Why is it so?

[dowmass]

I am curious, a bit unhappy (that's an understatement) and lost.
Why are there more bottoms than tops? I don't know if the numbers are right - they range from ONE top for every TEN bottoms to ONE top for every TWENTY bottoms.

I am not a data scientist, but as a bottom that can't find ONE top despite going round the world 5 times, I am wondering WHY this big disparity? One theory is that as one ages as a bottom (I am 60 and belong to this category), it is very difficult to find TOPS. The Younger tops are looking for younger bottoms and the TOPS in the 60 Plus age group are ALSO looking for younger bottoms.

Any views?

[Neonaught]

I am curious, a bit unhappy (that's an understatement) and lost.
Why are there more bottoms than tops? I don't know if the numbers are right - they range from ONE top for every TEN bottoms to ONE top for every TWENTY bottoms.

I am not a data scientist, but as a bottom that can't find ONE top despite going round the world 5 times, I am wondering WHY this big disparity? One theory is that as one ages as a bottom (I am 60 and belong to this category), it is very difficult to find TOPS. The Younger tops are looking for younger bottoms and the TOPS in the 60 Plus age group are ALSO looking for younger bottoms.

Any views?

I can't really address the distribution numbers but as a top I definitely don't have trouble finding bottoms of all ages.

[dowmass]

I can't really address the distribution numbers but as a top I definitely don't have trouble finding bottoms of all ages.

Exactly ! That is what I meant - It is easier for a TOP to find a BOTTOM, than the other way around. As I said there is an ACUTE SHORTAGE of tops.

I was just wondering why more people prefer to bottom than top.
On second thought, maybe I should find work and move from Dallas TX to Houston?

[playful808]

The lack of Tops seems to be a fact of life.
I think age plays a big part.
The Top / Bottom ratio is more balanced for young guys.
But as guys age, many lean to bottoming, and others lean to marriage.

I was comfortable playing with guys early on.
It took years for me to get comfortable with bottoming.

—-

I encourage bottoms out there to become versatile.
Use toys, fists, etc. Display adaptability.
“Give, as you would receive.”

[KDaddy23]

Over the years, I've noticed that when a lot of new guys got started, many wanted to be tops (even before this became a thing) because everyone knows that anything going in your butt hurts like you wouldn't believe and even with the number of gay men, finding a guy who really wanted you to stick it in their ass wasn't easy. Add in the "fact" that being the one to get fucked was too gay for a lot of guys and there seemed to be a glut of tops but not that many bottoms. Then it seemed to "turn around;" now bottoms outnumber tops - and I've heard a lot of other guys mention this including some tops who are finding themselves being hit on by other tops.

No way to gather stats on this so proving that this is really the case would be difficult but, yeah, that does seem to be an emerging trend on the surface of things. My protege and his "favorite bottom" often tell me about this... disparity; my protege, who is a top tells me about all the other tops who wanna poke him in da butt and his go-to guy - obviously a bottom - complains about not getting hit on by many tops - but a lot of bottoms are reaching out to him looking to be topped.

I have no idea what the heck is going on! Is it an age-related thing? Sorry, Playful, but I don't think it is but it does seem like this new "crop" of bi guys coming out have bottoming as their preferred activity from 18 year olds (and probably younger) to guys our age that are late to the party. Absent from this... thing is how it seems there are less versatile guys than I can remember unless you wanna count this "new" thing I've seen at times - guys who say they are vers/top or vers/bottom; for as long as I can remember, if a guy was versatile, that meant that he could top/bottom according to what he felt like experiencing and given the situation. So this new "classification" seems confusing to me.

[hung4you]

My sexual desires often end up with me as the bottom, I top on occasion but generally I want to bottom. I think the reason there is a large number of bottoms is because it feels so damn good to have a nice cock working our asses. I have lost track at how many loads I have taken in my ass, the throbbing dick dumping his load is something I crave. Lucky for me is I have a regular buddy who takes care of my need for anal.

[dowmass]

I feel happy for you that you have a regular - from what you wrote, you can bareback because you have a trustworthy partner. I can only visualize how it feels to have a dump of cum to fall into the ass-pussy. I have a hard time even finding a top. I have bottomed twice in 7 years... and haven't found a third because there are so many variable. I am absolutely happy for you and others here, who can have sex when the urge takes over - thanks for sharing your experiences - they mean a lot for the readers of this forum!

My sexual desires often end up with me as the bottom, I top on occasion but generally I want to bottom. I think the reason there is a large number of bottoms is because it feels so damn good to have a nice cock working our asses. I have lost track at how many loads I have taken in my ass, the throbbing dick dumping his load is something I crave. Lucky for me is I have a regular buddy who takes care of my need for anal.

[KDaddy23]

Obviously, gentlemen, there are tops out there; the real question is: Is there a top out there that you want in your butt? I don't know about you guys but I see a lot of guys here saying that they can't find someone to be with and in the way they want to be with - but it's not always because the pool of available guys is pitifully small.

It's because the guy who gets your ass has to be the right guy and not just "any old guy looking to fuck" - and that severely limits things and, perhaps, adds to the sense that tops are vanishing. Fact of the matter is if/when you're waiting for Mr. Right to come along, Mr. Right Now gets little attention paid to them. I can open A4A right now and find a lot of guys who'd want to fuck me... even when my profile says I'm not into that anymore so, yep, they're out there...

Just a matter, sometimes, if you're willing to deal with Mr. Right Now while you're waiting for Mr. Right to show up and, if not, well, there you go. I get the safety and discretion factors - they are never to be overlooked but, um, that's what they make condoms for and as far as discretion goes, taking the action away from where you live - even if it's to the other side of town - might be in order. End of the day, guys, it's all about what you're willing to do in order to get a top to do you. You get to be too discriminating, that again lowers your chances of success - a lot of guys (but not necessarily anyone here) raise the bar so high no one can reach it, making me always wonder which thing is more important: Your preferences... or your desire to feel a cock blowing up in your ass?

You do what you gotta do to get what you want, of course.

[Coastocoast]

I am a top strictly but when I hear a bottom telling me he has barebacked anything that gets hard it gets me going....my feet going and leaving. Many of us are looking for something a but more ongoing with one person... when I see blow and go history in their past and their present desire I put it in my past. Looking for something ongoing and safe to me is someone who is single and available, willing to talk with you to see if you are on the same page. Of all of the bottoms I have spoken to there are FEW looking for what I am looking for.

[stonebow]

I am curious, a bit unhappy (that's an understatement) and lost.
Why are there more bottoms than tops? I don't know if the numbers are right - they range from ONE top for every TEN bottoms to ONE top for every TWENTY bottoms.

I am not a data scientist, but as a bottom that can't find ONE top despite going round the world 5 times, I am wondering WHY this big disparity? One theory is that as one ages as a bottom (I am 60 and belong to this category), it is very difficult to find TOPS. The Younger tops are looking for younger bottoms and the TOPS in the 60 Plus age group are ALSO looking for younger bottoms.

Any views?

The poll elsewhere in this forum would also seem to bear you out....more of us are bottoms than tops. I've learned to adapt. The two guys I've played most with lately are also bottoms but we switch according to the mood and circumstances.

[new day]

My bisexual experience is very, very limited. That said, I have observed that many men I've talked to online, who enjoy sex with another man, want to play a submissive role. I've come to think that many men want a feminine girlfriend experience, to experience sex as a woman would. Having a man take charge and treat them like a woman seems to be a huge turn on for them. That might also account for the segment of bi men who take it further and enjoy cross dressing. I've never engaged in anal sex with a man, but with the women in my past, it was always them requesting the act. My conclusion is that bottoming comes from the desire to be the submissive party. Women always seem to like a man who can take the lead and show strength. It does not surprise me that a man who is usually in the dominant role might want to experience the submissive role. If it ever got to anal with a man, I feel I'd be a top.

[jem_is_bi]

End of the day, guys, it's all about what you're willing to do in order to get a top to do you. You get to be too discriminating, that again lowers your chances of success - a lot of guys (but not necessarily anyone here) raise the bar so high no one can reach it, making me always wonder which thing is more important: Your preferences... or your desire to feel a cock blowing up in your ass?

You do what you gotta do to get what you want, of course.

I totally agree, I have never had a problem getting what I want.
I keep as safe as I can, but, I know what I want and I get it.

[jem_is_bi]

If it ever got to anal with a man, I feel I'd be a top.

I feel the same way. I love giving oral sex. But, I definitely want to be a top for anal sex.
Even, oral sex I like to be in charge of the action.

[playful808]

....more of us are bottoms than tops. I've learned to adapt. The two guys I've played most with lately are also bottoms but we switch according to the mood and circumstances.

I love this. Want to bottom more? Learn to top.
If all bottoms did this (took turns topping), there would be fewer unhappy bottoms in the world.

Topping is an attitude, not a dick size.
“Hey bottom. I am going to read your mind like a book, and drive your ass like a car, and stretch you like a rubber band, and poke your prostate a lot, and fuck you silly, without mercy. Then I get to bottom, and you get to show off.”