Stay hard during anal?

I hope this isn't a dumb question. I've only bottomed a total of six times, so I'm kind of a newbie.

It doesn't matter how aroused I am, during anal penetration, my erection tends to go away. Is that normal,?

The first time out, I straddled my buddy , Dave, riding him cowboy style. In this position, Dave had easy access to my cock, and tried stroking me while we fucked. I never got more than semi-erect, which was disappointing for both of us. The second time, Dave fucked me in the "gay missionary " position with me on my back and my legs up over his shoulders. That made it possible for me to stroke my own cock, while Dave pounded my bottom. I thought it would be hot if I could have a good cum with Dave inside me. Again, the best I could manage was a semi-erection.

Not that I have any immediate plans to be fucked again, but is it possible to achieve and maintain a full erection while being anally penetrated?

I think it depends on the person, most of the guys I have topped stay hard and I enjoy making them cum while I fuck them. A few guys couldn't get hard while getting fucked or cum. I always feel bad for them but they say they enjoyed it anyway.

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Originally Posted by Sundazzled

It doesn't matter how aroused I am, during anal penetration, my erection tends to go away. Is that normal,?

I thought it would be hot if I could have a good cum with Dave inside me. Again, the best I could manage was a semi-erection.

Not that I have any immediate plans to be fucked again, but is it possible to achieve and maintain a full erection while being anally penetrated?

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Yes it is normal for that to happen. I fuck my husband with strap ons nowadays. As I am starting out he will be rock hard and continue so as I fuck him with him leaking all over himself in gay missionary as you call it. For us, if he is jerking off (which I loooovvveeee) as I fuck him he will stay hard and cum all over. If he waits to masturbate, focusing on the fucking he will at times gets soft. He orgasms anally massively and multi as much as I do from any penetration. Once he is building to orgasms anally, his penis is the last thing on his mind. Also, he tends to have more orgasms anally until he ejaculates. There are times when he was so into getting fucked he can do both and continue with more anal orgasms. He says these are the heaviest orgasms of all. From my vantage point I have to agree. Having Dave fucking you while cumming from your penis is what I am talking about. Pretty amazing. It is possible but from what he tells me, you have to focus on your penis. I've sucked him off while he is getting ass pounded - VERY FREAKING HOT!!! - and it was hard work - lol. Then that backside gets the right attention, it's tough to compete. I am the same way with DP. My backside takes my focus away from my V but together they are AMAZing! I think it takes practice. Training yourself where to focus. That is what I do.

It's not unusual for men enjoying anal to NOT be completely hard. You can still orgasm even if you aren't hard so if I were you I would just concentrate now on the feelings inside you during the experience of getting fucked. It's different kind of sensation but hopefully still pleasurable if he's stroking your prostate. You'll probably leak rather than cum right away but hopefully the sensations will eventually build up if you are very into it. You might need to loosen to relax and use your breath to better control you orgasm. Even if your dick isn't rock hard you can still rub yourself and experience pleasure. Think of it more like a big clit really because it's derived from the same structures .. if you can let go and get into it you might have some multiple orgasms .. good luck

I for one admit that I for the most part don?t get or stay hard while getting fucked.. yes I do orgasm if the sex is really good but I hardly ever get or stay hard.. very rarely if things are going really really good and he is doing very good things to me and hitting my prostrate about every time and feeling are starting to well up from deep inside me.. I sometimes get erect.. but all this is quite a process and takes some time.. if he isn?t hitting my prostate a lot I will get small faint twinges that kinda rattle through me but not strong powerful pangs.. they kinda have to build over time and frequently hitting the right spot..

Although I have a hard time maintaining my erection, I AM able to orgasm, and we eventually found a couple of way to make that happen while I'm being fucked. Even when I don't cum while receiving anal sex, I have some earth-moving orgasms after, presumably due to prostate stimulation. After Dave cums in me, he'll usually bring me off manually, or ask me to bring myself off while he watches. The convulsive power of my climax is like nothing I've ever experienced, and I ejaculate like a regular waterworks! Now, if I could only have such a shattering climax with Daved cock deep inside me, that'd be awesome.

Damn, thanks for your detailed response. I'd totally love to be fucked with that strap-on of yours and cum all over myself the way your husband does.

To be clear, I have orgasmed twice with Dave's cock inside me. I just never got fully erect and never shot streamer of cum, only just dribbled. Dave fucking me while cumming hard from my fully erect penis would be totally awesome. That's certainly what we were hoping to achieve. Perhaps I just need a little practice concentrating less on the fucking I'm receiving and more on my own penis. Perhaps some homework is in order. I'll let you know how it goes.

The odd part is that after he's done fucking me, Dave will generally bring me off manually, or have me stroke myself off while he watches. In those instances, I experience deep, gut-wrenching orgasms and massive ejaculations, which I'm told are the result of prostate stimulation. So why can't I achieve that same result with Dave's vock deep inside me?

I assume he needs to hit the right spot. I'll ask my husband when he gets home tomorrow.

I am never hard with something in my ass. I can cum once it's out and will drizzle pre cum the whole time

I get semi hard butt hardly ever a full erection

The focus for me is enjoying the ride of being fucked

Right -- that's the point -- if you are doing anything with your dick at this time it should be more like edging .. because if you ejaculate there will be a refractory period .. get close if you want, but don't ejaculate .. let him ride you and rub your prostate and stimulate those many nerve endings in the anus. This is a completely different kind of "orgasm" from what most guys are used to, more akin to what a female might experience I suppose -- because your body will eventually keep going about every 5 minutes or so in a perfect world. You'll likely leak like crazy when you orgasm but you may not ejaculate at all.

I think more guys would try it if they knew the kinds of feelings it can produce, but it DOES require that you give up a little bit of that control that we've all been told we always need to have. It does take a while, it does feel different, hopefully you have an attachment/desire for your partner and really trust the person you are with -- they aren't in a hurry, used enough lube, etc.

If you aren't blessed with an abundantly patient partner they do sell anal sex toys that will help you enjoy yourself -- some more "automatic" than others. Something like an aneros -- you can't just plug that thing in and expect to feel something good automatically if you want to use it to its full potential. You work it yourself using the muscles in your body, hormones and fantasies in your mind. It can be frustrating because you have to retrain yourself to experience a different kind of orgasm.

As stupid as this sounds I had to talk to myself and convince myself that it is okay to feel pleasure. If you've been taught that sex is naughty or experienced any sort of trauma -- and you are literally fucking yourself -- you may need to convince yourself that it's okay to enjoy those feelings .. you don't have to be nervous and can enjoy all the different little sensations of being rubbed down there. It may take 20 minutes to an hour to build up, but it can be very rewarding if you are in the right mood.

The other thing that stops some people is the idea of being dirty -- to me as long as you've had a regular bowel movement and a shower, that's decent enough .. the trade off in being able to give and receive so much pleasure when it's done right is worth it.

Drink water, and for gawd's sake, be sure to use "enough" lube .. not so much that you are swimming in it, but enough that it's not unnecessarily painful. I like the gel ones, the liquid ones have a tendency to just run away from where you need them most.

Thanks for your very detailed and informative response. I'm so eager to try this again. The last time my buddy, Dave, and I were together, I didn't actually orgasm, but I think I came pretty close. After maybe five of six minutes or so of Dave's vigorous thrusting, I felt a sort of glow, that pleasant feeling you get when your orgasm is near. I was stroking my cock furiously, trying to get fully hard. I never did, but suspect I might have had a full-on orgasm just from prostate stimulation if Dave could have held off cumming another two or three minutes.

After Dave finished, he asked to watch me get myself off. It didn't take long, and I came like a freight train! The contractions went on and on, and I spewed like a waterworks. I just wish I could have cum like that while Dave was in me.

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Originally Posted by Sundazzled

Thanks for your very detailed and informative response. I'm so eager to try this again. The last time my buddy, Dave, and I were together, I didn't actually orgasm, but I think I came pretty close. After maybe five of six minutes or so of Dave's vigorous thrusting, I felt a sort of glow, that pleasant feeling you get when your orgasm is near. I was stroking my cock furiously, trying to get fully hard. I never did, but suspect I might have had a full-on orgasm just from prostate stimulation if Dave could have held off cumming another two or three minutes.

After Dave finished, he asked to watch me get myself off. It didn't take long, and I came like a freight train! The contractions went on and on, and I spewed like a waterworks. I just wish I could have cum like that while Dave was in me.

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That's awesome. Sounds like you were close to a full anal orgasm. The good news is you can try again as much as you both want to hopefully. Have fun!

I do but haven't yet to cum , while being banged

I don't know how many times I've been rock-hard and when the guy goes to get it in me, I go soft and stay that way unless my dick is being stimulated by his hand or mine. Or, at best, I'm semi-erect. I can probably count on one hand the number of guys I've fucked and they stayed hard the whole time and without any action from me. I can remember having my prostate "beaten up" that I've ejaculated but quite soft, but not the same as having an orgasm while being banged. It's... weird how that happens and I'm not even sure why most guys go soft upon being penetrated - I just know about it and like many of us here probably do. Maybe that initial "discomfort" being penetrated "switches the boner off?" I dunno...

I just figure it's because your concentration is on the feelings inside rather than outside of you.

I always get hard at the start, but then get soft after a few minutes.

I almost never get hard during anal. As I've said before, if I open my legs for you, I'm surrendering and I relish the total loss of control. I'm giving myself to you and in return you will fuck me until I cum, hopefully with you at the same time. I'll concentrate on giving you a great ride, but nothing else other than the wonderful feeling of you inside me. Probably very "unmanly" of me, but then again, I have a very strong feminine side which I've used to my personal advantage in the past :).

I don't always stay hard when bottoming. It's just a muscle control issue. In order to relax your sphincter, you are also relaxing your prostate which controls the blood flow to your penis. So, to answer your question, it's perfectly natural that you would not usually be hard during anal sex as a bottom because your body needs to relax in order to accommodate penetration without pain. However, as others have stated, it's possible to achieve orgasm (in fact some of the most powerful you will ever experience) without being hard. At the right angle and with the right skills and equipment, your top will trigger the most amazing orgasms you can imagine.

The other side of this equation is that if you are to tight, your partner will have a harder time maintaining an erection and thus achieving orgasm himself. That has happened to me on a few occasions where my bottom was so tight they forced the blood out of my cock and I couldn't maintain my erection. There is nothing I like more than fucking a nice, tight ass (female or male), but there is tight and then there is to tight!

I have been fucked on several occasions and stay soft while being penetrated. I get erect or semi erect when having foreplay but once penetration starts I go limp. A lot of the times I'm locked in chastity. When I'm being fucked my cock is the last of my concerns. I go into what I call girl mode. Once I'm penetrated all I want is to feel that cock working in and out of me. I get very submissive and try to make sure my lover is having a good time. I found that if I feel very submissive and don't think about my cock I will usually have a mind blowing orgasm. It usually starts for me with him hitting my p spot which usually has me leaking like crazy (when I first started it kept feeling like I had to pee and would worry that I was going to start pissing but soon learned to ignore that feeling and just go with it) Then as the fucking goes on I start getting this warm feeling in my loins and pretty soon they are getting real hot. Then I start getting this wave after wave building through my body then finally like a massive wave hits and I feel totally relaxed and breathless, at that point sometimes the cum will just run out me then sometimes just a small amount. I believe that being able to have an orgasm requires you to be in a mindset that really doesn't promote an erection.

I can be rock hard but once my hole is penetrated, I'll go soft. Doesn't mean that I'm not enjoying it because I am ( very much !! ) but everyone's different and I've never let it bother me. I will say that the most intense orgasm I've ever had was when the wife was pegging me, I was on my back with my legs up and she was pounding my hole. I was able to stroke and get hard while she was nailing me and when I came.....omg, it was THE most intense, long lasting orgasm of my life. I had a nice load of cum on my belly to go with all the pre cum I'd leaked out....

I have limited experience with anal penetration. To be honest, it's just not my favorite sexual activity. For my part, irs just a lot of pressure, fullness and discomfort I could easily do without. I've only ever submitted to anal to accommodate an insistent partner. The payoff for me, however, has occasionally been an orgasm that rocks the world and probably registers on the Richter scale! The first time I experienced this was after being pegged during threesome play. Afterward, when it was finally my turn to cum, I experienced sort of a quaking, full-body orgasm with powerful contractions that seemed to originate deep within me and went on maybe three or four times longer than usual. Similarly, my output of semen was prolific. I thought I'd never stop cumming, and probably shot 15 or 16 jets of cum onto my heaving belly. And when I came to, the lady was tracing circles with her finger in the resultant puddle of cum, and rubbing it on her very erect nipples!

I have stayed hard sometimes and other times not, I'm not sure what the common link is though. Because I've been both while being pegged, with men and trans women. I know with my gf pegging what makes me hard is when she gets off on it, that makes me rock hard.

But bottoming for me is always about the other person getting off, like yeah I like it but it's not good if they dont.

Yes and even after I cum

I don't have alot of experience, but it varies. Sometimes hard as a phone pole, other times not. If my partner is enjoying themsleves, especially if they are being verbal, (not humiliating or mean spirited) then I am usually hard (and moaning)

Working that prostate!

Until my late 50s if there was any chance of any sort of sexual happening going on I was hard. As that cock entered me I'd often get even harder. Then age crept in. Now I tend to go soft when penetrated, but after a while of thrusting going on I gradually go from semi-hard to almost hard with a little extra surge during orgasm.

I have always had issues staying hard during sex, just nervous I guess. My mind wonders about pleasing myself, pleasing my partner, the smell, the noise, maybe I just haven't found "the one" that I'm so wrapped up in that none of that matters .. yet

I've used toys on myself to great effect, but have yet to have a really good fucking by a good lover .. it's kind of weird to think I'm still a "virgin" despite all my experiences. There's always tomorrow I guess.

As far as being penetrated I think you can still have a lot of fun either way, but if you are the one who wants to fuck? Frustrating as hell.

Just putting it out there. I mastubate with a 10” dildo. That even nears my sss in hard to the very end. If it’s a read cock??? I just can’t not stay hard till I’m spent.

I also get semi stiff when being fucked in the ass. I think it's to do with it being a different kind of stimulation. Once he's finished off inside me & pulled out I get hard, again.

I can’t stay hard while anything is in my ass. If I try to focus on getting hard I no longer enjoy having something in my ass. I feel like it’s blood flow related. I have the most intense assgasms ever when getting fucked in the ass. I’ll cum over and over again but just not erect. I have earth shattering prostate orgasms with anal but just can’t do it while I’m hard. It’s almost as if all my blood flow goes to whichever body part I’m pleasuring but can’t be divided lol

I think of the penis more like a big clit during anal stuff .. might be hard, might not be, just enjoy the sensations.

When I was trained by a male Dom as a bottom, he would smack my "clitty" with a crop if I got hard...that was 37 yrs ago and still stays soft when I am being fucked. Byt that is fine with me. I have still cum hands free at times when being fucked by a few men at group sessions I go to on my area of Maryland.

I have never gotten hard during anal. Even during getting fucked and another guy sucking my cock, I couldn't get hard or cum. Very frustrating. Oh course it was out first 3 some and we all had stage fright,LOL.