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My Hope For this Group

  1. 12voltman59
    12voltman59
    Since we have a bisexual erotic fiction group for writing the fictional stuff that floats around in some of our heads----I decided it might be good to start a group where we can discuss in perhaps a different way, some of the events, meeting people, etc that helped lead us to this point in our lives----our discovery and/or acceptance that we somehow---just did not quite "fit the mold" that society lays out for us, in a sexual fashion.


    I want us to share those stories, what our observations are, our thoughts on this and how it has affected our lives over time, how we and our lives have changed since we first either "discovered" that we were something different----in a place that unlike the main forum---doesn't move along like a river in that if nothing gets posted to it after a time---you have to go back to it.

    I guess that these are the basic outlines and structure of what I would like to see what this group is about.

    I hope we can have some interesting discussions that help us all in some way---may the discussion begin!
  2. 12voltman59
    12voltman59
    For me-----I really do think that I had some concept that I was a "bisexual" that goes back to when I was a very young child even though of course----I had no way of knowing what that was--just that very early on--I do recall seeing some picture or reading something that would cause what was a sexual arousal in me----even though once again----I had no way of knowing what this strange feeling was until sometime later in life.

    Those stories, photos or whatever that did give stir some arousal in that young boy----was an equal opportunity thing--with the subjects being both female and male.

    An example of such a thing taking place was when I was a kid---I was a big reader of comic books and in one series of comics I got----they had this "filler" story they would run---it was about a young boy who was an adventurer/hero type. He was a sort of non-technological version of Johnny Quest-----in that he was a young, white, blond headed boy that was a Tarzan like character.

    The artist that did the series---had the boy character only dressed in a bikini like loin cloth. I realize it now---but I found the way they drew him----"turned me on." I do not recall the name of this strip nor the name of the character, but I surely obviously recall him and the strip.

    I would imagine myself being this character--playing in my room dressed only in my tiny "tightie-whities" facing the same sorts of precarious, close call situations he was always in but of course, got out of at the end of each edition of the strip.

    Thinking back to it now--there was no doubt--that even though my tiny little mushroom dick could not get hard---the feelings looking at his pictures in those comics----did "get me horny."

    As I got older---as a avid reader and even though it was a time that pre-dated the Internet, I somehow came across magazines, books and such that had some pretty hot sexual stuff in them---many of those stories involving men, women, etc. that were not just heterosexual in nature----stories of women doing things with women, men with men and some combinations there of.

    When I was in my pre-teen years--in the area where I lived---we had this large expanse of what had been farmland and had some old buildings on it----it was a place that many of us kids liked to explore.

    There was this old shack or cabin on one part of the land and it was a place that young couples would go to have sex--and also--apparently some people went to shoot up drugs--because you could find spent rubbers and old needles there.

    It was well known that things like that went on in there---but at the times I went--I never saw anyone in it--just the signs of them having been there.

    This is where I found a lot of these books and magazines--one day----I found this stash of those old time, vintage gay porn mags that they used to have in the late 60s and early 70s and wow----was that some eye opening stuff for me then----and it was a major turn on--by this time---I could get hard and off--and it was something that as I went through those mags, looking a the pics and reading some of the text---I began to get hard and jerked off---just like I had done when I found mags like Playboys, Hustler, Cherry and other str8 magazines.

    I gathered up a number of those mags, took them home and hid them in places that I had found in our house so I could enjoy them at my leisure and safety.

    Not long after that though, someone torched that shack, then not too much longer--the developers came to turn the land into a number of things----some parts of it became a truck stop for a time, industrial buildings in others, a shopping center, homes and condos. Its been many years since any traces of the more natural place it once was ever existed were wiped away. It is along a major interstate and was prime for such development.

    Not long before I had found that reading material--back before I entered puberty---me and a young neighbor "buddy" would play naked with one another over the course of a few months one summer---and even though we could not "consummate" anything sexually----we sure tried and we sure had some fun.

    Our time together ended when his dad--who was a pilot in the Air Force---got reassigned to a new air base and I never saw him again--but still do think of him---and even though I don't think I realized it then---I think he and I sort of loved each other--it was at least "puppy love" as I have heard such boy crushes were called.

    I had one more relationship with another boy--at age 15--he was as well---before I came to finally get enough nerve and confidence to be with girls and actually had some luck with them, beginning around age 16.

    Other than a few sporadic things in my later teens and early twenties---I mostly was with girls and surely did enjoy being with them.

    For my next post--I am going to talk about an impromptu, out of the blue, "thing" that happened between me and another guy not all that many years ago once I decided that I was going to do stuff with other guys again.
  3. 12voltman59
    12voltman59
    This post is going to be about a sexual experience I had about ten years ago now--once that I had decided that I was going to "get with guys again" even though I had been with a few--I had not been with all that many yet.

    In a way---I am going to start by discussing what gets called "gaydar."

    In some cases, it is pretty obvious that a guy is clearly gay---but in others---I have often been clueless, because over the years---I had become associated with guys that to me--I had no idea that they were gay and that was no real problem because I have never had any antipathy towards gays even though---I was "put off" by the various "gay scenes" that I came across living in a variety of places with large populations of gays like Savannah, Georgia; various places in Florida like Key West and Orlando and the San Francisco area when I was stationed out there in the Coast Guard for a time.

    What got me about the gaydar "thing" is that when I was around those guys----they often "made plays" for me---telling me they thought I was nice, cute, sexy and wanted to be with me.

    I was surprised and shocked----both that I had no idea they were gay--and that they wanted to be with me.

    I was flattered in many cases, because they were neat people but during those times this happened--I was still not yet thinking I wanted to be with guys and was usually involved in a "serious" relationship with a lady. So----I thanked them and told them that I was involved with a gal at the time and not really "into guys."

    What did get me----I have always thought that I was a pretty masculine guy, I was stocky but always muscular, dressed kind of both professional and preppy, not exactly very much a "fashion plate" or anything--I found my style, got comfortable with it and it was pretty well set, only changing colors and such as the styles did change.

    I wondered----what sort of signals was I apparently sending off that these guys were attracted to me??? I am still trying to figure that one out.

    This now brings me to the experience I am about to talk about.

    Many of you know that I have this lake cottage on a lake in Ohio that I tend to spend most of my summers.

    It was maybe six or seven years ago now----right around the corner near me is this bar that has been under a number of owners and management. The place at the time was called the Thirsty Turtle. Everyone in my neighborhood there were regulars there--as was I.

    If you got too shitfaced there---you could just walk home very easily, going back for your car the next day.

    This one night, later in the summer---I went there--it was a Friday night.

    The place was rocking because they were having a Jimmy Buffett themed night. I was standing a the end of this one table most of the night---talking to some neighbors. Because I was sort of in the walk way---people heading to the restroom---being buzzed---often bumped into me---with none of them saying they were sorry. I didn't care--I was pretty tipsy too.

    At one point--this one guy bumps into me and he began to apologize profusely. "No problem man!" I told him. He then asked me where the restroom was and I told him--"I gotta take a piss too, follow me." which he did.

    Once out of the restroom, he introduced himself. "Rick here." He shook my hand then as we went to my table--my neighbors were gone.

    "Come join me and my buddies," he said. "Let me buy you a beer," he also said as we walked over to the other side of the bar to where he and his buds had a table.

    A few of them were hanging around---waiting as they shot pool. We introduced each other--but over at that side---there was this speaker for the bar's sound system and it was really cranking--I could barely catch their names.

    Because it was so noisy---me and Rick sat side by side--very close to each other so he could talk into my ear.

    It was hard to hear, but I gathered that he and his buddies were from around Columbus, staying at the cabin of a friend or relative on the other side of the lake.

    I told him that my place was close by.

    During the course of us talking--Rick would rest his hand on my knee. At first, that was it--but then after a bit, he would lightly rub the inside of my thigh. I have to say--it felt pretty nice. Then--when I did not slap his hand away, he moved it closer to my crotch--as it happened--I was wearing a pair or workout shorts and had no underwear on. Over the course of a few more minutes---he put his fingers inside the leg of side of my shorts and touched my balls and cock.

    "Nice" he said, "you like that?" he asked. "Yes," is all I said.

    He moved his hand more and grabbed my cock--it did feel good---and my cock got hard.

    Rick then said, "Lets get some fresh air." I agreed and we went outside.

    He suggested that we go to my place and I said yes.

    In a few minutes we were there.

    We went out to sit at a picnic table in my yard and he pulled me to him---planting a big kiss on me---it felt good and I accepted his moves. We were soon making out--he pulled off my shirt and my shorts, I pulled off his shirt too. I could feel his cock was hard--mine was.

    I then suggested to him that we go inside and take a shower since I had not taken one before I went to the bar, he liked that. In the bathroom, Rick took off his shorts and I was surprised--he was one of those thin, short lanky guys--but his cock was very large!! Thin but large!!

    In the shower---we soaped each other off and made out--and we sucked each other for a time. After some period of time--he said he was ready to get out, We shut off the shower, dried off and went to my bedroom just off the bathroom.

    Once in the bed---Rick let it rip---he climbed on top of me kissing me----and soon--his cock was inside me---where it pretty much stayed until the sun rose and we finally slept till at least noon.

    In full disclosure----no he did not wear a rubber but I have been tested many times since and I am clear of any nasties.

    We had a great time together that weekend--I finally took him over in the boat to where his buddies were staying on Sunday afternoon.

    I never did see or hear from him since---texting was not yet something that everyone did and he didn't respond to emails. That is OK---we had fun and just like with some ladies I had been with over the years that were "one night stands"--I put it down that we had a fun night and that was all there would be.

    The real thing that got me about it---that first--with "The Turtle" basically being a "redneck/biker bar"--I would never have expected that the ONLY TIME a guy has hit on me and "picked me up"---it was not in some gay bar in a place like Key West or San Fran---it was that little bar at Indian Lake, Ohio that a guy that looked like just like what he was----a "working man" (being a welder.)

    How and why he thought that I was someone he could seduce and fuck----- I never could figure out. At the time---I don't think it occurred to me ask him.

    It was a surprise to me--but I have to say---it was fun that I was the object of such attention. We surely had a great time having many hours of sex that weekend.

    What the whole experience does make me wonder----along with the others----do I give off any "gay vibes" or something???

    Anyone wonder this about themselves?
  4. Bi Damon
    Congratulations Mike, you had NSA sex and now have another STD all thanks to "Rick" if that was his actual name. Either way "Rick" did a mercy fuck on yo' obese ugly ass. How large would you estimate his dick to be? OR are you saying this since you have a tiny dick and even 6.5" long is "large" to you? You would have to be blind not to be able to tell if a man is bisexual or gay, and the guys who are total closet queens such as yourself are by far the easiest to pick up on since it's way more obvious than a feminine man is. mercy fuck having intercourse with another person that is very willing when you are very not interested. Mostly term used between gay men when a good looking gay man will show "mercy" and "fuck" an ugly man.
  5. 12voltman59
    12voltman59
    Boy--you sure are so judgmental---and no--I have never nor do I have have any STDs--and yes-I have been damn lucky I do admit---I had more unprotected sex with ladies over the years than with guys--and did get lucky with them as well----I guess though--as I said in the other posting--if you don;'t like this group--that is fine--you are free to go elsewhere-----there are plenty of other groups on here that might be of interest to you--or you are free to go start a group to diss the other groups like this one.

    When it comes to sex----and "being safe"----back when AIDS first came on the scene---a buddy of mine---came down with the disease---and he got it from his wife----he had been totally, 100 percent faithful to her---but it seemed that she was off having sex with lots of guys behind his back and thanks to that-----he still got the disease, got sick and both he and his wife died because it was early in the bad days of AIDs and the meds they had were still not figured out so well----so it is a sad thing to say----that the only truly 100 percent SAFE SEX----is NOT to have sex AT ALL.-----

    You really don't seem to have anything truly valuable to contribute since you also go on to talk about stuff like mercy fucks of any ugly man and such---sounds like you are just one more troll that this site, sadly seems to attract!!
  6. 12voltman59
    12voltman59
    It hit me---of the crap in BiDamon's post--the stuff that pisses me off the most about it--and its a theme that seems to crop up with our troll or trolls--is that somehow---if one is not some perfect human specimen---then then such a person doesn't at least deserve some sex--if not not worthy of love too---and that---is some very sick stuff. I am sure that whoever this person or people is or are-----they are no perfect Adonis or Venus human specimens either!!!! And that is ok--even though they are surely not attractive people thanks to the sort of stuff they believe-they still deserve both sex and love!!!!
  7. sailorashore
    sailorashore
    I still think he's a 14-year old with bad acne, who's been shunned by every girl at school. Just a guess, mind you, but if you think about, who else walks around with that kind of anger, and tries to dump on everyone around him? I can't read his post (I have him on my ignore list), but it's not too difficult to imagine what it says. If you've read one, you've read them all.
  8. 12voltman59
    12voltman59
    Yeah, got that right, Sailor--what does get me--the person knows my actual name--and that is something that I don't share too much---so that person is either someone I talk to on here and knows my name---or he has spent a long time going through my 4,000 plus posts and found it----either way----that is something that is disconcerting-----

    The worst part about people who do things of this sort though----for those who first come to sites like this and really do want to try to figure it all out----it might serve to dissuade them from being open and sharing stuff if they are going to get judged and have people be critical of them----I know that when I first came here---had such a thing happened----I would just figure this site to be not worth my time and find some other site instead of sticking it out and remaining here.

    I am certain that many of our past members who left the site--did so in some measure because of stuff of this sort.

    It's also a bummer----that we cannot have anyplace on this site to be free to have a place where we can talk our shit out without some malcontent having to make messed up comments on what we say.
  9. donttellnehismy
    donttellnehismy
    12 volt can I ask you something privately?
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