Bisexual but married to a woman, keeping it all together

[Bi-guy rick]

So, I am sure I am surrounded by men just like myself, who are married to a woman, but crave sex with men. I could easily find guys to hook up with through an app for quick NSA sex. However, as we all know, this could easily bring disease into my marriage, blowing the whole thing up. There is the added issue of stepping outside of my marriage for sex, and the morality of that. below is how I navigate these waters, and I am curious what your thoughts are - for those of you like myself:

I am not romantically stepping out of my marriage. I want my marriage to remain intact. I am however trying to experience a sexual need that my wife cannot meet. She would not understand the me that sucks cock, eats cum, bends over and begs to be fucked by a man. Even if she did she could not meet those needs.

Next, because I care about who I have sex with, that limits my already limited pool of candidates. I am always looking for that elusive FWB. Even when I think I have met someone who fits the bill, often they disappear, many times before we ever actually have sex.

I try to accommodate my cravings with cam to cam sex, or phone sex, but hooking up with someone else on Skype (or other) is almost as rare as sucking g an actual cock.

So, how do you manage? Has anyone (be honest) really found an ongoing sexual relationship with another guy?

[Bidirectional4u]

Well, I guess I'm lucky, wife and I are bi, she is quite happy with it and we've found a bi guy or two in the past to have a ongoing threesome with. One was such a good fit that he would come over often and fuck my wife silly, I'd get home to a pussy full of his cum. However as with all good things it's pretty much come to an end with him. He got back with his ex-wife and we've not seen him in awhile. We are actively looking for a nice clean fairly local guy that would fit with our life for a ongoing threesome.

[Bi-guy rick]

Well, I guess I'm lucky, wife and I are bi, she is quite happy with it and we've found a bi guy or two in the past to have a ongoing threesome with. One was such a good fit that he would come over often and fuck my wife silly, I'd get home to a pussy full of his cum. However as with all good things it's pretty much come to an end with him. He got back with his ex-wife and we've not seen him in awhile. We are actively looking for a nice clean fairly local guy that would fit with our life for a ongoing threesome.

While I have fantasized a MMF threesome many times over the years, I can't help but think I'd want some one on one time with just the guy occasionally.

[Bidirectional4u]

My wife is happy to sit back and watch, it gets her off watching me and another guy together.

[SilkyHoseLover]

I live within the general parameters that you've laid out, with one exception. My wife does understand my desires, and allows me to seek out intimacy with other males. I usually tell her when I'm going to play. Sometimes, if she has a long shopping trip planned, I'll try to line something up while she's away. I don't want to abuse the privilege by enjoying my liaisons too frequently.

I've generally had the same poor luck trying to find a 'regular'. Most of the promising candidates talk a good game, at least until it's time to meet, then they disappear or don't show up for the meeting.

I've had two guys that I've been able to play with more than once, and could actually probably count on either one to get together more frequently. One in particular is a very nice guy, and we share a lot of interests outside the bedroom as well as in. The first time we got together, it was 5% sex and 95% talk. We got along great. I was there for several hours.

The only problem is, he's a nudist and wants me out of my clothes the minute I hit the door. I'm into wearing my silky things, and I like to be touched and lovingly undressed instead of just ripping everything off as fast as possible. And he doesn't kiss, isn't into anything anal-- which is ok -- but he doesn't caress or fondle, either. He just wants to grab and suck my cock and get me to cum as quickly as possible. That feels ok, and I get to suck him off, too, but it's not exactly what I'm craving.

The other guy is closer to what I'm interested in. He's a 'garter guy' a sort-of crossdresser. He likes to wear heels and jewelry, and a garter -- not a garter belt -- an elastic garter. Usually no stockings. And he's trimmed all over, not shaved anywhere except around his very small cock. Basically a guy in panties and, sometimes, a bra. He can't get away with shaving because of being married. But he kisses, and feels my soft little titties, sucks my nipples and even puts a condom on that tiny dick and fucks me. It's not my dream scenario, but he is a very nice guy and he does the best with what he has to work with.

Bottom line, they -- we -- are out there. Real decent people who take the time to get to know you, and who really want to play.

[Bi-guy rick]

I live within the general parameters that you've laid out, with one exception. My wife does understand my desires, and allows me to seek out intimacy with other males. I usually tell her when I'm going to play. Sometimes, if she has a long shopping trip planned, I'll try to line something up while she's away. I don't want to abuse the privilege by enjoying my liaisons too frequently.

I've generally had the same poor luck trying to find a 'regular'. Most of the promising candidates talk a good game, at least until it's time to meet, then they disappear or don't show up for the meeting.

I've had two guys that I've been able to play with more than once, and could actually probably count on either one to get together more frequently. One in particular is a very nice guy, and we share a lot of interests outside the bedroom as well as in. The first time we got together, it was 5% sex and 95% talk. We got along great. I was there for several hours.

The only problem is, he's a nudist and wants me out of my clothes the minute I hit the door. I'm into wearing my silky things, and I like to be touched and lovingly undressed instead of just ripping everything off as fast as possible. And he doesn't kiss, isn't into anything anal-- which is ok -- but he doesn't caress or fondle, either. He just wants to grab and suck my cock and get me to cum as quickly as possible. That feels ok, and I get to suck him off, too, but it's not exactly what I'm craving.

The other guy is closer to what I'm interested in. He's a 'garter guy' a sort-of crossdresser. He likes to wear heels and jewelry, and a garter -- not a garter belt -- an elastic garter. Usually no stockings. And he's trimmed all over, not shaved anywhere except around his very small cock. Basically a guy in panties and, sometimes, a bra. He can't get away with shaving because of being married. But he kisses, and feels my soft little titties, sucks my nipples and even puts a condom on that tiny dick and fucks me. It;s not my dream scenario, but he is a very nice guy and he does the best with what he has to work with.

Bottom line, they -- we -- are out there. Real decent people who take the time to get to know you, and who really want to play.

Yes, I did not list the guys I have been with that were not a match. I wish I could find my double in almost every way. See, I could have fun playing your way for a while if we could mix it up and try some other stuff, but even that in the end you'd probably want to wear your silky things more often than I would want that… although I do kiss and fuck so we're good there

[Neonaught]

Well, I guess I'm lucky, wife and I are bi, she is quite happy with it and we've found a bi guy or two in the past to have a ongoing threesome with. One was such a good fit that he would come over often and fuck my wife silly, I'd get home to a pussy full of his cum. However as with all good things it's pretty much come to an end with him. He got back with his ex-wife and we've not seen him in awhile. We are actively looking for a nice clean fairly local guy that would fit with our life for a ongoing threesome.

I am in the same kind of marriage (both bi) and, while I most often see men solo, my wife never plays with guys without me present for personal safety reasons. She has had one on one with one of our bi lady friends though.

[eager4cum]

My wife is happy to sit back and watch, it gets her off watching me and another guy together.

your are so lucky, wish I lived near by

[dowmass]

I have gone around the world 5 times, and yet I don't have an answer. I live in Dallas TX, and when Craigslist was around whenever I posted, i would get 20-25 replies, and judging by the language, their life stage, and where they lived, I must say I had at least 5-6 good replies. Funny as it seems, one doesn't realize the worth when something is around. For reasons I am still searching, I hooked up only with one person.

With CL gone, I tried Double list, Squirt and Adam4Adam. I don't judge easily, but I'll make an exception here. I have had nothing but the usual crowd - the ones that are drug addicts, flakes, those who are suddenly "allergic to latex" and so cannot wear a condom etc.

So, I am sure I am surrounded by men just like myself, who are married to a woman, but crave sex with men. I could easily find guys to hook up with through an app for quick NSA sex. However, as we all know, this could easily bring disease into my marriage, blowing the whole thing up. There is the added issue of stepping outside of my marriage for sex, and the morality of that. below is how I navigate these waters, and I am curious what your thoughts are - for those of you like myself:

I am not romantically stepping out of my marriage. I want my marriage to remain intact. I am however trying to experience a sexual need that my wife cannot meet. She would not understand the me that sucks cock, eats cum, bends over and begs to be fucked by a man. Even if she did she could not meet those needs.

Next, because I care about who I have sex with, that limits my already limited pool of candidates. I am always looking for that elusive FWB. Even when I think I have met someone who fits the bill, often they disappear, many times before we ever actually have sex.

I try to accommodate my cravings with cam to cam sex, or phone sex, but hooking up with someone else on Skype (or other) is almost as rare as sucking g an actual cock.

So, how do you manage? Has anyone (be honest) really found an ongoing sexual relationship with another guy?

[Joboo]

I know I’m somewhat bi but once I met my wife I never had any desire to suck cock. Then at 45 I was in LA at a meeting and met a guy who just sent me signals the entire day, getting a little to close and always looking me in the eye. Then when we went on a plant tour it was very loud and you had to speak into someone’s ear in order to be heard. He kept touching his lips ever so slightly to my ear as he showed me around and finally he he stepped close as we were behind a piece of equipment that blocked us from the waist down. My right arm hanging to my side he stepped close to speak into my ear and pressed his stiffening cock against the backside of my hand. He stayed close in that position and continued to speak in my ear and I in his. I began to get hard and simply turned my hand to feel his hard dick. We stayed in that position a good 2-3 minutes and when he suggested we return to the conference room we both removed our jackets to hide or hard dicks.
After some feeling up under the table watching some corporate mumbo jumbo his size was evident. We were to go to dinner that night but he called my hotel room explaining his wife’s work predicament and telling me he had to stay home with their child. That night he called back later and I had my first phone sex experience. I flew out the next morning. After being home a few days the desire passed again until I saw him about a year later. Blonde and slim and lanky with a 7.5 inch fat cock. That’s what he told me about when he got me off on the phone.

[playful808]

> So, how do you manage? Has anyone (be honest) really found an ongoing sexual relationship with another guy?

We play with a few friends, bi males and bi couples.
Sometimes alone, usually together.
We have never been monogamous.
My orientation has never been a secret.

We are particular as hell.
Our regular partner is a gorgeous bi guy.
Other guys only once in a while.
A few guys we only see once a year.

[Cum1st]

I worked at home and had a scheduled once a week get together on one of the "T" days. I don't remember which one. He would be telecommuting and took calls once in a while, but never had a call when we were naked. It ended after a year when he got transferred out of state. It was great while it lasted.

My wife was at work and might have suspected/known. She met him, and knew he was there sometimes as a customer. I don't think she knew he wasn't a paying customer for the most part. She liked his '57 T'bird.

[dowmass]

I am married, and I am "secretly bi.
As for your question: So, how do you manage? Has anyone (be honest) really found an ongoing sexual relationship with another guy?, i'll try to answer as deftly as possible!

I am sure there are thousands, if not millions of men who are bi and married - that cannot talk about it with their spouses. The reasons could be a zillion - cultural, when the Mrs. considers it "unnatural" (like mine could - though I never broached that subject with her. Then there are women who would consider sex between men to be "gross" or "dirty".

As I said earlier on a different post, there are two choices if the man wants to stay married - keep it a "secret" or else stop "bisexual" thoughts, and channelize such energies to other things like travel, reading books and other distractions like painting, public speaking.

I remember there was this dude who would respond to my posts on CL with - No you are not Gay, it is the devil which is asking you do the wrong thing. Trust in the Lord and Jesus will deliver you from committing a sin. I hated this because first off, one doesn't have to bring religion into this, then this crap about "being saved from committing a sin" because I otherwise will go to hell..... that to me is a load of garbage.

Anyways sorry for distracting you from the real subject. I just got carried away - sorry about that!

Coming back to track - have I found an ongoing relationship? Well - to find a one time encounter itself is difficult - I am reasonable about what to expect. Someone that is DDF, clean, and really keen to meet. Haven't found one yet - except for 2 encounters in 7 years, that happened by what I consider "Chance".

So, I am sure I am surrounded by men just like myself, who are married to a woman, but crave sex with men. I could easily find guys to hook up with through an app for quick NSA sex. However, as we all know, this could easily bring disease into my marriage, blowing the whole thing up. There is the added issue of stepping outside of my marriage for sex, and the morality of that. below is how I navigate these waters, and I am curious what your thoughts are - for those of you like myself:

I am not romantically stepping out of my marriage. I want my marriage to remain intact. I am however trying to experience a sexual need that my wife cannot meet. She would not understand the me that sucks cock, eats cum, bends over and begs to be fucked by a man. Even if she did she could not meet those needs.

Next, because I care about who I have sex with, that limits my already limited pool of candidates. I am always looking for that elusive FWB. Even when I think I have met someone who fits the bill, often they disappear, many times before we ever actually have sex.

I try to accommodate my cravings with cam to cam sex, or phone sex, but hooking up with someone else on Skype (or other) is almost as rare as sucking g an actual cock.

So, how do you manage? Has anyone (be honest) really found an ongoing sexual relationship with another guy?

[Mmpmm]

I certainly go through the same challenge. I have not figured out a good answer but I have tried to suppress the desire to act on my fantasies and as I get older I find it more difficult to suppress my desires. But I am very picky and if anything feels odd, or I am not attracted to you, or I am not comfor table I just up and walk out the door. Cuss me all you want if I'm not comfortable when we meet or when we get intimate then I'm gone I don't care how sexy our chats were.

[MAcpl69]

> So, how do you manage? Has anyone (be honest) really found an ongoing sexual relationship with another guy?

We play with a few friends, bi males and bi couples.
Sometimes alone, usually together.
We have never been monogamous.
My orientation has never been a secret.

We are particular as hell.
Our regular partner is a gorgeous bi guy.
Other guys only once in a while.
A few guys we only see once a year.

If my wife ever agrees to open things up, and we come to Hawaii I would love to meet up with the two of you.

[Mr&MrsC]

So I’m the wife, I’m a sex/porn addict. My intuition told me my husband was bi. He doesn’t open up too much when it comes to his sexuality so of course I poked and prodded until I eventually got it out of him. That same night ordered me a strap on. The next day reality hit and I was like omg my husband is gay!!!! After doing some research I realized that okay, this is kind of normal. That night I gave him a rim job and fingered his ass.....������ holy F!!!! When he came without him nor I touching his dick, I was sold!! The strap on came and I got all dolled up and gave him the best fucking he’d ever had. I was on cloud nine!! However, the more we did it the more I thought about wanting to watch him and another man flip flop fuck each other �� We are very much in love and he doesn’t want another man to touch me and of course I don’t want another woman to touch him. I’m openly bi and have had numerous threesomes. He hasn’t. So I know the awkwardness of wanting to only be with the girl but there’s someone else there to entertain too �� plus it fucking turns me on to visualize my man going at it with another man, I know how much he wants it too so of course why would I want to interfere with his fantasy...Soon I hope to find another bi couple that we can same sex swing with so I can get my sexual desires fulfilled while he does too without having that weirdness of a third wheel. Moral of the story casually bring it up to your wife by asking her about her fantasies, give her a rim job when you go down on her and ask her to return the favor.

[KDaddy23]

Being bi, married, and not free to act is about as bad as things can get. You want to play with a dick but you don't want to step outside of the marriage in any way but, without permission or stepping to the side even with a FWB, you're truly fucked and not in a good way. So how do you manage? The best way you can. You can do other things - watch porn and masturbate until you start developing callouses on your hands and, at best, that just takes the edge off and even having mad crazy sex with your woman might not really take care of your need for a nice, hard dick.

No worse feeling in the world. Do you remain faithful and faced with dealing with being frustrated... or do you do something about it? See, this is the part where I tend to backpedal a bit; on the one hand, I say do what you gotta do but on the other, nah, don't fuck with the things you firmly believe in and, yes, I know - this doesn't help one bit, sorry to say.

You could - and as Mrs. C has said - try to talk to her about getting a strap-on and pegging you... but women are funny about that and just asking for this can open a restaurant-sized can of worms. You could, perhaps, get her to finger your butt - but again, some women are funny about that and you're gonna have to offer an explanation of why you want her to do this to you while not giving away that you're bi and in need of a dick. You could get your own toys - and as a lot of guys do - and "practice" your cock sucking and probing your prostate... but how do you do this without wifey finding out? And if she does find out, you've got some explaining to do.

There is no sure and guaranteed way to go about this; you're either gonna remain silent or you're gonna have to stop pleading the 5th and talk to her about what you need.

[FredGillard]

My wife is happy to sit back and watch, it gets her off watching me and another guy together.

One of my all time fantasies, especially if he played with herself, in nothing but black tights...

[Tr414]

I have a husband and a girlfriend. It works for us. Everyone gets along, because everything is out in the open. I would always suggest as much honesty and transparency as possible in these situations, just so that all involved have the ability to make informed decisions.

[FredGillard]

One of my all time fantasies, especially if he played with herself, in nothing but black tights...

I meant if SHE played with herself...