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So about 25 years ago I was on AOL, drunk and went into a Local M4m room. I was just curious and I guy started IMing me. We were chatting and he asked to come over. I said yes and he headed over. I figured he would blow me or I would fuck my first guy.

He came over and we chatted and headed to the living room, I was super nervous... he stopped me and pushed me up against the wall and then grabbed my head and started kissing me. I didn't know what to do so I went with it and still shocked this was happening. Then he got on his knee and pulled my short down. I was not wearing any underwear. He then lightly but firmly grab my penis and start sucking my off. His grasp was much firmer then a woman but just the right amount. How he held my penis in his hand while the pressure and suction of his mouth all the way down my dick. The way his finger touched me as he played with me balls. At the same time I was just like.. I can't believe I am naked with another guy and he is blowing me. After a while he stopped and asked if I was ready. I said yes but had no idea what to do next. He stood up and he kissed me again and then turned me around and then bend me over with my face side to the couch. He started rubbing my back and ass. I have never done this before I was not sure what was going on. I had never thought about even bottoming before. It never accrued to what it be prepared for. He stopped for a minute and I started to over think what was happening while he was putting the condom on. He then put is hand down of the crack of my ass. I didn't know what to think as he put a little lube around and inside me asshole. I then felt his finger starting in my ass. I was just dumb founded as I thought this was going to be my first blowjob from a guy. I then felt one hand on my hip and then his top of his dick burrowing in my ass. I couldn't move as I thought if I was anything I'd be a top. I had never done this before so I didn't know what to do, how to move, what was ok to do or say. He then started putting his dick further inside me. OMG did it hurt but oddly ok. He keeps asking me if I am OK. I don?t know what sounds I was making but I let him keep going. He asked if he wanted me to stop and I said NO, so we continued. It had been about 10 minutes and then he pulled out and had me sit on the couch. He split my legs apart leaned over me and then put my each leg on a separate shoulder. He then inserted his cock inside me again. I then really saw the size of him and how big he was and how that was inside me. He was slow to start and worked his way fast and a little deeper from time to time. He was always checking if I was ok and again not sure what sounds I was making but he asked again if he should stop. I asked you cum yet and he said no. I said go until you finish. He start faster in and out of me and he slowed and said are you ok? I said keep going! It hurt but I wanted / felt he should finish. I didn't know what was right or wrong way when having sex with another male. Like it was any different than sex with a female. My logic was definitely not working at that time. He pulled out and cum. Everything was my first, first male on male experience, first blow job from a guy, first time a penis was in my asshole, the first time I saw another man face he made while ejaculating and the first time I got a man off with my body. There was a towel on the table and he grabbed it and wiped me down and then himself. He then kissed me and then asked for the shower.

While he was in the shower I sat thinking oh what the fuck just happen? I have just been blown and fucked by another man. Was this right? Was this wrong? Am I gay? Why do I still like woman? So many things going through my head. I got up and cleaned myself up hoe bath style. He then came out of the both room and got dressed while we talked, I was still completely naked. We chatted for about another 20 minutes and he said he needed to go. I walked him to the front door. He started to open the door and then turned around and we started making out again for another few minutes. He said we want to meet up again and he would see me online.

He came over 2 more times over the next couple month while I was still living at that same place. There is a part two I may share one day we I moved to a different state, I found out he was also living in the same city...

I've been broken up with my ex since last Xmas, sadly she doesn't want to come to the realization I am not coming back to her and she calls all the time and expects me to help or fix things, visit or do things together, I didn't decide to leave the relationship because we were getting along so it's been a long year of retreating and letting her figure it out herself. Long story short, I feel as if I should be moving on with my life and dating, and specifically hooking up with men, something that proved to be hard to resist when you are in a relationship for 8 yrs. Not one week went by that I didn't fantasize about finding a new male lover during the whole 8 yrs, every time I was alone I would ride my dildos at home alone, and funny enough I had to keep throwing most of them away, being paranoid she would come over and find them, she was and is a bit of a snoop with lucky tendencies as far as opening drawer or box she shouldn't and finding a object she shouldn't even see ever.

So here I am almost a year later from dating and I had no toys around to play with for about a yr, I was on my way home in Oct on a Sun and saw a xxx store was still open at 11pm, I turned the car around and headed inside, I took a quick walk around the store and saw a lot of stuff I already had before, regular sized vibes and dildos, P Spot vibes etc, nothing that made me say "ahh"

And that's when I saw a big monster on the wall, a rarity in vibes, 10" and 7.25 around, usually vibes stop at 9 "with 7 " insertible and almost never thick like this one was, the package was about 15" itself, it was really big for me as I hadn't had much fun with the lurking g/f around all the time and calling me every hour or 2 for most of the 8 yrs we dated, she was always checking in and god forbid you didn't answer her.. So thinking I'm fucking single and don't have to hide shit, went for it, made my way home all excited and put the batteries in and grabbed the lube and yep, tight as a drum, took a while and lots of relaxing to get the head in and whoomp, the old memory kicked in and it slid past and in about 7" the first night, got all the way to the balls 8.5" the next day or 2 and was starting to slowly get looser to enjoy riding it for 30 or 40 mins a few times.

Flash forward a month and using that thing sometimes 3 times a day, waking up horny, I'd rub my nipples slowly and feel my body tingling as I lay there, I'd reach for my morning wake up ride and clean up after my hands free explosions, then lunchtime I'd be thinking about him and get a tingle in my ass wanting more, then another afternoon delight before dinner and take a few days off.I got used to it quickly but had intentions of getting another unless it was smaller and I wasn't in any rush with my big boy and free mind pushing me to enjoy the big guy fear and guilt free, then the balls started to show a tear in the front from me grabbing and twisting them to insert it inside myself, it is never just a pop in and ride vibe, its big and thick remember? So I started looking around a few weeks ago for a new vibe as I heated up a knife and sealed it but it would tear eventually so why wait for it, buy another and don't stress if it goes, so online later, I found the big brother to my newest one, a Curve Novelties vibe that's 11" x 8.5", 9.5 of it insertible, it looks big, almost too big but F it, I'm down for it now, it should be here this week, in the meantime they had a sale and free delivery and 30% off on the site so I took a look around and decided to make a small collection for myself now that I'm single and don't need to hide my love for all things penis any more. First I bought a Ron Jeremy 8.5" x 6" dildo, then a Doc Johnson 12" x 6"" cyberskyn model, 3rd was a 7" x 6" fuctioning foreskin by King Cock dildo that is new to the market and looks real-ish, really real tbh. Then the icing on the cake and like sucking your first man you never forget that first look, a monster 16.5" x 9.75" King Cock dual density dildo that is 13.5" of insertible, I actually bought that one for the visual and to display proudly as a cock lover on my nightstand, I'm not sure I want to ruin my backside on it but who knows, I might keep on with the whole size and stretch fetish I recently opened up and am now turned on by after being so careful for all these yrs and keeping it normalish to an extent, it just feels so good to go deep and get filled in every millimetre of your hole, it's something that once you do, you'll never forget that feeling inside and how quick you orgasm as it slides in for the first time.

So Im sitting around and thinking, am I crazy buying all this stuff? I get bored of lying on my back or side and backing onto a pillow covered in a towel or lying on my side and pumping it or pushing it deeper, now I'm going to invest $500 to do the same thing with all these nw ones, boring, I wanted more freedom to ride a different way without a man around, to get ready to drop down on a big cock when it came along some day soonish hopefully, lovers do missionary, not fuck buddies, so I googled dildo stands lol, they have a few but it's limited to 3 styles, a chair with some flexible banding that you bounce up and down on, boring, or a blow up pillow fron China that everyone said was garbage and would deflate as you rode it lol., thetre was a cool, expensive half barrel deal that looks like a leathersaddle of sorts with a horn, only sit up style, no angles at $1300US, nah, I don't think so.

So the one I originally saw, a BonBon half barrel firm memory pillow type riding style for $150 that was sold out everywhere except the places that don't deliver to Canada lol. It was nowhere to be found except on one Canadian site for a bit more money but money is no match for a great hands free cum from anal. I have to laugh, before I thought of the pillow and bought it I was thinking about cancelling a few toys, now, I have deliveries on Mon, Tues, Fri and the rider on Fri, with a few more working their way through the system next week, so I went from nothing to everything in 5 wks, and I really can't wait to get and ride them all on my new pillow thing, looks like I'm going to be walking funny and feeling very sexually satisfied in the coming weeks and months, I was already walking funny after banging myself 3 times in one day a handful of times since Oct, I think anyone who knows the signs will be able to tell I've been busy if not now. in 2 weeks time I'll be wakking like I ride horses probably ha ha. So Merry Christmas to me and here's to finding a thick dick man to keep happy and keep the toys for once in a while.

Why are so many men finding their bisexual voice during their midlife? Is it a midlife crisis, the resurfacing of repressed thoughts and desires or a combination of factors?

I can only speak for myself but for me it was a combination of factors and I suspect for many it was or is the same. I can tell you one thing for sure, it's not a midlife crisis. That couldn't be further from the truth as that implies the bisexual voice wasn't there before. It was, it was just under a gag order to keep quiet.

Growing up, society expects us to conform to a heterosexual stereotype to fit in, to avoid ostracizing and the associated stigma that comes with being different so when most of us hit puberty we act as society expects to avoid any unpleasantry. I did, however some refuse and forge their own paths while the rest of us carry on as if everything is right as rain through our twenties and thirties.

For most, that seems fine but for some it makes them anti the very thing they are and they seem to think being anti-gay/bisexual makes them straight in the eyes of society and their lord and saviour. LOL. I had friends growing up who were vehemently opposed to gay/bisexual people only to find out years later after we lost contact that they were indeed gay and they had came out in in their late thirties or early forties. I was never anti-gay/bisexual, perhaps subconsciously I knew I was but was too afraid at the time.

My sexuality however was like a smoldering fire. The more I repressed and denied it, the more it smoldered, becoming hotter and hotter so it was always going to be a matter of time before the fire took hold and once it did, it couldn't be extinguished. Masturbation kept it in check through my teens, twenties and thirties but it was never going to be enough regardless of how much I masturbated, which was a lot. This still rings true today, it's only going to last so long before the next phase starts, physical experimentation.

This points to the fact I knew in my teens. I believe most people who discover their sexuality later in life may have known from a young age too. Controversial comment? Yes, but I do struggle to see how one day someone wakes up and suddenly decides to bisexual, the tendency or curiosity surely must have been there prior. It was for me however I made that choice like so many did before me and chose not to be bisexual. Of course this is silly, I was still bisexual so the choice I was actually making was to hide it and by all accounts I was very good at hiding it or at least scooting under the radar. Some have jokingly questioned my sexuality in the past and I always said "straight as an arrow" when in fact I knew it was "straight as an arrow that can shoot around corners". I think in one case they were testing the waters. It is something I have lived to regret. I didn't choose to be sexually attracted to men, but I did choose to lie to myself and that has caused many years of guilt. Hiding/lying about your sexuality to society has become the norm, most of us feel we have too, but you should never lie to yourself, you can't, you know the answer.

Like so many on the forums, it just so happened that I was in my forties, aka, mid life when I accepted I was bisexual but the few years prior to accepting I was already exploring my sexuality through masturbation but I rationalised that it was out of boredom in my normal masturbation routine rather acknowledge a life long pattern/desire for cock. I started to explore my backdoor with toys, read about sexuality, shave my pubic region and resumed my love affair with gay porn. I also did every sexuality test I could find. The more honest I was, the hornier and harder I got. Truth will set you free or so the saying goes, however for me this lead to some of the biggest and most pleasurable orgasms in my life. My ejaculatory load is considerably more now than when I was a teenager. "Young dumb and full of cum" was a saying I heard a lot when growing up. I'm now middle aged but still full of cum, just not as dumb though the jury still out on the last one.

Initially the guilt was very strong but it felt so good and the moment I got horny nothing could stop me from lubing up my cock-shaped toy, lifting my legs and sliding my it deep inside my ass whilst watching some gay porn. Resistance was indeed futile. I'd edge for hours all the time with it buried deep inside me. Have you ever tried to urinate with an erection and a toy in your ass?

I never married, which I don't regret, so it wasn't out of a sexless marriage that made me come to my senses. For me I think it was the smoldering fire started to burn from the years or repression, denial and guilt. It just took 20 years to get to that stage where it caught fire. I enjoyed it too much and couldn't see a life without appreciating cock. I'm older and wiser and realised being bisexual is not the end of the world, but it might have been for a 20 something version of me, who lacked the reasoning, logic and just wanted to be normal.

Normal is such a subjective thing. In our formative years, normal is what everyone else says and does, in our later years, normal is what we say and do. Normal for me is liking men and women, it has been all my life. Being bisexual is normal and the best thing that has happened to me. I could of been born straight, but I was lucky. There comes a point in life where you just say enough and for many men, it seems to be in our forties. We've already lived a lie for 20 odd years, possibly half our life, done what others have expected from us and decide it's finally time we do something for ourselves and accept our sexuality.

For those who accepted their sexuality mid life, what made you accept it?

I hooked up with a guy I've been chatting with online with for a while. We went to a motel 6 and got comfortable. We both undressed and watched porn. We were stroking ourselves and then each other. I've been shaving from the waist down and painting my toes since I like to bottom. It really turned him on he kept rubbing my legs while we stroked each other. He couldn't wait. I laid down on my back. I found out he is a foot guy. He spent a few minutes sucking on my toes and it felt awesome. Then I lubed up and and let him watch while I toyed myself. Then He finally put it in and it was big. It hurt for a minute but once the pain went away it was the best. I had to stop and bend over on the bed to be able to keep taking it. I moaned like a woman the whole time. I couldn't help it. I was stroking myself and I finally came. He was right behind me and came hard. Im A little soar now. I'm gonna be sleeping on my stomach tonight. I was so great. Now I think I want to try a BBC next.

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Attached Images

• D3.jpg (37.6 KB, 488 views)

Me, taking an enormous pink dildo in the ass. It's my favorite homemade dildo, made from a monopod. I take it on walks in woods, and ride it like there's no tomorrow. I have video of that too that I will post soon. Now watch me take this monster...
[video]https://xhamster.com/movies/2811576/the_big_pink_one.html[/video]

Our friend Charlie mentioned that he enjoyed sucking a man's cock and found it be very relaxing. Without another word he
leaned over and started to suck my cock in front of Cindi. I always had an interest in gay sex, but had
never discussed the topic with Cindi. I looked at her and she at me. We both couldn't believe that a man was
sucking my dick with her sitting right there.

Charlie's blow job was incredible. I laid back and all the tension just vanished. Then Charlie looked up and
eyeballed me. He said I'd enjoy giving him head and that it would relieve my apprehension about his
screwing Cindi. Cindi, who had been stroking Charlie's hair as he sucked me, started to scratch my head and
gently directed my mouth down to Charlie's erect penis. Charlie wasn't particularly big and I could
easily take him into my mouth. I had dreamed about giving head to a man, but never imagined I would be
doing it for Charlie and in front of Cindi.

As I began to suck Charlie, he and Cindi began kissing, again. It seemed like I was sucking Charlie
for 20 minutes, when he pulled out and said, now it is Cindi's turn to have some fun. He rolled over onto his
back and pulled Cindi over so she could sit on his erection. Once Cindi was comfortably bobbing up and
down, Charlie told me to start rimming her rear hole and running my tongue up and down his shaft as it went
in and out. Some of you may find this unusual, but being invited to engage, orally, made me feel like I
was part of what was happening.

Cindi's first orgasm didn't take long. I could hear her moaning the way she does when orgasms sweep over
her. I could also taste and smell her sex. While running my tongue up and down Charlie's shaft, I could
feel him spasm and then his cum began to leak out of Cindi's swollen cunt. I could see and hear Charlie
sucking Cindi's breasts and imagined he had been doing just that while I licked their genitals.

After Charlie's penis retreated, Cindi rolled off of him. They laid next to each other, both having enjoyed
a powerful orgasm. Cindi said she was happy and couldn't recall having four powerful orgasms. Cindi is
always concerned about cum stains on the expensive sheets and we could see the cum leaking out of her.
Charlie said that I should clean her up before the cum stains reached the sheets. Cindi grabbed me by the
hair and with both hands placed my mouth over her leaky vagina. I knew what she and Charlie wanted, they
wanted me to eat his cum out of her cunt. Funny thing is, I was completely happy to place my lips on her
vagina lips. I started to suck away.

After about 15 minutes of eating and sucking on Cindi's vagina, Cindi said I needed to clean Charlie's penis of her juices. Having been so instructed, I leaned over and took Charlie's soft penis in my mouth and started to suck. We were all young back then and
though it was only about 30 minutes since he had an orgasm, Charlie was starting to harden in my mouth. I really liked having a penis in my mouth. Sucking his penis calmed me down the way sucking on a bottle comforts a baby.

We didn't have sex again that night. Instead we all sat in bed talking about what happened and promising
each other that we would never speak about the evening with anyone. The next morning Cindi had to leave very
early to meet friends for a ski trip to Aspen. She left Charlie and me in bed together. We were both
naked when she walked out the door. I can only guess what she thought would happen.

Cindi was gone for 5 minutes when I reach over and held Charlie's penis in my hand. It was a few hours
since he and Cindi had an orgasm. I never had the opportunity to cum. Charlie felt my hard penis under
the sheets and then slide down to the foot of the bed. Charlie took me into his mouth and I came in only a
few minutes. Charlie slid up my body and a drop my own cum fellinto in my mouth. It was strange to taste my
own spunk, but everything that had happened in the last few hours was strange when measured against the
three decades that came before and it was about to get stranger.

Charlie rolled me over on my stomach, opened the KY , rubbed it on his shaft and my bung hole and
before I fully appreciated what was happening he had slide his penis into my tight anus . Charlie fucked me the
way he fucked Cindi only a few hours earlier. The next few minutes were a blur, but it was a wonderful blur.
When it was over, my ass was sore and cum dripped down my leg. It was amazing to have a man's penis in
me. I understood why women loved being filled by a warm penis. His thrusts wiped my mind clear of all
thoughts but his satisfaction.

Charlie, Cindi and I got together a few more times. So far as I know, none of us ever told anyone else. The
next year Cindi and I moved across the country because I was transferred by my employer. ANd Charlied faded into a mempory.... We miss him