I love hearing about men talk about sucking cock and why they like cum. The thoughts of perversion and humiliation for me, are big factors. I like feeling inferior. I'm otherwise straight in every other aspect other than my love for dick. I'm not really interested in men or relationships, but I just love the idea of pleasing a cock. It's almost as if, even though the cock belongs to the guy I'm with, it really belongs to both of us in that moment. We are both in that moment focusing only on penis. I'm focused on sucking, he's focused on experiencing the feelings of being sucked. Neither of our lives matter, all that matters is continuing to pleasure that penis.
In a way we both submit to penis. Almost like submitting to god. I submit to the power another man's penis has over me, and he submits to the power of his sexual urges which he may or may not regret after he cums. But we both give into this higher power that has control over us. I'm inferior to the power of penis. That's why I think I like dominant alpha type of guys, because I really get bossed around by his penis. Love a guy pushing my head towards his cock, love him slapping his thick meat all over my face and on my tongue, love feeling him try to ram his shaft into my throat. The aggression and power of male energy is intoxicating.
To me, a cock is what makes a man, a man. Men and women can both have muscles and masculine features, but cock and sperm is what really what makes him a man. I love everything visual about cocks, the balls, the shaft, the round head. I really question though why I feel this way, I'd really like to find a way to go back into my childhood and figure out how I ended up with this desire.
Sadly, like most men in my situation (Closeted bisexual), I don't get to act on these fantasies enough for whatever reason. I'm jealous of guys like you that really get to live this life more fully. I'm trying to figure out a way to improve in that area and work up the nerve to meet up with men more often. I think part of the reason is, I know that deep down, if I'm going to meet a man to suck his dick, I want to swallow his sperm. I want to swallow all of it. But I'm still afraid of the actual event. I'm afraid that I'll chicken out, or that the reality won't be as good as the fantasy is, so I end up just not meeting up. I have pretty bad anxiety so I think it plays a role in me having second doubts. I wish I just had my own gloryhole to be honest haha...
I really feel though that deep down, I'm supposed to be a cocksucker. Like, if I could live my life fully without fear and with courage, that I should be a cocksucker. Kind of funny, because I feel like my desire to suck cock comes from a low self-esteem and feeling inferior, but the thought of sex with men and eating cum makes me feel warm, safe, secure inside. I really want to just embrace this instead of feeling bad about it. I want to embrace that I'm beta, that I'm a coward, that I can't stand up for myself in most situations. But one thing I can do, is be a good cocksucker. My self-worth can come from sucking dicks for men. Sucking cock can be the one thing that I'm brave at. Maybe my life ambition is simply to be used by men, to drain their balls, to get their semen ejaculated into my mouth. I can be courageous when I swallow their loads. I want one of my best life achievements to be that I ate the sperm of many different men. Each load is a piece of them, full of millions of their unique sperm cells, their pure energy and DNA, and I love that they get to feel so good when they squirt it out for me. Making men shoot their loads is enough of an accomplishment for me. I would feel happy doing this over and over again in life.
Cock is beautiful because it gives you cum. Balls are beautiful because they make sperm. The purpose of a man having a dick and balls is solely just to ejaculate semen. I have to remind myself that his cum is really something special, something so unique and powerful. I don't just want to lust for cock, I want to lust for semen.
How would life be, having that rush all the time? The rush of pleasuring a man, making a penis shoot in your mouth? Weekly? Daily? Can people live healthy lives by making their life purpose cock sucking?
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