bi married guys -- anyone have a regular "friend with benefits"?

I had a long time male lover that lasted for 30+ years until died, I was married (and still am, to my knowledge she never let knew). I miss our weekly afternoon affairs. It's hard but I'm still looking for someone I can meet and we can start an affair.

I am emotionally geared only toward women when it comes to love and relationships. I'm twice married and divorced/separated and have been in several other love relationships of over a year with women. I am capable of forming and feeling a male bond with some men I meet, but I've never developed feelings of love for men nor do I have any desire to be in a mm relationship beyond a FWB sort of arrangement. Paradoxically, I do enjoy flirting, romance and intimacy with men (ie. kissing/making out, calling a male lover 'baby' etc.). When I am with a man and we're being very intimate and sexual, I get feelings that I get when I make love with a woman, but I've never felt true emotions with men. Consequentially, the great majority of men I've been with were one-time hookups. Usually either he, I or both of us had no desire to meet again although we both enjoyed the sex very much. From time to time, there were men with whom I just clicked and they had a mutual desire to meet again as did I. When we did arrange to meet again, I felt the same nervous, but pleasant anticipation as if I were dating a woman I'd had sex with previously. My cock even got hard thinking about having sex with him again. There have been less than 10 men I met multiple times and only 2 or 3 of the one-timers I hoped to meet again but who didn't want to meet me.

I had one married boyfriend several years ago whom I met 6 or 7 times over the space of a year. It was like we both flipped a switch and became passionate lovers when I greeted him naked at my door and then we both flipped the switch off when we parted. Both of us selectively met other men too. Neither of us wanted to be exclusive with each other. In fact it made for some very hot pillow talk when we'd tell each other about our sexual experiences with other men as we were playing with each other. I felt a closeness with him I'd never felt before with a man, but it was nothing resembling love.

I've met 6 guys since I moved here last June. I currently see just one guy semi-regularly, but it's a one-way thing. He's married and only wants to edge me for an hour or so before sucking me to completion. He quickly leaves after I've fed him. I'm cool with it, but want more. After all, I crave sensual play and sucking cock too LOL. My ideal situation would be to have 2 maybe 3 other FWBs who enjoy the same things as my former bf and I enjoyed. The feelings of closeness and the anticipation of repeating them over and over with a boyfriend/lover is what I'd like to experience with other men on a semi-regular basis.

Met a guy about 2 weeks ago on the net and we met for lunch and had a beer (well he had a beer) and just chatted. We met at his place 2 days later and really hit it off. He said that he hadn't kissed another guy before, but took to it like a duck to water we kissed, caressed and sucked each other for a bit, then went to his bed and sucked each other to completion (69). It was awesome. Met again 2-3 days later for a quickie "nooner" and although it was over soon, we apparently both enjoyed it because we are going to try to meet again next week
the schedules are difficult 'cuz he lives out of town and just comes in for 3-4days to work, and well, we're both married so we have to be discreet about our meetings
i am looking forward to our next encounter though. Been watching gay porn, and am really horned up!

I met a co worker one night when shopping We went and had a couple of beers. We started talking about sexual things we had done and ended up taking our cock out he felt mine first the I stroked his I still done no why but i leaned over and took his cock in my mouth then started sucking it. He held my head down till I felt it throb an spit his cum in mouth. I didn't stop I just sucked and swallowed till he was finishe He said he really like me sucking his cock and I could do it when ever I wanted if he was free We tried to get together often I even manage to suck his cock at work a few times. He later introduced me to another Guy that worked in the office . He was single at the time , I could call and go to his home to suck his cock at night.

No, but I wished I did.

While I haven't had much bi experience in my life, finding an interesting guy who I could connect with would be my goal. I've a few close male friends, but none of whom would I consider to also have a sensual relationship with. Having a FEB who I could spend time with both in and out of each other's pants would be ideal.

No but I've been looking for one. Its a difficult thing to find.

I too have been looking for one. I thought I had found a guy but he was more then two hours away and our schedule was very conflicting. His wife and mine were supportive and we met once or twice, the first time I sucked him. Then about 3 months of trying to meet again we finally got a chance and we actually fucked. After we fucked we went and got some food and he told me his wife and him were splitting up and that he wanted to explore more of his gay side. He also said that his wife wanted to split up due to her desiring other men. I told him the reason I liked our arrangement was because he was married and I liked the lower risk of catching a std. After we talked he asked if I wanted to meet again and I sadly called it off. I just didn't like knowing that he was going to be sleeping around with a bunch of other guys that might have who knows what then have the possibility of giving it to me and in turn me giving it to my wife. Plus he wasn't one for the safest of practices. So the search continues. Wish one of you guys lived closer! Ive been craving cock like crazy.

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Originally Posted by Sigstache

No but I've been looking for one. Its a difficult thing to find.

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Sent you a message.

I am not sure what relationhip I would want. LTR would be more stable, but I could only consider this if my wife accepted my position.

If my wife accepted me< LTR with a nice friend I have. Doing it anyway. He wants what he wants, I get I what I want. It's good! Mmmmm. Not often enough tho. I need cock.

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Originally Posted by The Galion

If my wife accepted me< LTR with a nice friend I have. Doing it anyway. He wants what he wants, I get I what I want. It's good! Mmmmm. Not often enough tho. I need cock.

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Lol that's nor a LTR or actual relationship, he is nothing but a fuck buddy who you are cheating on your wife who you supposedly love and care for. Just be a man for once and get a divorce.

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Originally Posted by secret.bisexual

Hi everyone, I'm just asking this question to see if bi attached / married guys prefer to have a long-term 1-on-1 with another guy, or if they like to just meet up randomly.

Myself, I have a "special friend", another married guy that I meet up with regularly. It has been about 3 years now. It's been very hot and erotic. Also, there's the knowledge that because it's just the 2 of us, there's less potential for risks.

Any thoughts?

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…I use to live alone so was almost always available…for a couple of years I was the FWB of 8 or 10 married guys…my mouth was only a phone call away…I sucked on short notice…

I am not very experienced yet but I would prefer a fwb situation. Which is what I am desperately seeking.

There is no shortage of bi men out there who'd very much love to have a regular or semi regular FWB (or several of them) for hot, fun no strings mm sex. They are everywhere on Craigslist and the other major mm hookup sites. Peruse any of those sites, read the profiles/ads and you'll quickly notice that the great majority of those men are married men. You'll also notice that almost no matter where you live, there are plenty such men nearby. They don't hide the fact that they are down low and looking to step out on their wives to get the mm sex they crave or any sex they can find. Many are getting little or no sex at all at home. They will take the risk to meet other men rather than be forced to have boring sex or no sex at all at home. Why not seek other women? Because (A) they want cocks and or blowjobs and both are readily and easily found in men...and... (B) mistresses can be high maintenance and often bring drama. They tend to look primarily for other married men because as a general rule married men practice safer mm sex so that there is less risk of taking home an STD souvenir of their manfun to their wives. I have met hardly any married men who felt guilt or shame at having sex with me. Almost all of them say they don't feel like they are cheating when they have sex with other men, but they would consider it cheating and feel guilty having sex with other women.

Why are so many bi married men frustrated that they can meet dozens of other eager and willing bi married men online, but still not arrange to meet up in real time with a FWB for regular mm sex when there are so many of them nearby? The primary obstacle is that married men can't generally host at their homes. If they can, it is at best very seldom that they get such an opportunity. Many won't even host when their families are out off town for fear of nosy or gossipy neighbors catching on. For a FWB hookup, 2 things are needed...motive (aka mood) and opportunity (a place and a time to play and proximity to each other). No problem with the motive part. Most married bi men are horny for other men most of the time or they wouldn't be spending so much time online searching. The devil in the details is that one partner has to have or know of a safe & private place to play. Also both men must be able to get away from home or work (usually on short notice) and not have to travel too far to meet at their designated rendezvous place at the same time. Where there's a will there's a way. Bi married men need to work together, be patient and ready to take advantage of any opportunity that arises in order to be regular FWBs. Often a calculated risk must be taken by one or both but it is almost always worth that risk. Staying in touch and being able to discreetly contact each other is a must. Establishing a short term and a long term plan to meet can't hurt either ! I can only host occasionally, and I have plans in place with several men I've met and several that I'd love to meet so that I can take advantage of my opportunity when I have the house to myself ;)

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Originally Posted by cuttin2dachase

There is no shortage of bi men out there who'd very much love to have a regular or semi regular FWB (or several of them) for hot, fun no strings mm sex. They are everywhere on Craigslist and the other major mm hookup sites. Peruse any of those sites, read the profiles/ads and you'll quickly notice that the great majority of those men are married men. You'll also notice that almost no matter where you live, there are plenty such men nearby. They don't hide the fact that they are down low and looking to step out on their wives to get the mm sex they crave or any sex they can find. Many are getting little or no sex at all at home. They will take the risk to meet other men rather than be forced to have boring sex or no sex at all at home. Why not seek other women? Because (A) they want cocks and or blowjobs and both are readily and easily found in men...and... (B) mistresses can be high maintenance and often bring drama. They tend to look primarily for other married men because as a general rule married men practice safer mm sex so that there is less risk of taking home an STD souvenir of their manfun to their wives. I have met hardly any married men who felt guilt or shame at having sex with me. Almost all of them say they don't feel like they are cheating when they have sex with other men, but they would consider it cheating and feel guilty having sex with other women.

Why are so many bi married men frustrated that they can meet dozens of other eager and willing bi married men online, but still not arrange to meet up in real time with a FWB for regular mm sex when there are so many of them nearby? The primary obstacle is that married men can't generally host at their homes. If they can, it is at best very seldom that they get such an opportunity. Many won't even host when their families are out off town for fear of nosy or gossipy neighbors catching on. For a FWB hookup, 2 things are needed...motive (aka mood) and opportunity (a place and a time to play and proximity to each other). No problem with the motive part. Most married bi men are horny for other men most of the time or they wouldn't be spending so much time online searching. The devil in the details is that one partner has to have or know of a safe & private place to play. Also both men must be able to get away from home or work (usually on short notice) and not have to travel too far to meet at their designated rendezvous place at the same time. Where there's a will there's a way. Bi married men need to work together, be patient and ready to take advantage of any opportunity that arises in order to be regular FWBs. Often a calculated risk must be taken by one or both but it is almost always worth that risk. Staying in touch and being able to discreetly contact each other is a must. Establishing a short term and a long term plan to meet can't hurt either ! I can only host occasionally, and I have plans in place with several men I've met and several that I'd love to meet so that I can take advantage of my opportunity when I have the house to myself ;)

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If they're married and their wife or husband doesn't know they're having sex with other people regardless of if it's with a man then it's cheating.

Not all bisexual men are into cheating on their female or even male partner/spouse. A lot of times if a man is married to a woman and cheats on her with men he's gay and not bisexual.

LTR all the way. I'm not a one night stand kimd of guy. In fact over the weekend I reconnected with an old "friend".

I have one buddy i see maybe once a month. Wish it was more often but will take what i have. I enjoy the sex and so does he.

Did have but she moved, looking for another special person

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Originally Posted by cuttin2dachase

There is no shortage of bi men out there who'd very much love to have a regular or semi regular FWB (or several of them) for hot, fun no strings mm sex. They are everywhere on Craigslist and the other major mm hookup sites. Peruse any of those sites, read the profiles/ads and you'll quickly notice that the great majority of those men are married men. You'll also notice that almost no matter where you live, there are plenty such men nearby. They don't hide the fact that they are down low and looking to step out on their wives to get the mm sex they crave or any sex they can find. Many are getting little or no sex at all at home. They will take the risk to meet other men rather than be forced to have boring sex or no sex at all at home. Why not seek other women? Because (A) they want cocks and or blowjobs and both are readily and easily found in men...and... (B) mistresses can be high maintenance and often bring drama. They tend to look primarily for other married men because as a general rule married men practice safer mm sex so that there is less risk of taking home an STD souvenir of their manfun to their wives. I have met hardly any married men who felt guilt or shame at having sex with me. Almost all of them say they don't feel like they are cheating when they have sex with other men, but they would consider it cheating and feel guilty having sex with other women.

Why are so many bi married men frustrated that they can meet dozens of other eager and willing bi married men online, but still not arrange to meet up in real time with a FWB for regular mm sex when there are so many of them nearby? The primary obstacle is that married men can't generally host at their homes. If they can, it is at best very seldom that they get such an opportunity. Many won't even host when their families are out off town for fear of nosy or gossipy neighbors catching on. For a FWB hookup, 2 things are needed...motive (aka mood) and opportunity (a place and a time to play and proximity to each other). No problem with the motive part. Most married bi men are horny for other men most of the time or they wouldn't be spending so much time online searching. The devil in the details is that one partner has to have or know of a safe & private place to play. Also both men must be able to get away from home or work (usually on short notice) and not have to travel too far to meet at their designated rendezvous place at the same time. Where there's a will there's a way. Bi married men need to work together, be patient and ready to take advantage of any opportunity that arises in order to be regular FWBs. Often a calculated risk must be taken by one or both but it is almost always worth that risk. Staying in touch and being able to discreetly contact each other is a must. Establishing a short term and a long term plan to meet can't hurt either ! I can only host occasionally, and I have plans in place with several men I've met and several that I'd love to meet so that I can take advantage of my opportunity when I have the house to myself ;)

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…this goes along with what I said about living alone so having a safe place for us to get together…there was a time when I wasn’t working so had all the time in the world to be on the net looking for dick…there was almost a year & a half when I averaged 2 dicks a day…the majority married…because I was available 24/7 there were days I blew a guy on his way to work…another at lunch…another late afternoon…& another on his way home from work…..& then another in the evening…the thing that slowed me down was the price of gass…most of my visitors lived in other parts of the metro-plex…far enough away that they wouldn’t be seen by anyone they knew…….when gas went up they were no longer able to conceal theextra miles driven to their wives…

I got lucky, (pun intended), and found a true friend almost two years ago. We live very close, our wives know we're friends and we even do things as two couples at times so it's not an ordeal to see each other.

We enjoy each other's company whether just socially or sexually.

I had an old friend I used to PLAY with when I was younger come back into my life. We rekindled the old flame over the wrekend.

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Originally Posted by donttellnehismy

I had an old friend I used to PLAY with when I was younger come back into my life. We rekindled the old flame over the wrekend.

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…sounds like an interesting story…tell us about it…don’t skip the details…

Well it started when we were well I'll just say young because I know drew frowns on posts like that. We found a copy of Penthouse in my parents bathroom which had a girl girl and a guy girl pictorial. We just started imitating everything we saw. Then we broke up became on and off friends. This last week we found each other on Facebook and met up. Over the weekend we started talking about old times and one thing led to another. If you want more details you can inbox or yahoo me.

UOTE=charles-smythe;288194]…sounds like an interesting story…tell us about it…don’t skip the details…
[/QUOTE]

http://imagehost.thasnasty.com/?di=PG48

Yes! I saw one guy for five years. It only ended when he moved a long way away. His wife knew about it, mine did not, though my wife knows I am bisexual. It was really hard to keep the secret, but it was worth it. Being exclusive is always better, safer, and a lot more comfortable. I met a guy recently, and it looks like it could go the same way. His wife knows he is bi, but does not know he wants to act on it. I will be seeing him in about an hour and am about bursting with anticipation. A good FWB is worth a lot! The guy I saw before, and his wife, were very open. She was bi as well, and I think that helped.

I would love to have a FWB (male that is). I hope that if I find the right man, the logistical details would fall into place. Meeting that persons seems to be the challenge for me.

My first FWB was my best friend Larry. What started out as jerk off sessions morphed into mutual masturbation and inevitably, the exchanging of blowjobs. It became immediately apparent that although I delighted in sucking his cock, he was less than enthusiastic about returning the favor. We eventually arrived at the mutually agreeable understanding that he would permit me to continue sucking his cock if I would agree to allow him to savagely fuck my throat. This happy compromise set the pattern that has followed me all my life. I would alternate between brief but intense episodes of virtually non stop oral servitude and degradation followed by extended periods of strictly heterosexual relationships. You could call me a serial cocksucker. Although I'm presently married to the woman I love and consider my best friend and life partner, I also meet on an irregular basis with my latest FWB, another married man like myself, to suck his cock and also occasionally suck the cocks of a few of his friends too. Friends with friends with benefits! Or, friends with benefits with friends?

I have a FWB, saw him yesterday, all we have ever done is blow each other, after years of knowing each other this is what we have become comfortable with, there's no wanting to kiss or fuck, just 69, it works for us.

I had one some years ago and miss it a lot. The guy I was seeing moved out of state and that ended it unfortunately. The comfort level is so good, and it becomes so easy to put together times to see each other. We met multiple times a week, and had sex at least twice a week. I took a video at one point and my wife got hold of it accidentally. She approached me about it and told me I needed to be open about it so there would be no secrecy. Her knowing did nothing to stop our own sex lives at all at the time, and having to try to be careful to time meetings became redundant. That changed with menopause unfortunately, so if I am lucky enough to find the right person here, I have to go back to being down low, and I hate that.