heavenly poly group just hit a speed bump or 3

[Long Duck Dong]

I am in a poly group, there is myself, a older man and 2 lovely ladies, that has been really good for quite a while.... and now we have hit a speedbump or 3, lol

the bastard about getting old is that guys can get erectile issues and thats exactly what has happened to the older man, . what a real kick in the ass to a person enjoying their sexual freedom.... cancer from the bowel into the rectal area, prostrate, testicles and penis, and only showed up in an xray for a unrelated issue......I will not go into details but the outcome is not good at all

We will just have to work around it, hes not getting out of bed that easily.......

so the decision has been made to invite and include a female friend of mine that I have known for many years, a intersex female that has fully developed, which means them as rare as hell, and she jumped at the opportunity cos she has desired more than a very close friendship with me, for many years... and as odd as it sounds, I was the one that held her off cos she is dammed near the perfect partner in more ways than one... so why hold her off ? its simply cos I have not had a great life and it has left scars on more than just my heart....

well one night in bed with her, me, the older man and one of the ladies, I just could not handle it and had to leave the room, luckily the others understood and had a great night..... I could not handle holding my friend in my arms and seeing her as somebody to have sex with....cos for many years, I have seen much more to her, I have seen a person, a very good friend, a companion, a fighter, a vulnerable person... I was holding somebody I have very strong feelings for..... and I know she feels the same way, we had just never reached the point of acknowledging it....... PS whisky may help open up the mouth but not when too much makes it hard to talk any sense.....

well, I have been sat down and told I need to talk with all of them... so I did and opened right up which for me is rarer than meeting a fully developed intersex female, trust me..... and of all bloody things they all just sat there smiling and nodding away like bobbleheads.... clearly they were not stupid, they knew exactly what was going on inside of me... gee thanks guys....

ever read romance stories where there is miscommunication and finally the hero talks to the heroine, they both realise the misunderstanding, kiss and then have hot, passionate sex ??? its all fiction... I drank too much, slurred my words, made a fool out of my self and ended up with a mother of a hangover, in bed, naked with a very attractive intersex female snuggled into me and a pissed off cat sitting on my chest giving me the evil cat look that says either you feed me or you are in serious trouble, mister.....

just laying there with her in my arms, felt so right, so natural, as if she was always there, always with me, always a part of me and I never wanted to move or let her go... my cat and bladder had other ideas....... and the older man and both of the ladies had the upmost delight in telling me that apparently I sat in the shower for a good while howling like a baby before I was yanked out, dried off, and thrown in the bed like a sack of spuds... and my friend was told to go to bed with me and just cuddle me...... while the older man and the two ladies slept in the other room... well I think they slept.. who knows......

I face losing a lover, and gaining a person that is more than a lover to me, not as a replacement cos you can never replace those that are lost, just find room in your heart for other people along side those that are in the past or no longer here with us....and I am not sure how I feel about it cos nothing feels wrong, it all feels right and in place exactly as it needs to be.... the others in the group understand, and as they said, they do not feel pushed aside cos my feelings towards them has not changed, they reckon cos nothing has really changed... I said the sex will be slightly different... and got that look from 3 females that implied I need to just shut up and one male look that said, dude, do not start digging your grave just yet......

I am no stranger to loss, as people in the site know, having lost my partner duckies darling a few years ago, she was also a member of the site, I lost my sister and her lesbian lover to hiv/aids not long after I joined the site, I lost a gf when I was 16 in a car accident, and now I stand to lose a male partner......life for me, has not been a very nice dealer, I have got some shitty hands dealt to me over the years......

I know that they have plans for me that do not involve sleeping much.... and I am ok with that... it feels natural, it feels right and thats just about 100% perfect for me.....and I am not greedy, maybe in the future, we will add another male that is looking to experiment long term, in a poly group that understands its not all about sex, its about being human as well...... but for now, I am living the dream that many others would love to have.... but fair warning, those speedbumps can be a right bitch.....

[playful808]

Thank you for sharing your story. Sounds like you have a wonderful group. Sorry for your friend’s illness. It is hard to hear that a friend and lover is sick, may die. He is going to need support and kindness. Long ago, I was once part of a slightly larger group where one member got cancer and eventually died. (Cancer is such a thief.) We supported her to the end, especially with touch, and she was so grateful. It broke my heart, broke everyone’s heart. That is what you open yourself up to when you love people. Love a group of people and you open yourself up to more, - and that is a good thing.

Again, thank you.

[KDaddy23]

Relationships of any kind come pre-installed with speed bumps, it seems. Things can be going well and then something changes and readjusting to the changes aren't as easy as they might appear to be. All one can really do is their best to adjust and, if they can, go with the flow; things might start out being awkward but talking about it usually goes a long way to removing the awkwardness.

Sorry to hear about your friend/lover's illness as well - shit happens and especially when we don't want it to.