A cornerstone, an anchor, a rock to cling to..

**DuckiesDarling** · Apr 4, 2011, 1:39 AM

For Miranda Lambert's song it was a house, but for the rest of us, what do you use to find yourself when everything becomes too much?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQYNM6SjD_o

Lyrics below for those that can't watch the video.

I know they say you can’t go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma’am I know you don’t know me from Adam
But these handprints on the front steps are mine

Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could walk around I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

**Darkside2009** · Apr 4, 2011, 7:11 PM

For me it can be various things, a walk on the beach or the park, anywhere there is wildlife to watch.

Watching a favourite film, reading poetry or a good book.

Visiting friends, even having an early night in bed. Sometimes a good night's sleep gives a new perspective to a problem.

I have found as I get older I don't worry so much about trivial things, if there is a problem and I can fix it, then I do so. If I can't, then there really is no point in worrying about it.

I like this piece below, although I'm sure someone made a corny song of it back in the 60's or 70's.

Desiderata:-

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees or the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann.

**Realist** · Apr 4, 2011, 7:58 PM

I'm so lucky, nothing's ever been too much for me. In my youth, I thought I was in dire straights, a few times...but, really I wasn't. Like Darkside remarked, the older I get the less things bug me. Things that used to be a serious concern, seem trivial to me, now.

I've never been a religious person...actually never understood it.....so I didn't have a belief to support me in rough times. I relied on observations of successful people. I'd see someone older, who had dealt with some struggles, and saw how they dealt with problems, hard times, sadness, depression, failures, etc, etc. I just followed their examples.

Three failed marriages didn't help my self esteem, much. Failure's not a good thing. But if I hadn't failed, I wouldn't be where I am today...which is in a happy place in my life.

Maybe I'm too stupid to know when I'm not doing so well, or unable to realize how poorly I was doing at the time...so there's probably been a few times when I should have been more distressed than I was! Anyway, I made it, so far.

I'm in the twilight of my life, now. But I'm at peace with myself and the world, so I guess I made it to this place without having to deal with too much!

Like I said, I'm lucky.

**DuckiesDarling** · Apr 4, 2011, 10:46 PM

I'd have to say for me it's reading. I have often lost myself in an author's world when my world was just too much. Going to where all I have to do is drift helps me get settled and ready to face the next day.

**Cherokee_Mountaincat** · Apr 5, 2011, 8:00 PM

For me, its music and writing. When life makes me feel like I want to burst, I emerce myself in my music and start writing. I just get so enthralled in the music that I let it take away all tensions and strife, and the words will flow on a page like water. Sometimes I'll do several stories, and after a while, I feel alot better. Of course some of my characters will take a beating, but that's ok too..lol

If its beautiful weather, I try to get to where I am in Mother Nature's house. There I can breathe deep--enjoy being back in nature again and let the cares just melt away. I can go down by the river here to a small secluded place to be by myself for a bit to think, to feed my ducks, geese and other wild birds and creatures. (2 years ago we released 30 abused ducks and geese into the River at the park here with permission of the Wildlife Comission. They had been kept in a 10x20 wire cage all of their lives just for the eggs and meat.

I just sit there and feed my babies, and watch the river for a while. I listen to the sounds of nature, and feel the quiet of the trees and plants, listen to the sound of the river herself, and finally the sounds of kids playing at the playground nearby. Sometimes the solitude is all I need to put the pieces of what little brain I have back together, and I feel better again.
Some folks would say thats the Indian in me, but I dont care..lol We all do whats best for us in the end.

Muah, Loves.
Yer weird Cat

**void()** · Apr 5, 2011, 9:03 PM

Really have trouble in having something for when it is too much. Maybe it comes from having 'too much' for most of the time. Some of us are probably doomed to such.

Had a good buddy, our little mountain feist dog. But he ran off this morning when I was getting the other critters fed, ready to go to work. Not the first he's wandered, but he's not returned yet. The other two dogs are larger and more of the outdoors type you keep tied out. They're mutt hounds and we care for them pretty good. Nonetheless, they're outside dogs.

Oddly enough, my supervisor appeared half decent toward me today. That was a real shock. I had expected to be in deep water over something done on Monday.

I get bored really quickly and easily. Once I can get a sense of how to do something, it is honed to 'machine work'. I go on autopilot where it is 'just going through motions'. Wind up feeling hollow.

But therapists assure me that is natural and I'm not alone. That is supposed to help? It doesn't. To me it says, "sorry bud, nobody has figured it out yet so we all just suffer along until somebody does. Come on, kick the dead horse." Same in, same out. But not able to find different.

Used to surf the internet / web. That has gotten blah, now. Maybe our next load of Netflix movies ... um, doubt it. Hate feeling this all the time. It's like I want to explode, do something, but there's nothing to do. Even if there were, nothing affordable / 'practical'. Screw moderation.

I am unable to turn to religion. Sadly, can't merely 'believe' any more.

**lizard-lix** · Apr 7, 2011, 11:52 AM

Thanks for that song DD! It is one of my, and my wife's, favorites!

When I need to get away and let it all go, nothing beats the water.. Even sitting by a pool or stream witl work, but sailing on the open ocean, out of sight of land, is the best.

Barring that, music is second best, just getting lost in it (it can be a quiet song like this one, or good old rock, or even intricate Metal).

Reading a good Dungeons and Dragons fantasy is the easiest to do and my quickest fall back safety valve.

(and sorry, after a long nasty day, a bourbon and a bong still works :-)

I find that if I eat right, sleep right, exercise, do yoga and meditate; I pretty much never find myself at the end of my rope, but maybe that is because if I spend that much time taking care of myself, there is no time left to get stressed out, but then my boss is stressed because I am not working overtime :-)

Oh, and like others, religion has never been a solace of any sort, I guess I was born without a religious faith gene...

Your point of centering may vary

Liz

**elian** · May 5, 2011, 10:45 PM

**elian** · May 7, 2011, 8:20 AM

Originally Posted by void_dweller

Really have trouble in having something for when it is too much. Maybe it comes from having 'too much' for most of the time. Some of us are probably doomed to such.

Had a good buddy, our little mountain feist dog. But he ran off this morning when I was getting the other critters fed, ready to go to work. Not the first he's wandered, but he's not returned yet. The other two dogs are larger and more of the outdoors type you keep tied out. They're mutt hounds and we care for them pretty good. Nonetheless, they're outside dogs.

Oddly enough, my supervisor appeared half decent toward me today. That was a real shock. I had expected to be in deep water over something done on Monday.

I get bored really quickly and easily. Once I can get a sense of how to do something, it is honed to 'machine work'. I go on autopilot where it is 'just going through motions'. Wind up feeling hollow.

But therapists assure me that is natural and I'm not alone. That is supposed to help? It doesn't. To me it says, "sorry bud, nobody has figured it out yet so we all just suffer along until somebody does. Come on, kick the dead horse." Same in, same out. But not able to find different.

Used to surf the internet / web. That has gotten blah, now. Maybe our next load of Netflix movies ... um, doubt it. Hate feeling this all the time. It's like I want to explode, do something, but there's nothing to do. Even if there were, nothing affordable / 'practical'. Screw moderation.

I am unable to turn to religion. Sadly, can't merely 'believe' any more.

I hope that you are able to find a better place and situation soon honey.

Surfing the internet is hollow?! Say it isn't so <smiles> As someone who has been perpetually on the computer and into electronic gadgets since I was 9 (?!) years old I think I can say with some authority that people looking to genuinely fill up their spirit with media or "things" will find it somewhat lacking. All of the "things" of this world are just catalysts, symbols for other ideas that exist on a much higher level. You can either feed your spirit junk food, or try to find something better - not always an easy task since by default we are built with insatiable appetites.

I'd like to think of myself as a spiritual person who is inspired by a force greater than myself - that part helps to check the ego (sometimes). It isn't so much that I believe in any particular religious creed or dogma as man has made them but that my being here and existing after all these years seems like a miracle anyway. The truly beautiful things in the universe can be much quieter and more subtle than the (insert media device here) that is constantly barking for attention. The noise is so loud that it drowns out true beauty and thoughtful contemplation.

At the bare level when we consider how many challenges each and every one of us has to face, just getting up in the morning can be an accomplishment.

I once heard a spiritual teacher say that in the time before we are born, a much more idealized version of ourselves gets to participate in choosing some of the challenges we will face in this lifetime. If time didn't mean anything to you, you could see how the world worked, could see what the world really needed, what YOUR soul needed, and how you can contribute - what challenges would YOU choose?

Sometimes people look to make big splashy changes but I like what Desmond Tutu says - that you don't have to be looking to make a huge impact, that even a small change can have a ripple effect.

Not to say that everyone "deserves what they get", undoubtedly life still seems unfair, but if I consider that at some level, at one time people who loved me had my best interest at heart than it makes it easier to shoulder the burden when strange problems seem to just fall out of the sky and say "deal with me". Even more so when I realize there are friends and family who care about me as a person.

A person who lives in a vacuum might think, "Why should they care when everyone has these problems to deal with?" I guess with experience comes wisdom, those people who know what it feels like to be alone and to lose someone might decide that walking through an open door and saying hello is more important than slamming the door closed to feel safe.

Being able to physically abuse someone, throw your weight around to get what you want - that is the easy way, and it may work for a while; however living in fear, exerting control over others through intimidation is no way to truly live life. I believe that true power in this world comes from being able to exercise discipline and compassion.

Being able to come together in loving community is truly a blessing. I don't know how far away my view is from reality but it's a nice way to think anyway - even if I am lying to myself..

**elian** · Jun 24, 2011, 11:08 PM

Mother Theresa's Poem

Anyway

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6j4ntLTp3fQ

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them, anyway.

**elian** · Jun 25, 2011, 1:17 PM

"In this world we cannot do great things, we can only do small things with great love" - Mother Theresa

**mikey3000** · Jun 26, 2011, 12:11 AM

For me, I run to water, to the lake shore. When we learned that my wife had cancer, I tried to hold it all in, then exploded at work. I just hopped in the car and drove. I ended up at the lake shore and I cried all afternoon. Then I remembered that when I was little and went to visit my dad in the hospital, I always sat staring out the window, looking at the lake. I think that much water makes my tears seem so small, thus my troubles too. I take great comfort by the lake.

**Doggie_Wood** · Jun 26, 2011, 2:24 PM

With revelation to the title of this post;

On June 25th, 2011 - shortly after 2:00PM in Colorado

A cornerstone was set . . . .

an anchor to endure in the lives of two . . . .

a Rock to cling to till the end of time for Marie (and visa-versa)

Best of Luck and Love to Rock and Marie

Doggie

**void()** · Jun 26, 2011, 7:21 PM

Gestalt Prayer

"I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped."

**elian** · Jun 26, 2011, 7:36 PM

Glad to hear about Rock and Marie - congratulations!

Also..

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." - Bernard Meltzer