bi married guys -- anyone have a regular "friend with benefits"?

ROFLMAO Voted off the Island... I love you, Drew :D

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Originally Posted by The Bisexual Virgin

Sweetheart your fuck buddy sounds GAY, as hell to me, and he could have always been gay. And he is extremely selfish for cheating on his wife with men no less, and not admit to cheating.I will admit I have a serious issue with bisexual men.They do fucked up shit, and will no own up to it, and they are completely ass backwards. And I also believe you should have at least have the common decency to tell your friends wife. Although you might think she is a terrible person she does not need to be made a fool of,because that's what her GAY husband is doing, making a complete fool out of her.

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Without facts, your view is only an opinion. My buddy is not gay. If we walk on the street and he saw a beautiful woman, he would still comment that he wanted to fuck her. Gays don't do that when they see a beautiful woman on the street and would say they want to fuck her. It's that simple. He never denies nor have I said also that he is not cheating, but I said on the forum here his struggles and his journey how he was with his wife in a monogamous relationship and ended up being with me in a man to man relationship. I never denied he was cheating, but all I said is he is not the kind of villian as you might think he is. He got no sex at home. Men want sex. When men get married, is it strictly for love and not for a fuck? I think women are being naive if they think like that. Yes, love is part of it. But lust, sex are also part of it. You don't fuck your best friend, you fuck your wife. He needed a fuck, he wasn't getting it at home. He tried not to hurt his young families so he cheated and he tried it out on men. When a man gets married, it's 1+1 = 2. In his case, with 3 young kids, it became 1+1 = 5. The dynamics have changed. The formula has changed. He knew he could not be completely honest with his wife because she was a control freak and as I said, even his grown up kids now think why their dad has to put up with all her bullshits now. With 1+1 no longer equals 2 but 5, there was a lot more to think about. We all have needs and sexual needs is one of them. So he cheated because he knew his wife wouldn't be able to handle it and the family would break up. He made life choice out of a now a complex situation. No longer 1+1=2 when he also needed to consider his needs and his family and what he didn't get from home i.e. sex. Yes he was cheating, but he never has been such a villian as one might think. We all have stories to how we become what we are today. It's never just so black and white.

Getting back to the original question of this thread, I'm married, bi and I wish I had a regular friend with benefits.

Yes let's get back on topic. I too am married. I've got two regular friends with benefits. One is my original friend with benefits. We've been sharing benefits since we were 14. I've also got another regular too.

Glad to know I'm not alone. Of course Chicagom is intensely condescending of closet married bis, so we must all be "wrong" . . . his wisdom towering like it does . . . .

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Originally Posted by gen11

Glad to know I'm not alone. Of course Chicagom is intensely condescending of closet married bis, so we must all be "wrong" . . . his wisdom towering like it does . . . .

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Umm.. not seeing a single comment in this thread by Chicagom, let alone any comments to support that statement, Gen11.....

Maybe I posted it on the wrong thread. I was mucking around in two. Check the Lincoln/Obama update. Meantime, you cited personal experience as verification of an opinion you offered. I claim the same -- only scratching a gnat-bite.

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Originally Posted by gen11

. . . his wisdom towering like it does . . . .

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yup... his wisdom towers over you... wise enough and classy enough to hold his mud ...

sarcasm: the refuge of the intellectually castrated (and a few heavy drinkers I know)

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Originally Posted by The Bisexual Virgin

UMMMMMM Tenni re-read what you just wrote.Some of these men have fwb, on the side without their wives knowing,so therefore some of thse guys are having with another man.And believe me I am no troll. And, yes I have a distrust of men, and especially bi men,shouldn't every self-respecting woman feel the the same?

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I know she's not here anymore thankfully, but lemme respond to this all the same.

I finally found a wonderful male partner. Been with him for 6 months. Wife knows. She encourages it. Why? Because it helps me be me and "I am a better husband" (her words) now that I have a male lover as well as a marriage to her. Her trust of me INCREASED because she knew I would be responsible, not less so. Every self-respecting woman who has a bisexual husband shouldn't distrust their husband, they should work with them and work toward self fulfillment. Just as she's done with my BF and I.

She has indicated she'd like to join us at some point, but that's likely not going to happen because he and I are in the midwest and she and the kids are in Florida. (Long story), plus I am leaving here at the end of Sept to rejoin the family as my work here will be done. They are my priority. It sucks for my bi sex life, BUT it is what it is. So I'll enjoy what I can while I can. My wife is fine with it. I hope secretly she reaches out and finds her inner bisexual woman. She has fantasies and dreams about it so I know she is bisexual, but the fear of going that extra step makes her tentative. It truly is a wonderful thing.

i have two regular guys here in savannah that i play with and its some of the best sex, ive been with one for over a year now

well, after having read ALL of the posts here, where does one start?...I agree with much here and disagree with some. I also saw how things went rampant when certain points were made and all went in different directions until some calmness was restored.

I can only respond to this with my own experiences and hope to shed some light on this topic but of course, only from my experiences.

There was a time when I was married some years ago and thought that I would never venture beyond the marriage to indulge in my hunger for male sex ever again. As time moved forward and some months into the relationship, I found my appetites returning. Eventually I ventured out and indulged. When it first happened and after the first encounter, I felt the most intense guilt because I knew that I had betrayed a trust made to a woman that believed I was her one and only; sexually and otherwise. I told myself that would be the one and only encounter but as time moved on again, it happened again and again and again. In my case, there was not the issue of my wife lacking in anything sexually and I enjoyed it immensely with her as well. I never told her but lived in constant guilt. What can happen when one lives in secret and hides is that a self loathing can develop and did with me. Though she never knew, (but perhaps sensed it) my guilt caused other issues.

There is so much to tell...the truth is that the marriage suffered because of the secrecy and deceit. Of course we parted ways and divorced based on the fact that I was absent to her needs on a personal level...I had become distant. The sex between us probably suffered because of all of this...when we parted, it was the darkest and most emotionally painful moment of my life. This was mainly due to the fact that we had a child between us who was not yet 2 years old. I hated myself in that time. And I realized that something had to change in myself if I was ever going to be with anyone again and mostly if I was ever going to be at peace with myself.

So I started the work to delve into myself deeper than I ever had before; real soul searching. I went into therapy for it as I was determined once and for all to not ever let this happen again. At first it was the struggle with denying that I was bi and that somehow I was going to 'overcome' being bi...but I learned to turn around and face me and see myself for who I was. This took another 9 full years of working towards finding out who I was/am. The process was gradual steps and when I reached a plateau of understanding, I realized that I loved and adored women; sexually, emotionally, etc and that I simply had an appetite sexually for men and nothing else and that the time to quit hating myself for it had arrived. I

nterestingly, my closest male friends, I was/am never sexual with and those I am sexual with, our common interest is sex only. We don't go out or hang out, it's sex. We have some conversations but nothing in depth like my close male friends. When I saw this, I finally embraced it and accepted it. Since that time, I make it very clear to any woman that I have had interest in that I'm bi. This has proven difficult and one of the two women parted with me after a year of trying to accept it but never could. But she thanked me for being honest with her from the start. The other one didn't ever protest, but for other reasons we went our separate ways...I eventually would like to connect with a woman that would understand and accept this about me realizing that I would always love her and that my indulgence with men is purely sexual.

I do know of men who have friends with benefits and their wives/girlfriends/partners/ are fully aware. Their relationships are stable as that understanding is between them. But I must say that not everyone has this choice. I'm not condoning that men be dishonest but everyone has their reasons and everyone has an opinion about those reasons. Ultimately it is their burden to carry if they choose to hide and be secretive. But I feel it very wrong to condemn them in such a manner as has been the case with many posts here. I have no desire to condemn AllOiledUp and his friend; they will work through whatever it is they have to and the wife too...the dynamics in that whole situation are in the hands of those involved whatever the outcome. There's all kinds of perspectives in that situation for those involved and those outside looking in have their reason for making comments about it...and sometimes the truth is the best medicine and sometimes there are those who can't handle it. And perhaps the children do loathe their mother...I don't know. Maybe the children should know about their father; again, I don't know. My child has known I am bi for the last 6 years as she is now a young woman and completely accepts me. But maybe this man's children would not; what then?

Though this topic was obviously intended for males to respond to it, I feel nothing on this site is exclusive to any one gender. We're here hopefully to try and understand one another regardless of gender. Surely, there are some areas that women will understand concerning women better and the same is true with males understanding males. But the beauty of it would be to have us all try to understand together. Isn't that the dance of the sexes? Besides, there's a bit of each gender in all of us like it or not.

Concerning attacks and judgements, I have used this line from a verse in the bible so often and it is one that is so familiar to anyone who has had a Christian upbringing..."whoever is without sin, cast the first stone"... No, I am not some bible thumping scholar or pretend to be and don't live a so called Christian life either. We can qualify the nature of such 'sin' to fit into what we think or believe, but it's all the same...

We all have viewpoints....please, let's be more civil with one another...I come to this website for inspiration and community. Challenges are good, but insults should be left outside this domain. I must admit that I have wanted to start threads here but have been reluctant because I've been worried about the attacks that might happen; especially on one topic. Perhaps one day I'll introduce it.

People that have someone are lucky. Living in a small rural small town makes it tough. I'm looking, and looking..........................

After a few years of a dry spell I once again have a friend with benefits. I lucked out and met him. I enjoy our occassional get togethers, 2 to 6 times a month. I have a man who enjoys receiving oral as much as I enjoy giving it. I love it.

im 40 now but before about 3 years ago, i would do it random guys. I told my wife about my attraction to men and we both have a friend we met off a online site. He is bi and we meet with him all the time. it usually goes, he will stay one night with my wife and the next night with me. Then we will meet up and all three of us will have sex. When he comes over, its up to him who he wants to have sex with.

I have had this regular Bi couple i been messing with for a while now. When we are not ganging up on his wife, him and i share some quality time naked. I have no problem sucking his cum down my throat. Its a real turnon sucking his 9 in cock.

Many interesting points being made here. Having been honest about my sexual preferences since the beginning of my marriage, the "cheating" aspect doesn't enter the conversation. My connections with both males and females have been with people well-known to me so, in general, much safer emotionally and STD-wise. My male bi-pal of the last 8 years has been fun for both me and my wife. Even when she's "not in the mood", she likes watching us (which often changes her mood). She knows I'm much more romantically drawn to females and more friends with males - so my male friend wasn't as challenging to her as the female FWB. Since we've moved recently, I do miss my bi-guy and hope to meet someone to fill that role. I know it will take time and patience. Luckily, my sex life with my wife is good so, unlike many males, I'm not desperate for sex in general. I am very wary of NSA hook-ups in the MSM world as the prevalence of disease is high. Another married man who is honest with his wife, willing to get tested, and has some similar interests (hike, bike, strum some guitar for example) would be wonderful.

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Originally Posted by luvtocum

I have had this regular Bi couple i been messing with for a while now. When we are not ganging up on his wife, him and i share some quality time naked. I have no problem sucking his cum down my throat. Its a real turnon sucking his 9 in cock.

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Good for you!! I'd love to play with a couple.

Much prefer a single fwb. Had one for about a year; we've drifted apart; I'm looking for another, "getting a little" from time to time during the search.

Well this is the main reason I joined up with this site. I am in Michigan and looking for a partner to share the male side of my sexuality. So far I have met a few people, but haven't met up in the real world. I would love to find that one guy that we can get together and play on a regular basis. So anybody in Michigan under 50?

I used to have a "Regular Friend with benefits" when I live in PA. But Since I relocated back home to South Georgia 7 years ago things have been hit and miss at best. That is one of the reasons I joined up for this site the other is To share my thoughts and experiences with like minded people. Here in the bible belt everyone is very closed minded about any orientation except for straight.

friends with benefits never last.. the sad thing is when there is a real connection then over time emotions become involved.. and the very thing you wish for, an uncomplicated relationship, becomes complicated. As some one said hurt feeling all around after that. Just enjoy the short time you are with them..

Looking!!!

I am in Central Pa, and this area is area here is very extremely hard for someone my age, (late 40's) I used to have a older friend with benefits and worked out very nicely for several yrs till they moved away, and can not find another one. Not any good chatrooms anymore that I know of, maybe someone out there knows of some who can let me know of, but most m2m sites are loaded with game players and guys who are just totally "out" and the ones who are at least 1/2 way decent will not even respond back, and few sites around like this one for bi married, there is absolutely no members on this site within 75 miles of me!

I would love to have a regular "friends with benefits". Someone similar to me, married.

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Originally Posted by secret.bisexual

Hi everyone, I'm just asking this question to see if bi attached / married guys prefer to have a long-term 1-on-1 with another guy, or if they like to just meet up randomly.

Myself, I have a "special friend", another married guy that I meet up with regularly. It has been about 3 years now. It's been very hot and erotic. Also, there's the knowledge that because it's just the 2 of us, there's less potential for risks.

Any thoughts?

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I'm strictly a cocksucker and I too have a friend, married as I am, to whom I give blowjobs on an irregular basis. Occasionally, he'll bring a friend with him when we meet and I'll blow him also. Once, he brought two of his friends for me to suck off.

A regular bi married guy is the best and very hard to find but I keep looking.

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Originally Posted by secret.bisexual

Hi everyone, I'm just asking this question to see if bi attached / married guys prefer to have a long-term 1-on-1 with another guy, or if they like to just meet up randomly.

Myself, I have a "special friend", another married guy that I meet up with regularly. It has been about 3 years now. It's been very hot and erotic. Also, there's the knowledge that because it's just the 2 of us, there's less potential for risks.

Any thoughts?

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I would truly love to find a BI friend to play with long term. Safty is the first reason. Comfort is a very large reason for it. It would be nice to have a buddy where we were comfortably enough with one another thaqt from time to time one or the other would just say come here let me suck your cock and maybe play later. I would have to be totally comfortable to do that.

Yes I want a LTR with a play buddy!!!

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Originally Posted by secret.bisexual

Hi everyone, I'm just asking this question to see if bi attached / married guys prefer to have a long-term 1-on-1 with another guy, or if they like to just meet up randomly.

Myself, I have a "special friend", another married guy that I meet up with regularly. It has been about 3 years now. It's been very hot and erotic. Also, there's the knowledge that because it's just the 2 of us, there's less potential for risks.

Any thoughts?

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…no but one of my old ‘friend with benefits’…a feeder…is looking for a cocksucker on a regular basis in the dallas area if anyone is intersted…

I had one for many years, but a little over 2 years ago he died of a heart attack. I haven't had to good of luck finding a replacement. But I'm not giving up hope.
boats

I do not wish I did have a man friend near me so I can suck and he do me like a woman