over the years i have done some bdsm sometimes was giver and other times the receiver how many other out there is into bdsm
over the years i have done some bdsm sometimes was giver and other times the receiver how many other out there is into bdsm
I have been on both ends of Some Hot Times that definitely included some BDSM.
Not for me. Never once had the desire to participate in the fashion
No way, no how, not ever.
It has been my experience that everyone who claimed to be "in the lifestyle" were all self-proclaimed "dominants" but in fact, just wanted to act like abusive assholes without any repercussions.
I may be missing something, but sex is supposed to be pleasurable. There is nothing fun about being treated like crap, and having someone wanting to physically abuse you in the name of getting off.
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Doesn't anyone find it odd that an attractive face is one of the criteria by which we decide to lick the area from which someone urinates?
It played an indirect role in my evolution to bisexuality, but in an way that might surprise.
My wife secretly harbored a desire to be spanked and disciplined for decades! I had tentatively shared my innermost secret -- which was far more innocent back then than the things I'm into today -- with her in the mid-70s, but she somehow hoped I'd 'get the hint' and figure out that she wanted me to spank her. No chance, because there's no way I would ever consider doing anything that caused her physical pain!
But I eventually found out that some forms of what I considered pain, actually brought her great pleasure and sexual excitement. I'm all about that, so we started to experiment with consensual adult spanking, including joining Yahoo groups devoted to the subject and occasionally attending parties where she could be spanked behind closed doors by other men. We branched out from there, with her confessing that she was comfortable with the thought of her being a submissive.
I'll limit the scope of my comments here, and just say that our experimentation included light restraints, paddles and straps, Shibari and my attempt at playing 'Dom' with her, directing her activities in such a way as I pleased, which made her feel like a good sub. But we never got into extreme bdsm, and have pretty much backed away from all activities that might be considered in that arena.
I tend to be somewhat submissive, myself, so being a Dom doesn't come natural to me. I wish it did, though, because she's a wonderful woman, and I'd love for her to be able to be experience the fulfillment of her dreams.
I dabbled in BDSM for a few years, and I left it for two reasons:
1) I couldn't understand how inflicting pain on another person got you pleasure.
2) I can not see how receiving pain gives someone pleasure.
It was something that was on my Bucket list, tried it didn't like it, checked it off.
If it is to be, let it be with me
BDSM ? yeah been there done it....more sensory deprivation, bondage, smacking etc to heighten a mood or reaction......but not the non sexual aspect of caning / whipping people and inflicting pain...... we have a BDSM group in NZ and when 50 shades of grey came out, it sparked a lot of interest.... well the BDSM group ended up in the media because the head guy said they get it all wrong, BDSM is about pain, not sex, you thrash people until their buttocks bleed, its about inflicting pain not pleasure.......
The end result of that, was NZ ended up with new laws, like attempted strangulation and strangulation are now illegal crimes in NZ and for people that enjoy that during sex, shit themselves cos a consensual act is now illegal and the BDSM / sexual groups are very very careful who they let join them......and where there is one * victory * womens rights groups have decided that we need more laws further restricting consensual sexual acts... needless to say they are facing opposition from females who are saying hands off our sex lives.... its getting harder to get laid now
The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands
all i ever did was not for pain but sexual pleasure that both parties agreed to
BDSM is not my thing, but I do appreciate how seriously they take clear communication.
You are very strongly encouraged to specify your exact expectations, preferences, safe sex practices, desires, limits, safewords, aftercare, etc … all of it. Words you like to hear, ways you like to feel. You are responsible for communicating honestly, and for listening carefully to others, and for negotiating an agreeable scene. I like that. I like the control it forces people to take.
Of course, it is a very artificial construct, but it does define a safe space where people can ask for what they really want, even if it might mean playing a role to do so at first. I think many people need this structure, just to communicate honestly.
They do a lot of work with power and control. Lots of scenarios involving simulated slavery, punishment, abuse, rape, etc. Of course, the flip side of these is vulnerability, trust, intimacy, giving up control, etc. The sub/Dom dynamic is very common.
I had a side chick for a few years who was pretty kinky at times. She liked being submissive, being spanked and being tied up/restrained. I got her a "blowjob collar" that she would put on to being our sessions and also got a restrainng product that would bind her hands behind her back, and bind her ankles in a kneeling position and anchored by aa loop around her neck. Once she was hooked up, she was on her knees and could not move, except to suck my cock between my legs. I would have her look up at me and slap her face with my open hand and she really dug that. Then I would grab her head and force her down balls deep on my cock and she loved that. Sometimes I would insert a dildo in her pussty and a butt plug in her ass while she was servicing me and that usually drove her wild to climax. After sucking my cock and swallowing my cum, she would always look up and say, "Thank you Daddy".
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