I'm Still Here

[KDaddy23]

agree. I've been trashed twice for both of my surgeries. The hardest part for me was trying to get any sleep due to it. I was lucky in that I had experience in caring for trash patients so I knew how to suction myself and remove and clean the thing. When they do remove the trash you'll be shocked how fast it heals and you get back to normal.

Yeah, trying to sleep with it is a major problem and more so when I'm supposed to wear a mask connected to a humidifier to keep things moist and that makes trying to sleep even harder. I'm lucky if I get four hours of sleep - and it's so hard to go back to sleep once something involving the trach wakes me up and, yeah, just trying to be comfortable sleeping in almost a sitting position is just fucking crazy - I'm used to sleeping on my side and, well, found out the hard way that you can't do that with a trach (or you shouldn't). The only saving grace is I can catnap during the day - but it doesn't replace a good night's sleep.

[DD788Snipe]

I guess when I meet with the radiation team, they'll tell me how it's gonna work. I can't be scanned with contrast (because of my kidneys) so they'll just have the PET scan to use as a reference.

I didn't think about that from the Chemo. I remember how the Chemo doctor watched my kidney function. I went to the lab so often my arm looked like a pin cushion. They gave me 3 nasty treatments of cisplatin 2 weeks apart. That would knock the shit out of me for about 5 days. I was getting my radiation each day for a total of 33 treatments Monday through Friday with weekends off. It will be interesting to hear what you Rad team will use to program the machine to treat you. Is it next week you meet with them?

[DD788Snipe]

Yeah, trying to sleep with it is a major problem and more so when I'm supposed to wear a mask connected to a humidifier to keep things moist and that makes trying to sleep even harder. I'm lucky if I get four hours of sleep - and it's so hard to go back to sleep once something involving the trach wakes me up and, yeah, just trying to be comfortable sleeping in almost a sitting position is just fucking crazy - I'm used to sleeping on my side and, well, found out the hard way that you can't do that with a trach (or you shouldn't). The only saving grace is I can catnap during the day - but it doesn't replace a good night's sleep.

After the last surgery on my neck to remove what was left of my lymph nodes I had a drain tube with a bottle attached for 2 weeks. I had to sleep in my recliner so I kinda feel your pain. Everytime I moved that drain tube pulled on the stitches an I was awake. I know it was not the same as having a trach installed. That's got to be miserable but it's temporary my friend. It's all a crappy nightmare but remember you will wake up from it and all will be better.

[Neonaught]

Yeah, trying to sleep with it is a major problem and more so when I'm supposed to wear a mask connected to a humidifier to keep things moist and that makes trying to sleep even harder. I'm lucky if I get four hours of sleep - and it's so hard to go back to sleep once something involving the trach wakes me up and, yeah, just trying to be comfortable sleeping in almost a sitting position is just fucking crazy - I'm used to sleeping on my side and, well, found out the hard way that you can't do that with a trach (or you shouldn't). The only saving grace is I can catnap during the day - but it doesn't replace a good night's sleep.

humidifier pump they rented me made so much damned noise, I often had to shut it down just to sleep at all. On a different note, should they give you Fentanyl patches, be VERY careful using them. I put on on my chest and noticed that being warm under covers in bed seemed to make the patch give me more of the drug. By day two, I could barely stand without falling. That scared me so I quit using the and stuck to ground up Hydrocodone put down my feeding tube. If CBD does any good of you, by all means try it. CBD does nothing for me but I made a tincture of ground up weed and did an alcohol extraction using Everclear and put that down my feeding tube and got some benefit from it.

[KDaddy23]

humidifier pump they rented me made so much damned noise, I often had to shut it down just to sleep at all. On a different note, should they give you Fentanyl patches, be VERY careful using them. I put on on my chest and noticed that being warm under covers in bed seemed to make the patch give me more of the drug. By day two, I could barely stand without falling. That scared me so I quit using the and stuck to ground up Hydrocodone put down my feeding tube. If CBD does any good of you, by all means try it. CBD does nothing for me but I made a tincture of ground up weed and did an alcohol extraction using Everclear and put that down my feeding tube and got some benefit from it.

I understand how important it is to keep my trach moisturized but when you have to be connected to a machine for this, it just does not lend itself to being comfortable and sleeping. Oh, I know about fentanyl; I was on the patches after I had my stroke and was left with neuropathy from head to toe on my right side. Man, I'd be so fucked up that I didn't know I was in pain but I had moments where one moment I'm wide awake and the next, out like a light. Yep, found out about being warm and under the covers, too; I'd get rendered unable to function. One upside I learned about it was... delayed ejaculation. My wife and poly wives found out that when I was on the patch, I could literally fuck them for hours before I could cum. At first, they liked it but I think they were very happy when I couldn't afford the patches and had to go without them.

[Jazminedress]

Best wishes for you

[KDaddy23]

Thanks Jaz! So, today's chemo day, which will probably take almost five hours - they inserted two one-hour "breaks" between certain medications so I get to... hang out. Listen to music. Contemplate my navel. Oh, and I'll share something with you that I learned last week: I did die and had to be revived. I'd gone for the post-hospitalization follow-up with my PCP - but my actual doctor didn't have any appointments available so I saw one of the CNP's in the practice (and one I had never met before). She's going through all the stuff from the hospital and kinda casually says that for someone who coded and had to be resuscitated, I was looking pretty good. She then told me how I died - respiratory failure and shock due to major blood loss.

Yes, this cancer shit is serious. Anyway, now I knew why those taking care of me were acting weird; seemingly surprised or amazed and always saying that I looked (and was doing) great considering all that I'd been through - but no one, not even my lady, told me what I'd gone through and I understand why they didn't but that's okay because I can't shake the fact that I knew that I had died. I'm still processing this bit of information and not to worry: I'm okay.

[KDaddy23]

So, the latest snafu is my platelet levels were too low for me to be infused yesterday. My oncologist believes that it's the chemo treatments themselves that's causing this but when I look at the test results, I saw where my platelet count went from being good and normal to dropping to below normal. Likewise, my red and white cell count is low, as is my magnesium and hemoglobin and its combining to make me anemic but it's also making me wonder if the chemo has caused yet another problem I'm going to have to deal with... if it doesn't kill me permanently. The problem is that there's no medication that can increase platelet levels - you need a transfusion of platelets which, in a way, doesn't make sense if the chemo is going to kick them back to the curb again.

I don't know. I'm meeting with my oncologist's PA next week to see what's up. The bitch of it is that this was supposed to be my last chemo treatment - and now things have been pushed back a week and maybe longer if this platelet thing can't be figured out. Otherwise, the thing that's fucking with me the most is... my tracheostomy. I have an upcoming appointment with the ENT who, I'm told, performed the procedure on me in the ER so me, him, and my lady are going to have a long conversation about this literal pain in my neck and beginning with being able to have a backup in the case the one I have in... comes out. That would suck and incredibly so since if it's not put back immediately if not sooner, I might not be able to breathe. Making it worse is that, apparently, he put in a trach that's an older model; this is what they had on hand and what got installed but doesn't quite line up with the devices that are currently listed as a replacement.

This could be a problem. I have my fingers crossed that I'm not going to cough the trach out (but it's possible); I do not want to put my lady through the trauma of trying to put it back and if it comes out, I'm pretty sure I won't be in any shape to do it - and there's no telling how long it would take EMTs to arrive and put it back. So I'm seriously not trying to do anything to make it come out but if it has to be replaced, that means surgery... because I will be damned if I'm going to let them fuck with this thing and I'm awake - and an emergency notwithstanding.

Who would have thought that it's not the cancer that's causing me the most problems?

[Lucky 61]

Murphy never sleeps! Sending my best mojo your way!!

[Warren63]

I'm glad your okay, i had mine in 2010. Had to remove the old prostate. Put a bad four year dent in our sex life. But my wife still loves me. She would love to see a guy with a nice cock give me a good ass fuck!😘

[KDaddy23]

Met with the ENT doctor about my tracheostomy and one of the major things we discussed was a replacement for the trach I have installed. First, he asked how long I had it and we told him; then he asked if it had been changed out, to which we both said no. My lady tells him about some stuff about the trach and how the one I have installed isn't a match for any of the replacements she was sent. He takes a good look at mine and asks if the hospital sent me home with the same device I had installed - and they didn't. We talk about the coughing and secretions and, duh, they're both due to the fact that I've got a foreign object in my throat... and of a size and type I don't need now. The one I have installed is a #8; he says that a #6 is what I need now and should be more comfortable and cut down on the coughing.

When they put the #8 in, it was the right device for the situation at hand as it has a piece needed for being on a ventilator.

Problem was that they don't keep them in their offices; they had to order it from the people we get my supplies from, who will let us know that it's been shipped, and when we get it, get an appointment so the doctor can change out my trach. While I'm awake. We thought that the changeout was a surgical procedure but, ha-ha, apparently not. He also said that this will be a good chance for my lady to learn how to put one in - just in case it comes out. I glanced over at her when he said that and, yeah, that's the last thing she wants to do and some trauma I'd not want her to experience but she'll learn how to do it and hope like hell she never has to do it. The doctor did mention how amazingly good my voice sounded, which had me rolling my eyes until he revealed that some people have a tracheostomy done and their vocal chords wind up getting damaged! Knock on wood - mine aren't damaged and I really do sound the way I've always sounded.

The doctor also confirmed that the tracheostomy isn't permanent; it'll be removed after radiation treatment and depending on how much damage it does to my throat. I remain in good spirits.

[Jazminedress]

Met with the ENT doctor about my tracheostomy and one of the major things we discussed was a replacement for the trach I have installed. First, he asked how long I had it and we told him; then he asked if it had been changed out, to which we both said no. My lady tells him about some stuff about the trach and how the one I have installed isn't a match for any of the replacements she was sent. He takes a good look at mine and asks if the hospital sent me home with the same device I had installed - and they didn't. We talk about the coughing and secretions and, duh, they're both due to the fact that I've got a foreign object in my throat... and of a size and type I don't need now. The one I have installed is a #8; he says that a #6 is what I need now and should be more comfortable and cut down on the coughing.

When they put the #8 in, it was the right device for the situation at hand as it has a piece needed for being on a ventilator.

Problem was that they don't keep them in their offices; they had to order it from the people we get my supplies from, who will let us know that it's been shipped, and when we get it, get an appointment so the doctor can change out my trach. While I'm awake. We thought that the changeout was a surgical procedure but, ha-ha, apparently not. He also said that this will be a good chance for my lady to learn how to put one in - just in case it comes out. I glanced over at her when he said that and, yeah, that's the last thing she wants to do and some trauma I'd not want her to experience but she'll learn how to do it and hope like hell she never has to do it. The doctor did mention how amazingly good my voice sounded, which had me rolling my eyes until he revealed that some people have a tracheostomy done and their vocal chords wind up getting damaged! Knock on wood - mine aren't damaged and I really do sound the way I've always sounded.

The doctor also confirmed that the tracheostomy isn't permanent; it'll be removed after radiation treatment and depending on how much damage it does to my throat. I remain in good spirits.

Man, we aint getting any younger, I turned 55 and thats when shit started.................not sure your beliefs, or non beliefs. BUt please know when I say I am praying for you, I mean to send you the best wishes and hopes I can in my own way

[KDaddy23]

Thanks, Jaz. Yeah, hitting 55 and shit started happening. I'm not sure about how radiation is going to go but I am hopeful that if I can get this #8 out and the #6 in, that will take a lot of weight off of me and maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to sleep through the night.

[elian2]

(Hugs)

[Fiddlestyx]

Thanks, Jaz. Yeah, hitting 55 and shit started happening. I'm not sure about how radiation is going to go but I am hopeful that if I can get this #8 out and the #6 in, that will take a lot of weight off of me and maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to sleep through the night.

Just finally noticed this thread. Yikes, KDaddy - so sad to hear you're going through all of this! Glad to hear your spirits are still good! All the best as the treatments continue!

[KDaddy23]

Thanks, Fiddlestyx!

[Luv3wayfun]

Sending you best wishes and healing thoughts!
From talking with some friends that have (and are) going through radiation and chemo almost all of them say the most important thing is to keep a positive attitude? which we all know isn?t easy given the way you?ve been hammered left and right with all this shit you never wanted to learn.
Just know that you have people all over this rock sending love and healing thoughts to you.
Stay strong, my friend, stay strong!!!

[KDaddy23]

Tuesday, the 12th, was my last day of chemotherapy and it gave me great pleasure to ring the gong to signify that I'm done with this phase of my treatment. Tomorrow morning, I'm going to the ENT's office to have my #8 trach removed and replaced with a #6, which is smaller and should be more comfortable with less coughing and secretions. Maybe - I won't know until the deed's been done. I'm just a little freaked out that my doctor is going to replace the trach... while I'm awake.

My lady confirmed that when they put in the trach, they knocked me out right there in the emergency room and put it in so being awake and aware for the replacement is freaking me out a little. Okay, it's freaking me out a lot! And he wants to show my lady how to remove a trach and put another in - just in case mine happens to come out and it has to be put back in a damned hurry... or else. She's not looking forward to that and I don't want to put that kind of pressure on her because she's been through a lot already.

I'll let you know how the replacement went...

[elian2]

Yay, well at least one phase is finished (nuzzles)

[Jazminedress]

Tuesday, the 12th, was my last day of chemotherapy and it gave me great pleasure to ring the gong to signify that I'm done with this phase of my treatment. Tomorrow morning, I'm going to the ENT's office to have my #8 trach removed and replaced with a #6, which is smaller and should be more comfortable with less coughing and secretions. Maybe - I won't know until the deed's been done. I'm just a little freaked out that my doctor is going to replace the trach... while I'm awake.

My lady confirmed that when they put in the trach, they knocked me out right there in the emergency room and put it in so being awake and aware for the replacement is freaking me out a little. Okay, it's freaking me out a lot! And he wants to show my lady how to remove a trach and put another in - just in case mine happens to come out and it has to be put back in a damned hurry... or else. She's not looking forward to that and I don't want to put that kind of pressure on her because she's been through a lot already.

I'll let you know how the replacement went...

Honestly, they are not all that difficult, done quite a few, they will usually ask you to take a deep breath to dilate the airway, mentally, it will mess with you, but physically, shouldnt be bad

[KDaddy23]

Honestly, they are not all that difficult, done quite a few, they will usually ask you to take a deep breath to dilate the airway, mentally, it will mess with you, but physically, shouldnt be bad

I hope you're right. This thing has already been messing with me physically and mentally but I hold out hope that the replacement is going to change that.

[KDaddy23]

Well, Jaz, what he did was to... rip the bandage off. He unfastened the collar and just snatched it out! Yep, it did not feel good, but I didn't feel it when he put the new one in. I can admit that him snatching it out didn't feel as bad as I thought it was going to but it was bad enough. I'm gonna be a little sore...

[Jazminedress]

Well, Jaz, what he did was to... rip the bandage off. He unfastened the collar and just snatched it out! Yep, it did not feel good, but I didn't feel it when he put the new one in. I can admit that him snatching it out didn't feel as bad as I thought it was going to but it was bad enough. I'm gonna be a little sore...

Damn, I never would have used that technique, I always did the deep breath thing. But, to be fair, I was a Medic in the late 80's to mid 90's, so maybe he felt your apprehension and decided that was the best way to go................either way, glad it's over and you are still sharing here

[KDaddy23]

Damn, I never would have used that technique, I always did the deep breath thing. But, to be fair, I was a Medic in the late 80's to mid 90's, so maybe he felt your apprehension and decided that was the best way to go................either way, glad it's over and you are still sharing here

Maybe that's why he did it that way; I was too busy being shocked by the sudden and rapid removal to think about it. He did mention that the cuffed trachs are harder to get out because the cuff can adhere to the inside of the trachea; I felt it kinda tear away - there was some blood but not a whole lot - and then the new one was in. My lady had that "Holy shit!" look on her face when he snatched it out - and he assured her that if she had to remove the new one, it would be easier and we both said that we're not going to do anything to have to take it out - or put it back - at home. Nope. He says that when I'm done with the radiation phase of my treatment, he'll remove the trach for good; just too much of a chance that the radiation is going to mess my throat up so leaving it in just makes sense.

[Jazminedress]

Maybe that's why he did it that way; I was too busy being shocked by the sudden and rapid removal to think about it. He did mention that the cuffed trachs are harder to get out because the cuff can adhere to the inside of the trachea; I felt it kinda tear away - there was some blood but not a whole lot - and then the new one was in. My lady had that "Holy shit!" look on her face when he snatched it out - and he assured her that if she had to remove the new one, it would be easier and we both said that we're not going to do anything to have to take it out - or put it back - at home. Nope. He says that when I'm done with the radiation phase of my treatment, he'll remove the trach for good; just too much of a chance that the radiation is going to mess my throat up so leaving it in just makes sense.

sometimes being an ex medica sucks, I know whats coming

[DD788Snipe]

Glad all went well my friend. I'm sure your are much more comfortable now. I knew your ENT Doc would figure it out. I have an appt on Monday to see mine. Hopefully, that will go well. Like Jazz said you're in my daily prayers too.

[KDaddy23]

It's taking a bit of doing to adjust to the smaller device but I'm not doing the coughing that I had been doing and secretions are down; I'm not waking up in the middle of the night and coughing up a storm but I still have to find a comfortable angle to sleep in so it's still a work in progress. Thank you all for your encouragement and positivity!

[elian2]

New chastity device eh?

(Just kidding)

Hang in there kdaddy .. you are loved!

[DD788Snipe]

Glad all went well my friend. I'm sure your are much more comfortable now. I knew your ENT Doc would figure it out. I have an appt on Monday to see mine. Hopefully, that will go well. Like Jazz said you're in my daily prayers too.

Well good news, my ENT Doc used what I call the rubber hose up my nose (flexible fiberoptic camera). Poked around inside my mouth then gave me the all-clear. Two months ago he found a lesion on my tongue that concerned him but today there was no sign of it. So I'm still cancer-free. Two years now.

[KDaddy23]

Well good news, my ENT Doc used what I call the rubber hose up my nose (flexible fiberoptic camera). Poked around inside my mouth then gave me the all-clear. Two months ago he found a lesion on my tongue that concerned him but today there was no sign of it. So I'm still cancer-free. Two years now.

That's amazing news! I don't know about you but I hate the camera up the nose thing...