"Gay Straight or Lying? Bisexuality Revisited," Revisited - Part 2

I read about this study at a very vulnerable time, and it definitely influenced me, probably in a harmful way. I had always questioned every aspect of my sexuality, and the very idea of sex made me terribly anxious. I was obsessed with the possibility that i could be gay, and in denial, and for some reason, i was complete TERRIFIED of it. I had all the symptoms of Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and every second of my social life was permeated by fear. I had admitted to myself that I had homosexual fantasies, but i was still holding onto the idea that i was not at all homosexual, and that all of these fantasies had logical explanations other than me being bi or gay - because i want to have sex with women not to PROVE anything but because women genuinely arouse me, gay porn does not turn me on, and I cannot get aroused solely from watching hot random guys. Then I realized that my gayness has a certain emotional component that porn cannot simulate, and that was a huge breakthrough, but i still identified solely as bicurious, and while i told almost EVERYONE THIS (i don't know why, because i wasn't comfortable with it) - i still had all of the same Homosexual Obessessive Compulsive Disorder symptoms. I even told some people that I was just completely gay, and yet I still had the same symptoms around them. Then I read this article and it totally shattered my identity because it was always my worst fear that I was maybe lying to myself, or that someone would accuse me of being a liar, even though I wasn't lying about anything, but here it said in one of the biggest newspapers YOU"RE LYING, SHAME ON YOU. So I tried in vain to fuck every male that moved, and these forced sexual experiences were humiliating and unsatisfying because the emotional component was not there. I've never had that emotional connection with a male that felt the same way towards me (not since i was a child), but i know that I am capable of achieving that and I would like to, I just haven't met the right guy. However, I have had these emotional experiences with women, and I enjoy sex with women, plain and simple. The sexual based OCD symptoms have definitely lessened since my homosexual experiences, but I have learned that just because some asshole from Harvard did a study that says you like males exclusively doesn't mean its true. Besides - technically I fall into the "confused straight male" category because I only like straight porn, but I have wild gay fantasies and I don't need some scientist's validation for them, and anyone who disagrees with this reasoning is judgemental and not worth being friends with anyway.

"oh god" i must be a real oddball cuzz eversinse i was really young i have always been turned on by both sexes ,,
i have dated men and women and love every one of them =
i am very happy with my boyfriend i am dating now he knows i am BI and he wants me to get a girl friend to just as long as she'll love and take care of me as he duzz ,, so i just don't get wear thou's doctors and people get this idea
that people are lying about liking both sexes cuzz i know i do and would love to have both at the same time if i could heh guess they are wrong heck id even go for a 4some or more for that mater :tongue::tongue::tongue:

but i am happy being 100% BISEXUAL and damn proud of it to....
:bipride::bipride::bipride::three::bipride::biprid e::bipride:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by allwet

There are many shades of grey between black and white.
I'm Bi, I'm one of them.

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hello..guy....im bi..from phlippines...how are yah
hope u too see

Ok folks....this is my first posting. Both my wife and I are bi-sexual. Now let me give you my own personal definition of bi-sexual.....for what its worth.

We are both deeply committed to eachother. We have no desire to swing or include other partners in our lives or sexual activities. Neither of us desires to be with anyone else, opposite sex or same sex. Cheating is cheating. Neither of us feels we are missing out on anything by not playing with the same sex.

Both of us have been in extremely loving and comitted relationships with same sex partners, as well as opposite sex, prior to us meeting. We have seriously dated same sex partners as well as opposite. To both of us it is not the meat suit that houses the heart, brain, and soul of a person, but just those things that one falls in love with in a person. To us, the gender means nothing. People should be free to love who they fall in love with, regardless of gender, race, etc......

I truly believe that the majority of the population is afraid to feel this freedom based on the societal rules placed upon the by the MINORITY....the Straight Heterosexuals and the Straight Gays.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chucky5150

To both of us it is not the meat suit that houses the heart, brain, and soul of a person, but just those things that one falls in love with in a person. To us, the gender means nothing. People should be free to love who they fall in love with, regardless of gender, race, etc......

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well said...my girlfriend and I are both bisexuals (both female) and we are in committed relationships to each other. My gf never had male partner and she is my first girlfriend and I have fallen deeply in love that I would love to marry her (don't tell her that yet). I think some also confuse act of sex with sexuality, any virgin can be bi, gay, lesbian, hetero etc...they don't have to have sex to know what their sexuality is...I am glad I never read such stories before coming out or when i was trying to come out after coming out to myself...it would have made it very complicated and difficult. I am glad I was welcomed by gays and lesbians as well as my family...these stories will really closet bisexuals...

I'm definitely bi. No confusion. No lies. I'm probably a K-2, but sometimes I feel like a K-3...;)

ERRR!!!!

I am so sick of Gay people dismissing my Bisexuality!!! For that reason, all my friends are STRAIGHT and BI with the exception of one.

I just makes me want to Yell...I have been questioned countless times, had numerous Gay men tell me I was just going through a phase, etc, since I was 15 years old. I am now in my 30s and I am still Bisexual!

I'm at the point where I want the B in GLBTIA taken out. So fucking tired of being lumped into this Subculture where Sexuality engenders Ethnicity and this absurd sense of Minority Discrimination and Leftist Politics....I'm not a part of it, never was, never will be.

Gays can have their little closed minded world, retreat to the Sexuality specific Social Centers and go jump off the same bridge at once for all I care.

I'm done with it and ever trying to come to terms with being a part of that culture and population!

Yes, I am an angry man...so what! :soapbox: Ha Ha Ha!

Nobody can decide about our inner selves for ouselves. I have read quite a lot about Bailey's experiment over the pat few years and I find it totally appaling. It reflects some biased people's mindset. It's as if someone told me I'm not left-handed, despite the obivous truth.
Sexual attraction cannot be measured at one setting, using very short video clips, with bodies shown that may not appeal to anyone. Personally, I feel a femme inside and my erection on men comes in only in special circumstances, when I am, for example, carressed, touched and when I see masculine guys wearing sexy clothes. But even then it's physically hardly pronounced. My reaction on female bodies would be more visible, but this doesn't make me any less bisexual than I am :flag2:
Attractions manifest themselves in different ways: I'd like sexual intimacy with a guy I'm emotionally and intelligently attracted to.

hi everyone, new to the site, and well bisexuality. i find this thread so interesting!! and thank everyone for sharing their stories and thoughts!!! I am 24 years old and have liked men and men only. recently i have been attracted to a female friend of mine. Although this is very confusing to me, i feel like it is natrual. it is not a struggle for me to express my feelings to her, or in front of our mutual friends! I still find men attractive but she is the only woman!! wondering if this has ever happened to any other bi sexual people out there!!!!?

Well! I lived in nudist clubs for 11 years and although I sometimes liked CD and some other harmless whatnot, after a few years, I started noticing that some guys had nice dicks and wow!
On more than one occasion, my wife and I were offered sexual liasions with other couples. I was flattered but my wife was insulted.
One night however.... I was DJ'ing a party and there was a couple parked next to us that were totally inebriated. I was stone cold sober, having worked all night. Long story short, they ended up in our RV, where all kinds of debauchery ensued. While the gentleman present was impaling my wife, I decided to test the waters of bisexuality. I used my tongue to lubricate his penis as it slid in and out of her vagina.
This confirmed my bisexuality to me. I didn't like the hair, I remember that! I enjoyed it immensely as did my wife. We both cemented the fact that we were both bisexual and we kissed on it.
I am proud and not shy to be bisexual, because that is what I am, but it could get you killed in our present society,including my dad! So, still in the closet!

I think that Mr. Bailey does not know what he is talking about because he can't prove what people feel. I think he making some noise so he can write another book so he can get a few more bucks. He can't tell me how I feel. I have been attracted by both Men & Women for a long time. I just have'nt always acted on it because I have'ent be able to find a Bi-Sexual yet. I usualy hook up with str8 Women like I am at this time.

“What troubles me is Bailey's implicit assumption that he can answer this very personal matter for other people.

That's a very telling statement and what is even more troubling is apparently the good "Doctor Bailey, former head of Psychology" doesn't recognize the codependency of his assumptions!!!