Born that way
First sexual experience was gay
Later sexual experience was gay
Other
Hi, I know most bi buys were likely always that way, but I wonder how many were like me, and it was only through a (first time) gay experience in your formative years that introduced you to something you'd never normally have tried? And you couldn't forget it?
The emotional aspects aside, yeah, it usually takes a gay experience to kickstart a few things. You and a friend are sitting around talking, maybe bored, whatever, and "the next thing you know" he's sucking your dick, something you may or may not have ever given any though to although you might have heard about it. He blows you and it feels very strange and very wonderful; maybe you two do it again at some other point or you don't... but you don't ever forget that moment. Now you're at a bit of a crossroads: You like having sex with girls but you can't forget that blowjob your boy gave you and all of a sudden it just makes sense to enjoy sex in a bisexual way. How we somehow manage to "do the math" and this makes sense is something that has always fascinated me and more so when, prior to that moment of discovery, it never even crossed your mind and, in some circumstances, you didn't even know that boys did that stuff with other boys.
You don't always have to be in your early and formative years to come to this conclusion but I've learned that guys who did experience it when younger have fewer problems adjusting to it versus guys who don't get to have this experience until much later in their lives. Over my life to date, I've forgotten a whole lot of shit... but not my first experience with a dick (or a pussy). It's either going to be a defining moment in your life or it isn't... or because you remember it, it could redefine things later.
Are we born this way? My position is that we're all born with the potential to adopt whatever sexuality winds up working for us and with the added thing of knowing that something can happen at any time that'll get us to change our minds about it. Societal norms say we should all be heterosexual but the reality says we can be not so heterosexual - and that first gay experience is part of the reality, not that everyone just automatically has one; I know some guys who avoided or managed to miss that early experimentation moment in their youth... didn't miss it into their adult years, though.
My first sexual experience was with a girl - I mean, who knew that girls weren't really that yucky and weird? My next landmark experience was with a man... and who the fuck knew that something that's supposedly so bad could feel so damned good and exciting? Somehow "did the math" and okay - doing it it boys and girls will work just fine, and thanks to everyone who make this possible!
Last edited by KDaddy23; Aug 12, 2019 at 2:53 PM.
My situation was interesting and my answer would be yes but not in my formative years. I never did any male male play as a kid, never thought about it. I was molested as a kid (10, the Adult with a white collar and black robe) but pretty much put it on the it happened, it was an adult, I was not willing and it was over page. I Got my first taste of pussy fairly young, loved it and never really thought about male male sex at all. In my early 30's I was at a BBQ and got horned up chasing a woman around in the pool, she went home early, I was disappointed. I was ready to go home alone later figuring I was going to jerk off. I gave a guy I knew was bisexual a ride home at the request of the host, he had too much to drink. Long story short, he made a move on me as we were heading up the dangerous canyon driveway to his home and he got his hand firmly on my cock. By the time I got the car stopped, his face was heading towards my exposed cock. I was upset, could have rolled off the embankment and thought about slapping him upside the head. I did notice I was getting hard from his hand on me and knew where he wanted to go as I stopped, put it in park and set the parking brake. When he said relax and enjoy it, in a split second I made a decision I had never considered before, I leaned the seat back and went with it. Next thing I knew my shorts were on the floor, my knees where up and he was blowing me playing with my balls and asshole. I was starting to get to that point of no return when reality set in. Not about it being a guy blowing me, but what happens next? My personal reality is I have never allowed a woman to go down on me that I was not willing to reciprocate the favor with and I was letting this guy blow me. I was straight as a arrow a few minutes ago, I now have a guy about to make me cum and I resigned in my head I am going to need to repay the favor in kind. He worked me good, his playing with my ass and balls made it intense, I came as hard as I ever had and he swallowed every bit of it. I took some deep breaths, recovered a few seconds, told myself it will be ok just do it and I moved towards him. I started up the leg of his swim suit and got my hand on him, he was hard, my mouth heading for it. He looked at me, stopped me, said no, got out of the car and said goodnight. I went home and wondered what it would have been like having a guy cum in my mouth, if I had blown him I would have let him and swallowed, he had. I got married a few years later and never had another male male experience until after I was divorced. I had an event working out with a friend that lead to a sexual relationship that lasted better than a year. I am certain had he not made a move on me or had I not allowed it, I would never have had another male male experience and I would not be bisexual. I have no regrets and have no problems with my sexuality but the event shaped who I am.
I was born this way, always had the curiosity and once exposed to porn I enjoyed both gay and straight but was firmly in denial. It was a friend who made me look inwards and reflect. I'm still in the closet but no longer in denial.
“Are we born this way? My position is that we're all born with the potential to adopt whatever sexuality winds up working for us and with the added thing of knowing that something can happen at any time that'll get us to change our minds about it. Societal norms say we should all be heterosexual but the reality says we can be not so heterosexual - and that first gay experience is part of the reality, not that everyone just automatically has one; I know some guys who avoided or managed to miss that early experimentation moment in their youth... didn't miss it into their adult years, though.”
I would like to reinforce KDaddy’s statement.
I believe that we are all born bisexual. The terms heterosexual & homosexual are imposed upon us by society and religion. For the ancient Greeks and Romans these terms did not exist. If two males are together and they both consent to sex, or if two females are together and they both consent to sex, why wouldn’t they enjoy each other? Just as if a female and a male consent to sex, and enjoy each other. Consent, however, is what is most important.
One day when I was 15, I just knew that I wanted sex with men and women....Born this way!
If it is to be, let it be with me
My first MM experience started in the local bar. I was 21 or 22. It was a busy night so it wasn't a surprised when a man sat next to me. There was nothing threatening about him. We talked for a while. It was close to 50 years ago, so I can't remember many of the details.
Probably should add some background:
Hard core (do'in it) porn was illegal. I'd watched some hetero movies in the upstairs room of the firehouse after meetings. I remember wanting to look at the other guys laps to see the outlines of their hard cocks and how big their wet spots were, but wouldn't want anyone to think I wasn't all man. "When a woman gives one bj she's a keeper. When a man does it he's a cock sucker for life."
My first live-in GF of two years had moved on. She was older and incredible in the sack. She gave me my first blowjob and many more. She really liked doing it except that I was always done after she swallowed my load, and I couldn't fuck her. I learned how to suck cock from excellent her example. She left behind a few hard core paperbacks with mm scenes in them. (no pictures) Those scenes turned me on as much as the MF ones, and I was in a very dry spell.
Back at the bar. Eventually the guy asked me if I would like to come home with him. I knew what he wanted and was quite willing. The bar owner was standing right in front of us drawing some beers and paying close attention while this exchange went on. He was a member of the same fire company. I was so horny that I fooled myself into believing my leaving with this guy could be perfectly innocent. More on him later.
The guy followed me home where I left my car halfway up the driveway stuck in the snow. He had explained that he didn't want the neighbors to see my car parked over night in his driveway. (It was safer in the closet.)
We went in and pretty near right to the bedroom. I was introduced to his partner who came in to gather a few things and went off to sleep in the guest room. It didn't take us long to get undressed and under the covers where I dove under and hungrily sucked his cock into my mouth. He was a little surprised but wasted no time putting a lip lock on my hardon. It didn't take us long, and I didn't mind the taste. In fact it tasted a little like my GF's pussy sometimes when she'd come home late from bar hopping with her girl friend.
When he dropped me off at my place he wanted to go again, but I was too freaked out about having crossing that line. I even turned him down the next time we met in the bar.
I had done some extensive renovations in the bar and sometime after my gay initiation the owner suggested I talk a friend of his about an addition on his business. I made an appointment and went to see him. We sat across the the counter of his establishment discussing a possible job. It seemed we were alone. All of the sudden the bar owner casually side stepped out of a room behind the counter. The best description I could give of his build that he could have been a believably worthy opponent of Arnold Schwarzenegger's in a movie without any padding. He even had a deep voice to match. It wasn't an unpleasant surprise to see him there until my eyes locked onto his huge half hard cock hanging out of his fly. I was still upset about becoming queer and took the first opportunity to leave. DARN! that could have been an unforgettable afternoon! (not to mention some job site fun)
I've posted it before: I started playing with a few dudes at 14. We all watched porn and jerked off together. We had gal pals and were athletic and hetero. We would get together and share homework assignments to get them done quickly, so we could have more time to read Screw, Swank, and watch super-8 porno's that belonged to my buddy Mike's dad, who's house we played in. One day it's just me and Mike. We're watching a gal suck off a dude and he asked if he sucked mine would I suck his ? Well, lo and behold we ended up spending most of that summer after school let out playing in his basement and parents bed and shower. We used his parents sex toys and lubes and had a blast ! While we both had girlfriends and didn't think about becoming gay, we did realize having sex with both men and women was okay...only a few years later did I realize there was such a thing as being "bi"....I met a couple through a personal's ad in the village voice newspaper. I worked in NYC and picked it up and discovered the personal ads. I met a few guys, gals and then saw the couple ads and wrote one...I learned that (for me anyway) a MFM was heaven...! I don't know if I would have become bi without the experiences I had with my friends. I lost track of Mike. His mom passed and his dad packed the family up, sold the house and they moved and I don't know where....we had fun.
my 1st time was 3some with a man and his wife i fucked his wife and sucked his cock while i was fucking her then he fucked me in the ass later that night we went 69 and she watched as i fucked his ass been bi last 10 years
No. A bi experience made me bi!
Science, genetics specifically, says that we are born to whatever sexuality we happen to be.
Whether we recognize it early on in ourselves or not, is usually a condition of fate. Freddy Mercury was in his 20's, and had a fiance, when he had his 1st gay experience and recognized that he was not straight.
I was in my pre-teen years.
Some people discover it when they are experimenting as kids and others go through that phase when they are in their later years. I think that upbringing has an effect on how we address it growing up.
It is a lot easier to express your own sexuality today than it was in my younger days or my parents day. More and more kids are coming out as LGBT at earlier ages and it really has nothing to do with choice, but what your own body and mind tell you what you are rather than what society tells you what they say you are supposed to be.
THE GENETICS OF HOMOSEXUALITY | Serendip's Exchange
Scientists claim to have solved the ‘evolutionary riddle of homosexuality’ – LGBTQ Nation
Yea and most bibles says only the devil causes it, many people say bisexuals are just gays who won't admit it and I think trying to lump all cases into a single explanation is bullshit. People are the way they are for MANY different reasons, there is no one explanation. Most trying to do so are just trying to explain why their point of view is correct (Religion, LGBTQ Nation, others) instead of just acknowledging that life takes many routes.
I don't normally quote an entire post, but think this one is so on-the-money that it needs to be repeated.Originally Posted by Coastocoast
Well said -- couldn't agree more with you on this.
Although I did have a few encounters during my formative years, I always dated women and never gave it much thought. It was only since I've been alone that I started to recall those meetings and wonder what it would be like to recreate them now - and more. That will likely never happen, but they are nice thoughts.
My understanding is that biologists are pretty sure that there is a strong genetic component to sexuality, but there's more to sexuality than just genetics. There is no single "gay gene" just like there is no single gene for many phenotypic traits we have (tho there are for some, like sickle cell anemia). Genetics matter but they're not everything.
As a trained Biologist who has taken Genetics I agree completely. Most traits are not the end product of a single gene anyway.
for me, my first sexual experience (meaning with another individual as opposed to solo) was a gay one with my best friend. So that is how I voted of course. After reading about the thoughts on genetics above, I suspect that they play a part. For instance, when I did have my gay experience with my best friend, I know it could have just as easily not happened If I had said no way in response to his invitation. But the reality was that I jumped at the chance which may have been my genes contributing what ever they contribute to my bisexuality.
My interest in having a sexual experience with a man evolved over time. I never thought about it at all until I was about 40. The increased availability of written and video erotica helped me to seek out various types of sexual interaction. My first thoughts of being with a man might have come from Penthouse Forums magazines. A section devoted to stories about men being with men for the first time got my attention. From there I would occasionally see man on man play in video. I initially felt guilty and strange being aroused by that type of content. As time went on I realized I was far from being the only man who had bisexual interests. It took years for me to admit that I wanted to act on the desires that had grown in my mind. I finally met another man while on an out of town business trip. It was a great experience. While I am mostly straight and prefer women, I can appreciate and really enjoy the different pleasures that a man can offer.
my first experience was with a guy went to a friends apt he took his huge cock out asked me to suck it said no he came over to me and forced it into my mouth and fucked it he started cumming thought he would never stop swallowed all his cum went home jerked off and swallowed my own I kept going back to him and we played the game for months until one day I saw him naked and his cock soft dropped to my knees and sucked his cock for the first time he came and said know I was his personal cock sucker and I was for years got to measure his cock it was 11 inches gave me a complex about my 6 incher His was my first but I sucked many more as a teen
It’s difficult to say, my first contact was female but we never came, just touching. We were very young. A couple of years later I had contact with a male friend, we would jerk each other off. I didn’t get aroused by touching him but his touch made me very aroused, especially when he jerked me all the way to ejaculation. It felt so good, we did it all summer. Then I stopped.
Fast forward a few years to when he and I were 18 and we were together after a graduation party, I knew he would give it try even though I had refused for about 4 years. We had been drinking and we continued after we left and parked in the woods to keep from being pulled over. When he put his hand on my thigh and asked could we do it just for tonight I gave in. He played with me and had my jeans down to my knees and I hadn’t touched him, I was seeing how long he would jerk me with me not reciprocating.
After a a few minutes I was getting really aroused and reached for his crotch, he immediately ripped his jeans down and I was in a bit of shock from the size of his dick. I was a much bigger stronger athlete and he was a skinny nerdy type. His cock was much larger than mine and we had been the same size as kids. That was the first time I was aroused by something other than his touch. I was amazed at his size although he was only 7.5 inches he was also much thicker. In only a little while I had him in my mouth and was enjoying sucking him immensely. I only stopped for a second since he wanted to suck on me some. I wanted to suck him more than I wanted to be sucked. I finished him in my mouth for his first blowjob, we kept this up on the sly for the next five years.
I would have to say it was that contact and the excitement of his being larger. It felt good feeling sort of sub to him.
I don’t doubt there is biology involved but the only guys I’m attracted to are like he was, quite and shy and skinny’s with a big fat cock, I love seeing their big cock held against my smaller five skinny inches. There have been few and far between over the past many years but they still excite me.
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