in one town i lived in we had a bi coffee shop and its was awsome, but alas now im in an area were you just cant be or least act anything but straight. But it does make it hard when both sides are pullin agaisnt the middle
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in one town i lived in we had a bi coffee shop and its was awsome, but alas now im in an area were you just cant be or least act anything but straight. But it does make it hard when both sides are pullin agaisnt the middle
I was so happy to see this article posted as I myself have had many experiences with bi-discrimination. Conditions may be different elsewhere, but where I live there is not a lot of support for bisexual people. I mean, we have a gay/lesbian dance club and a gay/lesbian news bulletin, and responses to those groups have been fairly positive. I've found however that being bi, I've been met with negativity from both sides- straight people haven't been accepting of my love of both genders, and a lot of gay/lesbian people have told me I'm in denial of being lesbian. And yes it is sometimes awkward participating in BGLT groups, but I would rather suck it up and ignore the negative comments of a few in favor of being around folks who, for the most part, are a lot more welcoming then the straight community. *shrug* Might be different for most folks, but that's my experience and opinion. :rolleyes:
"You're a fencesitter."
"You're just confused."
"You're just halfway to gay."
"You spread disease."
"You're just being trendy."
"Make up your mind."
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :yikes2: :I go into frenzied rage: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH :yikes2: :I sit and cry:
:flag3:
Hi all, I love this site, but some people think we are promiscuous just cause we're bi. My Profile probably didn't do much to change that, but I was being honest at least. I think most people are bi but for whatever reason can't deal with it, and I understand that, it's taken me years to finally accept the fact that I'm bi. I like both sexes, so what! "It's no hanging matter, it's no capital crime" Mick Jagger sang on "Stray Cat Blues" and he was exactly right, if it feels good for you it's probably ok, so sue me. (Great comments from EludedSunshine in Chicago earlier, she hit the nail on the head.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew
I have to disagree. My friend Kyle is homosexual, doesn't act it, doesn't dress in rainbows, He's himself and happy with who he is, and he's the most accepted gay man I know. My friend Wyatt told me once "yeah, I used to be homophobic, but when Kyle told me he was gay, it made me realize homosexuals are just like everyone else."
I think wearing it all over can help OR hinder.
Just joined the site 20 minutes ago.
Really enjoyed the article.
I do have a few points/observations I'd like to share.
1.According to Kinsey, most people are bi to some degree, & therefore, WE'RE the majority/mainstream!!! Perception is reality. Some of you may feel oppressed because you may PERCIEVE yourselves as the minorities, when in fact...There's a reason why you get "vibes" from people no matter where you go...
2.People will never accept your orientation because they haven't yet gotten around to accepting their own. Those who hate those who've done nothing to cause them any harm, really have a problem with their own orientation/color/gender, and are simply projecting their own self-hatred onto you. My personal experience is that the more honest they are with themselves, the more comfortable they are with you.
3.I've been very lucky in that I've only had one negative experience like the ones discussed in the article, but that was from a gay guy I used to sleep with who didn't want to, as he put it, "lose me". I've noticed that people comfortable w/ themselves ask me if I'm bi, while the uncomfortable ones assume I'm either gay or straight. Perhaps once you know yourself, you're far better able to "read" others vibes, etc. My whole family was like "Well, duh!!! You like big muscle guys and busty women. What else would you be?" I was like, "Well, you could've told me and saved me YEARS of anguish!" Actually, it turned out that my "anguish" had more to do with the fact that I wasn't attracted to anyone around me at the time, leaving me to feel asexual. Then, I discovered Europeans. YUM!!! Is it me, or is the whole Continent Bi-sexual?
4.As for those "guys" who want girl/girl action for their own benefit, I think it's time to read between the lines. Don't you get it? What those guys are really saying is, "Please, like me, make me feel good about myself because I'd feel like such a loser otherwise". They know that same-sex sex has a much more powerful energy to it than opposite-sex sex, and this makes them feel useless. They already use so many camouflages to compensate for their severe feelings of masculine inadequacy. That's simply one more.
5.They call you "slut" because the fantasize about your sex life, then become bitter when they realize that theirs will never be as interesting. Look at the first person in the room who'll use that word about you, and you'll see that I'm right on this one.
Love the site. Glad it's here. Can anyone recommend any bi clubs in Toronto, NYC, London or LA?
Thanks in advance.
Later.
Oh, and one last thing.
I've tended to notice that the "hotter" the person, the less likely anyone is to give a crap about their sexual orientation, esp. bi or gay. As my mom put it after she learned that study about gay men having the highest rates of test. in their systems, "This is why so many people have a problem with so many gay men. It's becuase most gay and bi people LOOK LIKE CRAP, don't take care of themselves, etc. My point is, different goups of people have different gifts from which the rest of society can used to be "shown the way", as it were. To my mind, LGBT folk were blessed with the extra hormones, etc., which some say makes them the most sexual people around(regardless of how much sex they actually have), but they tend to present themselves in such unflattering, unappealing ways that NO ONE wants to learn from them about how to be comfortable in one's own sexual skin, which, I believe is their collective gift to the world, teaching others how to be that comfortable, kinda like the way White rockers always seek out Blacks bluesmen in order to become more credible musicians."
At first, I was taken aback. Everytime she saw an unattractive gay man, she'd always say that he'd "be better off str8", pointing out his unlikelyhood to get laid, etc., whereas if str8, str8 women's standards are so low, that he still "had a shot". Anyway, she was right.
Example:
I used to worked at Colony Records, "in" the Brill Bldg. in NYC.
Most of the guys there assumed I was either gay or bi because guys kept coming back into my section...but never bought anything. Never mind all of the hot, exotic girls there, too. Anyway, I began to work out during my "tenure" there, and as I got more buff, the less uncomfortable they were as they began to as me all kinds of questions they've always wanted to ask...someone, anyone, which, in turn made them more comfortable w/ themselves. I like being a big, beefy Yoda. Others do not. Long story short: By becoming the best me I could be, I became someone from whom they all wanted to learn...and sometimes, be, and my sexuality was never again an issue...mainly because I was seen as sexy. Being 6'7" tall w/ really broad shoulders and a 50+" chest kinda helped, too.
Being anything-sexual without actually being sexy is like being a eunuch-with no harem to protect. we want to see sexy bi-sexuals. If
Ricky Martin or Mario Lopez(Aaaaaaaaaand there's the flop sweat...)
were to ever come out as bi, trust me, we'd gain a whole new, POSITIVE visability. Or as mom says, "If HOT same-sex couples tried to get married, the laws would change in their favor TOMORROW! It's bad enough to have ugly opposite-sex couples marrying and breeding..."
IT'S TIME TO BRING THE SEXY BACK TO BISEXUAL, PEOPLE!!!
CRAP, I forgot something else.
The main reason that I never get the "you're just confused" crap is because people know that I only sleep with people who are on the exact same spot on the KInsey scale as I am(Equally gay & srt8, which, I guess, accounts for the fact that I can build a house with my bare hands, then decorate the hell out of it!lol) and no one else. Yes, this represents a small number of the population, but, for me, it makes the finding of such a compatible person all the sweeter. I never sllep with gay men or straight women, or even other bi's of differing Kinsey spots because we don't share similar desires in similar amounts. For me, it always comes down to total compatibility. Yes, I'm really long-winded. Sorry about that.
The reason I looked for a site like this tonight was because of the very things mentioned in this article. I finally just got sick of biphobia from people (specifically my family and friends). I have a friend to talk about this with, who seems to understand, but she's straight and as kind as she is, it's really not the same. I'm really glad to have found somewhere to feel better about these subjects with, and even more thrilled to have read this article since it was like a confirmation that, indeed, I am not alone.
Thanks, Jon!
I've told everyone except my family. Both my parents are specificaly bi-phobic...they say they can understand homosexuality because its "like straight, just reversed". But apparently bisexuality is just a way of sleeping with everyone you can find and is just made up. This is why I had a hard time accepting that i was bi
Confession time. I admit to being one of those guys in college, who held a certain amount of animosity towards bi girls and lesbians for something as trivial and stupid as creating more competition. I wasn't good with ladies back then, so I blamed the bi's. Sorry.Quote:
Originally Posted by EludedSunshine
But, look at it this way. It proves that a lot of homo/biphobia comes from people who are closeted themselves.
(Yes, I'm lurking and I tried to leave before. Of course I came back in here... with curiosity of how it's been going 'sigh. :|)
I have gotten the "Bisexuals are just greedy" line, and boy did it make me mad, and of course I wanted to correct it. Turned out he was ignorant of bisexuality. I was suprised that this one said it, because he claimed he was gay. It's such a contradiction. Beleiving that gay orientation isn't a choice for gays, and yet saying "Aha! Look at that bisexual chooseing to like both.." WTF?... Logical? no.
I of course protest the gay hate that I surprisingly seem to just stumble across repeatidly in World of Warcraft. (If I played other online games, it might be there to. 'sigh' What a drag) I like to play the male sex primarily, and got called Faggot for some stupid reason now and then. Sometimes the chat will be like "Go suck cock, stupid fag." "What about your two daddies?" used negatively, not possitively for trade chat fighting. *eye roll*
At which I promtly state things like "YOU shut up. All of us are trying to relax here, and you #$% it up for everybody!"... "Could you please leave everyone else in peace?! GOD!", "Oh you're soooo proud... right..." they just go further like the trolls they are till, basically just about everyone has had it with them. I more than imagine, if I stated I was bisexual they would be stupid accordingly. "Oh so you like to sleep around with everyone? Wow!"
"OGM that's discusting... AIDS!"
"Is your dog ok after you entered it?" (People just assume you play your own sex.)
"See? Zanthis confessed that he just can't get satisfied." uhm no.
.... troll logic of theirs, you know how it is. I seem to get screaming urges to feed trolls sometimes.
Oh I see this crap all time and in WoW especially, but it's gotten better. But I'm so dissapointed in homosexuals who disown or hate use because we like both. There are lesbians who say that bi girls end up with men. You wanna know why? 1. they fell in love. Yeah 'Love' you know that thing that you're always trying to convince religious fanatics that your sexuality is about and not choice? Yes that thing. 2. Because a whole lot of lesbians hate us and don't want to associate with us. "If you hang around dykes you tend to meet dykes." - http://liliane.comicgenesis.comQuote:
Originally Posted by Lienda
And I think that it is equally hard to biguys and bigirls; bigirls are seen as being trendy, or whores or solely for feeding the fantasies or hetero couples or hetero men, or confused. And bi guys get to go with the same crap that gay men go through, plus the, "It's a stage", "You're really gay" "You're confused" crap and the worst in my mind. "Its okay for me (the girl) to be bi but I wouldn't like it if my guy were bi because men are bestial and gross and it spreads disease." Um, WTF? I know there are as many types of bisexuals as there are starts in the sky but common, we at least have to support each other.
I wish I had read this article when I was 17.
Verses and proseof Maria KarpinskayaFrom the "PILGRIMAGE TO HOLY PLACES"India "MEETING WITH THE MOUNTAIN"Here in the heart of IndiaThere is a sacred mountain Arunachala,The legends say that Shiva-God lives in the mountainOn a full moon I walked around Him from all the sides.I walked by hard and lengthy wayAnd saw my whole life as integralAnd wall of time was crumblingAnd the past lived here near to the presentAnd light of future was dissolved in it foreverMy soul heeded music of all timesAnd sang the song of life and glorified God:"God, youre so fineYou created this mountain and the valley,In which gave me mildness of night,And clarity of clear moon.Soul cries to the body to love youAnd the body is so obedient to meAnd it continuesIn the beautiful lines of the holy mountainAnd sanctity of my bodyCalls me to heights of senses.I go by timelessnessIn circle of four spacesAnd every spaceShows me new look of GodAnd I see myself in it.Here the thoughts like cloudsCapped the mountain top,I accepted them joyfully and without sorrowAnd the thoughts slid down the mountainsideThen slipped offAnd touched with valley of my heartThe warmth of the heart turned them in weightlessnessOn the sky had grown wonderful patterns of clouds,But suddenly they sawPale princess - my moonAnd played with her,Moon hid behind the cloudsAnd in the world suddenly spills ink,And the night descends veil for those,Who doesnt sleep and praises GoddessTalents and thieves singing songs for herThe poet takes the ink and writes a poems about loveAnd the thief takes the excess of propertyAnd eases my way.But suddenly the moon will playfully come out from behind the cloudsAnd the world will fill with white paintAnd holiness will reign on earthMy beauty, Goddess,Give me white paint of lightIll paint with it the peoples hearts.But need I also some red colour.I want to see smileIn the light of the moon - red,She promises me luckAnd agitates the blood.I want to kindle fire in your nightThe fire in the minds of people with smile of love.What else would you give me on the way?Do you propose the milk of your celestial cows?Thank you, I do not drink it.For me more pleasant Milky Way in heavens,But you hid it from my eyes.O beauty, how many stars you overshadowed with white light?I go by way of eternity around the circle And the mountain sends me kisses,And there are lights from kissing left.They move into some houses,Which called here temples,And Im entering into your kiss,My mountain, my God,And clean my body and touch youAnd fire tickles my palms.You are so greatAnd how gentle Your kissesOn the road of timeThe trees affably waving to me;Hello, treesI was waiting for you longDo you know about me?"Yes, we have all the knowledge of your heartWe remain peaceful.Peace is in you, O Mary "And I became the soul of the trees,They let me into their essence.And the trees have become smarterAnd the trees became animatedAnd we melted into each other,And my leaves told me "Hello"My clouds as thoughts of feelingsFell on the top of the mountainThe mountain smiled at me: "See you, child"At the end of the pathMeeting and parting mergedIn one mighty stream of life and light...And... LOVE reigned in the soul.Author: Maria Lilith Karpinskaya. 1995.Translation Of Maya Nikolaeva.