Free Of Frustration?

[easy-going]

Newbie warning

There are probably thousands of married men like me, a tad confused regarding our sexuality. I’m posting this here, not necessarily to receive advice (although it is welcome), but to finally get things off my chest. You see, I’m Joe average, living a straight family life with straight friends and by and large, straight acquaintances. So for many years I’ve had to (partially) live with a deal of frustration.

The fact is, if I suffer from a medical condition I can go to a general practitioner and discuss it. But when it comes to one’s sexuality, when you’re living one way and crave another, there are few options to ‘talk it over’. So here I am, about to lay it all on the line.

Firstly, and strangely perhaps, I have never been sexually attracted to a man, ever. Each time I’ve been sexually attracted to someone, it’s been a female. Even when I was a teenager experimenting sexually with other boys, it wasn’t the boys themselves that excited me, it was their penis and the pleasure it was capable of producing. But as I aged, and began to get more involved with girls, I was always open to getting my hands on another guys cock.

When I married, I was deeply in love with my wife and didn’t think for a moment about being with another man. But over the years, the occasional opportunity arose and I always embraced it. It didn’t happen very often mind you, because afterwards I always suffered substantial guilt. I lived like this until, in my mid to late forties, my wife lost her libido. It wasn’t catastrophic though because I had always masturbated regularly and just continued to do so with more frequency.

Then, in the late 1990’s, the internet took off and porn became readily available. I took to it like a duck to water, and it didn’t take long for me to realise my preferred genre of porn was watching men masturbate. Now, more than 20 years later, nothing has changed. I probably spend a couple of hours a day watching videos of men masturbating. Don’t misunderstand me though, I enjoy watching women masturbate too.

Realising, I started questioning my sexuality, and after almost 35 years of marriage I finally decided to look for a male partner to enjoy (safe) sex with. It wasn’t easy and to this day there’s only two men I’ve ever fooled around with. Due to the difficulty finding someone, I’ve resorted to paying for sex and have been to a number of male masseurs for ‘happy endings’.

Believe me, I’ve given all this plenty of thought and what I have concluded is that I am seriously attracted to cock. I reckon the penis is the most beautiful thing on earth, and the sight of a penis is enough to send my arousal level through the roof. Big or small, cut or uncut, it matters not. They are gorgeous.

So what I’ve concluded is that I’m not physically attracted to men, I’m attracted to what hangs between their legs. To illustrate, I could spend (say) hours chatting with a guy at a party without ever feeling the desire to fool around with him. But, should I find that same guy in the bathroom with his erect cock in his hand, I wouldn’t be able to control myself.

I’m in my mid 70’s now and still masturbate 3-4 times a week. I desperately want to get my mouth and hands on cock. I’ve found finding Mr Right almost impossible while trying to live a ‘straight’ life. The frustration is palpable. I could never open up to my wife, it would destroy her. So where does one go, who does one discuss these thing with? That’s why I’m here.

[Grant_Norman]

Welcome..there are many,many of us here with similar feelings. While I've had sex with dozens upon dozens of men, it is women that really turn me on. How attractive they are, body, all the usual stuff gets me going...but men, I have absolutely no preference at all...what I want to see is a clean cock between their legs....nothing else really matters, (except I do feel as bit strange still kissing a man with a beard)...so big, small, any color, race or age, anything about them other than the cock doesn't matter to me. Yes, it can be nice to be a little friendly and talk some, but that again is not a major concern. So from my point of view, you are pretty normal...sucking cock, swallowing cum, all of it isoh so nice. Enjoy your life.

[Thorney247]

I thought i was alone, guys don't turn me on but a nice hard cock gets me hot. I only chance i had to suck cock was in high school by the coach that gave me my first blow job. He asked if I wanted to and I got scared off. I have regretted not trying for 40 years now, and my wife and friends would never understand. So I jack off to allot of blow job porn and that gets me by.

[easy-going]

Welcome..there are many,many of us here with similar feelings. While I've had sex with dozens upon dozens of men, it is women that really turn me on. How attractive they are, body, all the usual stuff gets me going...but men, I have absolutely no preference at all...what I want to see is a clean cock between their legs....nothing else really matters, (except I do feel as bit strange still kissing a man with a beard)...so big, small, any color, race or age, anything about them other than the cock doesn't matter to me. Yes, it can be nice to be a little friendly and talk some, but that again is not a major concern. So from my point of view, you are pretty normal...sucking cock, swallowing cum, all of it isoh so nice. Enjoy your life.

I still have trouble reconciling I'm not attracted to men but love cock. I reckon that's weird, but I challenge anyone to argue that watching a guy stroking his cock, hearing the sound of his moaning as he reaches the point of no return and watching his semen being expelled from his shaft. Now that is what really gets me hot.

[easy-going]

I thought i was alone, guys don't turn me on but a nice hard cock gets me hot. I only chance i had to suck cock was in high school by the coach that gave me my first blow job. He asked if I wanted to and I got scared off. I have regretted not trying for 40 years now, and my wife and friends would never understand. So I jack off to allot of blow job porn and that gets me by.

I understand and thanks for the reply. How do you cope with the fact you're seen by all as a normal, well adjusted family man, when all you want to do is suck someone's cock. That's the bit I find frustrating... wanting to be free to hook up with someone and enjoy everything two like minded men can enjoy. I'm in a small community which puts more pressure on being seen as a 'straight family man'.

[KDaddy23]

@easy-going: Coping with these feelings can be hard to do for some guys and can be very frustrating and one just has to find a way to not be frustrated - a hell of a lot easier said than done. In the world of male bisexuality, this is one of the big-deal issues: Wanting to do something but one's situation probably isn't going to allow that to take place. There's just no simple way to combat the frustration and a lot of guys, um, wind up jerking off a lot while fantasizing about playing with a dick but after a while, even that tends to not do much about the ever-present frustration over not being able to do it. A lot of guys try to suppress their feelings and that's not really a good thing to do and, besides: The desire never really goes away. So, were I to suggest something, it would be to just do your best not to be frustrated and whatever it's gonna take for you to accomplish this. I know this isn't all that helpful but maybe you can find some comfort in knowing that you're not the only guy who has found himself having to deal with this and, as such, you've come to the right place when you need to talk to someone because the worst thing ever is to feel the way you do... and there's no one you can talk to about it.

[Solrak]

You have described me !!!

[easy-going]

Ooops!

[easy-going]

@easy-going: Coping with these feelings can be hard to do for some guys and can be very frustrating and one just has to find a way to not be frustrated - a hell of a lot easier said than done. In the world of male bisexuality, this is one of the big-deal issues: Wanting to do something but one's situation probably isn't going to allow that to take place. There's just no simple way to combat the frustration and a lot of guys, um, wind up jerking off a lot while fantasizing about playing with a dick but after a while, even that tends to not do much about the ever-present frustration over not being able to do it. A lot of guys try to suppress their feelings and that's not really a good thing to do and, besides: The desire never really goes away. So, were I to suggest something, it would be to just do your best not to be frustrated and whatever it's gonna take for you to accomplish this. I know this isn't all that helpful but maybe you can find some comfort in knowing that you're not the only guy who has found himself having to deal with this and, as such, you've come to the right place when you need to talk to someone because the worst thing ever is to feel the way you do... and there's no one you can talk to about it.

Well thank you Kdaddy. You've nailed it. I have managed two very brief sessions with men I met on an Aussie site biaustralia.com.au. But, and I know this makes me sound ungrateful and perhaps selfish, but they both wanted to suck and be sucked and both occasions we were in bush-land. I will not suck a cock until we have showered but it seems I'm on my own with that. Most guys on that site (and probably here) are married and can't host at their home, the others don't want to spend the money on a motel room. I've pretty much given up hope of finding Mt Right and from there stems the frustration. To compensate I spend probably a couple of hours a day watching videos of guys masturbating etc. It gets me by, just! The thing is though, that it sometimes seems I live in a divided universe, in one I'm happily married grandfather and as straight as a die but in the other I crave cock and desperately want to be with another man. I guess I'll just have to suck it up as you say. It's such a shame though.

The reality of life is that (I reckon) almost all men of all ages masturbate. Yet it's a taboo to broach the subject and to be found approaching a friend or acquaintance for mutual masturbation (pleasure) well that would be unforgivable and we'd never live it down. We live in an open minded society, why can't we embrace the reality and home truths and loosen up and enjoy each others bodies?

[KDaddy23]

@easy-going: A couple of things and the first is keep some wet-wipes around for when you're out in the bush. Next, a lot of guys are looking for Mr. Right and it's frustrating to not be able to find him but as I told one of our esteemed members when he was searching for Mr. Right, you're allowed to, ah, interview guys for the position. Masturbation can start out being fun for us guys when we learn about it but in this situation, there are times when just barely takes the edge off and sometimes it can leave you even more frustrated and, yes, thinking the way you are right now. Despite how it feels, it's not really a divided universe - it's all one thing. Father, husband, grandfather and bisexual; it's just that the craving for cock tend to make this feel like two different things which, when you think about it, is one of those duh moments because you're one person with a more, let's say, open mindset about sex and who you can and want to have it with.

Why can't we embrace the reality? The truth is a lot of people are doing just that and not wiling to sit on their asses and wait for social approval. It'd be nice and one of these days, everyone will see being bisexual as the very normal and natural thing it is but until then, many of us do what we need to do while that approval is pending and by any means necessary and if it takes heading into the bush with some wet-wipes on hand, well, that's what it takes. I recommend unscented wet-wipes, by the way; whatever stuff they use to create the scent can tend to not taste all that good (wink, wink).

[BigRedjkl]

At 58 I thought I was the only one. Kissing a man repulses me, but put his cock in my mouth and I'm happy.

[BigRedjkl]

I've been faithful to my wife for over 30 years and she knows of my bisexual desires. We often fantasize about having another man in our bed, but my wife will never let that happen. I'm not attracted to men, just their genitals. I've been engaged in mutual oral in my past. I miss it. Even as I write, the idea of it has me getting hard. I've been frustrated that I can't find someone to develop a friendship with, where sex is not the main reason to hang out. I'm not looking for a hook up, as nice as that would be. I must be discreet because I love my wife and don't want to lose her.

Until I found your post, I thought I was alone. I am not homosexual, but I do enjoy cock. I'm partial to clean, circumsized and functional. So I just watch porn and jerk off in the shower. But it is nice to know I'm not alone.

[JohnnyBisexual]

You guys are not alone. I love cock, particularly black cock, but I have no interest in the rest of the man. As I say "I am not interested in the whole package, just THE package". The thought of kissing another guy totally turns me off, but I will suck his cock all day. I meet up with guys (pre-Covid) at rest stops and Adult Theaters with video booths. I inspect every cock before I put my mouth on it and if it appears sketchy, than no go. I realize that is not the end all and my wife wants me to get checked for STD's, but I have had vaccination for both Hepatitis A and Hepatitis B. I recommend that for anyone who is going to go around sucking strangers cocks. Good hunting!

[marine20]

johnny , does your wife know that you suck cock ? if so , how does she feel about it ?

[KDaddy23]

@easy-going: I get the whole not being attracted to men thing and I've always found it interesting that we're expected to be attracted to men and, perhaps, similar to how gay men are attracted to men and even how we can be (and are supposed to be) attracted to women. The reality is that not all of us who like dick are all that attracted to the guy attached to it and that depends on how you define being attracted - this particular rabbit hole is a lot deeper than people tend to think it is. Like with many things, we "eat" with our eyes first and foremost; it's just that in this and at times, you're just not interested in "eating" the whole thing... just the part you know you're really interested in. Guys are always saying that they don't like men "like that" and I say, well, um, who says you have to? You just gotta like them enough to want to have sex with them and that's not all that hard to do... but because we rely so much on being physically attracted, yeah - that makes things... difficult for a lot of guys. I've sucked the dick of quite a few guys who, even in my mind, ain't the best looking or the most physically fit guys because I know that there's more to them than what they look like and I know that getting my hands and mouth on their dick is very damned attractive... and if I happen to really like the guy - and he happens to be my idea of good looking - that's just gravy and all well and good.

A lot of guys aren't going to agree with this point of view and I understand that and I understand that we're not all the same when it comes to how we wanna go about doing whatever we want to do... and there's nothing wrong with us being different in this because we are different. The problem is that male bisexuality is, I think, being pushed into a direction that it can go in - bi guys being more like gay guys - but it doesn't have to because it never really did. Guy A wants to suck Guy B's cock and if Guy A is agreeable - and no matter what criteria Guy B uses to determine suitability - dicks get sucked and the sperm flows. Is Guy B really "attracted" to Guy A... or is it just the fact that Guy A has a dick and he's willing to let Guy B have fun with it?

We overcomplicate this and it's normal for us to do it; we all develop our ways and reasons for why we want to do this and we don't always agree on it. Attraction is overrated and what many find out is that the most important thing is... the desire to have the sex. Being safe is a must but if the guy is okay with you and okay with some cock sucking, what is the real attraction? Him (and usually his looks) or the fact that you have a chance to play with a hard dick and make it soft? That's up to the individual to decide. I'm not attracted to men and never have been although I can appreciate a guy's looks; I'm more interested in what's going on inside his head; his intellect and personality and, oh, yeah - he has a dick I'd just love to suck. We're supposed to be attracted to men but the truth is a lot of us just aren't. Gay men - and generally speaking - are attracted to men in that fashion because even they're told that they have to be attracted in that fashion... but bi guys aren't gay guys and attraction, such as we think we understand it, is always in the eye of the beholder... and sometimes what our eyes behold and find attracted is the dick and not the guy it's attached to a whole lot - but just enough to want to do something with the dick.

This is the reality we can't seem to agree upon. See it for the way it really is and not some idealistic way it's supposed to be and if you're not attracted to men but their dick does attract you, I'd not say you were doing it wrong - but others might say you are. At the end of the day, the final say and decision is always yours, easy-going and no matter who might disagree with your approach to this. And, yeah, I do tend to be the guy who fucks up a lot of wet dreams with some cold, hard, and very real facts of the matter... and I will never apologize for that.

[JohnnyBisexual]

Marine20, Yes she knows that I suck cock. She has mixed emotions about it. She knows that I love to do it and she accepts that, maybe because of her Bi-curious feelings before she went through menopause. It really is sort of a "don't ask, don't tell" situation, but I have been honest with her about how many cocks that I have sucked, 50, and that I really have a thing for black cocks. She just accepts that as it is, as they are "exotic". I am lucky that she accepts it, I just wish that she would watch me do it, but that will never happen. We do discuss me being Bisexual quite openly, she just doesn't want me to embarrass her.

[johnyr2000]

i know how you feel i am similar

[Fredrock4fun]

I’m glad to see theirs others like me! Now if I could just find one of you nearby!

[csreef]

I’m glad to see theirs others like me! Now if I could just find one of you nearby!

Keep looking, and you will find one!