Why would you be humiliated if people knew you are bisexual?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cutiliae
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Why would you be humiliated if people knew you are bisexual?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cutiliae
…business reasons…Quote:
Originally Posted by pole_smoker
I may run for public office someday.Quote:
Originally Posted by pole_smoker
If you're actually serious about that just come out as bisexual and a CD/TV before you run, since otherwise it will be found out.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cutiliae
Plus there have been out bisexual politicians who have ran and won both in the United States, and worldwide. No idea about the CD/TV thing but I'm sure there are people in high political power positions who are into that.
There was a city counsel member here a few years ago who was an open TG who wore women's clothes and shoes to counsel meetings.
I actually agree with Pole on that one.Quote:
Originally Posted by pole_smoker
Agreed.Quote:
Originally Posted by tenni
And sometimes it's not because they don't want people to know their sexual orientation either. I once hooked up with a single straight guy who was in town on a business trip. His employer frowned upon him having a guest in his room. Hence, why he wanted to keep it discreet.
Good point!Quote:
Originally Posted by Melody Dean
Beyond that I refer to a famous Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau who more than forty years ago stated that the government had no business in the bedrooms of the nation. This was a fore runner in attitude and values that lead to such critical events as same sex marriage. If the government has no business then it is less so for individuals to demand or even want to know what a person does sexually.
There is a belief held by some bisexuals that what a person does in their bedroom is no one else's business. People who react with disgust, anger or demand that someone has the right to know what sexual act or is attracted to both men and women are really infringing of that person's right to freedom of sexual expression. As long as all involved are consenting adults and no one is hurt, it is none of anyone else's business.
My province not only has a woman Premier but she is a lesbian. No where during the election was her sexuality held up to ridicule. Her wife was not put foreward as part of her campaign nor was she hidden. No where during the election campaign was it dragged out that Kathlynn Wynne was a divorced woman with children and remarried to a woman. Her adult children lived their own lives and were not part of her campaign. They may have been on the stage after winning the election but the media never focused or mentioned that. In a lot of heterosexuals election campaigns in other countries, the wife of a heterosexual is put forth as part of the male heterosexual's "family" values campaign. "Look we are good decent people as we are married heteros etc."
When it was relevant, it was reported that she had adult children. You can see in her legislation that she and her government are dealing with sexual and body education issues much firmer than previous hetero male Premiers did. Still today, no media has given out her wife's sexual history out to the public.
Discretion should understood as having so much more to do with equal individual rights and less to do with shame when we think about this word discretion.
In the US, her orientation would have been the ONLY issue. Her spouse and children would have been front and center in the news coverage.
All the political issues would have been secondary.
That's the difference between US and Canada
Country Guy
I can see that happening and smearing does happen in Canadian politics. There has always been a subtle difference between US and Canadian politics. Sex in politics generally is of less concern to the Canadian electorate. Even sex scandals are not as emphasized here. There is a tendency for Canadian media to leave personal aspect out of the news but not always.
Trust me, we have a Conservative party and if they thought that they could win votes by attacking her sexuality, they would with glee. The Federal Conservatives have a core base of right winged like that group in the Republican party. The provincial Conservatives tried to defeat her on fiscal scandal rather than sexual orientation scandal. People in Ontario did not listen to the Conservatives attempt to make a fiscal scandal stick. Instead ciizens voted even a larger Liberal MPP's than the previous election. Go figure.
This is not to write that homophobia and biphobia does not exist in pockets of Ontario. It just doesn't do bigots a lot of support if they are very open and public with the statements etc. Recently, I had a video installation on kissing between different ages, genders, and inter racial couples. There was no one protesting publicly. Someone did spit on the window of the installation and it froze on the window. That was discreet lol The question that I have was the bigot protesting same gender kissing? inter racial kissing? or they just didn't like my work..lol
That's very true the term discreet means the person is cheating on a spouse or partner and is a liar.Quote:
Originally Posted by welickit
Sometimes, you do good. Sometimes, you do exceptionally good. Thank you. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by tenni
Let me throw this out there, is denying a partner the physical joys of a relationship after many years, cheating them out of one of life's greatest pleasures? Perhaps that is just another example of "cheating" and idk justifiable or not as a solution.
This is one example of why I now refrain judging those who do cheat. Ultimately, I am not aware of their situation andQuote:
Originally Posted by j4u42
they may face this for example. I do not cheat. That does not say everyone else must not cheat. I will to best of my
knowledge not engage with someone I know is cheating. Sorry, I want no part in any drama with cheating.
Even the ones who "well, the SO knows but doesn't know", to me are off limits. That is merely a personal choice.
Got enough adversity in being me, don't need extra. That doesn't mean I am judging the person. In fact it is me
judging myself. I'm not capable of handling that situation. If you can do it, more power to you.
As others have said, their is no difference. If you are on the DL, you are cheating. Think of it this way: every cheating spouce is "discreet" when he/she is hooking up with a heterosexual lover.Quote:
Originally Posted by welickit
However, I always use "discreet" to mean that what a guy and I do is just between the two of us and that l'm into PDAs, gay club running or the scene in general. Just because I am out to my wife and have her blessings, this doesn't mean I am (or want too be ) out to everyone. Outing myself could have serious ramifications on both my and her careers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bimmga
I think Bimmga says it well...a *smart* cheater exercises discretion when cheating. So yeah, it's discreet. But it's still also cheating.Quote:
Originally Posted by j4u42
But I also take j4u42's point well, and like void, tend not to rush to *judge* cheating. I agree that it is not nice for a spouse to deny sex to a partner AND deny that partner the right to seek sex elsewhere...I find that selfish and controlling, ultimately disrespectful. But to me, cheating in response to disrespect is *understandable* cheating, but no less cheating. To me, the right approach would be to say, "look, I'd have sex with you if I could, if you'd enjoy that...but you won't...either give me the right to seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere, or let's end this relationship, because your demands are unfair." And the chips would then fall as they may.
But bottom line for me on the word "cheating" is that "cheating" is breaking/not honoring an agreement (implicit or explicit). If you're having sex that a spouse did not agree to, then whether or not you like the word, you are cheating.
LMAO!!! Nobody "denies" anyone of the physical joys of a relationship, and if someone's in a sexless relationship or marriage for years or even decades then they are choosing to stay in this unhealthy relationship instead of communicating, actually coming out to their partner/spouse, or getting a divorce before they decide that they somehow have the "right" or "excuse" to cheat. :rolleyes: People who cheat and lie to their partner or spouse are chickenshit cowards who should not be married or in a relationship at all. ;) :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by j4u42
Being out as bisexual would not have serious ramifications for your "wife" or your careers. It's going to be 2016 soon, and nobody cares about this here in the United States if you're LGBT and out, or if you're LGBT and have a career whatever it is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bimmga
youve been watching too much TV and believing evertything the media tells you. Gays and bis ARE NOT a protected class in the US. A homophobic born-againer would fire you in a minute if he discovered you were bi. We are making progress, but there are still legions of people who hate you for who you are and will hurt you if they can. It happens every single day. If what I'm saying isn't true, LGBT advocacy groups would have folded their tents and gone home by now.Quote:
Originally Posted by pole_smoker
i hate to agree with u.......alot of people in the us still have a problem with lgbt. some states still don't even have laws against descrimination against lgbt. we are making progress hopefully very soon it will just be a very few people noone hardly hears from. but we can't even overcome racism much less homophobia. it is gonna be 2016 soon we should all be over it & we are better off than we were years ago, at least we got gay marriage. but we still got so far to go & honestly i'm not hopefull.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bimmga
There's nothing wrong with loving your privacy! Doesn't necessarily mean you're a cheater. We're living in an intrusive, digital age where it's become the exception instead of the norm. Whatever became of the Constitutional guarantee of " a reasonable expectation of privacy ? " Human nature, as despicable as it is at times....will to this day continue to use your private moments against you !
I am discreet, I am not a cheater there. There is nobody at home to tell first, I am cheating on nobody, what I personally do is my own business and I am putting no one at risk. I have never cheated on a partner, I have broken up with people first when I decided that the relationship was not fulfilling enough to stay with the person I was with. Why do I consider myself discreet? In my case this would be a career killer, a silent killer that I have seen it where I work. There is no legal recourse when they select others and bypass you consistently year after year, even though everyone knows what is happening, it is subjective with no proof. There is no reason for me to tell the world my business so long as nobody is at risk due to my choices. I have the right to privacy and cherish it.
LMAO No I don't watch too much TV. :rolleyes: I'm too busy living in reality. If you get fired or discriminated against in your job because you're bisexual, gay, etc. then you can sue and win and get money. FYI, not all people who are Christian even the 'born again' type are homophobic or will fire or discriminate against people who are LGBT from their jobs if they are their boss.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bimmga
We know a bisexual man who is married to another man that has a born again Christian boss and she knows all about how he and his husband are bisexual and is fine with it.
This is not the 1960s or early 1970s; but a lot of people here who are closeted seem to think that it still is. ;) :rolleyes:
Quote:
Originally Posted by pole_smoker
No, it's not the 60's but you're definitely still living in The Twilight Zone ! :smilies15
The guy is a clown Pep... a very unfunny nasty clown.. he hasnt a clue what discreet means.Mind u he hasn't a clue what owt means...;). I love twiglets btw... :impleasedQuote:
Originally Posted by pepperjack
I think he belongs somewhere in this line up : http://heavy.com/comedy/2012/10/the-...epiest-clowns/Quote:
Originally Posted by darkeyes
I am discreet. But I'm not a cheat. I've been single for a few years, aside from dating a few people here and there. Right now is the closest I've been to actually being in a relationship, and I'm seeing 2 guys on a regular basis, and they know about one another. One is divorced, the other is married, and his wife not only knows about it, but she encourages it. She has actually texted me to come and take him off her hands for awhile because he was being "annoying." The only people who know are the ones who are involved (my friend's wife has gotten involved on occasion). I am discreet because I believe that it is none of anyone's business what I do in the bedroom. Also, I live in a pretty rural area at the moment, and as hard as it is for some people to believe or accept, it can have negative consequences on your job and overall well being in general. There are some people in my neighborhood, let alone my town who would not think twice about doing very, very bad things if they knew someone was gay or bi.
So there's that.
Direct, truthful what you say. If bisexuals, homosexuals, transsexualsQuote:
Originally Posted by Bimmga
were safe there would be need of advocacy ergo, no advocacy would exist.
Advocacy still exists, ergo, we are still not safe. Clear logic in that.
It's an if, then, else statement.
if X
then Y
else no X
Not only against the individual, they will come after those theQuote:
Originally Posted by pepperjack
individual loves. This did and still happens. I will speak briefly using
controversial language, I do so to illustrate a point and not to be
malicious of others.
A white woman in the deep Southern U.S., could become involved with a
black man. Not only would the black man be attacked for being perceived
as perverting the woman, she would be attacked and deemed a nigger
lover. Heck, they may kill them both for the grounds they consider it
unnatural. Then, they could go after the families of this couple. "Mr.
& Mrs. Smith, you know your gal Suzy was a nigger lover? How you raise
such a child? We string you up too."
There are many places where such prejudice exists. It is not only
hate regarding what your skin color is, it is hate even if you think
differently. Want a clear example of that? Look at what Christianity
did to those they dubbed heretics, and used that word in a disparaging
manner. All the word heretic means from the original Greek & Latin is,
someone has a different way of thinking / opinion. The Church began
codifying under Constantine and did not want Christianity seen as a
multi-faceted belief, no, they wanted it all as the Holy Roman Catholic
Church and its brand of Christianity, only. So, heretics were put to
death as accused witches, or simply because someone pointed a finger.
My point is, hate has, does continue to happen. We ALL need to realize
there is NOTHING wrong in being different. Until we ALL do that, hate
will continue to destroy us ALL. And yes, this is why some of us value
having privacy. Ultimately, does it matter if I fuck a man or woman
tonight, next Tuesday? If we both agreed and enjoyed ourselves, I don't
think so. Yet society and hate think otherwise. Guess I'll be a heretic
eternally.
Apologies again for the controversial language used. Hopefully it
serves/d only the purpose intended in this context alone.
the 1st clown was creepy but i gotta admit kinda sexy in a way too.......i also liked the last clown though i wasn't really looking at the creepy face :)Quote:
Originally Posted by pepperjack