As an example of the sorts of discussions that I want members to post here and to answer what my definition---at least my current one as for "What is Bisexuality to Me?" For me---bisexuality means that I do have a sexual attraction to both females and males---I surely have romantic attractions to females and even though I didn't start out having them--or thinking I wanted them---I now see myself at least hoping even longing for such an attraction to take place between myself and another male at some point in the future. Also when it comes to doing sexual things with women and men-----I really do not have the desire to engage in a "Three Way" sexual experience either that being FMF or MFM. I really do prefer that I either have sex with a male or a female---and not mix the two. For one thing--perhaps it is my age now----but I find it already not easy to balance having a "deep relationship" with one person---let alone trying to do that with more than one person. When I was young---I had times when I was involved to some degree with several ladies at one time. Back then--I had plenty of physical and mental energy and it actually was sort of invigorating to be having those simultaneous relationships---it was a great deal of fun to tell the truth. Then when it would come to trying to deal with a set of relationships beyond just myself and one other person----it seems to me to have a high degree of potential problems built right in--namely that people do tend to naturally "get couplely" and if two of the people---no matter what the mix is----the person who is on the outside---gets "screwed" in a non-sexual way and that can lead to real problems---problems I just don't think I need to want at this stage in my life. So---with me----I want to be having sex with either a guy or a lady--not both at the same time----now---the ultimate scenario for me would be-----to find a nice lady close to my age---who is herself bisexual and has no problem that I am. We reach one of those understandings, as couples do, that we can each have our "Friends with Benefits" outside of our prime relationship--which is the two of us and we have our same sex partners beyond our relationship---we just don't have too many of them--having indiscriminate sex with too many outside partners. So far--I have not been so fortunate to find such a relationship, but perhaps with this as a goal, it might happen at some point in the future. Lately--my attentions were focused on helping take care of my father after he suffered a stroke late last year, was in various rehab situations and finally came home earlier this year----he did require much care from my mother and I, along with those we had come in that were trained in this sort of thing---and they provided him things like bathing, doing the various rehabilitation work, checking on his overall health, etc. Unfortunately----he died on us in late April. So----I was in a bit of a deep funk there for a time--but am coming out of it and now getting back in step with life and moving on for whatever life has for me in the future. I hope that what I have shared here, helps to spark a good discussion----I hope that over time----many will contribute their views on this subject--I am sure to post again---with responses and even perhaps some posting will totally contradict what I have said here at this point, as things change and I come to have new insights, views and the like.
Bisexuality for me is a label I use only when trying to find us (wife and I) a new playmate. Once we meet or chat thru e-mail, I make it pretty clear that my attraction to men is specifically sexual. I'm not wired to be in a romantic relationship with a man although I did have a fairly long relationship with a guy who became a closer friend than any male in the past. Probably because we would spend hours sitting on the patio talking. Usually my relationships with guys were just for sex and not much talking. I really don't consider myself bisexual for this reason, hence my username, which describes me more closely. We have experienced fmf and mmf 3ways. Wife is not bi at all and I'm really not into sex with another woman. The wife is plenty for me and a better lover than most I'm sure. We haven't experienced a problem with any relationships developing outside our marriage. We are pretty clear to our outside lovers that if any feelings other than friendship and sex develop we simply will end the relationship. We currently have 2 guys we see. One not so much, one whenever we can which is about every other month due to scheduling issues. It's been a blast for me. I love being able to explore both sides of my sexuality at the same time. Things like passing a cock back and forth, 69/doggie, and DP are some of our favorite activities. One problem along the way came from the fact that my early male lovers were always quick hook ups, usually just oral, usually me performing. Blow and go as it were. I found these encounters very satisfying as they scratched the itch without consuming any of my life. Our MMF sex can go on for several hours. As some know, if you hold back on coming a few times, it makes it nearly impossible to come at all. It's great for a really long fuck fest but I miss the intense sexual feeling I have by taking a cock from soft to orgasm. This has caused some problems for us but the wife is a very understanding person and I have a feeling she will figure out something for me. I may see how she would feel about me having quick nsa sex with her present. I know she doesnt want me to go off alone and it would take some time to get comfortable performing in her presence but I'm sure I would get used to it and she would always be able to join in to some extent. Our biggest hurdle is that her mom lives with us so we can't play here. That makes it easier to weed out the married guys but even some single guys can't host. Really not much of a problem. It's a bigger problem for sex with the 2 of us. Her bedroom is right next to ours so sex is quiet and slow. really not our style. A therapist would be a good idea. I'd like to know why my desire for oral sex with guys is so strong that I will take it to a dangerous level by visiting bookstores with glory holes to get my fix. I would REALLY like to not do this. A shrink a few years ago diagnosed me with "Impulse control disorder" whatever. I think I just have really poor self control and wish there was a way to get it under control. I have been "bi" my whole life. I was trading bjs with a friend when I was like 5 years old and didnt even know what I was doing, I just knew I looked forward to him coming over because we would have so much fun. Once I learned that this activity was "gross" "unacceptable" and "faggoty" I put it away until I was nearly 35. Then the dam burst. Thanks for the group. Feels good to write this down.
Thanks for contributing, this is what I want people to do----just post up such things--to write them out---even if its just for their own good---I surely hope that more people join and take part.
My own bisexuality is evolving still. As I have posted elsewhere in these pages, I came to having sex with other males pretty late in the game--got almost all the way through my forties before I decided to admit my own desires, even to myself. For five or six years, up until late 2011, I was coupled up with a woman who was raised a Catholic, definitely not into sharing me with anyone else, and surreptitious visits to this website were my only outlet. After I moved on, I was lonely, dispirited, and disoriented for awhile--but knew deep down that this pent-up part of myself was something I absolutely had to explore, and this past year I've had more sex than I did in the previous five, and all of it with other males. I may even have been a little reckless a time or two (glory-holes, craigslist and such), but was lucky enough to have gotten away with it up till now (tested negative for HIV at Planned Parenthood, Feb 2013). Not all of it was terribly satisfying, and some I would just as soon forget, but I am at last coming to at least the beginning of understanding of who I am and what I want. And don't want! I have just ended a brief "relationship" (first guy I'd had sex with more than once) with a married man--mostly because I was terrified that I might pass my herpes onto his wife through him. I am pretty careful about it, and in 35 years have never passed it on to anyone since I first learned I had it, or even what it was--but just the idea that I was having an affair with a married man, that I was 'the other guy,' finally engaged my conscience and I couldn't continue. I am no longer interested in playing with anyone who is in a committed relationship, unless his or her partner is either playing along with us or is fully aware and has given his/her explicit consent. In any case, even though I am constantly horny, and checking out other males all the time, I have backed way off from approaching anyone, am much more candid about my std status up front when I do, and cannot imagine entering into an ongoing relationship, especially a live-in relationship, with any man or woman who does not already have all the facts about my history and my sexual orientation. But I am already sixty-seven years old. No one is beating down my door to couple up with me, and after a life at sea I am pretty much a confirmed old bachelor. Still, I do have a libido, and can occasionally get aroused enough to do something about it. I guess if I were to have my dreamiest fantasies come true, some wonderful bisexual lady half my age would decide that she'd love to be my travel-partner, and we would go adventuring together finding like-minded playmates of both sexes everywhere we went. Hah! Perhaps a little closer to reality, though, if I were to run across a nice, devoted, middle-aged couple who wanted to add a bisexual friend-with-benefits to their love-making, I think I could happily engage with them to whatever extent lay in their comfort zone. I don't know that I could ever "fall in love" with another male (though I came close, once), but I am affectionate, and I love sharing life's experiences with a partner, so who knows what the future holds? But when someone asks if I'm gay I always respond with, "No, but I'm not straight, either." It makes for an interesting range of reactions.
I really like the statement that sailorashore made about not being gay but not straight either. That really seems to sum it up for me as well. I'm in such awe of women and girls and all their "good parts" and have always wanted to look at them and touch them and even more so, taste them! I have always loved lissing and licking pussy ever since I did that with my wife many, many years ago. Several years prior to that I had had a guys cock in my mouth to try what I'd heard about but what in actuality, I knew nothing of. I didn't know whether to "blow" it and move my head back and forth or suck it (which seemed so much better to me). I didn't understand the term "blowjob". It didn't make much sense. Still doesn't. After that first time I tried it several other times with the same guy and I really liked even if he didn't. Then to dating, and my now wife and eating her, and I really fell in love with that! I still do, lots! Thing is, what usually happens to people happened to us. Life gets in the way of living. We've been married for over 50 years and I still love her and licking her pussy. In between then and now, I've been able to meet with several guys and find that I really like to suck cock as well, but only as a sexual thing. I have no desire to have anything other than a sexual relation with guys. Lately, I've thought about wanting to suck a guy off while his wife or girl watched and maybe "sharing" his cum with her. I've also thought about being fucked by the guy while eating her pussy. These are almost taboo type thoughts for me as I justified my "guy stuff" as things to do sexually without being unfaithful to my wife. Well, so far nothing of the sort has happened and I suspect, at this stage in my life, it won't. I do have that as part of my profile though, looking for male or couple. To sum up all this stuff, for me being bisexual, and I call myself that with no reservations, I love women and everything about them but also love to have sex with guys every now and then. It really should be the best of both worlds and if no one else is available, there's always sex with yourself.
I simplified it over the years. Some days, my mouth waters thinking about a juicy steak. Other days, it can be mexican food. Then there's the Steak Tampaquena plate, that has a steak and enchilada, and I break down and embrace it fully. Guys are steaks, women are enchiladas.
I have read most of the posts and the one thing I see is that our definition of bisexuality is as diverse as our understanding of the universe. In that, I have learned a lot as I was unsure how to define myself. This is the first time I have found a format to openly describe myself. I was not born with an attraction to men. Actually, to this day I do not find men romantically attractive. Though there have been a lot of male encounters, I have never submitted to nor had the desire to make out with another man. So to describe my definition it must first start with a story that I assure you will have me ready to cream by the telling. The explicitness of the event that led me to my version of being bisexual is not so much for the reader. It is how it has been per manly etched ink my mind. My bisexuality began at the age of thirteen. For those failure with Cincinnati, I was born and raised in what is now referred to as the Over-the- Rhine area. It was diverse and divided racially. Pretty much everything east of Central parkway was a mixture of German immigrants and their descendants and hillbillies with their descendants. I fall into the latter. On the west side it was African Americans. In my neighborhood their we're two theaters to go to, the Uptown mand the Empire. The Empire was my lfavorite. It is where all mthe cool guys hung out. The price of admission was 35 cents on week days during the summer and 50 cents on weekends. This was a time when police acted as truant officers. So if it were a school day and you were caught skipping school which I did frequently, you went to the station or back to school to await your punishment. The owner of the Empire had strict rules about harboring Truants too. One day in the early spring I had a doctors appointment a clinic in the hospital. It was early and when I got finished I found myself with a golden ticket, a doctors slip excusing me for the day. I knew I would get hounded by the cops so I decided to go to the movies. With a doctors note, I could get in. Keep in mind that I was thirteen and always horny. I would jack off in the bath, my dirty clothing everything but my socks as they were banlon and pocket pool was a regular thing for me when no one was watching. it was right around noon when I got in the theater. The movie was what we would rate as PG13 today. He showed them on the weekdays. There were three sections and I always sat on the right 8 rows down from the back. When I got is and my eyes adjusted to the light I saw that there were only two more people there sitting toward the front. So I relaxed in my favorite seat and started watching. There were some cool love sevens where you saw naked asses and the side of breasts. I was rock hard. My leg was soaked with pre-cum and I was rubbing my cock through my pants. Suddenly the shock of seeing an older man scooting down the row I was in made me go limp. I was pissed but not about to give up my seat. The man whome I took to be about my age now, 58, sat down just one seat away from me to my left. Ironically that was where my cock liked to hang too. But, he was staring right at the movie. I know, I checked a few times. So, I started getting back into it too. Within minuts I was rock hard and leaking again slowly stroking my cock not to have attention drawn to it. Right at the point where I had reached my comfort level rubbing on my cock I looked over and saw him staring right at my crotch. I started to get scared. I thought I was about to get in trouble and while these thoughts were rolling in my head he scooted over a seat to sit right next to me. I didn't know what to do so, I just ignored him, took my hand away from my slowly dying erection and stared at the screen. Then in another albeit subtle move he put the length of his arm on the hand rest where his elbow was invading my space just enough to brush against my arm. I was a combination of afraid and confused trying to decide whether or not to remove myself and before I was capable of rational thought, this man dropped his hand to rest on my leg, just above the knee. I was memorized. It was hard to think and I often liken it to a snake that is being charmed. With no obvious resistance on my part, he slowly started moving his hand up my leg and in spite of mental protest my cock started growing to meet his touch. I simply could not move. No words had been spoken. I had not even looked at his face. And as suddenly as he had dropped his hand before he began sliding it up my leg to the head of my dick and rested his hand on it. No one had ever touched me there yet the head of my cock started throbbing. He just let it throb, pressing tightly on it for a minute or so and then ran his hand up the length and back a few times. Then he removed his hand back to the arm rest for a brief pause. I guess to see my reaction but there was none. I was frozen. Then he he ached his arm over to the top of my pants and snaked his hand down to my cock and pulled it away from the leg of my pants so he could hold it upright. He just held it and squeezed it. I was gushing pre-cum and about cum. It felt so good. He knew it too and stopped. He pulled his hand out of my pants, straightened himself up and as he was getting ready to stand he reached over and told me he would give me $5.00 if I would meet him down stairs in the men's room. I just couldn't resist. I went down first. It was an open room with stals and open urinals. No one was there. As I was heading down I remember thinking that he was going to give me $5.00 to touch me again and though I was trembling, I was almost disappointed when I didn't see him down there. Just as I turned to go back up he walked in. He was right in front of me and without a seconds delay he reached down, undid my belt and unzipped me to have my pants fall to my knees. He pulled my half hard cock out of my white briefs watching it grow to maximum hardness in the time it took him to engulf it with his mouth. He sucked upon it stroking it almost rapidly until I felt myself ready to cum a cum I never felt build in me before. I wanted to say something warn him but it was to late and I started shooting cum and it just kept cumming. He was gobbling down every drop sucking with a slurping sound until it had felt as though I had passed my spine through my cock. Then he removed it from his mouth, licked the few drops that were left, repositioned me in my underwear and pulled up lay pants. As I reached to buckle them back together he reached in his pocked and pulled out a a five and handed it to me. Then he just turned around and walked up the stairs and out of the theater. I remember standing there in shock over what had just happened filled with guilt and shame. No matter the guilt and shame, I thought about that for years jacking off to the thought it. By the time I was seventeen I had heard about the adult theaters across the river in Newport and started frequenting them. I was a good looking young man and every time I went I would have an encounter. Sometimes right there in the seat and sometimes in the coin booths. As I got older even after two marriages ans as many children, I kept going. I learned about a place in Mt Airy forest and went there too. There was always someone wanting to suck my cock and I was always trying to relive that first experience. Many years have passed. For a while I had a job where I traveled a lot staying in hotel rooms a few times a week. I found chat rooms that were m4m and would have guys come to my hotel room. One night when I was in my forties, I had a guy come over that wanted to get naked with me. We played with each other for a while and he started sucking me on the bed. I just couldn't resist it so I swung him around to the 69 position and started licking on his cock. Then I started sucking it and when I did I noticed that I was into that more than being sucked in that moment. I sucked with anticipation of what the cum would feel and taste like and enjoyed it even more when he came in my mouth. That is me today. I am married. I have 5 grown children and know one knows about how much I enjoy having a man suck me or how much I like the fel of hot cum shooting in my mouth. thank you for letting me finally share this story.
These are all interesting and provocative. I haven't thought so much about bisexuality, I've just begun to be active, and I've noticed that although I've steered myself toward purely sexual encounters, without hugging and kissing, I'm feeling my resistance to that falling away. My primary interest and entry into the bisexual world was, or so I told myself, wanting to enjoy cock play with other men. I'm finding that, once a cock is in my mouth, a lot of other feelings arouse--desire to please, affection, even worship. I have always preferred the companionship of women, and sex with them....but I can feel that there's more to this than meets the lips, and I look forward to exploring...
Like a lot of things---you go into it having a set of expectations as to what you will do, like, etc--but once you get into it---you find that those expectations change----and it really is kind of silly to think that when we are going into anything in life that we have no real knowledge of--like joining the service, getting married or what have you----the reality of what you find is very different usually from what you expected. I know that for me--this whole thing continues to evolve and change and I am no where near any sort of set thing with it all. I have yet to have any idea how its gonna play out and such. Guess that is part of the fun of it---and its best to be open to what does happen.
I have always used the definition of bisexual (and it works for either gender) as "reach down the front of someone's pants and be happy with whatever you find there." And bisexual is a much more compact term than the one that really fits me..."gay man that loves the feel and taste of pussy." If someone comes up with a single word for that, I'm it.
I also am married and work with a lot of men with my job it is not a good idea for me to come out also I would lose my wife an d family if I did . so I stay in the closet .years ago I enjoyed be sucked more than giving now 25 years later I desire more to suck and feel guys cum I just cannot resist it. I so love the feel of a nice cock and my lips wrapped around it and work it until it cums. this is just how I am
Bisexuality, I think doesn’t really fit me if the definition of a bisexual is to be equally drawn to males and females. I’m not excited at seeing a guy walk by and don’t do ‘double takes’ as I do when an interesting woman walks by. the only exception to that was one time after playing racquetball. I went to the locker room to retrieve my stuff and one of the guys I’d been playing against was in there as well, changing his clothes. While we stood and discussed our matches, he disrobed and I saw this awesome cut cock! I had to force myself to keep my eyes up and looking at his face, but I truely wanted to drop to my knees at that exact moment when I am with a guy, I do enjoy doing more than just a blow and go or just getting off and getting away. I enjoy kissing him passionately and enjoy receiving the same. Touching him all over and tasting and licking and feeling him all over. Where a lot of posters have posted that they will suck a cock, but not kiss a guy, I don’t understand that because to me it’s more than the act. It’s enjoying the person and giving them pleasure
Bisexual is reaching down someone's pants and enjoying what ever you find.
