Need Advice - Please don't laugh!

[dowmass]

So I am 60, and my first bi experience was when I was in grade 9 or something - nothing big - just some touching JO etc. Decades later, it appears that my "bottom" ghost is alive in kicking - but here's the situation. When CL was around, I got topped twice, by two different people - great experiences, the last being in April 2017. Now that CL is gone, I cannot find anyone to be with.

I am married, and on DL and a TOTAL BOTTOM. I'd rather have a regular TOP to be for reasons of discretion and safety. The irony is that I can't find even one guy to have one top to have a ONE TIME F@CK.

At this time, I cannot think of anything other than Silverdaddies, this site and Double list. - All these have been useless because all I have found is flakes, picture collectors, time wasters and Non-Serious people, who write beautiful emails a few times, and then stop writing. There are times when I don't get a single reply on Doublelist. I cannot host- and the ones's that are interested either cannot either or don't want to and nothing happens.

So I did some analysis, but I will really appreciate getting your inputs.

1) The age of 60 may be a put off - even for TOPS of that age because they are looking for younger bottoms.
2) These sites probably have a high number of fake profiles or bots. 3) The people who write never intended to do anything other than write emails


Anyways - 1) I am at my wits end. I am horny and need to find someone. I am sure there is one person in Dallas TX who might be interested, but I can't find him why?
2) Doe anyone have experiences with Ashley Madison/Plenty of Fish/Adult friend finder etc. Other than these, are there sites that would work (I don't mind the $)
3) Am I doing something wrong or missing out on something - like is there an "IDEAL POST" that will connect me to my top?


Thanks for your replies!

[Riderinthestorm]

I use AFF and have had some success with it. Now, due to the nature of the site, pretty much all of them are inundated with the flakes and fakes that you mentioned. You just have to watch out for them. When you are contacted, be straight (excuse the pun) up with them that you are looking for real world meets in person. Make sure that it is right there in your profile. Anyone that can't be bothered to read a profile is worthless anyway.

Alternatively, you could try hitting some of the LGBT local bars and try your luck there. It may take a few weeks to get yourself established, but it will be worth it.

[dowmass]

Thank you so much - I think I'll go the AFF route. I wish I could go to local bars, but the wife is home all the time. I don't want to raise any suspicions.

[Bidirectional4u]

be patient, Aff can be a good place to look, never know, My wife and I will be moving to the area around Ft worth in a couple years, we may end up meeting.

[bimwmoh]

Your age shouldn't be a problem. The are lots of married men around that age that are interested in sex with other married men. Try squirt. Org.
I have had great luck there and have found lots of married cock to suck.

[playful808]

In my opinion, AFF has more flakes than the other sites because guys go there to watch people on cam.
Many guys have no intention of meeting anyone, but they still have to set up a profile.

I find A4A to be much better than AFF, but it is still a hookup site.

The best way to get what you really want is to ask for it, clearly and honestly.

[Coastocoast]

There are 90% flakes and fakes and most cannot or will not read. When the first thing they ask you is something clearly spelled out in an ad or profile you just get into the WTF mode. I state I am clearly looking for an unattached person, need to sit down face to face and talk first because I want something ongoing, not a one time thing. I get constant "my wife is out you got 20 minutes for a blow" and go and I just shake my head. Cold hard reality is you will be more likely to find what you are looking for, most on all sites, in all forums and with all ads are married looking for a onetime side fling. Keep looking, YOU will find what you are looking for.

[dowmass]

You are absolutely right - There are two four types -
1) The one liner guys, who are never the serious types.
2) The ones that sound serious but aren't (The one who will write eloquent essays about what they will do in the bedroom, that will send a pic or two, and then stop writing.
3) The last ones that say "I can host, but need help with gas and rent) (I would never do that).
4) The fourth and last will write "My girlfriend is away till 2.00 pm (it's already 12.30) . Can you make it?


I read online that this is a huge problem because most people get a vicarious kick out of writing - and never meeting. On the other hand you hear that there are folks who have found people online - Maybe it is an issue of persistence and luck?

[Finally]

Well if you were in The Houston area I would be happy to help you out.

[Christopher South]

I've had good luck with Silverdaddies. Yes there are flakes and fakes but you got plenty of those back on craigslist.

Part of the problem is that I think older guys tend to be bottoms so looking for a top your age is tough. I initially posted on SD as a bottom and barely got any interest. Was desperate for some m2m intimacy so posted as a top. I have three guys (bottoms) that I meet regularly. None have interest in topping so I guess if I want to meet guys, it has to be as a top.

If your posting as a bottom, you may want to change to versitile.

[yeahso]

I have been on numerous sites. A4A, AFF, and most of the sites have a lot of fakes and flakes. One of my biggest turn offs is guys who cheat. They are usually middle aged or older, the wife has frozen them out, and now they are looking to switch over to the other side. Sorry. Not for me. Bad karma. The real problem with any site, dating or hook up, most of the people don't want to date people on that site. It is ultimately a numbers game.

[SilkyHoseLover]

One of my biggest turn offs is guys who cheat. They are usually middle aged or older, the wife has frozen them out, and now they are looking to switch over to the other side.

Love to have a $ for every time I've heard that story!!!!

[dowmass]

I have been on numerous sites. A4A, AFF, and most of the sites have a lot of fakes and flakes. One of my biggest turn offs is guys who cheat. They are usually middle aged or older, the wife has frozen them out, and now they are looking to switch over to the other side. Sorry. Not for me. Bad karma

Well you are entitled to your opinion.

However, how many can really be in a relationship where the wife knows that her spouse is sleeping with another man?
Going by “karma “, even being gay or Bi is a Sin”, though I don’t necessarily think so.

Think again, why would we have the term “Down low” in the first place?

[NjbiGuy01]

Silverdaddies and Adam4Adam have been somewhat useful. Like anything on the internet, it's hit or miss.

[csreef]

I'd say find your local LGBT Center and if they have a Bisexual support group, start attending meetings (Target Rich environment) . Good luck, and let us know how things are progressing.

[dowmass]

I'd say find your local LGBT Center and if they have a Bisexual support group, start attending meetings (Target Rich environment) . Good luck, and let us know how things are progressing.

Do I just do a google search for LGBT Center? Any idea how this "Bisexual support group" works? How about "meet up" groups - do they work?

[by~his~side]

Do I just do a google search for LGBT Center? Any idea how this "Bisexual support group" works? How about "meet up" groups - do they work?

I just did a Google search for LGBT centers in Grand Prarie, TX. ( Just a random area that I picked around the D/FW area. I have no idea where you are in relation to Grand Prarie.)
I got several support groups, centers and meet up groups within 25 miles of Grand Prarie, TX. It took less than 11 seconds.
I clicked on meet ups - Ifun Dallas, Midcity Socials, GAYmers, Alliance Socials, dfw LGBT Social, Naked Yoga, Horsebackriding, Dallas Ft Worth LGBTQ Professionals.....just to name a few.
The stuff you seek is out there, dowmass. You just need to look around a bit.
You are in a better situation than many fellas on here in that you live in an area where these types of activities are promoted and easy to find. Take advantage of that!
Good luck!

[dowmass]

I cannot thank you enough for taking the trouble of doing that google search. What is important in my search is to find a healthy discrete person, in a similar situation.
I have a question for you and others - has anyone used a PAID site like BICUPID, PLENTY OF FISH OR ASHLEY MADISON?
Has anyone had some success?

I just did a Google search for LGBT centers in Grand Prarie, TX. ( Just a random area that I picked around the D/FW area. I have no idea where you are in relation to Grand Prarie.)
I got several support groups, centers and meet up groups within 25 miles of Grand Prarie, TX. It took less than 11 seconds.
I clicked on meet ups - Ifun Dallas, Midcity Socials, GAYmers, Alliance Socials, dfw LGBT Social, Naked Yoga, Horsebackriding, Dallas Ft Worth LGBTQ Professionals.....just to name a few.
The stuff you seek is out there, dowmass. You just need to look around a bit.
You are in a better situation than many fellas on here in that you live in an area where these types of activities are promoted and easy to find. Take advantage of that!
Good luck!

[williamg]

So I am 60, and my first bi experience was when I was in grade 9 or something - nothing big - just some touching JO etc. Decades later, it appears that my "bottom" ghost is alive in kicking - but here's the situation. When CL was around, I got topped twice, by two different people - great experiences, the last being in April 2017. Now that CL is gone, I cannot find anyone to be with.

I am married, and on DL and a TOTAL BOTTOM. I'd rather have a regular TOP to be for reasons of discretion and safety. The irony is that I can't find even one guy to have one top to have a ONE TIME F@CK.

At this time, I cannot think of anything other than Silverdaddies, this site and Double list. - All these have been useless because all I have found is flakes, picture collectors, time wasters and Non-Serious people, who write beautiful emails a few times, and then stop writing. There are times when I don't get a single reply on Doublelist. I cannot host- and the ones's that are interested either cannot either or don't want to and nothing happens.

So I did some analysis, but I will really appreciate getting your inputs.

1) The age of 60 may be a put off - even for TOPS of that age because they are looking for younger bottoms.
2) These sites probably have a high number of fake profiles or bots. 3) The people who write never intended to do anything other than write emails


Anyways - 1) I am at my wits end. I am horny and need to find someone. I am sure there is one person in Dallas TX who might be interested, but I can't find him why?
2) Doe anyone have experiences with Ashley Madison/Plenty of Fish/Adult friend finder etc. Other than these, are there sites that would work (I don't mind the $)
3) Am I doing something wrong or missing out on something - like is there an "IDEAL POST" that will connect me to my top?


Thanks for your replies!

Late answer but... Many of us (including you) need discretion. You can't host. Most probably they can't host either. I'm running into the same situation. But I do realize I have two things against me
1. I can't host.
2. I am married.
I now know I am the flake. And here I am looking for another married guy. I have to time it with my life. And he needs to do the same. No easy answer. I just think there are many variables in the discreet dating scene. And by the way, I would be a total bottom too. IF... I could meet another married discreet top who just happens to have the same time available as me! How hard is that? Now I have a boner...

[NYC-BF-WM]

I have a question for you and others - has anyone used a PAID site like BICUPID, PLENTY OF FISH OR ASHLEY MADISON?
Has anyone had some success?

We are a bi couple on SLS. We played with a guy last Saturday that made contact on SLS. We were both at Pendulum for big monthly bi couples party.
Adding: this is in NYC.

[dowmass]

"We are a bi couple on SLS"
What is "SLS" - may be a dumb question though!

[sysper]

"We are a bi couple on SLS"
What is "SLS" - may be a dumb question though!

swingerlifestyle.com

[querty]

We are a bi couple on SLS. We played with a guy last Saturday that made contact on SLS. We were both at Pendulum for big monthly bi couples party.
Adding: this is in NYC.

I too am on SLS as a couple (querty1962) and have meet some really great Bi Couples. Its only worth it if you are a paid member

[dowmass]

I too am on SLS as a couple (querty1962) and have meet some really great Bi Couples. Its only worth it if you are a paid member

This would work only if we are a couple, right? I am not out and she doesn't know. So SLS may not work, Am I right?

[SilkyHoseLover]

swingerlifestyle.com

Make that swinglifestyle.com...

[SilkyHoseLover]

This would work only if we are a couple, right? I am not out and she doesn't know. So SLS may not work, Am I right?

SLS is not restricted to couples, but many on there have a bias against 'single' males, especially ones who are married and on the down-low.

Also, there aren't a lot of BI men to be found, but there are a lot of BI women. You may find out that some of the men really are BI, but they don't have the stones to admit it in their profile. The first guy to ever suck my cock was a 'straight' guy from SLS... Happened during a MFM with my wife.

Since you can realistically only get something out of it if you become a paying member, it's probably not a good fit for you.

[NYC-BF-WM]

SLS is not restricted to couples, but many on there have a bias against 'single' males, especially ones who are married and on the down-low.

Also, there aren't a lot of BI men to be found, but there are a lot of BI women. You may find out that some of the men really are BI, but they don't have the stones to admit it in their profile. The first guy to ever suck my cock was a 'straight' guy from SLS... Happened during a MFM with my wife.

Since you can realistically only get something out of it if you become a paying member, it's probably not a good fit for you.

Both the guy we played with and us are paying members. For free you can look around a lot and see the list of parties and swing clubs. The swing clubs often have a URL to go to the the club web site. Bi events are listed.
You can not exchange email on the site if you are not a paying member.
You can find people by ZIP code. We are listed with a Manhattan Zip code as NYC_BF_WM
If you wanna look around go to
http://www.swinglifestyle.com/?signup=Open2variety

[dowmass]

I don't know anyone might have an answer:

What are the chances that either a BI GUY or a BI COUPLE might be interested in playing with me - given that:

1) I am NOT OUT (Especially because this is a "Swingers" club?
2) I am a bottom (would love to please both - and have the "Man" take my rear.

Both the guy we played with and us are paying members. For free you can look around a lot and see the list of parties and swing clubs. The swing clubs often have a URL to go to the the club web site. Bi events are listed.
You can not exchange email on the site if you are not a paying member.
You can find people by ZIP code. We are listed with a Manhattan Zip code as NYC_BF_WM
If you wanna look around go to
http://www.swinglifestyle.com/?signup=Open2variety