I'm finding that the more sex I have with men the less I desire sex with women. For me sex with men is much more enjoyable and satisfying. If I had to I could give up having sex with women entirely. Not so for having sex with men. My Kinsey rating has moved from 2 to 3 to 4. I'm wondering whether I'm gay (and if so I'm totally OK with it). Would like to hear from any of you who have had similar experiences. Thanks in advance.
I think that is a question that only you can determine. It is a label and should be used for your own information. I notice that you refer to sex with men as more enjoyable and satisfying. These words seem to be suitable for a physical attraction. You do not discuss your emotional attraction?
I have found that a lot of biguys are more comfortable discussing their physical aspect and claim no emotional aspect to their attraction to men. I have recognized over time that I am both physically and emotionally attracted to both men and women. I have loved both men and women. It is a lot easier to recognize the emotional attraction to women than men due to socialization in our society. The attractions are slightly differently for me.
I can not deny that I have been deeply in love with women. I can not deny that part of me and my past but I am more open to men for a variety of reasons now. When I was younger, I would ask married men who identified as gay if they had loved their wives. They would say that they loved their wives but were not "in love" with their wives. That was not me and I knew that I was not gay.
Bisexual attraction is often a swing factor for many bisexuals. They can go from wanting only one gender and not the other. Later they change as far as their gender preference.
If you feel that your attractions are stronger for men now, enjoy it. You may be that way for the rest of your life or find yourself attracted to women again.
Again, don’t worry about a label. Enjoy yourself.
Last edited by tenni; Dec 10, 2018 at 12:46 PM.
I relate to what you are experiencing. Sex with men is fulfilling whereas sex with a woman has me wishing it was man. My desire to have sex with a woman has dwindled to looking at them and preferring cock. I've accepted the fact that I'm gay.
when I first joined I rated myself a 2 based on my much greater experience with women and my fantasy. I also moved to a 3 and now a 4. Im a little bit younger than you but now divorced for a 2nd time. I have been with 4 women since divorcing last year but my fantasies are primarily homosexual. During sex with women I mainly fantasise about cock to have an orgasm. At this point I could and sometimes do identify as “gay” except my emotional/romantic feelings are still primarily for women and I do enjoy the feel of a woman’s body. So I find “queer” is a useful label. If Inlet myself go and dated men I might fall in love and become exclusively homosexualOriginally Posted by Bisexual Explorer
yes that sounds a bit familiar.
Ask yourself one question, do you see yourself as gay ? cos thats the only opinion that really matters, our opinions are just our opinions......
Your sentences read to me like you have shifted to a mostly gay aspect with a waning desire for women, rather than say that still makes you bisexual, the answer from me is simply how do you see yourself? because its other people that will argue that your sexuality is wrong or you understand your sexuality wrong......
Second most important question: are you happy with the changes in you and you indicate that yes you are very happy and contented....
My answer to that, is that is more important than your sexuality label....
The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands
As far as Sex goes, women are more cautious before engaging in sex....When a woman fees comfortable with you, then she'll have sex with you .....
Men are just driven by their Id, and their want of getting their Penis satisfied.
Last edited by csreef; Dec 10, 2018 at 8:55 PM.
I never had a strong desire for sex with women. At the present time, I have almost no desire to have sex with a woman.
However, there are a few women that do stir my interest in sex with them. But, if I did have sex with them, I am sure I would wish it was a man. So, I am almost totally gay too.
JEM
when I was younger and more sexually active, I truly enjoyed my experiences with women, but at that time, sex with men was still a curiosity, and thus a bit more exciting and enveloped more of my thoughts. I still don’t look at men and immediately see them as sexy beings, nor do I think of what they would look like naked. However, I still see women as beautiful, sexy beings. Sooo, where does that rate me???
a hornbag
Speak for yourself :-P
Some of us guys want to be comfortable and emotionally attached to our lovers :-P
I agree, why the worry . Just enjoy !!!
What is that supposed to mean?a hornbag
Don't label it, just do it, with everyone you wish to that is safe and wishes to with you. The men I know who most would call gay, still say that a woman's body is equally as fun and offers many additional treats. These men friends of mine enjoy sex and sex with male and female. I personally believe threesomes are one of the best ways to no matter the gender or mix of genders. 2 on one has always done us well. We simply take turns on the one getting the most attention.
making a bad joke i guess....
Thank you all (well most of you) for your thoughtful responses to my question about whether I'm gay. For me being gay, if that's what I am, would be more than just a label. It would be the end of a long journey to come to grips with my sexuality. Part of coming to grips with my sexuality is that sex with men allows me to express my softer more feminine side which I have suppressed for much too long.
If only all women had your point of view, life would be so much easier for some of us
I have transitioned from bi-curious, to bisexual and am happy to be comfortable taking to next step to being labeled as gay.
In my opinion..... whatever label you want to put on it, it really doesn't matter. I think the most important thing we should concentrate on is being happy and enjoying what you do. That can go for any aspect of life not just sexual preferences. Life is far too short to not enjoy the ride!
That was really well written!
Well said.
Well said! I have no interest in multiple partners as my only bisexual experiences were with a college roommate I allowed to seduce me. Our relationship/friendship thrived and the sex was always over the top intense! I suspect it was because we genuinely cared for each other on more than a sexual level. We slept together, showered and shaved each other's bodies smooth and did everything two uninhibited curious young males could do. After having that every day the last 6 months of college I could not even consider a plethora of partners who just want to get off and move on to the next chance encounter.
What about us bottoms?...for us it's not about OUR cocks....
The best answer yet! At the end of the day labels are of limited use. What matters far more than words is action. The question to ask is am I bringing myself and my partners joy?..and I don't just mean a fleeting orgasm. Real joy is to had from doing whatever we do with compassion as well as passion.
I think many of us have seen a shift... from curious to bi, from equally bi to leaning gay. For me I'd love to have a fulfilling, intimate sexual relationship with my wife or another woman. But that's not going to happen so it's just easier to find a guy as horny as you.
i know i am a gay bottom i rather have a man do me and i suck him over me doing my wife
Women make having sex with them so damned complicated and to the point where they can make you lose interest in having sex with them and no matter how good they are in bed. Guys, on the other hand, try to make having sex as easy and uncomplicated as they can, therefore, making the sex more enjoyable. Women want to be screwed in certain and specific ways and are very demanding in that aspect but guys are more... simple in that regard. But it's not unusual for a guy to float between, say, 2 and 4 on the Kinsey scale where their desires are concerned; one moment they're more about women than men, the next more about men than women.
Does it indicate gayness? Offhand, I'd say no because being gay is a state of mind and not just a sexual thing but it's also not unusual for a guy to think/feel that he might be gay and more so when he finds himself engaging more with men than women. I'd just got finished fucking my wife and while she napped, I wondered if I was gay since, the day before, I'd had sex with three guys (not at the same time). After a lot of very serious thought, nah, I'm not gay but I don't know a guy who hasn't asked themselves this question.
I believe labels are artificial and unfulfilling. I am a man who enjoys sex with both men and women, and those who feel the same way claim bisexuality. I have never loved a man as I have loved a woman, although I’ve had explosive and fulfilling sexual experiences with men on a similar level as I have had with women. Hence the bisexuality but the mono-amorous nature of my personality.
If you fall on love with a man, just enjoy it and forget about the label!
Yesterday I changed my Kinsey rating to 5. I think of myself in the 4.5 range but my fantasies are primarily about cock and sucking or being sucked. That said I still go down on my girlfriend and sometimes get hard enough to fuck her. I still notice women more and I’m not interested in relationships with men. It’s a bit confusing at times.
I don't label myself anymore. I'm bisexual. I guess that means I'm a little of both. My Kinsey number is roughly 2-3. I'm mostly dominant in straight sex and definitely feminine submissive with an attractive guy. Not complicated.
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