Re: Bi-sexuality in golden years
Quote:
Originally Posted by
12voltman59
To add to my previous post:
I had long felt this way about people of the same gender having intimate (sexual) relations----if you have a good, close friendship and you wished to share more than just the non-physical aspects of such a relationship--why not be able to be sexually intimate with each other?
But at the time I was coming of age---even though it was the tailend of all the days of "freelove" and all that----there was still a great deal of homophobia and the "way things are" at the time----if you have sex with someone of the same gender--no ifs, ands or buts about it---you were "gay."
That was one thing that held me back from trying to do things with other guys---and as I have said before in other posts----in my indirect exposure to the variety of "gay scenes" of the time---they all turned me off and kept me from doing anything "gay."
I did not feel I was a particularily good "straight" but I sure did not feel that there was any place for me in any of the gay scenes--and at that time--even though you knew of people who "walked both sides of the street" as being bisexual was often referred to----I had no idea how I was going to do that.
I think it's time we gave a big Shout-Out to the folks in the past who made it possible for our present level of freedom. We should all give respect to the gays who fought at Stonewall. To stand up to the police and say "we're not taking it anymore!" took guts. And we should thank all the folks who raised the banner of Gay Liberation, formed organizations, took abuse, and didn't quit. In an era when homosexuals were dismissed as weak-wristed poofs, those folks were tough and we owe them a lot.
Yeah, I understand what you said about searching for the right scene. I was an awful hippie--always too practical and never took enough drugs. The swinger thing seemed like a bunch of suburban dilettantes. Gays have a strong culture but there's no way I could ever identify with it. Wouldn't it be great if in 20 years there was strong, separate bisexual movement, not the accessory "B" currently found in all LGBT organizations?
Re: Bi-sexuality in golden years
Quote:
Originally Posted by
crazy_cat_lady
Are you kidding? you most certainly are not alone! Just search the personal ads sometime. There is hardly anyone under age 40! and almost all of them are men!
Most of the personal ads contain men that want a more personal relationship than sex.
I love my wife above sex. My bi-desires is a complement to my straight relationship with my wife.
It would be great for guys like me to find a safe sexual partner, not a gay partner.
I am not gay, nor I feel gay.
But you are right, ads is one way. That is the reason I joined this site, with the hope of finding a discrete male that want to share sex with me.
Re: Bi-sexuality in golden years
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Falling Leaves
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You. :)..I am new here...I have been looking for a site like this for a long time...my husband is bi-sexual, officially "came out" to me last year. I love him as both my best friend and my husband, we have been married 25+ years, but have known each other 34 years. I totally accept him for who he is. All the things I love about him are because he IS who he is!!
Thank you on behalf of all married bi-curious or bi men.
I really wish more women to have an open mind about bi-desires because that is a complement to their partner happiness.
If my wife had bi-desires and I was a regular straight guy, I am sure I would support her all the way. I would still love her. She would be happier and happy peaple will return love to you.
God Bless you!!
Re: Bi-sexuality in golden years
Quote:
Originally Posted by
richarddennis
Don't worry/obsess too much about living in the past.
Learn from the past, live for the day and plan for the future.
The best is truly yet to be, "if" you have a dream.
cause if ya got no dream, how ya gonna make a dream come true?
Hi, thanks for your reply.
But let me clarify something.
I am not living in the past. I told my wife and I joined this site is to start living my bi life. I know my wife still will not approve nor participate, but now that she knows I feel free of guilt to satisfy my bi curiosity.
I am moving along. Some day in the near future I will find a man that like me wants to experiment and enjoy sex bisexually.
Take care!
Re: Bi-sexuality in golden years
Each day continues to be a new discovery for us both!
I believe that we ALL can love more than one person at a time. Just because my husband may have a close relationship with another man doesn't mean he loves me any less, in fact, what we have learned through all this is that it has enhanced our relationship is every single way. We're closer now than ever before in our lives!!!
I feel it is a gift I have been given...in this wonderful man who is my friend, my husband, and gives all of himself to me..mind, body and soul, because I give him the freedom to be who he is, I wouldn't have it any other way!!!!
Thanks to all of you also for being here and sharing of yourself so honestly!!
Re: Bi-sexuality in golden years
Quote:
Originally Posted by pbvasc
One of the messages in my post "Bi-sexuality in golden years" is to avoid hurting your wife later in life.
I did the same thing, finally came out to my wife after over 25+ years of marriage and it was a most difficult and yet a most pressure releasing moment. She was hurt but not so much by the Bi-sexual realization but by the delay in telling her. From what I have seen here on other similar posts, this may be the more hurtful factor than just confessing ones desire for sex with the same gender. The good news, she has forgiven me for the delay in confession and still loves me even though she is now aware of my Bi-sexual side and desires. However, she has made it clear that though I would enjoy what I find regardless of whose pants I put my hands in, I shall not be putting them in any other than hers. I love my wife more than my sexual desires so I shall continue to 'not play bi' until such time that she should give the 'OK'.
Re: Bi-sexuality in golden years
Quote:
Originally Posted by
prefer_6
Quote:
Originally Posted by pbvasc
One of the messages in my post "Bi-sexuality in golden years" is to avoid hurting your wife later in life.
I did the same thing, finally came out to my wife after over 25+ years of marriage and it was a most difficult and yet a most pressure releasing moment. She was hurt but not so much by the Bi-sexual realization but by the delay in telling her. From what I have seen here on other similar posts, this may be the more hurtful factor than just confessing ones desire for sex with the same gender. The good news, she has forgiven me for the delay in confession and still loves me even though she is now aware of my Bi-sexual side and desires. However, she has made it clear that though I would enjoy what I find regardless of whose pants I put my hands in, I shall not be putting them in any other than hers. I love my wife more than my sexual desires so I shall continue to 'not play bi' until such time that she should give the 'OK'.
That is exactly what happened to me. She told me that I should have told her before we got married. She tells me that I have been a good husband and father and an excellent provider, but she is hurt for waiting so many years.
The first time I told her was 15 - 18 years ago, she expressed her feelings but never left me. She continued with me after that. This year I told her again and I was hoping to get some support but she has not changed her mind.
I love her more than my sexual desires but I feel I need to experience that part of my life (sometimes). I am still looking but 80% of my heart stay with my wife and stops me from realizing my fantasy.
Take care!
Re: Bi-sexuality in golden years
The closer I get to "The Golden Years" - the more they look like brass.
And some areas are looking a wee bit tarnished, too.
Doggie :doggie:
Re: Bi-sexuality in golden years
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Dogwood
The closer I get to "The Golden Years" - the more they look like brass.
And some areas are looking a wee bit tarnished, too.
Doggie :doggie:
I am in those "Golden Years". Very little gold, but much of it is still rewarding.
I get to invent my job, so most of the time, I do exactly what I want to do at work and occasional get to travel. I am going to Europe next month at no cost to me.
I watch my nephews play sports and grow to be fine young men.
I have a male partner that keeps me satisfied.
The shortness of time left to me is not a major issue because I have no major regrets. I am very content with slightly less than golden.
Besides, brass, even if a little tarnished feels golden compared to being on the bottom side of grass.
Re: Bi-sexuality in golden years
HornedupRam
I think that this discussion has happened to some degree on a previous thread. The fact that you knew about bisexuality in the 70's distinguishes you from some of the bisexuals who may be of the same generation as you. Many if not most bisexuals were not aware of the concept of bisexuality back then. I'm not stating that some bisexuals never were immersed as deeply as yourself in the gay community in the 70's but a lot were not. Just as Voltie has posted, many bisexuals were not attracted to the gay lifestyle of that era. You are not now but perhaps you were during that era? I'm sure that a lot of bisexual men never read the Advocate then and probably not a lot read it now. You are correct quite possibly some bisexual men may not have wanted to have same sex experiences as much as you in the 70's. The reasons may be varied as to why they were not "ready" or even interested in same sex experiences then. I may be wrong but from what I have read from your posts you hold a different perspective than many bisexual men your age that are on this site.
Re: Bi-sexuality in golden years
Quote:
Originally Posted by
pbvasc
Thank you on behalf of all married bi-curious or bi men.
I really wish more women to have an open mind about bi-desires because that is a complement to their partner happiness.
If my wife had bi-desires and I was a regular straight guy, I am sure I would support her all the way. I would still love her. She would be happier and happy peaple will return love to you.
God Bless you!!
Ditto!!! Women like you are a rare breed. I came out to my wife after 22 years of being together. I had to because I felt I was going to have a breakdown. And miraculously, she understands and supports me. I can't say everything is totally perfect, but pretty close. The rest we just talk it out. She has met my lover and really likes him too. WE all get along so well. To those of you who are surpressing your bisexual feelings, be very careful cause it could tear you apart and cause for an unhappy life.
"Repression Brings Obcession." I learned that the hard way. So, let it go, give in, give up, surrender and be the true you!!!
