Polyamory / consensual non-monogamy / open relationships / Ethical Sluts, etc.

Thought I would start a general discussion on these topics:

Polyamory / consensual non-monogamy / open relationships / Ethical Sluts, etc.

Does anyone here have experience?
Opinions? Observations?
Please share.

Yes, I have experience and thoughts.... was that all you wanted to know?





JK - My wife and I tried swinging a long time ago. It was the first step to my recognition I am a bi man. Bi, to me, is the same as Robyn Och's definition. (If that name is not familiar, go learn about her, then come back). My wife did not take it well, and after about 10 years of not talking, she had a few affairs (or one long one while claiming it was over). Since that catalyst, I have strived for an open, ethical/consensual non monogamous relationship... I have not been able to really let use and let my inner slut out. So many concerns with safety and maintaining a level of comfort for her has been the highest filter on my sexuality. I don't want to have hookups or one time get togethers, I don't want nameless sex. A conundrum for a sexually open person.

I spend a lot of energy on the open relationship part. I attend a few discussion groups on a regular basis. I am always looking to find a community that makes me feel like I belong. Straight does not do it. Gay does not do it. Bi seems to be very closeted near me.

I have experience with a polyamorous relationship. I wish it had turned out and I believe it can if all parties are open and accepting. I was the third wheel with a couple and if had been accepted as an equal in the relationship, it would have worked out fine. I was always just the other lover and the husband the one who had the final say in everything and the wife the next in command. I'm too strong a character for that to be possible.
With regards to ethical sluts (by the way, the title of a very informative book, The Ethical Slut), my wife today considers herself one and proud of it. It has led to wonderful swinging experiences and her acceptance of me, a bi guy.

As I have stated in previous posts regarding Polyamory, ( I take it that the starter of this thread wasn't wise, and didn't read my postings regarding this subject. . . )

There is a little known factor, called Jealousy, (or The Green Eyed Monster).

Or to put it in even simpler terms (for those of you who live in Rio Linda, CA.) Odd numbers in relationships just don't work.

Case closed ! Members of the Jury, thank you for your service, you are now adjourned.

I think bad experiences with swinging sour many women on non-monogamy.
See if your town has a polyamory discussion group.
That was one place where I always felt welcomed.

Yes, jealousy and insecurity really get at some people.
Non monogamous relationships are not for everyone.
Some couples and individuals seem more susceptible than others.

We are pretty lucky that way, but we have never been monogamous.

If I may chime in here, my wife and I opened our marriage 3 yrs ago and it brought out our deepest and heartfelt desires. She and I learned that each other were indeed bi and was act

Sorry my last comments were typing to fast and sent it before it was done, But to continue, my wife and I being in a marriage of over 30 yrs was to say the least getting boring. We are the best of friends and soul mates to the end of time, however when it comes to sex we both had skeletons in the closet that were revieled a couple yrs ago. Looking back, sex was a once a month thing that we engaged in. Since we opened our marriage sex is once again at the forefront of our day.

Over the years my wife and I have always been mindful of our bodies and maintained a healthy lifestyle so even in our mid 50s we are still attractive to others. Since that 1st time I saw her sucking my buddies cock on New Year’s Eve 3 Years ago we both have been bitten by the bisexual bug. Not only have we enhanced our own private sexual adventures but now we share it with others.

Niether one one of us are jealous of each other, at the end of the day we are still very close and comfortable sharing our bodies with others. Participating in our normal 3some is something we both look forward too. Watching her getting pounded while I lick the balls of the man fucking her is my night candy, he is our regular friend who frequently comes over for relief as he doesn’t get what he needs at home.

Our swingers group that we are proud members of and often entertain at our house is something we also look forward to, we play with 4 other couples almost weekly and one would think that it would be awkward but it’s entertaining that we now get our fantasies anytime we want regardless of who it is within our group.

For us our open marriage works works well and brings a lot of excitement into our marriage. The most important thing to remember is we are very much in love, with others we are very much in lust.

it goes to show, some people can pull it off, others can't. i wish happiness for everyone in whatever works for them.

After spending over 20 years in an open and poly relationship made up of me and three women (one legal wife), I learned a lot about this and harboring feelings like jealousy, possessiveness, selfishness, etc., will pretty much make sure that your attempt to be open/poly will most likely fail. When we first went open, I was against the idea my wife had put on the table but I realized that, um, since she loved pussy, she was gonna get some whether I "approved" or not so I said okay, we sat down and talked about everything - no secrets, no lies and came up with a minimum set of rules and that was after we realized that our first attempt at some rules would make sure that neither of us could really do anything on the "outside."

Being poly - where we eventually ended up - is harder than being married; it takes a great deal of communication along with problem resolution and time management skills; I tell others who wanna do this that if you can't always be thinking "us" and not always thinking about "me," things may not go well. If the people you include in your life don't totally and completely buy into this poly thing and how it benefits everyone involved, things may not go well. It's hard for people to think that something like this can work but I can tell you that it can work if everyone involved is a grown up as they think they are - and you gotta be seriously grown up to do this, enjoy it, and prosper in it.

It is great to hear from other bi guys in
healthy, happy, open, non-monogamous marriages.

Open couples can go to interesting places in their relationship.

Polyamory requires a lot of honesty and communication skills,
but partners share a wider variety of emotions and intimate experiences.

In first time polyamory sounds a bit strange. But it is new and interesting thing for me. I have girlfriend and few sex partners. We like to spend and relax together. Recently we had adult vacation to Prague where we were customers of nuru massage here

Wife and I have a fairly open polyamory marriage, trust, good solid marriage, good lines of communication, and a good understanding of your main partner is required.