so the person i was talking to followed up by saying "Bisexual people have not been abused throughout history like gay people have. It's like a Mexican using the N-word. It's just not quite the same, so when we say "gay rights", we mean THOSE people."
I really don't understand what they mean by this. They are not part of the community but say that "they have plenty of gay friends" because they are an actor and have done research so they understand the issue. Which was more than I did going into the conversation, so props to them. They keep saying that they just want me to understand why I am so set on using the word "gay" to describe myself when it is not technically correct and could be offensive to other people. I'm just super lost and I don't really know what to feel anymore. On one hand, I feel like referring to myself as gay is how I identify and bi is how I specify, and that should be okay! But on the other hand, if it is offensive I want to know if I should stop.
They showed me this website:
https://bisexual.org/?qna=doesnt-the...exuals-as-well
"
One of the bisexual community’s greatest challenges is lack of visibility. When people erase bisexuals by leaving them out of the words they use, it is disrespectful and dismissive. When ostensibly LGBT organizations leave out bisexuals in their names or their programming, they often do so thinking that bis are a small fringe group. "
But i don't know! Colloquially, I know lesbians, bi people, and trans people who all call themselves gay as a general term. Maybe it is a pop culture thing, because I also see a lot of people on twitter, instagram, and tumblr, in similar situations using the same language. but that doesn't necessarily mean its okay.
I guess I'm just super affected by this because I am dating the person that started this conversation, and i guess it makes me feel challenged by someone who is supposed to support me. And that's okay! Sometimes we need to be challenged so we can learn and grow, but every time I think about this (the conversation has been going off and on for 3 days now) I start crying because I don't know how to express myself in a way that they will understand and accept. do you have any insight into this or advice on how to deal with this? i've never had someone really challenge the language I use to describe myself, especially because I try to be respectful and aware of what language other people are comfortable with.
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