To Come Out or Not to Come Out as Bisexual?

Believe me, you need to be true to yourself. I had bi feelings all my life and in between marriages (2) and other serious relationships, I would experiment with males. Once in a serious relationship with a female, I would remain monogamous and true to her, not revealing any of my bi feelings. Finally, after many failed relationships, I am with a bi woman that totally understands me and it is such a relief. We swing with other couples and an occasional bi single with no guilt or regrets. It is wonderful!
R

Sounds to me like you have now found someone who you can share you desires with...lucky guy!

I see it as being VERY important to be out as a bisexual male.

You can be out as a bisexual male and it's not a big deal at all.

I prefer the term queer since it encompasses all sexuality that isn't vanilla heterosexuality and genders that aren't "man" and "woman".

I view being out as a queer man as a good thing and I am out to my family/friends, doctor, and I have been out to bosses and co-workers and it's not a big deal at all.

Also I'm out to whoever I date or get into a relationship with, and again it's not a big deal.

Love the article.well my story is i am a married man of 14 yrs and i have been hiding my secret for all my life. It has affected my life in so many ways and i am finding it really difficult to hide it any longer from my wife. I have never been with an other man but i am finding it really hard to stop myself from thinking about it.
I know your probably thinking what the hell am i doing but i am so afraid of loosing everything i cant bear to tell my wife as i know what would happen. It has had an effect on my marriage and its struggling at the moment but i know deep down its down to my sexuality that has it the way it is. can i go on like this? i mean i have hid it all my life why tell her now or do i risk it all and hope for the best. I am so confused myself i just don't know anymore.so the reason i am replying to this add is to come out or not as bisexual is realy every body has an individual reason and i think do what your heart tells you to do and when i find out i will let you know ......

I've indentified myself as bisexual for about 10 years now. I have certain friends that know and other friends who don't. It's been easier for me to deal with since I've been in a long-term monogamous relationship with a woman and I've never "dated" a man. Though I like to play around sexually with a man from time to time I've never had a desire to have a monogamous relationship with one. My wife was pretty much the same way; she experimented with other girls and enjoyed it, but never wanted to pursue a monogamous relationship with a woman.

If anything these feelings made it harder for me to understand that I was bisexual. I felt that to truly be bisexual, I had to have an equal attraction to both sexes romantically and sexually. I thought I might be gay but the physical attraction to women was way too strong.

I have a lot of gay and straight friends and gay friends that will occassionally get drunk and have sex with someone of the opposite sex. I don't know many bisexual people. My gay friends are supportive and understanding but most of my straight friends don't know I'm bisexual.

I identify myself as bisexual more in terms of sensibility than sexuality. My tastes and humor are more "gay" you could say. I don't feel the urgent need to label myself as bisexual because it's obvious.

I thought the artical was interesting indeed. For all of my 30 year marriage I could never reveal that I had participated in a Bi experiance(s) before we married. My Ex would have had a royal Fit, and I would have never heard the end of the ridicule, nor would I have been allowed to share the marriage bed again. That's how bad his Homophobia is...even today.
He never knew that I was Bi, altho he knew that for "Some strange reason" women seemed attracted to me. I usually had to play it off with something flippant, or witty.

Now that I am not with the Ex, I can be free to be Me, and I like it that way. And No, no one else needs to know of my personal life, likes, or desires. The members of my lifestyle group knows that I am "Selectively Bi" and this is fine with them.
Its a marvelous feeling to be able to be ones self after having to be squelched all of those years.
Mnt Kat

That is a good article....

I came out a couple of months ago...FINALLY!! I was in Jr High when I first felt those "goofy feelings" towards females but didnt put two and two together....I already had feelings for men....

Well I came out and world war 3 came to the household...my whole family denied it and they still deny it....they said that stuff is gross its nasty and I dont wanna hear it!!

If I ever got with a girl...Id be banned from any event my family does...whether its a holiday thing or whatever else we do....

I have went out with one girl and that was when it was total war and turmoil in my life....and I was struggling with my sexuality and coming out without feeling like crap!!

I am now comfortable with it...I have dated many men and they all turned out to be jerks....I never got any satisfaction from them and I am jaded....

I am at the point where I am single...I want to go out with a woman and date a woman but I am battling myself.....If I go out with a woman there will be lots of problems at home....

I dont even want to date a man right now.....

A very well thought out article. I liked that you realize and expressed that 'coming out' is such an individual issue. Of course there is no one best path that will work for all of us - and it's foolish to think that there is.

I also liked that you point out that it is important that people do 'come out' in order to begin to shift the social conscience regarding what is normal human sexuality.

In my own case I follow the 'need to know' path. I don't discuss any personal sexual issues with co-workers, casual acquaintances or family - so they don't need to know that I'm bisexual. I am forth coming to my wife and close friends. I feel that for me to be anything less than honest with those closest to me is both unfair to them and damaging to me.

I believe that my words and opinions expressed to others will in some small way add to the evolving acceptance of glbt human beings. When I don't agree with bigoted anti GLBT opinion, I believe it goes toward changing that opinion . Change comes slowly to societies. Big changes are usually generational in coming. Take for example the civil rights movement here in America; when I was growing up in the 50's and 60's that was all new and radical thinking. Now as I write this we are close to the possibility of electing Barack Obama as president. I guess I think it will be something similar regarding acceptance of the glbt population. And just like with the many non-minority citizens hoping for Mr. Obama's success (raises hand!), so too as more people do see that it's safe and normal to be bisexual others will begin to accept that. It just will take some time.

The one issue I do feel strongly about in regards to 'coming out' is the manner in which it is done. I believe that 'in your face' radicalism does more harm than good to our cause (e.g. Martin Luther King Jr. or Malcom X). The vast majority of the GLBT community are just average citizens trying to live and let live - it is they who will change how America views us. IMHO those in the gay community who stage vulgar parades and demonstrations do nothing to persuade Mr. and Ms. American that perhaps those gay people are ok after all - they in fact do just the opposite and intensify the polarization.

Peace to all

Although the article does touch upon/allude to this, I wanted to post that accepting a bi identify after an exclusively gay one has its own set of issues: "You're 'going straight' now?", "You're trying to prove something!" ... the list goes on.
Really glad I found a site where folks would get that.

good article

Personally, I found it one of those things where I had to 'come out' to myself, as such, first. Once I did that, I started coming out to others, but if was a gradual process, mostly based on the other parties having the balls to ask first. I still mostly use this rule of thumb. If the other person should ask and present the apparent need or desire to know one way or the other, then I break-the-ice with a gentle quip like "why, are you interested?". This helps filter out the sensible people from the queer bashers, as the sensible people laugh it off and if they are really that concerned I then tell them; where as if they're a trouble-maker then the fronting them out often unnerves them enough to lose interest.

But essentially, I only come-out to someone who actively asks first. Otherwise, I honestly don't see any gain from effectually lumbering them with such personal information that they were probably more blissfully ignorant of.

One regret, if any, about the whole coming out situ was that I didn't come out to my parents a lot sooner than I did. Or more precisely, than my 'friend' did for me. Being outed by a third party, quite round-about unintentionally (the details are somewhat complicated to go into), wasn't nice, and caused some initial agro over trust issues and such for a while between myself and my father. My father, thanks to my mother's far more level head and side-ways way of tackling things, soon 'got over it', as such, and all was forgiven. The fact that my parents always seemed to already know, even long before I did, in that wonderfully divine way parents do, coupled with my parents beautifully accepting and general open mindedness, did help a lot. And for this I am eternally fortunate and thankful.
But I go on a bit. The moral of this is that if there's anyone you 'should' make a point of coming out to, I feel it is your parents, before someone else does it for you. Often, they already knew anyway before you did.

Anyone else, only should they show genuine interest in wanting to know. And then only if you know them to be sensible enough to still accept you for being the same you you were all that time up until their knowing. Any otherwise, it's none of their god-damn business who you choose to share your bed with, just as much as it isn't any of your's who they choose themselves.

Perhaps it's just luck that of where and/or when I was born and live that has allowed me to have such a matter-o-fact, take-it-or-leave-it attitude. If that's the case, then I thank Good Lady Luck for granting me with such. But this way of tackling the coming out issue has served me well insofar, and I am perfectly at peace with myself and happy with my life. I hope that maybe this has helped others who should read my comments.:impleased

I don't think it's fair when my sexuality would be such a big deal that it would significantly change a situation. If that's the case, I look for ways to come out so that I feel balance. I don't like to have to "conceal" a part of myself just to keep up the status quo of everyday situations.

There are plenty of times when sexual orientation is not an issue at all, and then, who cares if people know. But if things would be noticeably different if people knew I was bi, then I want to come out, because then I feel peace within myself.

Papelucho

A simple comment......

Why do we, either as gay, lesbian, bisexual, and/or transgendered people, do we feel the need to "come out", as though we are hidden somewhere? Supposed "heterosexual" people don't announce to the world "we are attracted to only those of the opposite sex and we're letting you all know!"

Geeeesh! (...slightly tongue in cheek)....can't we all just get along?

:2cents:

I do not carry a sign on my forehead that says what my political philosophy might be. Nor, my religious preference, my sexual preference, etc. etc. you get the idea. But, if asked, I will answer truthfully to any inquiries about those things. I am also willing to discuss them in depth.

The same goes for my sexual orientation/preference. If asked, I tell. Want to discuss it, I will. BTW. How about being omnisexual. I think that describes me much better than bisexual.

:three: I am not sure sure if I understand what this all means ? I mean I find it is hard enough feel comfortable in either a gay or hetro world when I know I am in the middle, I like it there ,I know who I am and I am at piece with that. I feel just as shund from the gay community as the normal or straight community, that seems just the way it is and has allways been. I just do not see any point in announcing my sexuality to the world , is that wrong ? am I suppose to go back to feeling bad about myself for being attracted to both male and female just because I like to keep my presonal life private ? or am i just missing something here.

[QUOTE=kinsey2;68614]I've never met a woman that wants two men at the same time. After a while of not being trusted when dating women, thus cycing back...their not trusting makes me go have 'fun' somewhere else, it just seems like most women want just one guy, but alot of guys want more than one woman. SO strange!!

Maybe you are looking in the wrong places.

There is a long history in most cultures of revering the penis and where and how it should be used, and the waste of the "seed of life". Many of our taboos are generated from this. This is seen throughout history.

I wish I could remember what study I got this from you might be interested.

I think blurting out "I'm bisexual" to a random cashier is a little unnessisary. Lol. I agree with the rest of it though. In one way I feel I need to keep it hush from certain relatives. I don't see the need to discuss it with them either right now really.

I have just come out as a bisexual man. Only to my family for now but in time intend to let the world know about my orientation. For years I tried to deny my attractions and hoped my feelings would go away but I finally accepted this is how I am. I really like this article as it touches on many of the things I have gone through in my path to personal acceptance. So, thank you.

i,m happy being me.:male::male::female::female::tong::flag2::wiggl e2::grouphug::cap::flag4::bipride:

I am still trying to grasp this concept of coming, Who benefits from me coming out?

This will not change my bisexuality, nor me as a whole, but it sure as hell create be more controversial, those who know, knows because they are in the same situation, or find accidentally.

The less crap I have to deal with, the simpler my life will be, I am not looking for acceptation, or affirmation from friends, or Family.

Just want to be the best me I can be, simple and non conspicuous.

Female/Bi curious

First of all I am not a good writer. I wanted to add to the conversation. I admire a lot of people in this room.

About me: East Indian family, from the Caribbean. My family do not accept gays. They do not even know or care what is BI/sexual.

There are 2 Bi incident that I could remember as I looked back: When I was (4yrs old) I was molested by my cousing (girl) who was older than me.
Second was with a girl who was my friend at 9yrs old, just playing around. No other incident or relationship with a girl/woman after.

I have always had dreams of a woman being with me. Some times I dream of a handsome guy. I have never been confused because I did not see it as a problem in my life. I got married and have kids and still being married at the moment. I am very open with my life. My kids knows that I like the woman body and if I ever divorce I would settled down with a woman. My husband knows that at any moment I can have a woman friend. He is the one who told me that I am Bi. Growing up I never knew that there was a name for it.

Coming back to my family in the Caribbean I told my mom one time visiting that I am gay-just to see what she would say. She nearly fainted. I meant to let her know that the world is changing and that one day I could take a woman to her and she will have to accept her. I loved the look on her face.lol.
My husband had a gay Aunt and all the family (white Americans in the US) did not like her. I forced him to invite her to all our family get together at our house. He finally accepted her and became her good friend.

I believe that inside of each person we can change ignorance in this world. I do not believe that because I was molested at 4yrs that I am Bi. I have no answer for that. If someone asked me if I am Bi I will say yes, if they want a reason I will tell them why also. I dont believe that I should have to tell anyone because it is not their business, but if you do want to tell, good for you. I belive that I have not yet found that right woman, maybe I will never find her, but I love all gays and Bi in the world.;)

Hats off to all who makes a difference in this world.
Love all colors.

I was so totaly "confused" for many years. I figured I was gay, but girls would excite me also. I can't believe it took me so long to realize that I was Bi! How simple that was to realize. I was near 50 when one day it hit me "you are bi"! I can't believe the relief that came over me. It was such an awful experience to me before. I am married and love my wife dearly but I still found myself enchanted when I saw a beautiful man somewhere. I was so confused and felt so guilty for many years in my marriage. Now I know that I am bi and I feel so different. I wish I had the courage to let my wife know...maybe she does and won't talk about it. I am so afraid to hurt her by talking to her about it so I haven't and probably never will unless I get caught with another man someday. I hope that never happens. Yes, the guilt is still there when I do make a contact, but I can't live on "one side", I have tried and it's very painful to me. I don't think the man upstairs will send me to hell for this feeling or my actions. I believe he makes everyone on the planet and he doesn't make mistakes, so I feel I will be forgiven and that's how I now live my life. I admire everyone who is "out" or "in", they are facing the same thing(s) we do and it's their business where they want to be. God bless us all:flag3:

i believe, it is easier to come out and tell your family and friends, because you are still the same person, nothing has changed bout you, accept your sexuality and if people dont take it the right way, well hey they arnt worthi= knowing.
i still havent come out to my parent yet, because im scared, but if have learnt something, your friends are always gonna be their to support you no matter what happen.:)
gd luck babe x

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Originally Posted by samantha x

i believe, it is easier to come out and tell your family and friends, because you are still the same person, nothing has changed bout you, accept your sexuality and if people dont take it the right way, well hey they arnt worthi= knowing.
i still havent come out to my parent yet, because im scared, but if have learnt something, your friends are always gonna be their to support you no matter what happen.:)
gd luck babe x

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I agree friends are way more supportive than family. I still have family members that refuse to talk to me because of my sexuality, but I haven't lost one friend.

.. Who says "blood is thicker than water."

I just came out to my whole family (at least all those who live in the country). It was after everyone was done opening Xmass gifts, I was crying like crazy for some reason and taking a puff of marijuana between sentances. I finally said I'm bisexual and they all hugged me and said "is that all?" I went to the bathroom to vomit from sheer nervesouness; at my return I found my family gathered again opening a bottle of champagne. They had a toast of champagne ( me with my marijuana) to me for my courage to come out. I was more shocked at how well they took it than they were of the news. They have had questions in the few days since and while it hasn't been as festive to it anymore I know my family loves me and are going to let me enjoy being myself.

Intresting question my brother asked was wether he can call me a fag (playfully) still- I told him I'd get back to him on it. The rest unplesantly dealt with my poor health and if any of my doctors knew(not yet). I'll tell my GI soon since I have questions about it myself about my sexuality affects my health( in my case it happens to actually be important but won't go into it today).
Well wanted to share that with everyone. :bipride:

i am bisexual for almost 4 years...and only 2 persons know.
my ex girlfriend and by best friend.
i don't think i would ever have the courage to admit to my family or my friends.
i am afraid of rejection.

I would never tell my mum and dad or anyone else in my family. Luckily I live in a city away from where my immediate family lives so I'm more or less free (I'm out to all friends and work colleagues) and live in quite a liberal household with another Bi guy and a Lesbian so free to have my BF/GF over for tea and bumpy cuddles.

The pride bracelets and stuff come off when visiting/being visited by family though. We have a pact in the house that when family is visiting any of us we don't talk about gay stuff. It kinda feels wrong but at the moment I couldn't bring myself to say anything :).

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Originally Posted by MrsQuagmire

i am bisexual for almost 4 years...and only 2 persons know.
my ex girlfriend and by best friend.
i don't think i would ever have the courage to admit to my family or my friends.
i am afraid of rejection.

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Me too. Only my girlfriend and a few others know because they understand. I want to experiment some more but I'm kind of too nervous and don't know how to go about it. Maybe i'll go to a gay club but explaining that to my g/f would be strange. She'd wanna go with me so she could find a female, but for me trying to find some guy infront of her seems awkward.

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Originally Posted by Apleasureseeker

What are you saying when you come our as bisexual? First thing, the one that bothers everyone, straight & gay: "I want sex with a lot of partners." I mean, bisexual, you gotta have at least two, right? Second thing: "I don't want to commit to anyone." You said you NEED a man and a woman, so when you're with either one, you're missing the other. Third thing:"I like or need gay sex, but I'm not gay." So you're willing to play in the relative safety & marginal acceptance that gays have fought for, but without even a tip of the hat to their lifelong sacrifice. Fourth: "I want gay sex, but not with gay people." Isn't that the assumption? How many girls are 99% queer, fucking & relating only to women, but claiming I'm bi, not gay, because lesbians all have bad haircuts? Well, you get the idea.

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When I come out as bisexual, it only means that I am attracted to both sexes. It does NOT mean that I NEED a man AND a woman and certainly not at the same time as I am monogamous. Your third and fourth points were pretty similar. No, I do not NEED gay sex either. My bisexuality means that though I am attracted to both sexes I only love one person and am not as flippant as you might think. However, after a break up, I myself do not know whether my next love will be a man or a woman. For me, it's not only about the physical pleasures.

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Originally Posted by vertigo_balance

I was in the military so don't ask, don't tell ran my life for a very long time. I "blended" got married (though I actually don't advocate marriage unless you have kids) got out of the military and continued to work for the government I am out to friends and some coworkers but it is still easier to not "rub their noses in it" to keep my job and support my expanded (now we have a girlfriend) family. I hope that when I retire I can plaster "bi" stickers to my car and maybe rub some noses in it but for right now there is no way.

:three:

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I strongly agree with you. Why wake a sleeping dog?

I'm still new to this site but I most say this is a brilliant article. As you have stated there is more acceptence now towards same sex relationships then in past. I fully agre with you. In the early eighties as a bisexual teenager who was brought up in a christian conservative household I know how bad we were treated during that time period. But before the general public found out that Rock Hudson died of aids the acceptance of bisexuality at leat in the part of pa. I lived in was becoming more than tolerable amongst others my age and the Twenty-something community. While Rock Hudson's aids related death exposed the public to the fact that aids just wasn't something that was just happening to Gays and Bisexuals without money, It also divided the acceptence of the bisexual in the part of Pa. I lived in.

I state this because deaspite the leaps and bounds that has been made for those of us with alternative sexual needs it only take one controversial incident to change said perception. So From where I stand as someone in my earlier forties who has known he is bisexual since about the age of 11 the lack of acceptence from the straight and gay community is devastating. I believe as a human being and a bisexual male that promoting understading of someones beliefs and sociopschological makeup is the only to continue to make head way in this fight for acceptance. Despite knowing one has to be vigilant in this pursuit the question remains is there ever such a thing as too much acceptance if It only takes one incident to cause a backlash.

Here's a qoute from Bob Dylan: "I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom." It's A comment I throughly agree with because in this eco-political climate in which we live to many have forgotten this statement. I belive we live in a socity where public opinon can and will change about every thirty seconds due to the rapid information that is increasingly arriving at the end of our fingertips.

Your article is brilliant and herioc because in your writing you show an understanding of freedoms responsabilties. Keep the writing up and continue to stand up for your personal beliefs. I believe this community needs more individuals like you.

i came out to my therapist last weekend, first time i have said "i am bisexual" face to face with anyone, wow it was a relief but now all these thoughts...what now ? should I tell my wife....have told 2 friends but not face to face, over the internet and phone. they were very supportive...saying it out loud though was a relief, weird, confusing, therapeutic, etc.....let's see what happens from here

I have several problems with coming out.
1.) I don’t know where I am coming out from. I am married and wife will never admit to being bi or at least her previous experiences. Hence those dosents allow her to enjoy her feelings. We have talked at length about me being ok with her bi feelings. I actually know the lady she was with and it happened between her divorce and our marriage. We have been married 8 years but she gets almost angry at my talking about it so we avoid the subject.
2.) I am not sure if I am bi although I have to be greatly curious. My sexual identity is not really known to me. We have 2 kids from previous marriages so we know neither of us is gay but do I have bi tendencies. I have wondered how it would be to be like a female and experience a guy. In other words; my wife gives oral to me so I would love to be in her position and give oral to a guy.
Here is where both of our sexuality gets blurred. We both came from almost abusive sexual marriages prior to ours. My then wife informed me; that 4.75 and thin just wasn’t cutting it sexually and we stayed married 6 years and had one child. She had some affairs and then it was time for her to move on. She cared little about foreplay and needed the big one for her orgasm. My now wife’s ex was well endowed and thought all he needed to do was slam it home. He thought oral sex on a female was dirty and hence she was left high and dry. We met we dated actually for 3 months before we tested the bedroom due to our insecurities. Wow! We both enjoyed it. We talked about our past and I love oral and lots of foreplay. Size was not an issue to her. She is a squirter and multi and we are still very pleased. Some where in the fun I became her g/f a few times and we role played that and it was so awesome. I had come from a marriage where an orgasm was rare if any to a marriage where my wife soaks the bed as we began to share more. She loved my feminine side and soon I was wearing panties and that was a plus and as we began to accept my feminine side more the fun got even better. We did talk about a continual role playing of me being her g/f or bitch depending on her mood for a straight 4 year time frame and we both agreed we were having fun and why stop. What makes it work is for me it’s a complete role reversal. Out side the house I am a gym rat and firefighter and former navy seal. I am 6-0 and 212 but inside the home I’m all female sexually. I go from my job or gym in white Boyshorts by Hanes to red or yellow bikinis around the house and for our fun time. I have some pink hot bikinis of all styles. We have even changed the nomenclature of my penis to my over sized clit. She laughs and tells me clits belong in panties. We have even joked on phone or texted that morning, “So what you want tonight clit to clit”? Intercourse is rare we have a vibe for those stretching movements. We both prefer me being Lisa and oral and fingers and lots of foreplay. She then usually gets on top and slides along my clit and when she is ready to start squirting she raises up and I massage my clit against hers and that’s hot. I don’t have to be inside her to have orgasms anymore. We have ventured outside our box a few times with me Cumming in her and she getting on top and squatting over my face and I clean her up. She asked me once if I wanted another mans cum in her and me cleaning her up and I said I wasn’t sure.
I really think I would feel like a girlfriend watching her getting a real cock and now I only have a clit. (Damn I have never been so honest). She hasn’t asked again and I have had fantasies of this. I do enjoy watching well endowed men in the shower at the gym but I am not sure if that’s penis envy or my hidden feelings of bisexuality.
3.) We live in small town USA and even though our sex life is pretty hidden it would be unacceptable outside the house. We both have high profile jobs. There is only one person that really knows and that’s her 20 y/o daughter who husband is in Afghanistan and she is cool with it. She is even comical about it. “Mommy must want some tonight you’re in pink lacy ones”
Neither of us knows what we would come out to but we are pretty open and honest to each other so there may be more fun out there.
Any suggestions…sorry about the length of response.

undecided he he

undecided he he

someone said it best in a previous post, as long as you out to yourself the rest doesn't matter. Profound statement as it relates to self acceptance and ridding yourself of self loathing that leads to emotional upheaval. I am out to 2 friends and my therapist, wife is next to know as i just figured it out myself after all these years. :bigrin::flag4:

:flag4: well, we (I'm the woman) are both bisexual and it took us years to see it in ourselves. For me, even though I knew and would happily be accepting of anyone who said they were bisexual (incidentally I didn't meet any) it wasn't on my radar to think about! So 11 years of marriage and four kids later being bisexual isn't a secret but its not something that pops up in topic. So if anyone bothers to read my online profiles they will see it and if not they wont know. I wish I could 'come out' and enjoy that breath out and maybe have conversation but its a no :( its just not relevent, we know people but dont have close friends to tell.

...on the other hand my husband (and I agree with him) believes the kids (they know and the eldest is 11) time growing up might be difficult for them if 'everyone knows' and homophobia or be it biphobia exists and anything like that is worse for kids.

Well, I wish I were as confident as many of you seem to be. I told my husband 10 years ago, when we were just dating, that I was bi. He seemed okay with it, but I don't think he truly gets it. I care for him a great deal, but find after a significant amount of turmoil in our relationship, which resulted in his major mistreatment of me, I feel less inclined to share any more with him. With the exception of telling my husband, I have only come out to my sister, who was very supportive, and a couple of friends, also supportive. I guess I struggle with my strict religious upbringing and that keeps me from feeling I can be myself. Currently I feel more drawn to the female gender for emotional and sexual contentment, but because I am married and trying to live in a monogamous relationship, I just don't go there. I am seriously conflicted. I just don't know what to do.:(

I'm going through the journey of coming out as its an ongoing step. The only people that I won't tell are the guys at work because of their biphobic/homophobic views, as for the people that I've known my whole life some know and some don't. The ones that don't will eventually. I have it included in my profile on the various websites that I'm on. As for everyday life, I don't go around advertising that I'm bi but if someone asks me about my orientation I'll tell them or if they ask if I'm gay, I'll correct them. My mom knows but I'll tell the rest of my family the next time I visit them. I told my ex-wife when I realized that I was bi. That was one of the things that lead to our break-up. My current girlfriend knows I'm bi, she is too. My boyfriend also knows that I am, he's gay but bi-curious. I believe that you shouldn't have to hide anything or who you are from the people you love. If they can't accept it, things can get really difficult. As I tell more people I feel more and more free. "Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind."

Like most things bi- it depends I agree with an earlier post that said if your girl friend is insecure- it's not worth it. In my case I had the biggest crush on the guy who introduced me to my girl friend-her ex-boss whom she completely loathes now- imagine how I feel . I tread careully because I don't want to lose either of them. I must point out that the guy is not my lover- my girl knows her ex-boss and I love each other very much (just as friends) and that alone causes her pain. so when I speak to him. I' don't mention it to her-she really doesn't want know.
So I would say when it comes to coming out if you're a bi-guy take it on a case by case basis-LOL when I was in college I found out that if I said I was bi- most straight guys would think I was attracted to them -and if I wasn't their feelings would be hurt! so strange . When I said I was bi to most straight girls they would assume I wasn't interested in them (even if I was)- so so strange. To repeat what has already been said so wonderfully well else where on this thread the most important person to come out to is -yourself
stay sexy my friends!

I am not cumming out to anyone,I did say to my wife that I thought I may be Bi she said you can leave.So I said I was kidding,but I am kidding my self.I am Bi and I love it,today I had oral sex with someone same age as myself,never had an uncut cock.But I will be having it again on a regular basis as he said to me he said my exwife never sucked it & swallow she would Spit it out.So bring the cocks on my mouth is willinndle is the deepthroater:eek::2cents::tong::cool::rolleyes::ma le::bipride: