married ppl?

Excellent thread... most noticeably because of the honest input from our little network of people in here who in some ways are much like each other. I really like being a part of this site, and feel a lot stronger as a person simply through learning more about all of you.

So here's the thing. I'm on the M side of the equation, and living proof of the slant toward F being more acceptably bi than M. I am absolutely fine with my wife wanting to explore anything about her sexuality. That includes (I believe... only real experience would prove it) things that don't involve me. Put simply... I want her to experience absolute ecstasy, pleasure, fun... growth. You name it! If there's anything I might do to help, just say the word. I think sexuality is a wonderful gift to be explored and enjoyed.

But on the other side of the coin... although she loves me deeply, and wants to make me happy, she also has years of social conditioning making her FEEL that my bisexuality is simply wrong. I can't fault her on this belief... and I don't think I have a right to expect her to change. I disagree with her... but will respect and defend to the death her right to her opinion.

So here I sit in a conundrum much like a lot of you (guys especially from these posts it seems)... there's something I want to explore, and feel a growing need to investigate and experience, conflicting directly with my love for, and sense of obligation to 'do the right thing' by, my other half.

I tend to gravitate between two extremes... on the one hand believing I can simply suppress my wants (or are they needs?) as a lower priority to the commitment to my marriage, responsibility as a parent, avoidance of conflict... and on the other hand a feeling of reckless rebellion against 'rules of behaviour' I simply don't agree with. I'm bi... to hell with what the world thinks. Why can't I be... ME!

This weekend, I'm going to meet up with a man I've met on this site. I think we've got a lot in common and are looking for the very same thing. We're meeting with a pretty specific agenda. I've got the opportunity to 'dispell the myth' that this is not just a horny fantasy playing over and over in my head... and it is going to be easy for me to simply keep the experience to myself, no matter what happens.

But the real question here is this... do I want to be the person my wife wants me to be... or the one I want to be? If the other half of a relationship isn't happy with the idea of bisexuality (as Gayle says... not easily satisfied by only one person)... what is more important: The signifiant other's feelings, or 'being' one's true self?

I think those of you above who have claimed to want to stay in the closet for the sake of others have some good news and some bad news coming...

Good news... you are beautiful people, deeply and privately sacrificing self for the love of others.

Bad news... to yourself... you are slowly becoming ugly, because of something you're keeping inside that 'isn't acceptable'.

In my personal opinion... I think the hidden stuff is eventually going to start tainting the beautiful. Make sure you make the right decision for the long run. After all... you only live once... apparently.

If you think I've got this wrong, and shouldn't go through with what I'm planning and fantasising and getting quite excited about... please say so. I don't have a monopoly on being right all the time... but from where I'm looking... something as profoundly personal as your sexuality should not be put aside for others. It will eventually come back to haunt you.

Carpe Diem.

Sorry for long post... Gayle got my fingers going :-)

Carpe Diem.. seize the day.. and that's so true TicTac !

Personally, I don't believe that anyone should sacrifice anything as important as their sexuality, for a partner. I think too, that it is unbelievably selfish for the partner to give an ultimatum !

On the other hand, it is unfair of a bi or bi-curious person not to level with a potential partner when it gets to the stage of shall we move in together/get married/have kids. In my view, that's dishonest.

Often though, people commit in a relationship and then years later, when they are more mature and know themselves better, bi-curious feelings come to the fore. Then, it's not clear cut if there are kids for example.

That's when I wish there was a real strong bi community with bisexual-specific support groups who could really educate society and partners about bisexuality. That it's not a sit on the fence thing. That bisexuals aren't necessarily If It Moves Bonk It types. It must be really really tough for a partner to suddenly to have to deal with bisexuality. So anything that helped would be good. There just doesn't seem to be much out there.

Hey Tic Tac,

Good luck with your new experience, I hope it works out well for you, and let the 'beautiful you' come out!

Bi-ten :bipride:

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Originally Posted by BiCurious John

There is no possible way I could ever let my wife even suspect that I was bicurious, much less bisexual. She once found a bisexual link on my computer and threatened to leave me. I lied and convinced her that I was looking for bisexual woman.

I would rather leave my bi side a secret.

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I know how it is being married and bi. I did tell my wife and it wasnt pretty. We did talk it through. I found it easier to just keep it to myself.

My husband knows that I am bi (I was in a relationship with a woman when we met), and he is fine with it, but I made a personal choice to enter into a straight, monogamous marriage.

I still fantasize, though I won't act on it. The internet has been a wonderful place for me to experience some of the feelings and possibilities I left behind, in a way that doesn't compromise the commitments I've made. I could live my life without those things and still be happy, but it's nice that I don't have to. :)

I think it wonderful that so many people respond to these questions, I am also amazed at the number of poor spellers!

HI Everyone -

This is new times 2... I have never posted here before and the second part of it I will get into.

I met my fiancé about 3 years ago (let me note that she is completely STR8) and we started learning about each other. I first found out that she was into Bondage and got quite excited by many of the "acts" that one can do or have done to you as part of that. That is not judgment, just statement of fact. Heck, I think some of it is quite enjoyable as well.

I showed her a video of something that excited me - in the video the gal and guy took this potion that made them change bodies... then it showed them with their spouses (making love) but not them. So the gal (in the guys body) is with the wife and the guy (in the gals body) was with the husband - but it would flash back in the movie to show their real self and the sexual acts accordingly. I was and am really turned on by what the guys were doing.

She thought it was great. Later we played with some toys and I went down on the toy - she just about lost it then and there. It took little to bring her to climax...

Well time has passed and now she is searching for men or couples to help complete my fantasy. We have done some mmf but have not been able to do everything. As someone above mentioned - she is interested in making me happy, she is just happy making me happy. If nothing happened to her and she only watched, if I was happy, so would she be. I can say the same in return - I want to make sure she has enjoyed herself as well.

I guess that is the 2nd part - she is helping me... She is Wonderful, Very Loving, Very Supportive. I AM SO LUCKY TO HAVE HER.....

Let me add my own story. I am married for the second time to a wonderful woman. In my first marriage (12 yrs and 3 kids) I struggled with the ideas of sex with men. Before marriage and kids I went to a gay bath in my college town and it was a very exciting and (to this day) arousing experience.

Once I had kids, I concentrated on career, marriage and raising our kids. When I know that the marriage was dead, and my wife had told me for the 100th time that she wanted out I agreed and then had a heteosexual affair. My affair partner was a little kinky and we did a few wild things; crossdressing, use of anal butt plugs, etc. I guess that wet my whistle again.

When I dated the woman who is now my wife, I was pretty open with her about most everything. I crossdressed with her, she used a starp-on on me, we did a little bit with leather, bondage, etc. We also did all of this in a humerous fashion. I did not want to be a woman, but the CD experience could be exciting at times. We sometimes laughed until our sides were hurting when we tried a little bondage that didn't work out the way it was intended. I thought I had found the perfect mate. Not only was I in love, but she was also accepting of of my kinks. WO!!!

Well time went on and our activities became noticably tamer. While we would frequently make love in the daytime and nearly always with some light on - candles, etc. now it was always in the dark and always with me on top. Cunnilingus became taboo. She would perform oral sex on me, but not often. Some reasons were that she had put on weight (she was 99 lbs when we got married and is 120 lbs now), that my past kinkier interests were the result of sexual abstinence of a few years, her medical problems (arthritis, back pain), etc.

I think the other reason has been that her closest female friends are in marriages where there is no love and no lust.

I have told her in recent months that I am bisexual. While I have not spelled out that I want to have sex with any man, she does now know that this is how I see myself. To be 100% honest, we did not have a long conversation about it, but I did tell her.

Now having said all this, and having been a frequent voyeur to www.ThreePillows.com and other internet sites, as well as reading all sorts of wonderful and horrible stories on www.Literotica.com, www.AASTR.org and www.fictionmania.com and having corresponded with many folks about this, I am very reluctant to go outside my marriage to have any sort of sexual encounter with anyone, or any couple.

It does not have to do with her. It has to do with me. I belive that I entered into a contract with my wife. The details of that contract are that we would be faithful to one another. It does not matter that things have changed - either in her preferences or in mine. Now this is for me, and I am not preaching to anyone about what they should or should not do, but I believe that my sexuality is not primary to everything else in life. My sexual preferences do not dictate my behaviors, especially with a marriage at stake. If I have to go through the rest of my life, never having sex with a man because to do so would be to jepordize my marriage, then I am happy to abstain. For me, it's what head do I do my thinking with - the big one (between my legs) or the little one (on my shoulders)? [Sorry, my attemtp at a little humor].

Sex is very important to me. But my view of myself is that I am a whole person - with feelings, drives, intelligence, intuition, values, etc. So I guess I'll miss out on M2M orgasms. But I'll continue to have a life partner who trusts me as I trust her.

Did I sound too preachy? If so, sorry.

Mike

Well, well, well!

Very interesting posts. gayle, stop making yours so long...damn! :tongue:

No, but seriously, I am a female who was primed by society also. I keep thinking if my husband told me he was bi how I would feel. And quite frankly I think I would be nauseous. I am a youngster, too, so that is quite surprising to even me. Plus, I am a deep down feminist as far as society's taboos but what can I say...it's in there.

My husband and I are looking for our first FMF experience. I was trying to suppress my desires of wanting to be with a female, also. I feel that it is usually a raunchy situation and now every female is bi it seems. Bisexuality is becoming like those fur moccassins every one is wearing with skirts! It is considered cute. But I am not interested in being with a female...only playing with one. I love my husband and I cannot possibly describe the feelings he gives to me in bed but I wanted to give him this gift as well as myself to see if I am really bi or just "freaky". And I really do feel that I am just freaky.

I wish that society was different in some ways, also but the thought of seeing my husband giving it to a man is too much to take. Truly. But to those of you who are totally accepting...get ur game on-go play!

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Originally Posted by Johnny Dollar

I'm new here...this is a great place...first post!

I have a different experience...I've been married almost 12 years now. I'm very bi-curious (and it seems the curiosity keeps building and building). On May 14th of this year, extremely nervously, I told my wife about my curiosity. She was very accepting of it and is allowing me to explore that side of myself. I was very surprised by this but love her even more because of it! I feel like one of the luckiest people around to have someone like this in my life.

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Johhny Dollar...Seems like you and I are lucky. My wife of too many years has known about my bi-side but does not join in. My lover has tried to get her to join us but its a no go. They get along great. Wish more relationships were like mine... :bipride:

We have been married for 36 years. I told my wife 3 years after we were married and at first she had some real concerns. Once we had our first threesome, she found that she loved being with bisexual men. About a year later she was with a woman and loved it. We have had a wonderful marriage of intense love for each other and a true enjoyment of sharing our bisexuality.

Over the years we have tried to help others explore their desires. Unfortuntely, some husbands got really upset when they saw their wife for the first time going nuts over another woman. Seems like a lot a guys want to see this until reality sets in.

We met a couple where the wife was a little curious and the husband was pushing her to try. He warned us ahead of time that his wife only has one orgasm & she is finished. :rolleyes: Well the night we met, when his wife was on her 6th or 7th orgasm, he got mad and said it was time to leave. She went to the bathroom to clean up & my wife went in to comfort her. A few minutes later we hear moans, so her husband charged in & caught the two of them french-kissing and fingering each other. We never heard from them again. :(

MY husband loves the fact that I am bi. We have a good time with it. He is not bi but I am and I also love to watch him with another woman to me that is a very exciting event. Some people think that is very strange, I think that it is normal for us. I think each couple has what they consider normal for their relationship considering everyone's opinion of things is different. My sister on one hand is completely straight and doesn't like to share her man and I am completely the opposite.. Traci

I would like to speak on behalf of the spouses that didn't seem to accept their partner's bisexuality upon the discovery of it. I once was one of those. My husband told me that he was bisexual the night that he proposed to me. He told me that although he had those feelings, and had experienced sex with men, he loved me and would be faithful to me regardless of those feelings. I was ok with that...I thought. For years I worried that I was never going to be able to satisfy him. If I found out he had visited a bi site or read a bi magazine, I found it a threat and worried even more. As the years went on, the more I expressed my concerns, the more ashamed he felt about being truthful and he began to wish he had never told me about that part of his life. But he also knew that he couldn't marry me in good conscience if he kept that part of his life a secret. We began to incorporate same sex fantasies in our sex play....and as time wore on, I became very aware that I too was bisexual. What a wonderful release that was for me! And the interesting thing is, that although I have never been with a woman, and probably never will be with a woman, it is no threat to him as my husband, friend and lover that I will never satisfy that need. The reason why is simple. We are honest about our feelings....we are faithful to one another and don't necessarily find a need to seek sex outside of our marriage....but we DO use it in our sexual play and the more open we are about it, the more I realize how silly it was for me to be afraid of his sexual preferences. Being bisexual doesn't necessarily mean that you will be unfaithful or promiscuous...but it is certainly a wonderful "special secret" to share between two loving and caring people. Maybe one day we will expand our fantasies to include some realities...but only when the two of us are both ready.

What I am trying to stress is that if your bisexuality will force you to seek sex outside of your marriage, try to understand that the threat to your partner isn't so much your preference, but your desire to have sex with someone other than your spouse or partner. And if you can't contain that desire, please don't mislead them to believe that you have it under control. It isn't fair to your partner, nor is it fair to you.

But that's just my opinion.....

Kate ;)

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Originally Posted by spamer-man

well it just seems to me that many of the ppl on this sight are married, so i was just wondering for those of you who are what does your parner think of you being bi? are they bi as well, do they enjoy to watch or join in? well i was talking to my friend on the phone she is ingadged to get married but is still interested in me and is still trying to talk her fiance into leting her have sex with me (i evan preposed a 3sum we'll see how that works out). anyway when i told her i was bi she was realy exited and a little turned on which is just one reason why i love her soo much. and i was just curious how other ppls partners feel about them being bi?

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i am bi and my husband not, he enjoys the fact that i am bi. me being bi has made our marriage even more spicy. he love to watch as well as join in. i never thought something like this could ever happen. being bi is great u get the best of both worlds!!

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Originally Posted by 24play

It's very sad that in a married or even relationship, the bisexual girls are always welcomed but the bisexual guys are frowned upon and mostly not understood or allowed to act out their fantasies and desires.

Guess it's more a general society acceptance thing more than anything else. I'm married, bi and my hubby is straight. But, he has no problem with other married couples where the reverse is true or both are bi.
Most men though - even in the swinging scene where all are considered openminded, the straight men are very wary and even scared of the bi men.

it's stupid!! :wiggle2:

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i totally agree with you. I wonder why straight men are afraid of bi men. well iam bi and my hubby is straight like yours is. isn't it so much fun being bi

my wife and i have been married for almost 12 years now, and she has known all along that i was bi (i told her when we were dating) and this has never been an issuse with us, we dont "play" together, but we both are allowed to play outside of the bounds of marriage with the one rule, be upfront and no sneaking around, and after all these years it has worked out nicely, and there is no jealousy between us
but i do realise that this situation is not for everyone, and i am hesitant to reccomend it, as it may not be the right situation for that person
but thanks for my :2cents: m_in_heels&hose


PS. just to let you all know (who are wondering) my wife is straight, but she is very accepting & understanding

Wow! Interesting thread.
My wife and I have been together for 20 years.She knows all about me, my fantasies and the things I have done. She is very accepting of it and actually gets very aroused at the thought/sight of me and another man, something we have shared already and will again. What really blew my mind is when she became close freinds with one of my freinds (she refers to him as my boyfriend, a term I accept and use myself).
As for my bisexuality having and adverse effect on our sex life, NO WAY! Our relationship seems to keep improving and sex between us is hotter than ever. We share everything, including our sex toys! ;)

I am greatly encouraged by the stories of couples who have successfully dealt with these issues as slaphappypud and his wife have and others. However, these adventuresome (and I believe healthy) couples are in a very small minority. I would guess that for every success story like slaphappypud's there are thousands of stories of unhappy outcomes.

All I can say is, CONGRATUALTIONS! to slaphappypud and others. You are an inspiration to us all.

Mike

When I see responses like Mike's I am somewhat dismayed that we all feel the necessity to act on our feelings as being the only way to survive a marriage with a bisexual partner or to feel that in order to achieve happiness within the couple, it is necessary to actually have relations outside of the marriage. I accept my spouse's bisexuality as being a real part of him but to feel that he must have sex with a man as the only way for our marriage to be a success is no more acceptable to me than for him to have sex with another woman. What is wrong with monogamy? And can't we just be open and honest without having to seal the deal with sex?

I agree that I may appear naive, but just being open about our feelings works as well if not better for our marriage than seeking an actual sexual encounter. Am I the only one who feels this way. I am not asking for judgements....just curious as to whether or not I am the only one. I really need to know. Any like-minded couples out there or am I completely offbase?

Kate

Dear csrakate:

Sorry, I did not mean to imply that I think relations outside of a committed marriage are acceptable. For me, they are not. I have been married and in a relationship with a wonderful woman for 14 years. I have never acted out my bisexual interests outside our marriage.

We love each other very much and I would never jepordize the wonderful relationship we have by being unfaithful or even by going outside the relationship with her acceptance. Knowing myself, when I have a sexual relationship with someone, I become emotionally involved as well. I only want that with my wife. I strongly believe in monogmany and practice it. But I am also bisexual and this website and these forums gives me the opportunity to explore my thoughts on the matter as well as to be helpful and supportive of others.

Other people on these forums seem to be able to compartmentalize and function out of lust without damaging their marriages or primary relationships. I could never do that, but I am not so arrogrant to think that my way is the only way to live. I believe that humans are evolving and changing all the time. But as long as people are honest and respectful of themselves and others, perhaps they can make it work. I do not judge. I have opinions, but I don't see these forums as a soapbox to judge other people.

I hope that's clear. And csrakate, I do feel the sam as you.

Mike

Hey Mike,
Nor did I intend to look like I stood in judgement or on a soap box for that matter. I guess I got a bit worried when I began to feel as though maybe "I" was being unrealistic in my expectations of having a monogamous marriage. Although I have been married for 25 years, our relationship continues to evolve, as does everyone else's with certain changes in the household...children growing older and moving away, etc...and I don't want to wake up one day and discover that perhaps I was too much of a "pollyanna" in my thinking. I admire those that can have relationships without affecting the marriage and I only wish the best for them. I just know that I always have and always will equate sex with love and for me to do otherwise would just amount to me "using" someone as an outlet.

I guess what I am trying to say is that perhaps I was also looking for a little affirmation that my way of thinking wasn't far fetched and that I wasn't fooling myself. I am thankful for this forum for opening my eyes to the varied ways we have of dealing with bisexuality and marriage. And it is never too late to teach an "old dog new tricks"...but this old dog may be too set in her ways! LOL!

Thanks for your post and I wish you and everyone continued happiness!

Kate

I think opening up a relationship, whether married or not, is, like Mike says elsewhere, a Pandora's box. Except that the stereotype of that is a detriment to the external situation. There will be times that it was the best thing you could have done.

You just have to be honest with your partners. And, you have to agree on the rules of your relationship, then ABIDE by those rules. Now, if one partner wants to change the rules, then a big honest discussion will be needed. You will work it out if you're both adult, clear thinking people.

For all those who believe in monogomy, and practice it, my best to you. But sometimes you don't know what you're missing until you try it.

I decided to jump in on this thread because this was very close to a topic we discussed at the club this past weekend. My hubby is Bi-curious, and I am str8. I have had a few bi experiences but really more for him than anything. I don't mind kissing and touching another woman, infact that is quite enjoyable, but really I stop there. My hubby and I have been married for over 15 years, and really he's hinted for a long time that he was cusrious but never really came out and admitted it until recently. We are swingers, so to me I guess it seems almost like a natural progression.

While we were at the club this weekend, someone had brought up bi-males, now we all know at the club we go to there are a few of them. In fact we are close friends with one of them. In an open forum though it really is kept quiet, even our bimale friend pretty much denys his bi side in front of others.
So as a bunch of us were sitting there I posed the question: Why if we are supposed to be some of the most open-minded people around are we still afraid of talking about guys being bi? It is quite acceptable for women but not the men, in fact as a woman in the swinging community I am looked at strange when I tell someone I am str8. Of course no one had an answer for me, in fact my husband remarked to me later, great now they'll know I'm bi. Like it was such a terrible thing.

I do notice though at the club the women are much more accepting of men being bi then the men are. Why is that? I want my hubby to feel comfortable with his fantasies and possible reality, why should he be ashamed of who he is?

I guess for now there is no answer, but it does seem to be a common problem. This really has been an interesting topic.

Trish

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Originally Posted by MMF_interested

I decided to jump in on this thread because this was very close to a topic we discussed at the club this past weekend. My hubby is Bi-curious, and I am str8. I have had a few bi experiences but really more for him than anything. I don't mind kissing and touching another woman, infact that is quite enjoyable, but really I stop there. My hubby and I have been married for over 15 years, and really he's hinted for a long time that he was cusrious but never really came out and admitted it until recently. We are swingers, so to me I guess it seems almost like a natural progression.

While we were at the club this weekend, someone had brought up bi-males, now we all know at the club we go to there are a few of them. In fact we are close friends with one of them. In an open forum though it really is kept quiet, even our bimale friend pretty much denys his bi side in front of others.
So as a bunch of us were sitting there I posed the question: Why if we are supposed to be some of the most open-minded people around are we still afraid of talking about guys being bi? It is quite acceptable for women but not the men, in fact as a woman in the swinging community I am looked at strange when I tell someone I am str8. Of course no one had an answer for me, in fact my husband remarked to me later, great now they'll know I'm bi. Like it was such a terrible thing.

I do notice though at the club the women are much more accepting of men being bi then the men are. Why is that? I want my hubby to feel comfortable with his fantasies and possible reality, why should he be ashamed of who he is?

I guess for now there is no answer, but it does seem to be a common problem. This really has been an interesting topic.

Trish

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Great question!

I wonder if this could have it's origins in the old stereotypes of gay men. When I was growing up (60's, 70's and into the 80's), gay men were always thought of as limp wristed, extremely effeminate people with exaggerated affect. Normal looking guys who were gay seemed to be non-existent in the "normal, heterosexual's" view of being gay. That stereotype made it hard to deal with these people because you didn't know exactly how to relate to them. I seem to recall, in my limited social circle, that this stereotype was also associated with extreme promiscuity. Those two characteristics combined, made them easy scapegoats for riddicule and prejudice. Men who were ordinary in their behaviors but who were also gay, may have tended to distance themselves from their more public brothers because of this. (Now this is pure speculation on my part - so challenge me all you want).

I went to a gay bath in the midwest while in college in the late 60's. The men I saw there and had some fun with, were all ordinary people - no one that fit into the stereotype that I described above. Then, they seemed to exist below the public's radar - perhaps because the mainstream did not want to recognize that a normal looking man could practice "deviant" sexual practives, such as homosexual sex.

On the other hand, the stereotype of gay women may not have been seen as so difficult - certainly promiscuity was not strongly connected with lesbian women, and I was never conscious of having difficulty knowing how to relate to them - perhaps because I never knew a lesbian. They seemed to be much less public.

Further, women in our modern day culture have been put on a pedestal as creatures of beauty, grace and charm - due in large part because of Madison Avenue. It's a lot of pressure on girls on the one hand, but on the other, perhaps it is easier for a homophobic public to think of two beautiful, graceful, females engaging in loving activities vs. two muscular or androgenous men fucking.

I don't know - anyone care to comment or shoot down my hypothesis?

Mike

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Originally Posted by mike9753

Great question!

I wonder if this could have it's origins in the old stereotypes of gay men. When I was growing up (60's, 70's and into the 80's), gay men were always thought of as limp wristed, extremely effeminate people with exaggerated affect. Normal looking guys who were gay seemed to be non-existent in the "normal, heterosexual's" view of being gay. That stereotype made it hard to deal with these people because you didn't know exactly how to relate to them. I seem to recall, in my limited social circle, that this stereotype was also associated with extreme promiscuity. Those two characteristics combined, made them easy scapegoats for riddicule and prejudice. Men who were ordinary in their behaviors but who were also gay, may have tended to distance themselves from their more public brothers because of this. (Now this is pure speculation on my part - so challenge me all you want).

"snipped"
I don't know - anyone care to comment or shoot down my hypothesis?


Mike

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Hi Mike,

I should have mentioned this in my post. It seems the general consensus among the men in our conversation was that a bi or gay male is somehow less masculine than a str8 male. Now my hubby is no less masculine than anyone, neither is the other gentlemen I mentioned we were friends with. They are not what some people percieve as the sterotypical gay/bi male. I am surprised to find out though with the internet being the place that it is, and the fact everyone can find other people just like they are and know they are not alone, that even today this type of stero type exsists, and men who are bi are still having a hard time admitting it. IMHO I think the gay men have done a better job of accepting who they are than the bi men. I also think society as a whole understands them better. Maybe those aren't exactly the right words, but I hope everyone understands where I am getting at.

Women who are bi are usually held in high regard, after all for most men this is the best of both worlds. I have even heard it said around the club watching 2 women together is a beautiful thing, yet to hear them speak of 2 men it's always something joked about or deemed gross in some way.

Again IMHO and as I told my hubby those that are protesting and making the biggest jokes of it are probably the ones who are the most curious about it. I watched him do it for years, even now in what he would consider the wrong company, he teases and jokes about male bisexuality. I don't think it is done to be malicious, I think it's more out of fear of being discovered. It is very confusing and sometimes disappointing to know he has that fear.

Sorry just had to jump back in again :)

Trish

Trish:

I would have to agree about "...he who doth protest too much" meaning that their derogatory remarks are motivated by their anxiety and fear. That makes elegant sense as fear and anxiety drives many of our less noble, knee-jerk reactions.

Mike

Bump it up!

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Originally Posted by spamer-man

well it just seems to me that many of the ppl on this sight are married, so i was just wondering for those of you who are what does your parner think of you being bi? are they bi as well, do they enjoy to watch or join in? well i was talking to my friend on the phone she is ingadged to get married but is still interested in me and is still trying to talk her fiance into leting her have sex with me (i evan preposed a 3sum we'll see how that works out). anyway when i told her i was bi she was realy exited and a little turned on which is just one reason why i love her soo much. and i was just curious how other ppls partners feel about them being bi?

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...my girlfriends not even live in ones eve knew...

even though I knew I was bi when I was a teenager, I never told my wife, when I finally came out in my early 50's (after she found out I was having sex with a guy), her disappointment was split between me having an affair and me never telling her that I was bi. she said didn't allow her to have informed consent when we agreed to marry. my guess is that she would have married me anyway.

my wife came from a very liberal family. her mother had friends who were lesbian and tolerance was always preached so she was never mad that I was bi, just that I never told her.

I've met other guys who haven't had it so well. their wives, who know about them, call them faggots and queers. not a great marriage I guess.

I suspect my husband is curious (I do think it's more than just wishful thinking on my part, with some of the things in his browser history), but I haven't been able to get him to come out to me. I just keep mentioning how okay it is when I can fit it in conversation, and in some cases, how I find it hot.

He knows I'm bi, but it's different for women.