In need of some serious advice...

[lancer525]

It will be a cold day in hell before I'll ever pay to attend any kind of party.

I refuse to be tarred with the same brush as any asshole who showed his true colors, when I have done nothing to deserve it, nor have ever acted in a manner to earn it. If I'm going to be pre-judged like that, then all it tells me is that there goes a group of people with whom I wish to have nothing to do. I don't share my precious time with people who pre-judge based on the behavior of others. I don't care who they are. Or who they think they are. It's my time. I have far more self-respect than to go around waving money and begging to be allowed in to some sex party. It isn't going to happen. Ever.

I choose where I spend my time, and with whom. If they want to throw parties where there is an elitist in-crowd already decided upon, they're more than welcome to do so. They will be doing it without me. I'm not that shallow, or that needy.

It's that simple.

[bityme]

And furthermore, exactly where do you get off denigrating my "experience in the lifestyle"? We played together for years, and not once were we ever invited to any event where anyone got charged. Not once.

I did not denigrate disparage, belittle, denigrate) your experience. I indicated that I would infer that your attitude was sue to inexperience. If you have not experienced something then there is an area in which you are inexperienced. All of us are subject to that fact. If you have never been invited to an event for which you were asked to pay or make a donation, then you lack experience in that regard. Ever been asked to bring a present to a birthday party, a bottle of wine to a dinner party? Ever pay for a ticket to a sporting event. I'm guessing you have. There are also entertainment venues that are clothing optional or nude (some allow sexual contact, some do not) for which people expect to pay.

If you take the time to reread my post, you should see that I was merely giving you some information that you might not be aware of. Information that I felt might be important to someone considering going to this type of party.

Who do you think you are that you dare label me as arrogant, self-centered, and childish? Who died and left you arbiter of propriety? You may take a flying leap at a rolling doughnut and kiss my rosy red asshole.

Again, please reread my post. I did not give you any labels. I told you what others might think based on your writing. You will notice that I made no judgment. None of my comments were derogatory in any way. They were meant to give yourself, and others, an opportunity to freely discuss this aspect of the lifestyle that may be important to them or for which they have curiosity.

I am certainly not the arbiter of propriety. Although, I do feel wee should show respect to others, particularly in having their own opinions. I won't respond to the doughnut comment, since to do so would throw unneeded emotions into the mix and detract from a open discussion of the issue. Making something personal is not my style.

[querty]

Lancer. Stereotypes are never fair. But like it or not, as a single male, that is what you will need to overcome. How you explore this side of the lifestyle is your choice of course. But it you react to genuinely well intended feedback with this type of angry response, you will have a much more difficult time of it. Hopefully you did not respond to the hosts of the party this same way, because if you did, not only did you drop right into the stereotype, but you'll not soon be invited back to their, or their friend's, events.

[jem_is_bi]

You receive a lot of good advice sincerely aimed at helping you.
You need to seriously consider it and incorporate what you feel comfortable with such that you can better achieve your goals.
Even the small amount of criticism that was given, can be a valuable basis for introspective analysis.
Everyone telling you are wonderful and always right provides you with no useful advice.
I prefer knowing what others believe is wrong with me than what is right.
I do not always act on their opinions, but am grateful for them taking the time to let me know what they feel need to change.

[Realist]

Wow, Lancer! I did not see that coming!

Your response to Bity's excellent advice was so vehement that I couldn't believe it! I thought everyone's input was spot-on and you even commented, earlier, that several suggestions were thoughtful and viable.

I was shocked and taken aback at how you turned on Bity-me! I agree with Querty and Jem, your response to Bity was reactionary and unfounded.

I've also gotten advice and shared different subjects with some of these folks, for years, and never once have I seen anything from them that deserved that sort of reaction. (Well, there is Pole Smoker, who has been on my Ignore list, forever)

If you re-read the comments, surely you will see no reason for your diatribe......I assure you, there was no effort to criticize, or condemn you.

Just saying, take it easy, man, no sense in generating problems where there are none!