Becoming Bisexual: Six On-going Conversations

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Originally Posted by ColorMePurple

I ditto that. Unless your partner is bi-, they WILL NOT understand. I have struggled with being bi- my whole life, and I still don't really understand it! When I feel attracted to a woman I think I must be str8, and when my heart leaps out of my chest at the sight of a beautiful guy, I just know I'm gay -it's a nightmare, and I would give anything to honestly be one way or the other -but I was born this way, it's who I am, and I must not pretend.
Perhaps the only solution is to only date men or women who are also bi (100% str8, 100% gay). Anyone who has had to struggle with this and pursues relationships with individuals who haven't and allows theirself to be perceived as a str8 or a gay, is setting theirself up and letting the rest of us down.

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I have read your response and many of the others to this article and I want to say I am with you.....I want to be able to have a deep emotional and PHYSICAL relationship with someone. I have struggled with bi feelings for 57 yrs, I love women and have worked with women most of my life and develped very close personal, EMOTIONAL relationships with several, but I find myself physicallly turned on by guys more than women. It would be so much easier to be one way or the other . I recently have been in a 5 yr. intimate monogamous relationship with a woman I have know for 30 yrs. (yet this nagging feeling of lost experience persisted) at the mention of my fleeting desire to investigate the other side the relationship ended, she did not understand.....this must mean my love for her was not true, in her opinion. It was true that there was this issue I had never addressed and felt at 5o -some yrs of age it was time to go there, however I was not prepared for the upheaval it caused in my present relationship. So be very careful when and to whom you come out.

:flag4: Heartless: Love what you wrote and your completely right about peoples attitudes.As to the Bi-bar, I think it's a great idea. Bi -people are truely left outwhen it comes to that aspect. No place for us to hand and meet other bi's. Also race or sexuality should never be an issue when it comes to someone's life as you , yourself said. As for myself I was raised that a man and a woman belond together and anything else was wrong. I felt for some time that I had to hide what I felt about women because I didn't think my family would accept me. I finally decided I'd wasted too much time finding out that ; that part of myself that loved being with a woman and a man . That was who I was. And that doesn't matter what anyone will think if they love you they will accept you for who you are. Thanks for the enlightening article "Heartless"undefinedcomment to article written by "Heartless"

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Originally Posted by gayle

Great article! It definitely covered all the interesting questions I've had along the way. I'm str8 but dating a bi male. I had so many questions in my mind before he came out to me and probably a zillion more after he came out to me. It took me the longest time to accept that he could be in a committed relationship with me and not pursuing others, whether they be male or female. We have a semi-monogamous relationship. (How's that for confusing?) We have the occasional mmf encounter together, so that's not "cheating" but if either of us pursued sex with anyone else without our partner there, it would be cheating.
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has been confused about bi and gay and had to figure out how to be in a relationship with someone who is bi. After awhile, it finally occurred to me that it really isn't different from dating someone who is str8, except that he happens to have had experiences with guys as well as girls.
Thanks for sharing your story!
Gayle

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If it helps you at all, I am a straight female married to a bi male. He came to the realization that he was bi a few years ago and finally got the courage to tell me three years ago. After my initial confusion and fear abated we worked out a scenerio where we would play together with other bi guys(safely of course) in a threesome. In this way he is able to satisfy his need to be with a man on occasion and I get to share it also. It has become not cheating but rather a way that we have enriched our sex life together. While the conventional world might frown upon what we do, it was a solution that has worked for us and allowed us both to get what we needed in order to remain happy and content within our marriage. I wish you both well and just wanted you to know that a bi male/ straight female relationship can work!
Ann

bisexual is natural...whats the big deal?...healthy respect for both sexes in all things is in harmony with the pulse of life...unlived lives leads to misery for all...get it out people...love for all...bi4ever...sixthickcut :bibounce:

I've been bisexual all of my life; my first truly erotic experience came when I was about five years old...was watching a show on T.V., with a young man and woman and the setting and acting definitely conjured up sexual feelings...there were no words or pictures in my mind, just the feeling but I remember it well...am definitely attracted to men and women and feel entirely free in these situations...how does it happen??? Body chemistry, perhaps, because I have a definite femininity about me, especially the way I walk and think. Does bi exist?? Absolutely, and it's magic!

hey
not sure if ive missed the point, and i respect that different people have different things that work for them.

But to me being bisexual has nothing to do with monogamy, just because i choose to sleep with a woman instead of a man still makes it cheating on my bf/lover monogamy is a completely different thing. Just because you like the opposite sex to your partner doesnt mean you can just do what ou please with them

Or does it?

nikilala
xx

Not unless thats what has been agreed Nikilala