bottoms. I am not interested in anyone wearing a dress or panties.
That gets me thinking. When getting topped or having his man- pussy fucked, would that not be a feminine act?.

I would imagine that the man doing the fucking Is a doing a Masculine act By that definition, is it not feminine to get fucked by another man? Then, what does a masculine bottom mean?

2. As a bisexual:
Do you find anal intercourse with a man different from a woman?
When you have anal with a woman, is the experience, reaction, behavior different?
Between the two genders, who is more accepting of anal sex? Do men and Women react differently to anal orgasm?

[dicktrobing]

Hello folks

I have been meaning to ask these questions for quite some time. Many of us are bisexual ? So this might be the right place to get answers.

1. What is this thing calld ? MASCULINE or FEMININE, AKA FEM between two men? I have come across men say ?I don?t like fem? ? only interested in MASCULINE bottoms. I am not interested in anyone wearing a dress or panties.
That gets me thinking. When getting topped or having his man- pussy fucked, would that not be a feminine act?.

I would imagine that the man doing the fucking Is a doing a Masculine act By that definition, is it not feminine to get fucked by another man? Then, what does a masculine bottom mean?

Fem is where a guy acts more female, its about attitude and the way they act, a Fem can be a top. Masculine is again attitude and the way a guy acts. An interesting dynamic is a Fem top and a Masculine bottom.

2. As a bisexual:
Do you find anal intercourse with a man different from a woman?
When you have anal with a woman, is the experience, reaction, behavior different?
Between the two genders, who is more accepting of anal sex? Do men and Women react differently to anal orgasm?

Anal sex with either a man or a woman is different in that a guy has his prostate to play with, which means you can make a guy orgasm easier, with women its a bit more difficult butt playing with their clit during anal sex can be wild

Most guys who meet for guy on guy fun will take anal, there are exceptions of course where as most women who meet guys for sex their anus is off limits although quite a few I know enjoy using strapons in guys arses

[bithunder]

When I was a youngster, my mother used to accuse me of being "easily led". Maybe she was right.
I see tops and bottoms differently than feminine and masculine - bottoms being rather easy going and somewhat passive - tops being more controlling and aggressive. By this definition I'm a bottom which, in fact is true. I also believe everyone is different, both in kind and degree. The most important thing I have learned about my sexuality is to be at ease and be easygoing in my relationships and the fun will follow.

[Warmnsalty]

dicktrobing-- Fem is where a guy acts more female, its about attitude and the way they act, a Fem can be a top. Masculine is again attitude and the way a guy acts. An interesting dynamic is a Fem top and a Masculine bottom.

Spot on answer. As to anal with guys vs girls, I've found few women who enjoy anal, my wife loves it but she's a rare find. With guys, if you're going to fuck there's no other option than anal. I've never understood the fixation some guys have on giving girls anal. Though my wife loves it, given the choice between fucking a pussy or ass... I'll take pussy every time. When I fuck with guys, I'm almost always the bottom. Everyone is wired differently, most guys asses aren't a turn on for me... unless it's a smooth twink Then I'll gladly top.

[dowmass]

When I was a youngster, my mother used to accuse me of being "easily led". Maybe she was right.
I see tops and bottoms differently than feminine and masculine - bottoms being rather easy going and somewhat passive - tops being more controlling and aggressive. By this definition I'm a bottom which, in fact is true. I also believe everyone is different, both in kind and degree. The most important thing I have learned about my sexuality is to be at ease and be easygoing in my relationships and the fun will follow.

I absolutely understand, but what?s weird is that some tops do not like ?fem? bottoms. Like they believe that a panty wearing bottom is ?fem? - something they dislike. Online I?ve had tops tell me that they would always prefer a ?masculine? top. Thats a concept I don?t understand.

Agreed that because the bottom wears lingerie or panties he?s ?fem?. What then could make a bottom ?masculine??
By these loose definitions, even a masculine bottom would be ?fem? because he sucks cock and gets fucked ? and these are roles traditionally performed by a woman. I am just confused.

[KDaddy23]

There are men who want their bottoms to... act like men and I literally mean the bottom should take the dick like a man, respond like a man and, well, not act like a girl. I've seen guys dissing fem guys for a lot of years now and, sure, there are fem tops (and I happened to run into one a long time ago) so it gets confusing in that the masculine guy is, well, the man in the sex act and the fem guy is supposed to be the girl in the sex act but masculine and feminine are behavior traits and I've met guys who, prior to sex, were 100% masculine in their behaviors and 100% feminine when we hit the sheets, which threw me for a loop until I got to understand, well, personality traits and how they're not always consistent or the guy you see in public might not be the guy you see in the bedroom - but it's the same guy.

Personally, dissing fem guys made me roll my eyes because masculine tops want a masculine bottom to... fulfill the female/submissive role of sex so, um, what difference does it make if the bottom has fem behavior traits? I also felt that guys making this demand could have a problem with effeminate gay men or, perhaps, they feel that sex with men is "less gay" if both men have masculine behavior traits. I really don't know; I've just been aware of the distinction and can only guess at what's really going on.

I've had anal sex with women and some have liked it more than the guys I've had anal sex with. I've met guys who will do anal but are fussy about it and like some women can be but on the whole, is it really different? Only in whether your partner is male or female and, yeah, anatomical differences come into play as well but I would think that anyone that enjoys being fucked in the ass does so... because they enjoy it and it could have a deeper meaning to them, like one woman who enjoyed it told me that it makes her feel very much like a women to give a man all of her body in the pursuit of giving him pleasure and, in turn, being pleased. With guys, well, if you want to fuck a guy, um, other than his mouth - or doing some frotting - there's only one available orifice and not really counting prostate stimulation - and something that when I got in the pool way, way back in the day, we didn't know we even had a prostate gland, let alone what it does and what can happen when it gets stimulated: I/we just knew that it felt good and, yeah, even back then - and not counting our resident gay dude - I would fuck some guys and it was just like fucking a girl in the way they behaved and, well, it never bothered me... until I met my very effeminate gay boyfriend - but we're talking a difference between not being an adult and being an adult and, well, I learned some shit.

End of the day, anal sex is anal sex and no matter if the person on the receiving end of the dick is male or female, masculine or fem, gay, bi or, rarely, straight.

[Tight1-4u]

masculine / feminine this subject gets talked about a lot.. this is my take on it and from my perspective.. there are a lot of terms out there to describe all this but it all boils down to basically the same things..
Masculine: is a state of mind where in the person sees themselves as taking on the male role in sex.. being the aggressor.. the one that takes the lead and dose the penetrating.. usually being in charge and control of the tempo of the act.. that is not to say that the person has to be male by any means.. females can and do take on this role as well and can be very successful at it..
Feminine: female, sissy, submissive, how ever you term it is again a state of mind where the person that sees them selves this way sexually is usually the reviver, ( bottom ) the one getting penetrated.. taking on the female side of the sexual act.. like being directed and handled and placed in sexual activity.. enjoy being bottom or penetrated.. enjoy the simplicity of just giving pleasure to someone by allowing that person to use their body in the manner they wish to have the sexual pleasure they desired..
this how ever dose not mean that there are hard and fast rules about this.. the lines get blurred very quickly with each and every person involved.. this is just a very simple example of the two..

[cornholejoe]

when my ass is being fucked dont matter what you call me same way when i am fucking a male as fucking women in the ass some like it and some dont want it

[Jazminedress]

well, I think many have have given some great answers, and as you can see, opinions can vary a touch, but as a male in a short skirt, I guess I will toss in mine in the order asked.

1. What is this thing calld ? MASCULINE or FEMININE, AKA FEM between two men? I have come across men say ?I don?t like fem? ? only interested in MASCULINE bottoms. I am not interested in anyone wearing a dress or panties.

Okay, I think this is actually two questions in one. As others have said, in many contexts it is used to express the attitude and behavior of the sexual partner, some people act more like manly men, and others in what would be referred to as a little more feminine if speaking in a traditional male /female dynamic. I have also heard it referred to as one partner being more submissive (Not to be confused with a sub), meaning that when dressed, I prefer the more masculine partner take control, to initiate, set the pace and tone etc etc etc. Think of it as if one partner opens doors and pulls out chairs and one partner accepts that, or both partners do it themselves.

The second part of that question, men in pantys vs masculine, from my experience it is just terminology on wanting a man, and not anything to do with what would be condsidered a woman. The opposite is also true, I have met men who would have nothing to do with me dressed like a guy, but dressed in female clothes, they have a boner before I touch them.


2. As a bisexual:
Do you find anal intercourse with a man different from a woman?
When you have anal with a woman, is the experience, reaction, behavior different?
Between the two genders, who is more accepting of anal sex? Do men and Women react differently to anal orgasam

Do I find it different, yeah, but I am also looking at if from multiple perspectives, as a CD and as a male, everything is tossed upside down, so I am probably not the person to answer this one,especially as I dont do anal with women. I think as to more accepting, it would be men, as we dont have the other option.

I think what you are looking for is understanding, and, the best answer I can give, is we all have our own things. Such as I have to be very clear when meeting people, I am not a sissy, I don't act in an ultra feminine giggly little girl way, and I will never call anyone daddy. I also dont allow the smacking of the ass or the thing that seems popular, hand on the throat, it's a good way to get your hand broken.

I am also not a sub, I dont call people master and I dont take orders...............for me, it is more like a traditonal male / female interaction, but there are people who do like the other stuff.
I prefer brunette women, some like blonde, some like muscular guys, some like thinner less muscular (feminie).

I wouldnt put too much thought into it, just go with what attracts you and state what you want

[BackyardShaman]

I’ve not thought too much about question number 1 masculine versus feminine in m to m sex, I do like tomboyish women. A few years back I found myself about to top another guy when he pulled his jeans down he had on a pair of women’s panties. At first I didn’t know what to think but I did find it was very erotic to slide them down. Your second question I have found very few women that enjoy receiving anal sex with some allowing it but only for my pleasure. With guys it’s different, they have made up their minds they want it and I’m in that category myself. I guess I’m sort of neutral with masc/fem and most guys I’ve been with are also.

[Luv3wayfun]

So where do I fall on this as I cannot nor do I want anal sex but I love sucking cock especially in a 69 when we?re simultaneously sucking each other???
Straight acting until I?m behind closed doors then I?m an avid cocksucker but I don?t enjoy being called derogatory names. Maybe that?s why I love 69, it?s difficult to call someone names when both your mouths are full of cock!

[Jazminedress]

So where do I fall on this as I cannot nor do I want anal sex but I love sucking cock especially in a 69 when we?re simultaneously sucking each other???
Straight acting until I?m behind closed doors then I?m an avid cocksucker but I don?t enjoy being called derogatory names. Maybe that?s why I love 69, it?s difficult to call someone names when both your mouths are full of cock!

Yiou fall in exactly where you want to be..........anything else, would be untruthful to yourself

Damn, that was almost like some prophecy type stuff, I must be getting weird in my old age

[elian2]

Boy, you guys are hitting all the buttons this month aren't you? I've actually worked through all this stuff and finally integrated the masculine and feminine parts of myself together but for your benefit I'll go back down memory lane and tell my story one more time.

Show no emotion, always be strong, always be brave, competitive, athletic, always be in control .. these are the things I was socialized to believe as a young man, but no human being can do ALL of those things 24 hours a day, 7 days a week ..

Add on to that the fact that I was born premature, with cerebral palsy .. it was mild enough to just be a little paralysis of the toes in one foot but I was just not like other boys.

I liked stuff inside the house much better then the stuff outside .. the women in my life seemed kind and nurturing, similar to native american two spirit stores i liked the chores they did a lot better than the chores guys did. I just did not seem to have much in common with the guys .. i was awkward and clumsy, shy .. they were pretty gruff, not a lot of patience and rather than work with what i had they just expected me to know stuff and were frustrated and barked at me when i didn't.

My first sexual experience didn't do much to help, as i said before it was kind of a stockholm syndrome sort of thing. I had no defense, the kid broke my self esteem and i could simply imagine myself playing and enjoying being feminine with him. He woke up all these feelings in me and just left, the feeling of finding "love" and then being abandoned and forced to confront those feelings in isolation for the next 12 years was much worse than anything we did sexually.

Shortly after that my mom divorced and she dated a string of very insecure guys who used to lose control a lot. We didn't have a lot of money so you do what you have to do to survive right?

I did have a few good male role models in my life but it certainly wasn't these guys. All i know in my pre-teens was if being a drunk, abusive asshole is what it meant to "be a man" then i would rather be anything else .. up to and including being female .. which fit pretty nicely with my desire .. I was falling in love with boys the same way other boys were falling for girls ..

Teen hormones? OMG .. i was jealous of how easily women could attract men. Little did i know just how hard some women have it in life. .. and if it was the right size and shape? It is either in me or on me. The vaccum cleaner and I became really good friends one summer. I really was a horny little hamster. Good thing i was an introvert.

I guess nowadays zombies and werewolves are all the rage but back when i was growing up vampires were in style .. so had plenty of time to think about the classic erotic romance surrounding that with other teenage boys my age. I've already recounted some of my teen experiences in other posts.

I was passible as female for a while, my grade school girlfriend actually helped me experiment with that a bit .. used to just love it when folks would misgender me, they would be stumbling over themselves trying to apologize and as a teen I would secretly be like, "YES!"

But then puberty was in full force, with hairs sticking out all over the place .. it was just easier to live with the factory installed equipment at that point.

I had quite a bit of self loathing going on because i was still isolated, sexually and emotionally frustrated, still living at home in fear of "men" losing control and lashing out. Is it any wonder one of my strongest fantasies at that time was for like one GOOD man to shield me, hold me, protect me from all this shit that was going on in my life? So much was just broken and i was an angry, spiteful little thing.

I thought, well if i can do everything right, one day my parents will finally notice and finally be proud of me, they'll give me all the love and attention I've always been wanting since the age of 5 right?

Both gay AND straight people tried convince me that bisexual people don't exist, which was confusing as well. I would love sausage, be all about the saaussage, and then one day i would see a piece of fish and be like, "Oh, I bet that would go good with some tartar sauce!" But I was raised by my mom and her friends, none of them ever did anything "inappropriate" .. besides, I saw the way they were treated by guys. So i thought of them more like sisters .. who wants to have sex with your sister? (well apparently a lot of you according to that other thread actually). Stupid me didn't even realize that women like sex just as much as men until i was like 24..?

It took my dad passing away very suddenly to finally realize that life is just too short to be living constantly motivated by anger and spite. It was then that began to rebuild.

My parents did love me, but they were 16 when they had me. they loved to party. Thank goodness for other role models in my life at school, at work, grandparents who believed in me and gave me some opportunities and encouragement.

I was one of the first people in my family to go to college after getting some decent grants, and boy when i got there i thought, "Well, if I'm going to be forced to be diverse (gay) then i might as well learn to celebrate diversity..". I read all kinds of books on REAL history, philosophy, religion, science, whatever .. and i eventually learned to rebuild my foundational beliefs so i could come to terms with all this crap.

I finally found some good adult male role models who were able to reach through the high emotional walls i built to protect myself and just give me a fucking hug. They were empathetic, compassionate AND strong. They used whatever power they had to lift people up rather than put them down. And most importantly they helped me understand all those stereotypes I was raised to believe growing up are an illusion, a two dimensional characature of what it really means to "be a man". They helped me heal and made me feel at least a little better about having a penis.

The self loathing really didn't stop until one day i accidently stumbled on the Buddhist concept of Lovingkindess. I don't know just what is so difficult to understand about, "You are forgiven" but Christians just don't do "forgiveness" very well. They have this puritan ethic and martyrdom ideology that just sucks compared to what Jesus ACTUALLY taught.

Studying Lovingkindess eventually gave me just enough of a shift in perspective to finally break out of those cycles where I kept beating myself up .. over the fact that I didn't think I measured up to the expectations of others. it's a funny thing though, sometimes what you THINK people think, and what they ACTUALLY think are two different things.

I used to try to measure my own self worth by the acceptance of others, that was a mistake. The day i stopped trying to label myself and decided to just BE who i am is the day I became like 200% happier. Not everyone is going to like me, that's okay. I would rather have a handful of loyal friends than saving face with 200 "aquiaintences".

i was finally able to bring myself full circle and heal all those deep divisions .. anyone who has lived past the age of 16 or so has SOME sort of baggage .. something does not have to be "perfect" in order to be beautiful or worthy.

I am straight acting in public but i doubt anyone would ever call me butch. In private there have been times I've been both masculine and feminine, adult or child, depending on who i am with, hormones and the energy in the room. i think we all have the capacity to experience those things at different points in our lives regardless of what is physically between the legs.