Another member, after looking at my profile, asked me to start a thread regarding polyamorous relationships. These are my experiences; They are in no way a recommendation, or advice on how to initiate, or conduct a poly relationship...… this is just my own experience:
I met my GF, here, in 2008. We gravitated to each other, through some things we'd written and posted in the Forum. Somehow, regardless of our vast age differences, she and I quickly became very close.
I had recently been divorced and she also was having a trying time with a husband, who could not, would not, accept that she was bisexual. They had separated a few years before she and I met...they, more-or-less, had gone their own separate ways. But, because they had two children, he remained close to the kids.
She wasn't specifically looking for a female partner, on this site, but someone who understood her desires and could share an interest in mixed-gender experiences.
With her husband's full knowledge, she and I began seeing each other and the sexual energy between us exploded! Before long, we discovered we were the two most-compatible people on this earth and had fallen in love! Our compatibility had proven her theory that a bisexual man would be her best choice of lovers; experiences with straight men had all failed. Her only really rewarding relationship had been with a female she'd had an affair with.
At the time, I hadn't found a guy I was interested in, but she encouraged me to keep looking. She said she might want to join us, or not. She wanted me to leave that decision up to her, if I found a male partner. She enjoyed thinking of the possibilities, employing either another woman, or guy, and we often used that theme in our foreplay.
About that time, I ran into a gay college professor, who I'd met, along with his partner, years before. They'd broken up and he hadn't been with another guy in several years. He seemed OK with my being bi and, since we were both free to do as we wished, I began dating him.
My GF was delighted that I had found a male lover, after over 15 years, but she didn't feel comfortable with my new BF's gayness. He definitely did not want her to join us!
We talked of her finding a female lover, but her life was already complicated by her lack of spare time with a hectic job, a family with health issues and Children. She wasn't out to her children or parents, who she felt shouldn't be made aware of her propensity for female companionship.
So, she seemed to feed off of our relationship, my willingness to share her saprobic dreams with her, and knowing I was involved with the Professor. She demanded a full disclosure of my activities with him, which delighted her and generated a passion in her that I'd rarely experienced! Already very passionate and extremely sexually needy, her ardor became magnified by details of my relationship with the male lover!
Soon, however, the ugly head of Jealousy rose up and my male partner became increasingly agitated at the time I was spending with my GF. I cared about him, but loved her deeply, so he and I had to part ways.
I ventured into another relationship with a gay fellow, who I also met here. I should have known better, because even though he knew I was dedicated to my GF, he attempted to come between us.
She never did feel as good about that relationship and, when he also became jealous and wanted me to leave her, I shut that relationship down, too. I decided I would concentrate on my GF...that was enough for me.
However, she felt that something was missing in my life and urged me to keep looking for a male partner..... but, this time she thought anyone I met should be bisexual.
Remarkably, two years ago, I met and became friends with a medical professional, who revealed his attractions to older men. He's married to a lady, who knows of his desires and allows him to explore, as long as his relationship doesn't affect the family, or his job.
My GF is delighted and he is OK with her, too. Neither of them have indicated they are interested in us all being together, but no one's jealous! Our not sharing is probably a good thing, because at 78, the two of them, together, would probably kill me!
I've been involved in two previous poly relationships; both were with married couples. But I was in my 20s, then, and much better prepared to handle the physical, sexual and emotional energy!
I've discovered that Jealousy is one thing that a polyamorous relationship cannot survive. My first attempt ended because the husband, who initiated my involvement with them, could not handle his wife joining us. He wanted to be the only one with me, which she refused. She felt the need to be involved with us both, so he ended it, when she insisted.
The 2nd one was idyllic. When three people can get along and care about each other, like we did, it can be a blissful, rewarding, connection. That one lasted 13 months, before transfers ended the relationship. I still think that may have been one of my most rewarding relationships, ever!
I've often wondered if we'd hadn't been in the military, if we'd still be together?
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