just found out myy wife has cancer. what am i to do. i want to die
just found out myy wife has cancer. what am i to do. i want to die
some members have lost loved ones, some have lost them to cancer.... I have lost 3 partners total and am about to lost a male lover in the next 2 months..... if you are looking for answers on how to cope with the news you have shared, I have no answers cos honestly I have no fucking idea how I coped... in fact I think I fell apart but somehow I managed to do it while being an unmovable and solid block of support for other people......
Now I am not going to ask for details, I am not sure you would even be able to give details cos your mind and heart are a complete mess..... so my only advice is take baby steps cos your wife needs you as much as you need her and she may be handling it differently to you......and look out for the right people to have around you to provide help and support cos somedays cleaning the house will be the last thing either of you care about, cooking meals is just not on the list and coping is taking everything you have....so having people cover the background stuff, is not really helping you but its keeping an aspect of normal life in the background.... and trust me, picking up the bits can be very difficult for some people.... I buried myself in my work for a few years until my body gave me a giant F U and my heart said either I stop working so hard or my heart was going to stop working........
The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands
thank you
I have lost loved ones to cancer, Young and old I also have loved ones that have fought back from very advanced cancer and, many years later, are alive, healthy and happy. Cancer is a terrifying diagnosis, but is not an automatic death sentence. Hold on to hope as best you can.
It may be a long hard fight, and I wish you both all the best.
>what am I to do<
First, get into therapy...they will help you get into the mental mindset.
Then, get ready to help her with the toughest fight. You dont give in and you follow doctors orders and good diet, and all the healthy activity that supports beating cancer.
Then, you celebrate when you helped her beat cancer...
Good luck
what type of cancer if you don't mind sharingOriginally Posted by mr bill
Having cancer and dying of cancer are two different things. What is her prognosis? Treatable or terminal? I've survived two round with head and neck cancer so it can be done. You are supposed to be feeling low but dying helps her in her fight how exactly? Take a few deep breaths and start planning the battle!
Sorry to hear this of your wife hope you stay strong man
Very sorry to hear this, mr bill. Love her and make sure that she knows it! Make the most of every day, and build memories for the future. This advice is well-taken by all of us, regardless of the time we have remaining.
Hope to hear that you wife's plight isn't quite as serious as you are fearing at the moment. Finding out is frightening and often devastating. My best wishes for successful treatment and more years together for you both.
My female partner discovered a lump a year ago last January. She took it real hard and was in shock for months. I held her hand a lot and we shared many tears.
There's much that the medical establishment can do these days -- despite a lot of problems with our health care industry.
She went through surgery and they took out the tumor successfully. But she has to endure regular check-ups, and, of course, she dreads the day that the cancer might reoccur.
I think it's important to be there for those we love. Our loving and compassionate presence can make a huge difference.
Mr. Bill, please know that anyone who reads your thread will be sending positive energy her way!
If it is to be, let it be with me
update:er doc said cancer. reg. doc said not sure until byopsy even then only two small spots
thanks for the update mr bill and keep us undated....
The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands
mr bill I'm a stage 4 metastatic cancer survivor. I'm 10 years cancer free and living life to the fullest. I won't pull any punches. The protocol was brutal but I'm still here thanks to family, friends, modern medicine and lots of prayers. It's not a death sentence. Sounds like it may not be as bad as you were told and my hope for you and your wife is its not. But if it is cancer, she is going to need you more than ever. You will be her strength to help her navigate through the gamet and keep things as normal as possible. I always say it's harder on the care giver than the patient. My best advice is if you guys have a trusted friend or family member see if they will go with you to your doctor appts as another pair of eyes and ears and can be objective. Ask them if they can take notes and ask questions. My step daughter was there for us. Funny how after a doc tells you that you have cancer you don't seem to hear anything else. Talk to the nurses. They run everything and will take the time to help you understand what your wife is up against and how to prepare yourselves for the battle ahead. They are much more compassionate and understanding than the doctors. Don't get me wrong those oncologists work hard to save lives and they are great people but they can't let themselves get emotionally vested. Cancer sucks and it's an epidemic. I've lost 5 good male friends, my mother, 2 Aunts and a close girl friend plus my own battle. If it is the big C hopefully it's in the early stages. Good luck and stay strong.
Last edited by DD788Snipe; Feb 14, 2020 at 1:41 AM.
I hope the prognosis is good and it's treatable. All you can do is support your wife and be there for her. I wish you all the best.
My wife died of lung cancer in 2000 and I was sure I'd never find another soul-mate, especially one that accepted me for being bi. But I'll be damned if I didn't find someone (on match.com, bi the way) who was even thrilled that I am bi and I introduced her to her bisexuality as well. I WILL NOT say everything works out for the best...damn I hated when folks said that...but what I will say is that there's a whole world out there and damn good doctors too. Good luck. We're thinking about you.
Seven years ago my wife was diagnosed with stage 3b ovarian cancer. Looking at the statistics for survival was scary (only 36% survive 5 years). Our oncologist stressed the fact that statistics are only numbers for the general population. Each person is an individual of the set that makes up the statistic so if you beat the cancer you have a 100% survival rate. Through surgery/chemo/remission, recurrence/radiation/chemo/remission, recurrence/chemo/remission, recurrence/imunotherapy/chemo (6 different combinations of drugs so far) my wife beat the 5 year statistic (not cured, just made it past 5 years). There are lots of options that can be used for treatment and believe it or not not everyone has the nasty side effects that you always hear about with treatments. My wife would pick me up at work on chemo days and after treatment she would drop me off and go shopping. Generally there would be 2 days where she pretty much slept all day (luckily our schedule put them on the weekend) then she would be OK until the next treatment. She has continued working through all the treatments and feels good most of the time. We just got told this week that the latest chemo isn't working and her body is "tired and needs a break". They are stopping treatment for 2 months to let her rejuvenate then will try another round of chemo. We have been told it's getting to be time for us to get our affairs in order but to hope for the best.
That's our history and, for us, we tried to maintain our lifestyle as normal as possible. As caregivers, our job is to support them in every way possible which includes encouraging them when needed, pushing them to fight if necessary, and helping them get through the low times. We are there to remain positive and to try not to let them get down no matter how low we feel ourselves. It's hard to hide your own emotions and it's important for you to find someone who understands and that you can vent to when needed. After time you realize that this is your "new normal". Find the best doctors you can and trust that they know what they are doing to treat the cancer. Enjoy the time available and live the life you have. That's good advice for all of us because we never know what the future will bring.
I wish you well.
You will get through this.
Be prepared though.
Everyone will ask how's your wife, never how are you.
My wife is 4 years this month diagnosed stage 4 metastatic breast cancer.
I myself have basil skin cancer.
She was originally diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010 and underwent chemotherapy, mastectomy, radiation and reconstructive surgery in the following 18 months. All while suffering suicidal levels of depression.
Today she is on a therapy regime of a number of drugs.
A cancer diagnosis is not, I repeat not, a death sentence.
When my first cancer hit the wife and I were having a rough time after I busted her having an affair. I was very much alone for the whole ordeal. No one should have to go through that.
I understand you very much! My wife has also suffered of cancer, and after she finished her treatment, my dad and my sister were also diagnosed with cancer. Man, that was the toughest period of my life. I was also thinking about ... suicide actually. However I understood that I had to be strong and help them as much as I can. Eventually, my dad died but he fought till the end. At last, I have decided to fill in for a life insurance after all those events. I knew that it is a really... meticulous process. Due to some information from lifeinsuranceblog.net, it was pretty easy for me to obtain it.
My wife had myxtofibro sarcoma ( sorry if spelling ain’t right ) in her upper thigh on the front side, fortunately she went to the dr early. She had surgery just before Christmas 2017, they removed a large chunk of muscle and tissue to make sure they got it all, then radiation treatment no chemotherapy, as of her last checkup she is cancer free.
It was very hard on the both of us and her family, but we supported each other and loved each other to get thru it and we did.
oh man, that was really rough!
well she died 4-11-2020 now i am alone. it sucks but i am trying. embrasing my fem side now. i sit here typing this in a sundress and a butt plug. hoping to get fucked.
anyone want to buy me breasts i am very willngi hate these fakes
Be strong , for her , with her do all you can to make her comfortable , stay positive no matter what this is very important you both have a rough road and fight ahead ........ Bless you both
new wig
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