Shame

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Originally Posted by bob onit

Why am I ashamed that I like to give blowjobs

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Shame is an emotion that you have to deal with. I remember my first time, I went home and thought about what I had just done. I had sucked another man's penis and let him cum in my mouth and had swallowed it. A million and one things run through your mind at those moments, but later that evening, I thought.. what's the harm? I wasn't coerced, it was m choice, and more importantly, we both enjoyed it. So much so, I went back the next day for more on my own.

That next day, I let him fuck me. I came so hard during that encounter! Again, as I rode home on my bike with his cum leaking out of me, I thought, OMG, everyone is going to know. But no one was the wiser. I didn't walk or talk any differently. Nothing had changed except that I had found a new way of experiencing and giving pleasure.

Bottom line... there is no shame unless you make it shameful to yourself. Otherwise it's just really good sex!

I think the distinction between shame and guilt is important. No one should feel shame for their sexual desire, or for who they choose to have sex with, or what kind of sex they have as long as both are consenting adults.
Where it gets more complicated is when you want to suck cock but are in a monogamous relationship with someone who would not be accepting. Then sucking cock outside of the relationship becomes a reason to feel guilt. My way of dealing with that guilt has been by not hooking up with men to suck their cocks, despite my strong desire to do it.

Interesting subject. My first time was with a couple friends that had done it for the first time the night before. The first thing that was said was "you can't tell anyone else". After that we had a really great time sucking each other in different positions. I pretty much immediately knew I loved the feeling of a cock in my mouth, that contrast between velvety soft and rock hard, the smell, the taste. Unfortunately it was a one time thing. I knew I wanted more but there was always the holding back of not wanting to seem to like it too much. After working through some awkwardness I was able to get to what I now know was a feeder/FWB relationship with one of the guys. It worked out great, he loved having his cock sucked and I loved sucking it. When he ended it I thought that was the end of sucking cock. I had a girlfriend and enjoyed sex with her.

I didn't know how to approach a guy to see if he was interested in having his cock sucked, but coming out of a XXX theater a guy asked if I was interested in fooling around. My automatic thought was no, but then after thinking about it for a minute I said yes. It turned out to be a one time thing with him but opened me up to the realization that I enjoyed sucking cock and it wasn't just a thing with my buddy. There was still the thought that I can't tell anyone, but now I had the desire to find a cock to suck. Not long after that I discovered the arcades but the hole in the wall confused me, why would some guy want to watch me jack off? (I'm really na?ve) It didn't take long and I discovered what they were for. Part of me thought it was great, I could find a cock to suck whenever I wanted, part of me wanted to find a FWB and have a more relaxed time. But the fact that the gloryhole was anonymous was really appealing, I was still worried someone would find out. I had a several girlfriends through this time and enjoyed the M/F sex. With AIDS the arcade booths closed or changed, attitudes changed and I got married and again thought sucking cock would be a thing of the past.

Then came the internet. M/M porn never really did anything for me, but I found the gay/bi chat rooms and found people like me. That I could talk to and understood me and I understood them. Then I found guy with similar interests to meet up with. It doesn't happen often, if I don't think there's a potential for a FWB relationship I don't bother. Most have been one time things but I'm still open to the idea of a FWB.

I think the difference in my thoughts now is fear and shame have been replaced with It's my personal business.

DO NOT BE ASHAMED! i know that it's easy to say and much harder to do, but when I accepted that I'm bi, that it's not my fault that I am what I am, life really got easier.
I'm a very masculine dude, no one suspects that I love to suck cock! I would love to let the world know, but after so many years of building a life as a straight guy, it would really cause more problems than it would solve.
I just wish that I had understood and accepted it in my early 20s instead of my 40s!
You haven't done anything wrong and you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Never be ashamed of what you do xxxx

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Originally Posted by stephmtl

its a weird mix of shame and being turned on by the taboo aspect of it for me.

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I feel the same and I like that mix. It's a turn on to be naughty and kinky and slutty. I attach all those things to the idea of pleasuring another man's cock. Submissiveness is another word that applies to my desires. I know not everyone feels that same way, but it's what works for me.