The Introduction....

Hi all

Decided to indtroduce myself having been in knowledge of this site for a few weeks now.

I am married guy with a lovely wife and 2 children. Although generally straight i always liked the concept of bi-sexual encounters and thoroughly enjoy sex with men and women.

I had my first encoutner as a boy ( who hasn't really ?), the thought never even entered my mind until i satyed at a friends house and we were playing hide and seek, somehow we both ended up in his bedroom cupboard in darkness. The torch gets switched on and he is laughing, i look down to find the light shinning on his hard cock. We both giggled and then left the cupboard to carry on playing games.
That night he offered me inside his sleeping bag and i accepted, spending all night fondling and masturbating each other as we were only young and nieve.

That was it for about 4 or 5 years but the idea of male sexual encounters turned me on.....to the point i futher experienced a few more encounters of touching and masturbating friends.

Then came the girls ( they were never really out of my mind) and i had a few girlfriends with some great sex.
The clincher came when i had to work away with a colleague for a few days.We both shared a room with single beds and would work all day and then club all night, trying to get us some dates for the evening. Both drunk and jovial we were in bed talking and messing around as guys do, talking about sex and masturbation when i mentioned i was hard. Jokingly i said he should help me out as it's better than doing it yourself and presented myself to him for a laugh.
I got a shock when he reached over and grabbed me and started playing.The thought of it exhilarated me and i throbbed in his hand. I then got out of bed and went to where he was laying and we spent ages exploring each other, the first time i could really enjopy myself slowly with no fear of anyone bursting through the door.
We proceeded to enjoy mutual masturbation and oral sex and both came about bringing each other to orgasm and enjoying ourselves sexually. Afterwards he openly admitted he enjoyed it and the following night we did the same thing but in a slighty different scenario.
We left each other with our secret in our minds and carried on with normal life, returning to our girlfriends.

Since then i have had one or two brief encounters, more so since i have been with my wife whom i love very much, but am stuck ina rut and i'd feel ashamed to them all telling them my true feelings about sexuality. We both as parents try not to be biased to our children when it comes to sexuality and people's right to express it to others, but really should listen to some of my own good advice. But i've reache dhte 'point of no return' with my marraige and am simply too scared to speak out, so i live in silence, emtionally hurting msyelf every day.
Now with the internet, it's so much easier to enjoy my fantasies through sites in the privacy of my own home, it is more teasing now than pleasant !

I simply can't 'come out' to my wife or anyone for that matter except a few cherished friends, as she simply will not accept it. She is 100% straight and any mention of 'fun stuff' is condemned immediately. I know if i told her, she would leave me, and even if she accepted it, there's no way she would allow me to explore that avenue as in her mind 'cheating is cheating' regardless of what happens, she sees sex as a very private matter and conversaiotn with friends regarding it is simply not allowed.

I wonder how many other married men are currently over frustrated experiencing the same thing as i am ? I myself don't have the guts to tell my wife or family but yearn to experience what my mind and body tell me.....but always get last minute nerves if actually do get the chance to try somehting out through meeting someone.
I don't have the nerve to approach male friends to find out if they are similar incase i make a wrong call and openly embaress myself with my truthfullness, but the urge becomes stronger day by day to the point i think i will explode !

I'm hetro through and through and don't even think i could become fully gay, but do enjoy an occaisoinal night of bi fun, if it be with a couple of a single male.

Well, there you have it, my life long story of the person i actually am instead of the guy all my friends and family expect me to be........how wrong is that eh ???

welcome Kart......I hope you find what you need here....secrets can be a heavy weight to carry.......:compuser: Katie

Thanks Katie

Yes it is a burden to carry that's for sure, but i don;t think i can simply 'come out' without any hiccups. Makes me wish i had been more honest to msyelf years ago !!