Coming out to your doctor?

Are you out to your doctor?
I am considering coming out to my primary care physician but I hesitate for many reasons and here are some of them.
1) If I'm out to my primary care physician am I then out to any specialist I am referred to? Because it's in my chart.
2) am I then out to any Life of Medical insurance company. Am I now a higher risk patient/customer?
3) in the event something happens to me my wife has my authority for my medical care/treatment. Could she then find out from my medical records?

I'm sure some of you have the answers and some of you think you have the answers and some of you might have additional questions. Of course the other option to coming out to my doctor is to go to the free clinic anonymously for tests etc.

What are your thoughts/opinions? I know you have them.

No one can say for certain. But your doc needs to know.

I came out to my primary. I told her I was not public with it or out to my wife and asked her not to put anything in my chart or order any tests for STD that would indicate this. You can certainly tell the primary and ask advice, then do your STD tests anonymously on the side so it doesn't get in your records.

It was actually an erotic experience to stand in front of a woman and admit to performing oral on men. I also told her I didn't do anal as that is an important health difference. Her face showed a bit surprised by my revelation but she maintained her professional composure the whole time. Just make sure you do it as neutral and matter of fact way as you can. Ask the physician not to make any note of it and I believe they will honor that.

As a medical professional I can tell you that any GOOD doctor approaches the patient from a purely clinical viewpoint so they really don't care how you run your sex life. I would not hesitate to tell my doctor if I thought they needed to know. Not every word you speak to a doctor goes into your medical record and certainly not to an insurance company.

As far a your spouse getting ahold of your medical record, as long s you are still living I can't see that happening even if she had a medical power of attorney to authorize treatment. If you are dead and she should somehow, for some reason request your medical records and see your sexuality noted there why would you care? You're dead and beyond suffering any embarrassment.

Bottom line: if you think your clinician needs to know to administer proper care and treatment then by all means tell them! There's an old medical axiom that goes "If you don't check their temperature you can't find their fever.". If you do not get tested how can you know you don't have an STD that puts others at risk?

Home test kits are available for many of the STD's so that is an option. I take an Oralquik home HIV test every three months since I like to eat cum and go bare. A kit cost about $50US and the test takes only 20 minutes.

My doctor knows, it is not in my chart, specialists and my life insurance company do not know.

But, lets be real, the monkeypox thing, it's a good idea for him too know

My doctor knows and it's probably in my records and I'm good with that. Pretty sure my insurance company doesn't know and even if they did, I don't much care and I've not seen any "monkey business" with premiums, and my wife knows my sexual history so no worries there. Honestly, I'd prefer to let my doctor know rather than to wind up being jacked up because I didn't tell him and more so when COVID is still having a field day with folks with impaired immune systems.

My previous PCP retired a couple of years ago. Her being my PCP predated any interest in same sex activities and desires, and she was a doctor who my nurse wife had worked with over years, and who had delivered our granddaughter. I wasn't desperate to keep my newfound interests from her, or afraid that she would be anything other than professional, but I didn't raise the issue with her.

When I had to find a new PCP, I chose one who had previously been my uncle's doctor. Since my uncle was gay, and this doctor had prescribed ED medication for him, I kinda guessed that he was knowledgeable of my uncle's homosexuality and accepted the reality in a professional manner.

I filled out a lot of PDF forms listing medical history, etc. And listed being bisexual, checking both M and F checkboxes for sexual partners. At my first couple of visits, nothing was said or asked about my preference, nor was there any conversation when discussing prostate and ED issues, although I did discontinue use of 'Flomax' because it almost immediately resulted in retrograde ejaculations, and I told him of my displeasure with that, although didn't mention what kind of partner this would impact.

At a 3rd visit, I brought up the subject for STD testing, which I had not had up to that point. When he cocked his head a bit, I reminded him that I am bisexual, and he nodded, saying that he'd order the test.

I believe that a doctor needs to know as much about me as possible, if he's to help take care of my health. At 71, I've not given much thought to what insurance companies may or may not do with this information. If I were 35, I might think differently.

I am what I am...