Energy and attitude

so for the past few months in my service of sexual frustrated married men I have been kinda I awe of the guy?s that I have had the pleasure of being with.. it humbled me to think that all these guy?s have turned to me to try and overcome the stress and strain of marriage.. now I know that there are many many reasons why things get tough.. I also know that the wife is not always the total problem.. but I also know just not having sex is not the answer either.. things should always be considered and talked about and both should be willing to do what it takes to figure it out.. but we all know that don?t happen very often.. I have wondered why all these guys have come to me and allowed me to be in their lives and them be in me?? So I ask a few after they had visited a few times.. why do you come to me?? Other than it is taboo and you get your rocks off why??
The answers I got humbled me.. so I started asking more why.. I even made up a small questionnaire and had my guys fill them out.. there were some real bullshit answers but then there was an amazing amount that pretty much said the same thing.. that was that coming to me they felt that I cared about them more than just sex.. that I always seemed to be happy and eager to see them and to be naked with them and to have sex with them.. that I always made them feel like they mattered..
odd enough that is and has been my biggest goal in all this is to really just make them feel wanted!!! Ya see I have watched and listened to these guys over the years and got the idea from listening that the one thing that happened in their marriage is that they both kinda quite wanting each other.. and just feeling wanted is a big deal.. showing them that they are wanted is really no big deal but they sure like it..
just smile and act like you are glad to see them.. tell them you are glad they are there.. touch them and look them in the eye with a smile on your face goes a long way.. thank them for being there.. tell them you are glad to see them and you are excited to enjoy time with them.. ask how their day has been.. ask them how, what you can do for them to make their visit the best part of their day.. be eager to do what they want.. enjoy the time with them.. allow them to feel that they matter..
I know this sounds like marriage counseling.. and I really think that in a lot of ways it is because I have found that a lot of marriages have fixed themselves just by giving it a chance to reset because one or both figured out that sex is fun and was able to relax and enjoy it and find some relaxation.. finding and rekindling the passion they once had because someone just took the time and energy to enjoy being with them.. people sex is fun!! Enjoy it!! Bring enjoyment to the table.. then see how much sex can be enjoyed!! I challenge each of you to slow down and really enjoy being sexual with someone every month.. just once a month.. really enjoy being sexual with one person.. see how it affects them and you!!

Great insight here. As the husband in a bi couple, most of my regulars are closeted bi men whose wives cut off all sex and affection so they see me and sometimes, my wife and I, to get what's missing in their lives. That is a deep-seated human need as you pointed out. I've often asked why they stay in such marriages and most have replied that they love their families too much to leave I can understand that so I am happy to have mutually joyful sex with them. I've told many of them that I call our time together "stolen joy" and I think that fits the situation perfectly: they get the sex and affection they need and I have fun and satisfaction that I am making their home life more bearable.